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This is my first attempt at writing a flat out comedy fic. Please feel free to comment on anything and everything. I apologize if my comedy gene is broken at all.  Here are the real fics that I mentioned: "Great shades of Elvis," Perry complained as he commandeered Lois' computer. "This person wrote about my death!" - The Passing of a Legend, by Deadly Chakram "I think I just found a worse one. A list of a hundred ways to kill Superman!" - 100 Ways to Kill Superman by Deadly Chakram, VirginiaR, Lynn S.M. , Alisha Knight, Marcus Rowland, Darth Michael, MrsMosley, Christina, Lara Joelle Kent, ccmalo, Morgana, Shallowford, Ultra Woman, Female Hawk, and Framework4 "And here's one where you had a baby with another woman, before Lois," Jimmy said. - Chip Off The Old Clark by Stopquitdont Clark sighed. "That one had you and our baby dying in childbirth." - Distraught by Mouserocks "Hey, CK. Check this one out. There's a manual on here for dealing with Lois," Jimmy said, trying to hide his immense amusement. - Lois Lane 101 — A Handbook by VirginiaR, Deadly Chakram, Lynn S.M., Darth Michael, Mouserocks, Shimauma, Framework4, Christina, Shallowford, Lara Joelle Kent, SJH, Classicalla, and Olive "Oooh, I just saw one about that," Jimmy said, snapping his fingers and going back to the other window he had open. "Ah yes, here it is. Clark magically turned into a dog when we all thought he'd been shot and killed." He paused. "Huh. Now that miraculous resurrection makes a ton more sense." He shook his head. - A (Super) Brief Paws in the Heroic Life of Clark Kent by Deja Vu Any others mentioned in the story are purely fictious fictions. 
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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  Well, I don't know about other people, but I enjoyed it. I did wonder a bit about what Cat was doing there and about Arthur Chow (he must have dumped the stripper wife). Lots of fun, DC! Tempus sure does know how to reak havoc. Too bad he didn't get trapped in that alternate universe where Superman was only a myth. That would have been just desserts.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Clark looked at what his friend was referring to. "Fanfiction?" he asked, voicing the question to no one in particular.
Jimmy nodded. "Stories based on beloved characters in television, movies, books, games, what have you," the photographer explained. When everyone gave him a strange look, he cleared his throat. "I, uh, might have read some Star Wars fanfics before."
"But...that doesn't make any sense," Lois said, shaking her head. "We're not fictional characters in a story. We're flesh and blood people. And yet...there's stories apparently written about us." Well, there is a concept of fanfiction called "Real Person Fic" or RPF. I don't tend to read those though as they always feel a little stalkerish to me. Lois shuddered. "Creepy," she said. Her eyes darted quickly over the screen before her. "Although, I do have to agree with the assessment he gives my neck. It is rather nice." She smirked at Clark.
"And it's all mine," he said possessively.
Lois whacked him playfully on the arm and snickered. Clark growled lowly and kissed the neck in question. Lois sighed, momentarily in heaven. If it wasn't for this fanfiction thing, she'd insist on being whisked away to their home to take advantage of Clark's nuzzling in private. hehehe. Naughty, naughty Clark. "Because it's so ridiculous, the way a stupid pair of glasses and some lame excuses so thoroughly throw people off and hide the fact that you moonlight in tights."
"They aren't really tights, you know," Clark countered. "Just Spandex pants."
"Actually, it's more of a unitard, isn't it?" Lois smirked. Looks like Lois had the last word there. "And here's one where you had a baby with another woman, before Lois," Jimmy said.
"Clark..." Lois said, mock warning in her voice.
"Lois, honey, you know I'd never do that."
"I know. It's just fun to watch you squirm a little sometimes." Lois flashed him a wide grin.
Clark rolled his eyes. Let me guess... a Mary Sue? "Well, this one has you getting pretty amorous after some red Kryptonite," Cat helpfully pointed out. "Too bad you went after Lois in it. Why is it always her?" Because she's his soulmate of course.  "Of course they do," Jimmy said, shrugging. "That's what makes it appealing for some of these writers. The element of 'what if?'...know what I mean?" Everyone turned to openly stare at him. "Okay, I might have written some fanfiction in my time," he admitted with a sheepish smile. "Never the slash stuff mind you." Of course that doesn't really surprise me. Clark looked at his monitor and typed in the address Cat had mentioned earlier, pulling it from memory. He hoped nfic stood for non-fiction. However, as he scanned a new story, it became quite obvious that was not the case. It was nothing short of very graphic, very adult material. He quickly backpedaled out of that story. I love how Clark's Smallville sensibilities came to the fore here. Of course he'd be the kind of guy that wouldn't go for it. Of course, that's one of the reasons we all love him. "Oh, Lois, here's one about you and me," Cat purred, teasing her. "I don't know whether to be flattered that someone wrote about me, or offended that they paired me with you."
"Quick, Clark, give me your garbage pail before I throw up," Lois retorted with a snort. Ah, yes the fem-slash. Clark chuckled. He was embarrassed, but he clicked on a new link anyway, his curiosity awakened and taking control. His eyes popped open at what he read on the screen. And yet, he couldn't stop the slow grin that unfurled on his face.
"Honey," he said, nuzzling her neck. "I never knew you were into that." His voice was a whisper in his wife's ear. Of course, he's always been the curious sort. It's one of the reasons he and Lois make such good investigators. "I know," Clark grumbled with a sigh. "It's just....weird. All of this." He gestured to his computer screen. "Don't people have anything better to do with their lives than make up stories about us?" *rubs gin in thought, then shakes her head.* No, not really. "Of course they do," Jimmy said, looking up from his screen and shrugging. "But, CK, no offense. Until you've tried it, you have no idea how addicting it gets."
"I get what it's like, to enjoy writing so much. That's why I made it my profession. But to write about other people..." You know, I think you encapsulated how I feel about RPFs. "You want some company?" Cat said, licking her upper lip seductively. "There's this one I found where you, Lois, and I..."
"Cat," Clark said, cutting her off firmly but politely. "I really, really don't want to know."
"Suit yourself," Cat grumbled. *snort* I love how Cat takes these stories as he cue to try and get a little action with Clark. Cat pouted. "I don't know. I was kind of enjoying it."
Lois rolled her eyes. "Aren't you late for your flight to Tuscany with Arthur Chow?"
Cat flashed her a winning smile. "Um...no. Not when it's a private plane, Lois." When I first read this I was thinking, "she's trying to convince Clark to fly her Superman Express." Then on re-reading I remembered that Arthur Chow was richer than Luthor in Season 1. Lois rolled her eyes again. "All right. I'm with Clark on this one. I'm going home."
"Boy, marriage really has changed you," Cat said, muttering under her breath.
"What was that?" Lois snapped.
"I said, marriage really has changed you," Cat repeated, louder this time.
Lois crossed her arms defensively. "Oh yeah? How's that?"
"The Lois I left behind when the Planet blew up would be eyeball deep in research already, wanting to know exactly what just happened with the internet. But this Lois...this married and in love Lois...is going home?" Cat made a terrible face, as though she'd sniffed something with a pungently disgusting odor. "It's like I don't even know you anymore!" Well love does that to people, Cat. And don't think Lois doesn't enjoy the downtime. I do have to wonder if Lois convinced him to make his own (private) fiction as a result. The kind they keep in the bottom back corner of a drawer.
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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That was fun! I love that Cat's the one to find the slash. How in character. This line cracked me up too: "Don't people have anything better to do with their lives than make up stories about us?" What a great twist that Tempus was behind all this, linking to a world without a Superman.  Joan
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Top Banana
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DC, that was a laugh and a half. You should write comedy more often. You cracked me up.
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Pulitzer
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<chuckle> Cute.
I second the suggestion that you should write more comedy.
BTW, I'm pretty sure I recognize a couple of the stories you were alluding to, but would you consider posting a list of the titles of the specific stories mentioned?
Joy,
Lynn
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Superman: I hear you've been looking for me.
Lois: All my life.
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: Well, I don't know about other people, but I enjoyed it. I did wonder a bit about what Cat was doing there and about Arthur Chow (he must have dumped the stripper wife). Lots of fun, DC! Tempus sure does know how to reak havoc. Too bad he didn't get trapped in that alternate universe where Superman was only a myth. That would have been just desserts. Thanks so much, Virginia! Glad you enjoyed it. I always get a little nervous that things are way funnier in my own head then when they come out into the world. I had actually forgotten about Arthur Chow marrying a stripper until the other night when I was watching with my hubby (slowly turning him into a FoLC I think). But I wanted to play fast and loose with the characters a little, and the circumstances.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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I second the suggestion that you should write more comedy. I agree with Lynn: it was fun! And like Joan, my favorite line is: "Don't people have anything better to do with their lives than make up stories about us?" Not only to make up stories but to read stories! Good job, DC. 
Sydney
Non ! non, c’est bien plus beau lorsque c’est inutile !
(Edmond Rostand)
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Well, there is a concept of fanfiction called "Real Person Fic" or RPF. I don't tend to read those though as they always feel a little stalkerish to me. I'm all too aware of that. And all too creeped out by it.  Looks like Lois had the last word there. Yep. That's why we like her. Let me guess... a Mary Sue? Erm, actually SQD's "Chip Off The Old Clark." Because she's his soulmate of course. Of course that doesn't really surprise me. I could see maybe Justin's version of Jimmy being a fic writer. I love how Clark's Smallville sensibilities came to the fore here. Of course he'd be the kind of guy that wouldn't go for it. Of course, that's one of the reasons we all love him. Yay! He really can be naive, huh? Of course, that makes him all the cuter. Of course, he's always been the curious sort. It's one of the reasons he and Lois make such good investigators. Yup! *rubs gin in thought, then shakes her head.* No, not really. We're all guilty as charged, methinks. You know, I think you encapsulated how I feel about RPFs. Yeah. RPFs seem stalkerish to me. But, to each their own, I guess. *snort* I love how Cat takes these stories as he cue to try and get a little action with Clark. As she says in ASU: "Can't blame a girl for trying." When I first read this I was thinking, "she's trying to convince Clark to fly her Superman Express." Then on re-reading I remembered that Arthur Chow was richer than Luthor in Season 1. Second richest man in the world. Well love does that to people, Cat. And don't think Lois doesn't enjoy the downtime. I'd venture to say that she might like the downtime even better now. Far more interesting...activities. I do have to wonder if Lois convinced him to make his own (private) fiction as a result. The kind they keep in the bottom back corner of a drawer. <chokes on tea>
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Originally posted by scifiJoan: That was fun! I love that Cat's the one to find the slash. How in character.
This line cracked me up too:
"Don't people have anything better to do with their lives than make up stories about us?"
Joan Thank you very much, Joan! Glad I could entertain you! I knew from the moment I got the idea to do that that I somehow wanted Tempus to be involved. He'd love the irony.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Originally posted by HappyGirl: DC, that was a laugh and a half. You should write comedy more often. You cracked me up. Thank you, HappyGirl! So glad that my comedy gene isn't actually broken! That's a relief. I don't often get the idea for anything comedic, but I'll try it more often if my muse gets the ideas.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Originally posted by Lynn S. M.:
<chuckle> Cute.
I second the suggestion that you should write more comedy.
BTW, I'm pretty sure I recognize a couple of the stories you were alluding to, but would you consider posting a list of the titles of the specific stories mentioned?
Joy,
Lynn Great idea, Lynn! I'll have to make the list of the real ones I was thinking of and put them in the original post in this thread. Thanks so much. I can't 100% guarantee more comedy, but I'm much more open to it now.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Originally posted by jackiek:
LOL!! Very cute!!
Jackie Thanks a bunch, Jackie!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Pulitzer
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I can't really take credit for that idea. Erin Klingler had the idea for her fantastic story Clark\'s Bedtime Stories . Joy, Lynn
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Originally posted by Sydney: I second the suggestion that you should write more comedy.
And like Joan, my favorite line is: "Don't people have anything better to do with their lives than make up stories about us?"
Good job, DC.
Thank you, Sydney! I had particular fun in writing that line, truth be told. And yes - to sit and read them too!!!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Originally posted by Lynn S. M.: I can't really take credit for that idea. Erin Klingler had the idea for her fantastic story Clark\'s Bedtime Stories .
Joy,
Lynn Ah, it's still a good idea though, and not something I thought to do.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Pulitzer
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Once again, I have to reserve any comments until tomorrow. The evening has another commitment! Rats!
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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I love it! Finding the "big secret" on line and having you do all kinds of unmentionables just for the amusement of readers? Who thinks of these things? You must have had a "Pizza" dream to come up with this one!
I just hope some real people who have played some comic book characters think that we are being respectful but are thinking naughty just so they have a good time. We wouldn't really tell all those secrets if they were real people, would we? (Hide the gossip section on here, please.)
Cute story, Vicki.
Pat
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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