“Martha and I were wondering if she knew and was a darn good actress or…” Jonathan said, his voice fading with the other unspoken option.
CLARK: No, she just never attributed that floaty feeling to anything but my prowess in bed.
Quote
“I doubt I’d be on the couch if she knew,” Clark grumbled as another tendril of jealousy for his missing alter-ego rose.
Eeeeehhhh…
Quote
“Or permanently there.”
Quote
If you can’t be honest with the woman you love…”
He really doesn’t get the hint about them being estranged and his sleeping on the couch, does he? Then again, he probably has never come across an IRS marriage.
Quote
“It’s more for her protection that I haven’t told her. If it ever got out about me, the people after me would come after her.”
RALPH: Even I can see how that one’s a fishy excuse.
Quote
“I just know if I kept something like that secret from Martha…”
He’d be permanently in a wheelchair?
Quote
“I’ve got that EPA Clean-Up list you asked for. Smallville’s not on it. You want me to send it to that fax number you gave me earlier?” Jimmy went on.
You know. Those tricks would never work in today’s world. As it stands, one has to wonder why the field offices choose their assignments instead of the Bighead Central.
Quote
Martha had sent her back to the house to take the call and help the guys with breakfast.
Although, I’m not sure that’s the better option.
Quote
The question was: who was the real Clark Kent?
Quote
Was it a local crime? Maybe.
Polygamy?
Quote
In a way it was romantic and yet totally believable, except for one flaw. Why would the mob be in Smallville?
/points at TV show named ‘Smallville’/
Quote
She dropped her head into her hand. Why couldn’t Clark be straight with her? Why couldn’t she fall for a normal guy? First Superman, now this one.
Dr. FRISKIN: Why do you think you have such commitment issues?
Quote
Surely he wouldn’t have chosen Clark at random to be the man to protect the woman that he loved, right?
Actually…
Quote
“That’s because I am normal,” he countered. This guy didn’t know how to toot his own horn.
No. He’s not flexible enough that way. It’s also why he needs a Lois.
Quote
“Very funny, Lois. How come you get to call me whatever you like, and I’m not allowed one little nickname?”
/points/ She’s Lois?
Quote
We cover the world,” Clark said, speaking up for the first time. It was nice to hear the smart-aleck back again.
“Plus, Smallville,” Lois tagged on.
Michael
Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!)
Good point. She likes Clark too much to let him die.
Clark: She does? I was begining to loose hope. Thankyou for the help.
Quote
Actually Clark is always happy to have Lois nearby, no matter how much she's torturing him. Better a Lois nearby than a life without her in it at all.
Clark:Hmm, but I have come to Smallville a bunch of other times, and Lois survived in Metropolis for all of those. Reader:That was before you knew about Ms. Kahn's death, at least mostly. Clark:Good point, no Luthor here. OK, so maybe it is better to have Lois here, but I wish I could have come up with a better sotry than us being married.
But water *stings* on open wounds. Especially small scratches.
LOIS: Oh? Does it?
Quote
Lois!
LOIS: Michael! What? Are you saying he didn't deserve it? <<looks skeptical>>
Quote
Sounds like a Roman encampment.
LOIS: Let's hope that Trask doesn't like to walk around in a toga.
Quote
He fell into some bushes?
No. Actually, he keeps his balance quite well.
Quote
And he’s not even the one who sent her there. But Lois doesn’t know that and she’s probably enjoying this.
LOIS: Who Me?
Quote
Yep. Still mad from the MetSewRec.
LOIS: New anger, different day.
Quote
Everybody knows everybody else. The community sticks together and help each other out?
Except when your parents die and strange things start to happen when you're around.
Quote
/quotes Spaceballs/ They’re the adoptive parents of his alternate version’s father’s son.
Spaceballs! I haven't seen that in forever!
Quote
LOIS: Wait, she’s *the* Martha Clark-Lane? My mother kept telling me stories about her second cousin’s wild days. I just had no idea!
MARTHA:
Quote
He really doesn’t have anyone except Cat, doesn’t he? Poor alien
Well, the Kents have accepted him as well.
Quote
They’re really bad people? Also, they had no idea there was an alternate version out there. Or the means to get to him.
Yeah! What's up with them?
CLARK: Come on, guys, aren't you being a little harsh?
EW: He has no sense of humor.
Quote
That’s not really an answer.
Yes, but by not answering he doesn't have to lie more.
Quote
Suggestion: The truth?
She can't handle the Truth!
Okay, she could handle it, but she wouldn't believe it.
Quote
Ooooh! She can slug him now without breaking her knuckles
LOIS: I've never broken my knuckles on Clark. <at least not in this story>
Quote
Oh my. He could still dress as Superman. Carry her like Superman. Until he stumbles and she falls. Make love to her like Superman – superquick and only once.
LOIS: But Cat said Superman could go all night long without stopping?
CLARK:
Quote
He’s really making a case for himself, isn’t he?
Quote
Looks like you were right about her not appreciating a squatter.
Yes, but I've read ahead.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Don’t worry. He isn’t able to run very fast right now.
CLARK: I don't mind if she catches me. Every time she lays hand on me, feels like a caress. Only now that I've got K poisoning... Well, I'd rather die by her hand than somebody else's.
LOIS: I'm not going to kill you.
CLARK: You aren't?
LOIS: How will ever get any answers if you're dead?
CLARK: Oh.
Quote
That’s nothing. You she have seen what she’d do to a computer
CLARK: Er... That wasn't the computer, that was the gift from her sister.
Quote
LOIS: Ewww. Do you have any idea were those come from?
Quote
It took me till the next paragraph to realize she means washing-out-his-mouth-with-dish-soap swearing instead of hand-on-the-bible swearing.
LOIS: Maybe I meant both.
Quote
Unless…was she actually referring to his truth aversion?
CLARK: Well, Lois, I hear that a female Mad Dog is often referred to by another name, and since you want me to be fully honest with you...
Quote
Oh. Okay. That’s safe. Unless he’s fathered the infant when he helped out as Jerome.
CLARK: But I've been in this dimension for less than 6 months. Then again, I'm me.
Quote
Lana’s got a whole bunch.
There are all forms of hell.
Quote
That reminds me, is she still wearing her business dress?
LOIS: No, I took it off to try on the brown dress, but then didn't have enough cash, so I've been wandering around in the buff hoping that Clark would notice, but instead he's drooling over some blonde with brats. Of course, I'm still wearing my business suit!
Quote
Wait. Lana dumped Walt for his best bud? And he accepted her, too? Oh boy. That’s better than a soap opera!
Glad you're enjoying As The Corn Turns.
Quote
Also, I thought he crashed the car. Which means, um…he drove her back home after? Then how did they conclude rape? Especially back then? Oh dear. Oh my. Oh boy.
Date rape. Not abandoned in a cornfield rape by a stranger.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Originally posted by John Lambert: Actually Clark is always happy to have Lois nearby, no matter how much she's torturing him. Better a Lois nearby than a life without her in it at all. Clark:Hmm, but I have come to Smallville a bunch of other times, and Lois survived in Metropolis for all of those. Reader:That was before you knew about Ms. Kahn's death, at least mostly. Clark:Good point, no Luthor here. OK, so maybe it is better to have Lois here, but I wish I could have come up with a better sotry than us being married.
CLARK: Yes, I like having Lois nearby as opposed to back in Metropolis where she could be getting in danger by herself. True, I've made a mess of things, but I'm sure it will work out in the end.
LOIS: Sure, buddy, you keep on thinking that.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
That’s naughty! No Clark-nookie for you on your wedding night with Lex.
LOIS: Say what? I'm doing what?
Quote
*That’s* not the point. You wouldn’t shoot Lex either below the bellybutton for bugging you, would you?
LOIS: Depends on when he bothers me? In the middle of a story? On a date with Superman? When I get to the steamy part of a romance novel? While eating chocolate ice-cream with hot fudge sauce and whipped cream? I could always use a stun gun, taser, BB gun, full force water hose nossel, rubber band... for those offenses. All non-lethal. Unless, of course, you meant British form of bugging, then YES, yes, I would.
CLARK: So would I.
Quote
It’s a good thing she’s not mercurial at all.
CLARK: You mean, she can get angrier?
LOIS:
Quote
Exactly. That’s when they call the village priest.
CLARK: Yes, I've met with one or two or 12 of those in my day.
Quote
True. But that’s still way too fresh. They might still sell him out.
CLARK: What? Mom! Dad! You wouldn't?
Quote
ER: I know. You should have seen him when someone shot Lois just for kicks.
LEX: It was an ACCIDENT! Really, you people, try to kill off someone to make a girl strip off her clothes for you and jump your bones and suddenly you're evil.
Quote
A lie in the heart is still a lie, and lie that cuts into the heart at that.
CLARK: I don't want to lie, but no matter what I say, Lois isn't going to believe me. I'm the boy who cried wolf and now he's suddenly arrived and nobody's coming to save the sheep.
LOIS: Likely story.
CLARK: See.
Quote
So, a drunk wolf who molests the sheep?
CLARK: You mean I could drink away my worries now?
Quote
No, I’m just telling it straight. I guess I could have become a lawyer if I had wanted to…
CLARK: But I like you. I don't like Lawyers. You make Lois say and do funny things.
LOIS: <wearing a maid's outfit dusting> What? I'm undercover.
CLARK: See?
Quote
DEAD CLARK: Skank.
DEAD CLARK: Actually, I gave her permission to move on with New Clark as long as he wasn't an evil clone. This one's a bit of a lunkhead, but he doesn't seem evil.
Quote
LOIS: Also, happy endings.
EW: I do write sad endings very well. But I guess there's always a first time. I mean, *not* with this story. Maybe if I turned M&J evil or something and Tanked you all. But NOT this story. This story is all about the HAPPY ENDINGS, isn't it?
Quote
Obi Wan cut a bit too deep, back on Mustafar, huh?
OBI WAN:
Quote
LOIS: You put a half-dead plant in front of each table setting and pour the coffee onto them, right?
MARTHA: I don't have any half-dead houseplants. Sorry, how about some coffee mugs, dear.
Quote
/reminds Clark he’s presently vulnerable to rusty spoons and has a delicious sleen/
CLARK: <points at Lois> She's the one who wanted me to be 100% honest.
LOIS: Blaming the victim there, buddy?
CLARK: Lois, even when you've been shot, you're never the victim.
LOIS: Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. I mean, I haven't forgiven you.
Quote
Plus, Lois doesn’t know that.
True.
Quote
Drat. Also, I think she’s sticking out more that way.
CLARK: Lois sticks out even in cammo.
LOIS: Is that a sexest joke, there, Chuck?
CLARK: No! I just meant, because you're so beautiful. Does anyone have any feet? I'm fresh out.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Originally posted by Darth Michael: Cool video on star sizes: Lois’s normal anger = our sun. But she can go all the way up to VY Canis Majoris when getting ticked off.
on that video. Super cool. I wonder what Clark's powers would be like under a blue sun?
LOIS: See, he hasn't even scratched the surface of my anger.
Quote
MARHTA: Well, son, we need the money for Jonathan’s ramp…
CLARK: But I helped BUILD that!
MARTHA: Yes, and we thank you for that.
Quote
No, what makes it evil, is that you don’t intend to marry her afterwards should she get pregnant.
LEX:
Quote
Unfortunately, Lois doesn’t do drunkards too often.
CLARK: Oh, right. Ah, what the hell. She hates me already anyway!
Quote
He continuously lied to Lois. Plus, he wouldn’t make love with her to save her life. Or her sanity.
DEAD CLARK: And that makes him different from me, how?
Quote
EW: I don't write sad endings very well. […] But NOT this story. This story is all about the HAPPY ENDINGS, isn't it? ER: /rereads/ Oh, there should be a ‘don’t’ at the start of that. Also
There, fix it. I drive my Betas crazy with my dropped negative contractions.
Quote
/Lois eyes strange implements with appropriate suspicion/ They look similar to the mugs from the office. But they don’t have pinups on them that get nude when the mug is hot. Or Superman crests…
Oh, did Lois replace her grey coffee mug with a Superman one?
LOIS: No, but maybe I could get one of those ones that as it cools off, Superman's uniform disappears. <<after they return to Metropolis, while drinking coffee during the morning meeting>> Hey, you know what's funny, without his uniform, Clark, Superman looks just like you.
CAT: How would YOU know that, Lois?
LOIS: <<holding out mug>>
CAT: About Clark, I mean.
LOIS: Oh, look at the time... I need to write a story about... something bad. Lying... cheating... politican or something. Hey, it sure is hot in Metropolis, yeah! I could write about that! Tootles!
CLARK: <<shakes head>> I don't know what she's talking about. Superman doesn't look anything like that naked.
<<Clock ticking on the wall of the office as they all stare at Clark, and Cat starts to giggle>>
CAT: Oh, honey, sure he does. Who do you think sold them the photo?
Quote
/points at Lois’s feet/ IVY says she likes that one.
CLARK: That isn't what I meant!
GEM-Dimension CLARK: Don't knock it, til you try it.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Originally posted by Darth Michael: Well, blue Kryptonite made for a very unhappily married Lois during her honeymoon.
Well, that doesn't sound like a good thing.
Quote
Hmm…sounds like he read Jenn’s Green Fever.
Haven't read that one either. I think that's a bad plan!
Quote
That was a fun one!
I aim to please. Although, I've been known to go off-target sometimes.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Originally posted by Darth Michael: No, it’s good. For us. Lois was
I meant for Lois.
Quote
/Watches as Virginia’s moon rocket shoots towards Mars/
Mars? No, I meant Gotham City instead of Metropolis. Of course, they don't usually appreciate my Batman jokes.
BW<BM>: But we do appreciate all your Superman jokes.
CLARK: Superman jokes?
LOIS: There isn't anything funny about Superman!
EW:
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Originally posted by Darth Michael: How many Batmen does it take to crash the Batmobil?
None, it drives on autopilot?
Quote
How many Supermen does it take to satisfy Lois Lane?
LOIS: Concenseus is out on this. As I have yet to be satisfied.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Originally posted by Darth Michael: How many Supermen does it take to satisfy Lois Lane?
LOIS: Concenseus is out on this. As I have yet to be satisfied.
ER: And a point of great concern to her, one might add.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/froehlich/d025.gif)
Although, I’m not sure that’s the better option.![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/engel/g030.gif)
Michael
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/teufel/a050.gif)
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/g030.gif)
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/e015.gif)
I haven't seen that in forever!![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/frech/e045.gif)
He has no sense of humor.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/haushalt/n025.gif)
Well, I'd rather die by her hand than somebody else's.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/e010.gif)
There are all forms of hell.![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/boese/a045.gif)
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/g040.gif)
But I guess there's always a first time. I mean, *not* with this story. Maybe if I turned M&J evil or something and Tanked you all. But NOT this story. This story is all about the HAPPY ENDINGS, isn't it?![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/verschiedene/c050.gif)
He continuously lied to Lois. Plus, he wouldn’t make love with her to save her life. Or her sanity.![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/s020.gif)
I think that's a bad plan!
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/boese/a055.gif)
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/teufel/g030.gif)
Mars? No, I meant Gotham City instead of Metropolis. Of course, they don't usually appreciate my Batman jokes.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/haushalt/e035.gif)