Author's Note: Finally got this ready, and just in time for tomorrow, too! Special thanks to AngelFinally for being an excellent beta. And best of luck to all of you tomorrow! Hope you successfully scare someone witless and get a great laugh out of it! Part two will be up at some point tomorrow. Enjoy, and review!
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Prank You Very Much ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Lois?"
The sound of her name coming from his lips made Lois jump, and she promptly minimized the document on her screen and spun around in her chair with a forced smile. "Yes?"
Clark frowned in confusion. "Uh, what are you up to?" Lois' facade slipped for a moment as panic flashed through her eyes. Clark suddenly grew very nervous. "Lois? Lois, is everything all right?"
She merely brushed it off. "Fine, Clark. Everything's fine. Geez, why has everyone been so darn curious today?"
His brow furrowed more. "Everyone?" She hummed a noncommittal response and turned back to her computer monitor, being careful to open up a different window than the one she had just been working in. "Come on, Lois. What gives? What's going on?"
Lois bit her lip nervously. "Promise you won't tell anyone? Anyone at all? Not Perry or Jimmy or even Superman?"
Good grief, could the woman be more frustrating? Her demands were only serving to concern him more. "O-kay," he dragged out the syllables. "But only if it's not something terrible I'm going to need to actually go to Superman or the police about."
"Oh! It's not. It's really not, I swear."
"Okay, then. What's your big secret?" Clark sat on the corner of her desk with a slightly smug expression on his features. He couldn't help it- he loved that he and Lois were getting close enough now that she could trust him with any of her secrets. Of course, he was not oblivious to the irony of that statement, and knew just how hypocritical he was. He had to tell her, and soon, but timing was everything, and Clark just didn't know when it--
"Clark, what's today's date?"
He frowned once more. "The 31st of March. Why?"
"So the date tomorrow will be..."
"April 1st... Oh."
"Not as dumb as he looks, folks," Lois spoke with a teasing grin before returning to her computer screen and reloading the minimized document. Clark leaned in and skimmed over it from his position above her shoulder. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth in anticipation of his reaction.
"They're... prank ideas? That's what all of the fuss is about?"
"Yes, but they're for everybody. See- Perry, Jimmy, Ralph..."
"Okay, yes, I have to admit Ralph's is pure genius. And Perry will both fire and kill you if you mess with any of his Elvis memorabilia, so you might want to come up with something else there. But still..."
"What? It's some harmless fun for everyone."
"Then why am I not on the list?"
"Because!" She threw up her arms in frustration, rolling her eyes at his dogmatic ways. "First of all, the suspense is
killing me and I know I won't be able to keep my plans to myself for long. And secondly, I figured you'd get it out of me anyways. Not to mention," suddenly her expression turned devious. "Now that you know all of this stuff, you get to be my minion!"
Clark rolled his eyes, acting appropriately offended. "Minion? Come on, Lois. You and I both know I at least rank partner in crime for all that you're liable to put me through."
"Fine. How about cohort? Jeesh. I'm not making name tags," she muttered under her breath. Clark chuckled and shook his head.
"So, what problem is so important that you needed to bring a
cohort on board?"
"I don't have a problem."
"Uh-huh."
"Okay, fine. But I know you're not going to like it." She squirmed uncomfortably in her seat.
"Try me."
Lois let out a heavy sigh and finally scrolled down to the last page of the document- predominantly blank, except for one name.
SUPERMANClark felt himself pale drastically before pulling it back under wraps. He struggled to find something to say in response. "Uh, Lois... you know, um... pranking Superman... wouldn't that be... uh, challenging?"
Clark could have smacked himself for even asking that of her, especially at her bright grin. "Of course! Think about it! To be able to pull one over on the Man of Steel? That has the makings of brilliance- and of genius!- all over it!"
"Unfortunately, it also has the makings of an
evil genius all over it. Is it your goal in life to become a criminal mastermind?"
Lois rolled her eyes at him and gave his arm a light swat. "No, you lunkhead. But it would be fun, right?"
Clark tried to keep his tone admonishing and not nervous. "Lois, no! You can't pull a prank on Superman. What if you distract him from a real rescue?"
"What if I need a real rescue?"
"What if you get hurt accidentally?"
"Clark, I'm not going to do anything stupid. That's what I have you for. See? All thought out."
"Lois, I'm actually being serious, here."
Lois' expression softened slightly. "I know. I am too, though. I need your help. Otherwise you never know how foolish I'll get. Please?"
Clark sighed in resignation. How could he help her to prank himself? It was not only completely ridiculous to try to pull a fast one over on a man with x-ray vision and super hearing, but nearly impossible. And she was telling him outright how she was going to do it... Suddenly, the wheels in Clark's brain began turning, and he had to fight to keep his grin hidden away and keep up his scathing tone. "Right, Lois. How exactly do you even plan on doing that? Or even getting his attention? I hope it doesn't involve you jumping off of anything precariously high?"
"Of course not," she snapped and rolled her eyes at him. "I figured I could get you to find him for me."
Clark squirmed uncomfortably. "Look, Lois. You want help pranking anybody else in the world, and I'm in. Perry, Jimmy, Ralph- whoever. Even my parents. But I'm not going to help you with Superman." With that Clark slid off her desk and walked back over to his own seat, sipping at his coffee in order to hide his smile.
"Fine! Stick in the mud," Lois huffed in indignation. "Just stay out of my way. I never even needed your help. I can handle it myself," she ended up muttering under her breath. Clark finally allowed himself to chuckle at her behavior as he booted up his computer and thought about just what he could do to turn the tables on his girlfriend.
