After Clark left Lois, he didn't know what to do with his nervous energy. He was afraid for her – tense with worry that she might have another breakdown. He hovered outside the closed door. He didn't know what to do – should he stay here and be ready to help her again, or would that be overbearing? He didn't want to talk to Kent or Lane right now – dealing with their normalcy was a bit much right now. Not that he would ever wish this on them – but they were so happy and relaxed that they left him feeling hollow at times.
“Is she all right?”
He turned, hearing Lane's voice, his heart sinking somewhat at having been found by one of the people he wanted to avoid. He was shocked into silence at realizing it was LL who had spoken and not Lane. She seemed equally discomfited.
“I suppose she is. She says she is... “
LL swallowed hard. Clark felt her unease sharply. He wanted to leave her, but didn't know how to end this conversation.
“She's brave,” LL finally said, speaking to the door. It was easier to forget who he was if she didn't look at him.
“Unquestionable,” he said. He wanted to tell her she was too, but resisted the urge.
“How long before you were friends,” she asked. It was one of the things she'd been desperate to know.
“A year... just about.”
“Seems like such a short time. Considering. You must have pulled out the charm.”
“I avoided her as much as I could,” he confessed. “Although we did have a few encounters... “
“Saved her life?”
“Once... when she first had arrived. She almost got run over by a truck.”
LL gave a half smile – a mirthless smile, more like a wry quirk of the lips.
“That must have been disastrous.”
“She didn't get hit by the truck, so my definition of disaster is... different.”
“What changed the tide?”
It was strange, conversing with someone who looked fixedly at a wall as she spoke. Then again, it wasn't strange. It was very familiar... although back then, when Lois couldn't look at him at all, she also couldn't talk to him. LL was very rigid, her fear obvious, but she was hardened to the dictates of what she felt to be her duty.
“An asteroid nearly hit the earth. “
“So gratitude that you stopped it? I am assuming you stopped it.”
“When she came back – she began to write articles about the threat I posed. Funded by Lex Luthor. I think when I failed to retaliate she began to question her convictions. “ He sighed, remembering the pain. “I just tried to stay out of her way. Then the asteroid became a threat. I knew I had to go stop it, but I didn't know if I could. I knew she had more knowledge of what my … ah – my people – could do... so – I wanted to ask her – I know. Sounds awful, but … if the plan was doomed to failure at the start, perhaps an alternate plan could … “
“It makes sense, Clark,” LL said shortly. “Go on. Don't feel you have to explain.”
“Okay... well... I wanted to talk to her, but I couldn't. So I asked her father.”
LL paled and Clark flinched. Her father was probably dead in this world. He had no idea the fate of so many – his own parents... hers, her sister- but he dared not ask.
“She didn't have answers... but at least she was willing to pass along that message to me. I had also tried reaching out about Lex. I thought he was – dangerous, as did – others that Lois trusted. I tried to give her information that we had on him – but I ended up scaring the hell out of her... after my impact with the asteroid, they thought I was dead. Lois went to my apartment to look for the data on Lex and found me there – with absolutely no memory of who I was. She overcame her aversion to me and worked to help my memories returned. I'm sure it was sheer hell for her, but she did it anyway. And my memories did return. I was able to take care of the asteroid. After that, our relationship turned the corner. We became friends.”
LL was silent, pondering his words. She knew there was plenty that he wasn't saying – but she didn't press. This was enough.
“How did friends – become married?”
“I have no idea how that happened,” he said. “I'm just glad it did.”
“Did...you make the first move?”
“No! No – I could never have told her how I felt. No – she did... because she's incredible.”
LL exhaled harshly.
“You both seem happy together. Like the other two - “
“I believe you can find happiness with more than one person. I do think Lois and I -belonged together – but she and I could have found happiness with others... “
“You're worried I think that Kal-El is my soul-mate?”
“I'm worried that you worry that he is.”
“You don't need to worry about my heart, Clark.”
He was silent, not knowing what to say to that.
She relented.
“I can't … have that life.” She force her gaze to meet his. “You must understand... something of that?”
He nodded.
“I hear what you're saying,” he said carefully.
She gave him a small smile, which shocked him. Then she looked away again.
“Thank you for not trying to convince me otherwise.”
“It's not easy to keep quiet,” he said. “But I know better. I don't know you. I don't have the right to act as if I did.”
“What do you think of him?”
He hesitated.
“Do you trust him, Clark?”
“Trust is … a tough word to use. My assessment is that he's sincere, but he's had years of training with the whole telepathy thing. As a future ruler – he had to learn to disguise his feelings well. So – I don't know. I'm not so good with the telepathy. It's possible he's just very good at hiding.”
“Yet you left her with him.”
“It's what she wanted. I had no right to override her wishes.”
“Even if he hurt her?”
“I'm out here, aren't I,” he said, a wry smile on his face as he spoke. His gaze had also been on the wall, but now, he turned and she turned as well, and their eyes met. He saw the burst of fear in her gaze before she covered it.
“So you're ready to charge in and save her if need be.”
“I felt the radiation on him... in him. I know he's not 100%. I also trust the medics in there because you do. They can protect her as well.”
“Do … are you angry that I asked for her help? Im a coward. I sent her in to do my job.”
He paused. He knew how important this was to her. This one question.
“No. I'm not angry,” he said softly. “Not that it would matter if I was... you had the right to ask her, and she had the right to agree or not -”
“But I put her in danger -”
“He's not dangerous, really – with the radiation -”
“But now he knows about her. If he is dangerous, he might seek to – harm her later."
“We came here to help free this world. This is a necessary step.”
“Okay.”
“Do you believe me? I'm not angry -”
“Yes...”
“Are … you going to talk with him?”
She paused and then looked at him.
“I'm out here, aren't I?”
“Ah... touché.”
“Yeah. I have to talk to him.”
“I'd be happy to stand guard,” he offered carefully.
“I wouldn't mind that,” she said mildly, looking at her feet.
“Ah – well. Then … absolutely.”
“Lois might need you after this,” she said. “Perhaps - “
“It's okay. I'm going to wait, if that's what you want. I know she'll understand.”
LL nodded feeling ridiculously relieved. Clark made her feel protected and that bothered her in the extreme. How had this happened? Is this how it had happened between the two of them in his world?
