|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
<hides behind a wall because of the way she left the chapter> 
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
 OH NO!!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!! Why leave it at that?! You just... just stabbed him and quit! Poor form! Going crazy waiting for more! 
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
Originally posted by Mouserocks:
OH NO!!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!
Why leave it at that?! You just... just stabbed him and quit! Poor form!
Going crazy waiting for more!  Why? Because I am evil. Trust me, there's more to come with poor Clark getting stabbed in the next chapter. Mostly because I am evil.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: Originally posted by Mouserocks: [b] OH NO!!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!! Why leave it at that?! You just... just stabbed him and quit! Poor form! Going crazy waiting for more!
Trust me, there's more to come with poor Clark getting stabbed in the next chapter. Mostly because I am evil. [/b]I can appreciate evilness, but I appreciate it better when there's more to read and quick... :p
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Mouserocks: <strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: <strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Mouserocks: <strong>  Soon! I promise!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,070 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,070 Likes: 31 |
Umm… you *do* realize the *good* guys are supposed to win this one, right? The door of the red Blazer opened and a tall, impossibly gaunt woman emerged, dressed in tight dark jeans pants and a black and purple shirt. Oh great.  I have something that belongs to you."
She popped open the trunk of the car and hauled out each of his children, throwing them roughly to the hard ground. They were blindfolded and bound with heavy lengths of chains. They struggled against their bonds, wriggling like fish out of water. Clark could hear the hammering of their hearts as fear gripped them. "Grandma and Grandpa are in the back seat of the car," Hunter added. Why did he recognize *their* heartbeats, too? "Leaving so soon?" Alti asked, a knowing smile curving her lips. "You make one move and they will be dead before you can reach them. You may be fast, but I can kill your precious children with no more than a thought. That goes for any of you." Yes, but how about a blast of heatvision right through her eye? Shouldn’t that pop the ol’ noggin before she can formulate a thought? All wore ancient looking leather armor and carried an array of weapons. Some of the grizzled faces were scarred, some bore tattoos, and some had missing fingers or other evidence of the hard lives they had led. Oh look! More bad guys. Dahak's in the business of resurrecting dead murderers and warlords now? Doesn't seem like his style." Well, if the other gods can do it…? He shook his head, so slightly that she barely missed it. "Not sure yet." Oh… great… Pulling roughly, she bared the child's throat to her blade, pressing it carefully against her flesh. A small, thin trickle of blood appeared on her skin.  A warlord came up behind her as she spoke. At the same moment, her chakram returned to her hand, completing its journey. Xena deftly caught the weapon, turned to meet her foe, and used the razor edge to slice the warlord's throat. She reached into the tailgate of the Blazer and pulled out the lead case she held hidden there. Hey! That’s not playing fair! The chuck of stone that the shamaness held was thick on one end but tapered down to a sharp, pointed end on the other side. Ooooooh! Will she put it on the ground? And can then someone push her onto it? Yes? Please? With that, she plunged the stone into his stomach. Clark cried out in anguish as the radioactive substance entered his body. Umm… DC, didn’t you insert it into the wrong person? Shouldn’t the pointy end go into Alti’s ear? Michael
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
Umm… you *do* realize the *good* guys are supposed to win this one, right? They....are?????  Why did he recognize *their* heartbeats, too? Too focused on the kids. :p Yes, but how about a blast of heatvision right through her eye? Shouldn’t that pop the ol’ noggin before she can formulate a thought? It should. Too bad Clark has morals though. *Now* it's a party! Well, if the other gods can do it…? :p So, the old Jeep’s a war casualty, then? Unfortunately. <takes a moment of silence> You know, she’s torturing him with all those Kryptonite imagines. Wouldn’t it be more effective to show him when Lois walks down the aisle to Lex. When she runs off with Max. Dates Call-Me-Daniel. Dies from freezing. Dies from electrocution. Dies from freezing. And so on. And so on. She has to work with the memories that a person has. Not what she thinks would hurt the person but isn't true. She got pretty kick-butt in the later seasons.  That’s quite violent. What will the park rangers say when they find the scene?  Umm… DC, didn’t you insert it into the wrong person? Shouldn’t the pointy end go into Alti’s ear?  Mission to freak people out with the cliffhanger ending seems to be accomplised!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,070 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,070 Likes: 31 |
Yeah, it's right there on page 137 of the villain's handbook. Too bad Clark has morals though. /waits for him to explain that one to Lois. Unfortunately. <takes a moment of silence> I don't remember but didn't one of them snipe about the car? Mission to freak people out with the cliffhanger ending seems to be accomplised! /Checks Nice-Author guidebook./ Hmm...There, on page 12, it states explicitly, no cliffhangers where people are seriously wounded. Michael
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
Yeah, it's right there on page 137 of the villain's handbook. Well *that's* going to ruin Alti's day. /waits for him to explain that one to Lois. If the Kryptonite doesn't kill Clark...Lois will. I don't remember but didn't one of them snipe about the car? Not snipe per se, but Clark *did* offer Lois a new car on several occassions...and Lois was determined to drive it into the ground. I think it's in chapter one. /Checks Nice-Author guidebook./ Hmm...There, on page 12, it states explicitly, no cliffhangers where people are seriously wounded. I'm a nice author??? <checks handbook> Hmmm...I have the updated version for 2011/2012 and I don't see that in my book. <checks Michael's handbook> Oh. Yours is from 1987.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,070 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,070 Likes: 31 |
Not snipe per se, but Clark *did* offer Lois a new car on several occassions...and Lois was determined to drive it into the ground. I think it's in chapter one. Aaah, yes. So, did he subconsciously fly into the car? Did he and Alti set this up just to get Lois a new car? /checks again/ Great. It's only the second edition. You've got the revised fifth edition. /heads over to Amazon.  Michael
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
Aaah, yes. So, did he subconsciously fly into the car? Did he and Alti set this up just to get Lois a new car? Wouldn't that just be a kick in the pants! /checks again/ Great. It's only the second edition. You've got the revised fifth edition. /heads over to Amazon. You'll do better going through a seller.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
|
|
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
 Wow! I hate seeing Clark hurt or in pain, and I think you've managed to hurt him more in this chapter than any other story combined! I didn't really have time for another chapter tonight, but I'm going to have to go read the next one--I'll never be able to sleep with Clark bleeding to death! And I knew Kryptonite was bound to show up!  Gossip on Kryptonian weaknesses obviously travels faster than light. I love the way you've written the children--not snobs or brats or annoying, but really nice children caught up in this. Still, I'm worried about Jonathan and Martha; they're older and may not be able to handle this kind of excitement as well as they used to. Glad the children are safe for now, though.
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
Originally posted by AntiKryptonite: Wow! I hate seeing Clark hurt or in pain, and I think you've managed to hurt him more in this chapter than any other story combined! I didn't really have time for another chapter tonight, but I'm going to have to go read the next one--I'll never be able to sleep with Clark bleeding to death!
And I knew Kryptonite was bound to show up! Gossip on Kryptonian weaknesses obviously travels faster than light.
I love the way you've written the children--not snobs or brats or annoying, but really nice children caught up in this. Still, I'm worried about Jonathan and Martha; they're older and may not be able to handle this kind of excitement as well as they used to. Glad the children are safe for now, though. You may hate me for a minute or two in the next chapter. I was really, really evil to Clark in this story. But I promise not to leave things *too* messy. Yes, word about Kryptonite does travel fast. Dahak and Alti know far too much. Glad that you like the kids. I figured with Lois and Clark raising them, they're going to be mostly nice kids who occassionally get into trouble. It was hard trying to remember how I acted/spoke at their ages though! I wanted to make sure that it was as realistic as possible. I wouldn't worry about Martha and Jonathan too much. They've been through a LOT with Lois and Clark over the years. This is just another one of those things that come with being the parents of a superhero.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
Also, I claim no responsiblity for any loss of sleep incurred by having to read an extra chapter tonight. 
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
|
|
|
|
