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#886 05/05/03 04:25 PM
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AnnieM Offline OP
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Sorry this is so late. I've been sick and had two finals today. I actually totally forgot about posting until Pam, ever so subtly, reminded me.

Some major rewriting of this section. What do you think? smile

Annie


Being a reporter is as much a diagnosis as a job description. ~Anna Quindlen
#887 05/05/03 04:44 PM
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Annie,

Being sick and having finals is not an excuse! I am glad Pam reminded you before I had to. I was getting close to sending you an irate message. But I was too involved reading Anybody's Baby to remember to do that wink .

Should I tell you again how much I am loving this story? Maybe you're sick of hearing it wink . This part was so good - and the description of everything going on was absolutely incredible! I could just see Lois and Clark dancing in the club! It felt like I was there watching the whole thing. It was so sensual, but not anywhere close to "smutty" at the same time. Aah, happy sigh smile1


Laura "The Yellow Dart" U. (Alicia U. on the archive)

"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." -- Christopher Reeve
#888 05/05/03 09:34 PM
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Annie

A fantastic part! goofy

I'm thoroughly enjoying this and look forward to the next part.

Tricia cool

#889 05/05/03 10:18 PM
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Well, I hope you are feeling better, and that you did okay on your exams. That said, I'm *really* glad you posted this today. This bit of sweetness was something I needed after the craziness that was today... (Today is the first day of the new term, and that is *always* stressful.)

I'm looking forward to the next part smile

Melisma (totally WAFFed out here under her Rock)


Do, or do not. There is no try.
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#890 05/05/03 10:55 PM
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Yay, you posted smile This was great, Annie. Bits I loved --

--Clark covering for Lois even with Jimmy, and her reaction
--"The Left Wing" ... lol
--Clark's telling Paul to get the heck away
--Lois dragging Clark onto the dance floor
--the way she sat in his lap! drool
--that kiss! Can't wait to see how they both try to convince themselves it wasn't real wink
--bedtime, and a bedtime kiss. goofy

PJ

#891 05/05/03 11:21 PM
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Nice part Annie smile1

~Liz


Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
#892 05/06/03 03:23 AM
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**Glances covertly aroudn** Annie, being sick with finals IS an excuse! (But of course this is coming from the "I write two pages of fanfic a month" Club, so I'll recommend listening to the ficus tree people for now.)


Quote
stop stressing about all the deeper meanings in everything
Ahhh! That's fine for Clark, but I'm dying here! I can't WAIT til they admit what's really going on! smile1 hyper


"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
#893 05/06/03 06:20 AM
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I really love your 'Playing' series - the premise
is brilliant and the writing beautiful.

Eagerly awaiting the next part smile1
Hopeless chocoholic

#894 05/06/03 08:38 AM
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Hi,

Great part! drool Sweet.

More soon, please.

MAF laugh


Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
#895 05/06/03 12:57 PM
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Annie, still loving it. I like your revisions, Lois's surprise that Clark was protecting her secret, even from Jimmy. Hasn't she figured out yet that she can trust him? :rolleyes:

And the scene in the club is definitely steamier in the rewrite - very nice. The bit with Lois plopping herself unexpectedly in Clark's lap was wonderful.

Much as I loved it, I was surprised to see the way you rewrote the kiss on the dance floor. Before was just a mere brushing of lips, but this is "more"... and as you point out in the next paragraph, Clark realizes that Lois must have known what she was doing. I am curious to know how this is going to affect what originally came several parts later in your story, and I'm looking forward to the rewrites on that as well!

Kathy


"Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter." - Babylon 5
#896 05/06/03 01:22 PM
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Annie
I still love this
just read 4 & 5
keep it coming
quickly please
merry

#897 05/06/03 02:05 PM
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I'm so glad everyone seems to have loved the new stuff in this section. Yes, I fleshed out the dance floor scene quite a bit. I have to give credit to Kathy for much of this. She was the one who kept encouraging me to play it up. (Imagine that, Kathy wanting a steamy dance floor scene. Something new for her. <G>)

My cold is a little better today, though not much. But I'm hurtling towards my deadline on my Advanced Editing project, so I don't have time for any more comments if I'm going to get the next part out tonight. Somehow I think you'd rather see part 6 than my ramblings. smile

Thanks again,
Annie


Being a reporter is as much a diagnosis as a job description. ~Anna Quindlen

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