Part 9

Lois sat sniffing in front of the television set eating the latest batch of Swiss chocolates that Kal had brought her. 'The Ivory Tower' was in the middle of its torrid triangle love affair and it was hitting her too close for comfort.

<<How can I choose, Mother?>> Stormi Ceize cried. <<Every time I think about leaving one for the other, my stomach ties up in knots and my heart aches. My soul is being torn in two pieces and I can't live this way. It's no use. I should join a convent and forget all about men.>>

"Not if I get there first, honey." Lois blurted.

<<Oh, daughter,>> Calamity Ceize said softly. <<You must search your heart and find your true love. Only you can decide.>

"That's right! Tell her what to do, Calamity. You're the one with all the dead husbands!" Lois retorted. <Now I'm speaking to the television set. Oh no! This is bad. Really bad.>

<<But Mother! My heart beats for both of them!!>> Stormi sniffed dramatically and tossed her long blond hair. <<On one hand, there's Bradley. He's so mysterious, but I know he loves me. He sets my heart on fire with just a glance of those deep, dark eyes. Then there's Brandon, who doesn't know I exist as a woman. I'm just Stormi to him, but there's just something about him that makes me love him so. He's... he's my best friend!>>

"Ohh!!" Lois blindly reached over the end table to locate a tissue. After almost sending a lamp teetering off the table, she pulled a tissue out of the box and blew her nose noisily into it.

<Did these people snoop into my personal life or what?> she thought, choking back another snuffle.

<<It's settled then. I'll go to him tonight. Oh, Mother! I'm so happy! Thank you for helping me decide.>> The scene faded as the theme music swelled.

"Who is it? Who did you choose? Oh, drat!" She clicked the television off. She'd missed Stormi's decision while she was blowing her nose.

She was pathetic. This should be one of the happiest times of her life. The man she'd been dreaming about for months had just declared the night before that he was still in love with her and here she was crying in her chocolate. It wasn't even chocolate from him; it was a gift from another man.

Clark's parents were in town today and he had called her earlier to see if she wanted to join them. Ever since waking up this morning, she had been feeling down and a bit confused. The last thing she wanted was to make pleasantries with her new boyfriend's parents, so she had told Clark that she was feeling a little off today, probably because of their late hours last night. It wasn't that far off the mark, she rationalized.

Last night. Clark had been so wonderful last night. He'd been sweet and tender, and so very handsome - every woman's dream - her god in glasses. Sitting on the bench with him as they watched the sailboats was so romantic ... and his kisses - she sighed in contentment - were fantastic. At least she had no doubts about that particular insecurity anymore. Everything about it was perfect, even when she broke down in his arms and told him the whole sad story of Claude. She didn't realize how desperately she needed to share that with someone, and now felt completely cleansed of the whole ordeal.

Clark finally deposited her at her door at four in the morning. After several failed attempts to say good-bye, he told her he loved her and tenderly kissed her, then reluctantly left. They had decided to take it slow this time and get to know each other before getting involved as heavily as they had the first time around.

So, it had to be these feelings for Kal that had her stomach all tied up in knots. Was it possible to be in love with two men at the same time? Soap operas did it all the time. She caught herself. In love? With Kal? Oh no! But if she were to be honest with herself, she had to admit that it was true. She was in love with her best friend. In love with... Superman.

Could she have been a little too hasty in proclaiming her love for Clark? After all, didn't people usually 'date' first? The physical attraction between them had been there from the start, but it had been only last night that they really started to get to know each other. Of course, they had been working together the past few days and there had been times between them where they had talked about topics other than the story they were working on, but last night was the turning point.

On the other hand, it was Kal who she knew. All his little fears and insecurities, his hopes and dreams. They had been through so much together, she felt so close to him; especially since the night he had come over feeling so devastated from not being able to save that little girl's life. She knew him so well, except his real name and what he did for a living, but those were only details; she knew the real person he was inside. And tomorrow night she was going to know everything about him. She pushed aside the chocolate she was eating. It felt like a betrayal to Kal to eat them in light of the new level her relationship with Clark had reached.

Why couldn't she have known her true feelings for him before last night? Then, she could have dealt with this new revelation without the complications of now having Clark in the mix of things. She could have taken it slower with Clark, which would have allowed her to examine her feelings for Kal more closely. Now she and Clark had said they were in love with each other, and in some unspoken way, were committed in a relationship. And she did love him - more than she thought it was possible.

How would Kal feel if she said she wanted more than friendship? Before they kissed that one night, she was certain she saw him looking at her tenderly when he thought she wasn't looking. But he was in love with someone else now. Judging from the kiss he had given her while thinking of her, he was madly in love with this other woman. He even said so in his dreams a few days ago when she had comforted him. Why did this admission of love upset her so much?

She was afraid that she'd waited too long, and now she'd lost any chance with him. He probably won't stick around much longer. More than likely, this other woman was going to come to her senses and realize what a great guy Kal was. Then he would want to spend time with herinstead of coming over to her place every night to just hang out. And, if she didn't get a grip, she was going to lose Clark too. She just had to get over Kal and concentrate on Clark.

There was only one way to do that - it was time for a big pity party. She needed to wallow in her feelings, then forget about them. It was the only way through this sticky situation. Perhaps she should get dressed and find something a bit more substantial to drown her sorrows in.

She was glad Clark was busy with his parents today so that she could concentrate on Kal. She couldn't see him again until her feelings for Kal were resolved. Once Kal was purged out of her system for good, then she could concentrate on maintaining their friendship. She couldn't lose that; it meant too much to her. Pulling on some jeans and a tight-fitting short-sleeved sweater, she briskly ran a brush through her hair and started turning out lights in her apartment. She knew of the perfect place to do this. On the way out the door, she grabbed the box of chocolates.

******

Lois entered the lighted interior of The Snitch after pounding on the door and insisting to Bobby Bigmouth that he let her in so she could grab a good seat before they opened for business. Bobby had to rush off immediately to supervise the kitchen - he didn't have even have time to get in his usual jabs and barbs, which suited her just fine considering the mood she was in. Once inside, Lois was amazed at the amount of Superman paraphernalia that adorned the walls, tables and even the ceiling. Normally a restaurant, it had been transformed completely into a Superman theme for Kal's fundraiser.

She should have warned Kal the other night that this might turn into a circus and that he needed to be careful. He was so trusting, his heart was so big, that it didn't concern him so much that his name could be misused - he just wanted to help build the trauma center for the children. It was part of the grieving process he had to go through.

Lois looked around the restaurant; it was nicely done in a tawdry sort of way. Superman paraphernalia was posted all over the walls, figurines of Superman graced each table, and reports of Superman's rescues were framed and hung on display. Lois chose one particular booth with a life-size cutout of Kal sitting right across from her. She ordered a cream soda and pulled out her box of chocolates.

She greeted the smiling face of her friend. "Hi there, buddy," she spoke softly as her heart turned over at the sight of his handsome face. It was one of the rare photographs of Kal where he had allowed himself to smile in front of the cameras - a smile that he usually reserved only for her. It had been taken during the first press conference he had given on the day he became Superman when she was in the crowd to offer him moral support. Looking at the cutout alone was not enough to tell her where it had been taken, but she had seen the whole picture in the entranceway of the bar and instantly recognized the place and the day it was taken. She remembered him faltering slightly in his speech, it was barely perceivable to anyone else looking at him, but she could tell he was nervous. His whole countenance had changed when he found her in the crowd and had acknowledged her presence.

So maybe that smile had been for her. Now the question was: was that the smile that friends gave each other, or was there more to his feelings even then? Maybe she was crazy to even think he was feeling something for her way back in the early days of Superman. Surely she would have known it, or felt it. Why would he keep it a secret if he had been starting to have feelings for her?

After receiving her drink, she opened the box of chocolates and made a proclamation to herself - when all these pieces were eaten, her feelings for Kal would be gone. Time to get him out of her system once and for all. The proverbial hourglass was now overturned and the sand was beginning to fall. Eyeing the brown tidbit philosophically, she nibbled a tiny corner. This was going to be a long night.

******

Clark pulled the baseball cap down on his head and motioned his parents through the door. After finishing a wonderful dinner at a nice Italian restaurant, they decided to stop at The Snitch for dessert and possibly a nightcap. Clark didn't particularly care to visit the establishment again; his visits the past couple days as Superman were enough for him. It didn't make him very comfortable to see the hero worship bestowed on his alter ego. But his parents had not been to visit the fundraiser yet, so he felt obliged to show it to them. They had offered to see it on their own, but Clark insisted that he wanted to go. The baseball cap he was wearing was just a tiny insurance policy to insure that no one connected him to Superman.

"Clark, this place is so... flashy," Martha commented.

"Tell me about it," he groaned. "Only a few more days, and it's going to go back to its original decor. The money they're raising is being matched by some major corporations and all the funds are going to build the Children's Trauma Center at Met General."

"You know Clark, just be careful to who you lend your name. Every worthy cause is going to want to use it now. I hate to say it, but some might even exploit you." Jonathan piped in with his fatherly two cents.

"I know, Dad. Every time I come here, I wonder if I didn't make a mistake. I should have insisted on more say so in handling all the details. If it weren't for the fact that this hospital will be saving children's lives... That's one area where my powers can't help."

"That's okay, son. Just grin and bear it for a while, but be sure you learn from this experience. It's not like you have a superhero handbook to follow," Jonathan said, patting Clark on the shoulder.

"Speaking of bearing it, they certainly like close-ups of Superman in those tights. I knew that outfit would be a big hit when I designed it."

Clark felt the heat rise in his cheeks. "Mom, do you have to be so loud?"

"Oh, honey! Nobody is listening; they're too busy looking at those pictures."

"Mom!"

The waitress motioned to them that their table was ready.

*****

The life-size cutout of Kal was still smiling at her. A sense of loss, and almost desperation was starting to knot itself in her stomach.

"Oh, Kal. Can you be serious for a minute? This has got to stop. Whatever this is that I'm feeling for you... okay, I'll admit it - this love that I have for you has got to go. It's not fair. I have Clark now, and you have... that trollop. She'd better make you happy, that's all I have to say about that," she sighed.

This plan wasn't working as she had hoped. The lump in her throat was making her uncomfortable and the threat of tears was coming upon her quickly. She picked out an oval-shaped piece of chocolate from the box. Two more pieces left; the sand was about to run out.

Her thoughts raced back to the beginning of their friendship. They were eating Chinese food on the steps of the old building in the middle of the city, and reaching out to each other as total strangers. Their first time flying together - that crazy flight that left her giddy and high. She had been terrified at first weaving among the buildings, but she knew she was safe and protected. Kal would never hurt her and she knew that even then.

She remembered the first time he visited her in the room he had found for her. He was so shy and unsure of himself when he was modeling his suit for her. It still tickled her thoughts when she remembered having to coax him down off the roof. And how much it amazed her how fast they fell into the comfortable pattern of familiarity - they were so connected from the very beginning.

The times he'd kissed her. It was so fresh in her mind that if she closed her eyes, she could feel his hand on her cheek, smell his fresh, woody scent and taste his warm lips. <He wasn't kissing me!!,> she thought as she jerked herself back to reality. It was all under the assumption that they were thinking about the others in their life.

A tear trickled down her cheek and landed in one of the brown-waxed chocolate paper cups scattered on the table. It was time to face up to the facts; she was completely and totally in love with Kal-El and nothing she could do here tonight was going to change that. How was she going to let go of the best thing that ever happened to her?

She remembered the sunrise that he had shown her that first night which had melded into the early morning. It was so beautiful. Now with all her feelings for him coming to the surface, looking back, it was very romantic. His words to her came flooding back:

<<<See the dawn? That's the kind of friend I want to be for you. You may have all kinds of storms in your life, people may disappoint you, circumstances may spin out of control, but you always know the sun will come up the next day. Please know that as long as I am able, I'll be there for you; and just like that sunrise, you can count on me to be your friend.>>>

Friend. He's always been there for her; he'd kept his promise. Promise? That wasn't his only promise that night. She remembered more of their conversation.

<<<So what do you want from me?>>> Kal had asked.

She had answered, <<<I want somebody I can count on. Somebody that's not going to switch horses in the middle of the stream and leave or want more than I can give. Someone who won't place new demands on me and will do what he promises. And since you can fly all over creation, some Swiss chocolate would be nice also.>>>

<<<So you want a friend who will stay a friend and occasionally bring you chocolate. I can promise that.>>>

<A friend that will stay a friend...> Oh no! Did she close the door on anything that could have happened between them before they even had a chance? Could he have been holding on to his feelings in order to keep his promise to her? It was very possible. He's always been so protective of her. It was uncanny the many times she had been in danger and he had flown in to rescue her. She fingered the randomly scattered chocolate papers - he had most certainly kept his promise to bring her chocolate.

What about that time at EPRAD just after he became Superman? That moment had been lost to her for so long. Who could forget that wonderful walk in the clouds? After she'd met Clark, all she'd thought about was him. He'd kept her preoccupied for so long, she'd failed to see what was right in front of her - Kal, her best friend, and perhaps, true love.

All of these thoughts were assumptions on her part. Kal had admitted to her that he was in love with a woman at his work who was ignoring him. Maybe when she found out about his real identity, then she could find out where he worked and identify the competition. Perhaps by sizing this other woman up, she could see if she had a chance with Kal.

But what was she going to do about Clark? She should think about him for a while. She loved him, so why was it so hard to concentrate on their relationship now? Oh, Clark! How was she going to face him now? He was wonderful and everything that she'd dreamed he would be. A stab of guilt began to gnaw at her insides. The night before had been a dream come true!

But was it the wrong dream? Had she totally missed the boat in who she should had been concentrating all her attention on? What would it have been like if it was Kal that had been kissing her in that beautifully romantic setting by the lake? Had she been in love with Kal this whole time also?

Clark. It was time to think of Clark. Kal is not an option. He is just a friend.

<Yeah, right. Think whatever you want, honey.>

Kal smiled at her from across the table. In desperation, she flung her cloth napkin at his face to cover it up and sighed exasperatedly when it slid down the cardboard and landed on the floor. She grabbed the waitress passing by, and this time ordered a real drink.

****

Clark had been surprised when Lois declined his invitation to have dinner with his parents. He shouldn't have been; they'd been out so late the night before. Plus, he and Lois had been on an emotional roller coaster the entire night between finally sharing how they felt about one another to Lois telling him the whole truth about what happened before she left town. Just thinking how that man tried to lay a hand on her left him furious. The emotional abuse he had put her through was even worse. It was a good thing Claude Deveraux had moved out of Metropolis. Since he was Superman, it didn't matter where he moved, but if he ever tried to abuse Lois again, it would be a hard stretch to keep his actions within the confines of the law.

Still, she didn't sound like herself on the phone and it worried him. He didn't know if she was having second thoughts about their newly reunited relationship. It was a dream come true, almost. What he wouldn't give if it had been, Kal, her best friend, who she had fallen for. He didn't know how she was going to react when he told her everything, but he was glad he wasn't putting it off any longer. Tomorrow night. It was all going to be over tomorrow night. She was going to be so furious with him for all his deceit, but he deserved it - it was all his fault.

"Earth to Clark?" His mom was waving her hand in front of his face.

He grinned at her. "Sorry, Mom."

"You were a million miles away, honey. Anything on your mind?" Martha inquired.

"Yeah, son. You've been quiet all day. That's not like you."

Clark lowered his face. "Oh Mom... Dad... You're not going to like this, but I've screwed up royally with Lois. We're seeing each other now and..."

"...you haven't told her you're Superman yet." His mom finished his sentence for him.

"Exactly. But there's more," Clark said grimly. He started shredding a napkin into little pieces. If he told his parents, perhaps they would have some advice for him, or at least, a little parental sympathy for this self-inflicted pickle he'd gotten himself into.

"Spit it out, son. Get it off your chest," Jonathan piped in.

"I've broken a promise that I made to her. The first night we met, she was upset about a past relationship and said outright that she didn't want to become more than friends. I promised I would always stay just friends with her. I've broken that promise to her as Clark; she has no idea that I'm Kal."

"Oh, honey! Don't you see? You've been that friend to her. Just because you fall in love with someone doesn't mean you stop being friends." She patted his hand. "Sometimes they go hand-in-hand."

Giving his mother a sad smile, he continued dejectedly, "If only it were that easy, Mom. I wish it were Kal who she was interested in, but she only sees me as a friend. How can she be attracted to Clark and not Superman, her best friend?"

"You're talking about yourself as if there were two people involved with Lois. Honey, whatever good qualities that Lois sees in Clark, they are there in Superman."

"But Mom, I've made such a mess of things. I've broken my promise to her and she doesn't even know it. How can I still stay friends with her after going back on my word? I didn't know that I was going to fall in love with her when I first met her."

"You couldn't, Clark. But you know that your father and I knew the first time you mentioned her to us; it was written all over your face," Martha said, smiling gently at her son.

He smiled shyly at his mother. "I overheard you and Dad talking that night and that's when I figured it out myself. But then things between us got so complicated when she started working at the Daily Planet. She didn't like me at all as Clark. I know now that it was a reaction caused by someone in her past, and I thought things would get better with time. Instead, they became worse, at least until a few days ago. "

"You know what you need to do, Clark." Jonathan's face held a firm expression. "Better not string that girl on for too long. But you're the one who knows her, use your own judgment. Your mom and I will support you in whatever you decide."

"Thanks, Dad. If you and Mom can take care of yourselves for a couple of hours tomorrow night, I plan on telling her everything then."

"Sweetie, don't look so frightened; it won't be that bad."

"Mom, you don't know Lois. It's going to be more than bad. I've been working under her nose for months now. Do you know she made a bet with me that first night that she would recognize me right away in my real identity? That's why I waited to tell her; I was trying to see how long it would take her. Now I'm dead."

"Oh my! You're going to need more than a couple of hours." Martha tried not to giggle. "Jonathan, do you think we'd better go home a little early this trip before everything hits the fan?"

"Mom!"

"I don't know, Martha. Clark may need us here to pick up the pieces after Lois is through with him."

"His pieces? Or what's left of his apartment?"

"Maybe even both, dear."

"Dad!"

"I'd say our son's in deep cow doo-doo..." He leaned his head against the wall behind him and groaned. So much for parental sympathy.

******

Clark followed his parents as they worked their way through the crowd. They wanted to take a look at the bar and dance section of the establishment before returning to Clark's apartment. He was hoping to get them settled in for the night, then take a patrol around the city. Perhaps after that, he could fly to a quiet place where he could think things through and then, maybe see if Lois was still awake. The anticipation of their talk was eating away at him now. As much as he thought he was doing the right thing when he kept his two identities separate from her, he realized he could have handled the situation so differently.

The bright red, yellow and blue lights flashed over the dance floor. A Superman shield in lights spun around the room in a dizzying special effect. Bobby Bigmouth was dancing among the lights dressed in a white retro jumpsuit. Clark grimaced as he looked for a table, and bumped into his parents as they stopped suddenly.

"I think we've reached a dead end. There's no more tables down here," Martha said loudly to the men in her life. "We'd better turn around."

Clark glanced past his mother and froze. He saw Lois in the last booth trying to fend off some lowlife and seemed like she was succeeding. The loser jumped up from the booth and pushed past them all in his hasty retreat.

Martha looked at her son's face. He had the same terrified look on his face as he had earlier when they were talking about Lois. She followed the direction in which he was staring and her face dropped when she saw a beautiful woman in the booth. It wasn't hard to figure out who the young lady was from the look on her son's face and the description he had given them of Lois.

Even in the lowered lights, Martha could see signs of red-rimmed eyes. She edged past the table and saw that the only company she was keeping was a huge cutout poster of her son in his Superman garb. A couple of empty drink glasses and the remains of a box of chocolates lay scattered on the table. It wasn't hard to figure out that the girl's heart was broken in some way - all the signs were there.

She grabbed her son's arm and whispered fiercely to him. "Clark! What is going on with that poor girl? She looks like she's been put through the wringer and back."

"Mom, that's Lois. How'd you know it was her?"

"Mothers know everything. Haven't you figured that out yet? Clark, what's going on?"

"I don't know, Mom. She said she wasn't feeling well..."

"That's obvious. Go see what's wrong with her, your father and I will disappear. We'll catch up with you later."

Clark started to walk over to the booth, but paused suddenly as sirens filled his ears. If he could hear them through this noisy interior, something big must be up.

"No, not now," he groaned as he turned to his mother. "Mom, there are lots of sirens outside. I need to go..."

"Go. I'll take care of Lois. Here, give me your hat."

"What?"

"Trust me. I'll take care of her until you get back. But don't be too long." Martha said in an authoritative voice, then turned to her husband. "Jonathan, go buy me one of those Superman T-Shirts. I have a lot of work to do."

******