Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK - Wrong Clark (26/??)

Lois wanted to trust Clark, really she did, but how could she trust someone she knew was lying to her? She just wished she knew how she knew. It seemed ridiculous that she couldn’t trust the one man Superman trusted more than her. Now that she acknowledged that she was attracted to Clark, trusting him seemed more important to their relationship. Not that she and Clark had any sort of relationship; she had made sure of that, but how could she not trust a man she was she was half in love with? It didn’t make any sense.

Originally posted by John Lambert:
I wonder if you really want the double "she was" there. It sort of works because at some level this is Lois rambling, but right now it mainly looks like a typo.

Clark typed away on his story about the Metropolis’ gangs’ new initiation ritual: throw the newbie into one of the canals leading to the Hob’s River. If they survived then they were in. Superman had been plucking more dead bodies out of the canal and bay lately, all with gang tattoos, and Clark Kent was encouraging City Hall to enact better patrols and fencing around the canal. He was sure once the cooler temperatures set in, this new ritual would be passed over for another one, just as sick. MPD had thought that there was a rash of suicides among gang members for some reason. It had taken weeks, and Superman actually spotting the ritual in action, before MPD acknowledged what was really going on.

Clark knew he was being irrational. He knew that his parents hadn’t died because they had run into town to stock up on his favorite junk food. He knew they must have bought other things at the market. He knew that since his father had gone with his mom, they had probably stopped by Smallville Hardware and Feed as well to pick up supplies. He knew he was being irrational. How could not know? Lana had told him for years he was being absurd. She hadn’t really cared that he didn’t eat sweets. Lana had been strict about her own diet, so it made her feel better that he wasn’t always pigging out on junk food in front of her like other men.

“But he’s so strong, Clark,” Lois pleaded. “He’s liable to hurt someone, and if he hurt someone – even someone who deserved it like that jerk, Tommy ‘The Torturer’ Garrison – he’d never forgive himself. You don’t know him like I do, Clark, he…” Her voice faded as she looked at him. Her fear for Superman melted into that expression of love which came to her eyes whenever she spoke of Superman, that expression which made it impossible for him ever say goodbye, that expression which made him fall for her all over again each time he saw it.

Originally posted by John Lambert:
In re-readin I noticed that first you speak of "canals", but then the next two times it is "the canal". It seems a bit inconsistent.

I think it should say "How could he not know".

On another note, maybe that is the real reason why Clakr and Lana broke up in canon. She didn't like him eating all those sweats.

I think that should be "concentrate on your".

I think it should be "ever to say". It might work the way it is, but it feels to me like it needs the to.