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Originally posted by Darth Michael:
/EW is overwhelmed by idea of producing a really long fanovella/ Oh, is *that* where this week's bout of writer's block came from? And here I thought it had something do with writing a pivotal scene which I've been thinking about since this story was a germ of an idea, mixed with my birthday coming up. BTW: I try not to think about how long this story will be by the end, I find it easier to breathe that way. Still an icky line to cross.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Oh, is *that* where this week's bout of writer's block came from?  Michael
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Originally posted by Darth Michael:
/sends Virginia years-supply of paper bags used for hyperventilation-breathing/ EW: <<eyes the bags suspiciously.>> Am I supposed to put it over my head? How will I be able to write then? Yes, I am blonde. What does that have to do with anything? I think there was story once where Lois and Clark both landed on Earth and got raised by the Kents. Or was that that they met as adults and *then* thought they were brother and sister. Hmm… I believe Queenie wrote something like this... ruling house, has wed brothers and sisters for 300 years. Also, it worked for the Pharaohs of Egypt.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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EW: <<eyes the bags suspiciously.>> Am I supposed to put it over my head? How will I be able to write then?
Yes, I am blonde. What does that have to do with anything? Also Michael
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Originally posted by Darth Michael:
Also <<laughing that EW would admit publicly to being blonde>> Yes, I knew that about the paper bag.  Just found a good excuse for a self-depreciation blonde joke.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Per several people's request that I re-work the scene in Miranda's shop, due to Clark and Lois's lack of reaction to finding Miranda's dead body... Here is the updated scene for the Archives: They looked around the small boutique and at many of the bottles of perfumes Miranda had on display for several minutes, and still no one came to answer the tinkling of the bells.
“We might as well poke around,” Lois hissed under her breath, in case someone really was in the back room. Perhaps Miranda was there, only hiding from them because she recognized them from her visit to the Daily Planet.
“Hello?” Clark called, pushing aside the beaded curtain, leading to the back room, as Lois went to check the bottles of perfume behind the register.
“Lois,” her partner called to her.
“What did you find?” she asked, peeking through the curtain.
Dangling from the rafters above the worktable was the blonde haired, flouncy shirted perfumer with a rope around her neck.
Lois gasped and turned away from the sight. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath so she wouldn’t be tempted to step into his arms for comfort as she had when they had discovered Dr. Platt’s dead body. Back under control, she turned around and faced Clark again, avoiding looking at Miranda as she did so.
“She’s cold,” Clark announced softly, a hitch of concern permeating his voice. He let go of Miranda’s ankle. “She’s been dead a while.”
“Terrific,” Lois grumbled, swallowing down the bile that naturally arose during these types of occasions. She forced herself to focus on the story. With Miranda’s death, there went their only lead. They might never find out why the woman had gone after the Daily Planet with such vengeance. Lois saw several familiar perfume bottles on the counter behind Clark. “Hey, isn’t that the bottle from the photo?” she asked, pointing. “Grab one, and we’ll have it checked out by Dr. Freidman at S.T.A.R. Labs to see if Miranda was indeed our culprit.”
Clark raised a disapproving eyebrow. “This is now a crime scene, Lois. The less we touch, the better.” I've also cut the Bet from the end of that scene and just mention it at the beginning of the next scene (with Lois being the instigator, this time): Monday morning, despite her waiting on hold, Clark walked up to Lois and dropped a faxed copy of Miranda’s autopsy report on her desk. “Murder. That’ll be five bucks, please.”
She snatched up the paper and quickly read it. Clark had been positive that Miranda’s death was a murder, and that the city’s favorite resident billionaire was to blame. His reasoning had something to do with the temperature of the store being colder than one would expect in February. Clark had hypothesized that the murderer had most likely lowered the thermostat to hide the true time of death. Lois had in turn bet him it would be ruled suicide by the cornor’s office.
“Evidence of multiple strangulation points and bruising consistent with an attack from another person,” she summarized, tossing the paper back at Clark. “But it also says that it was the rope that killed her, not the hand-to-hand strangulation. Murder was inconclusive. You didn’t win.”
“It shows that someone strangled her until she passed out and then put a noose around her neck and strung her up to die. That sounds like murder to me,” Clark retorted. I hope these fixes for the Archive version are acceptable to my readers. I apologize for taking so long in getting the rewrites done. Sometimes, my muse is a fickle friend. 
Last edited by VirginiaR; 12/05/14 01:27 PM. Reason: Correct typos
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Hi Virginia! Clark raised a disapproving eyebrow. “This is now a crime scene, Lois. The less we touch, the better.” And yet he left his DNA all over her cold dead body. Plus, he looks strong enough to hoist her up there and because of her his relationship to Lois got into jeopardy. I think we have quite a good motive. Should be enough to convict him by a jury of LexCorp employees (i.e. 12 guys from the pool of 50% of Metroplis' slave labor force) “Murder. That’ll be five bucks, please.” Clark! CLARK: What? I grew up in foster care. There you learn to grab money where you can. ![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/verschiedene/c050.gif) thermostate the true time But it also says that it was the rope, which killed her I'm a bit iffy about that fleck of dirt on the screen. “It shows that someone strangled her until she passed out and then put a noose around her neck and strung her up to die. That sounds like murder to me,” Clark retorted. No, that's called 'assisted suicide by third party'. What a trip from the past! Michael
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thermostate thermostat I don't distinctly remember the original versions, but I like these updated snippets.
"It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then...he shoots fire from the skies, and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to him." -Batman (in Superman/Batman #3 by Jeph Loeb)
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Darth Michael & Mrs. M: Thank you for your quick beta of this revision.  You know, I looked at that word, regarding that thing on the wall which controls temperature for a given room/set of rooms, and it looked wrong / off, but it didn't get flagged by the FireFox spell checker, so I didn't think about it.  Serves me right. Clark touching Miranda's ankle was in the original scene. Since Lois and Clark found the body (and called it in to cops), I'm sure Clark mentioned that he was wrong (LOIS: /cough/ 'Lunkheaded' is the correct term.) to have touched the body. What we learn later on is that all employees of the Daily Planet affected by her perfume were suspects in Miranda's death, but since Clark was never arrested for it, perhaps someone decided that he didn't have enough motive to have 'done her in'. (I mean what self-respecting policeman is going to give credence to any motive for a straight, non-married man to kill the woman who had made a beautiful woman... i.e. Lois .... drape herself all over him and offer himself to him repeatedly? Lois, on the other hand, has plenty of motive.) Thank you for caring enough to check out my revisions.  Should be enough to convict him by a jury of LexCorp employees (i.e. 12 guys from the pool of 50% of Metroplis' slave labor force) Perhaps more so... um... should later on, should those millions of people ever find themselves out of work. “Murder. That’ll be five bucks, please.” Clark! CLARK: What? I grew up in foster care. There you learn to grab money where you can. Yes, his moral structure isn't as tightly wound as canon Clark. No, that's called 'assisted suicide by third party'. Thank you, Mr. Bender. What a trip from the past!  I don't distinctly remember the original versions, but I like these updated snippets. Thank you. Mostly, I added in Lois's unsettled stomach and her and Clark's reaction to finding Miranda's body which was woefully absent in the first version. Plus, I deleted the part about Clark making a bet with Lois about Miranda being murdered before leaving the shop, because it was in poor taste.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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