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#92590 01/05/13 07:23 PM
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Kerth
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Corrina.

#92591 01/06/13 02:00 AM
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Very nice chapter. You show us Clark's aversion to human contact coupled with his grudging acceptance of Lois' ministrations - followed by his disappointment when she stops touching him - then you tell us about Diddi being Lois' almost-foster-adopted child, along with explaining her complicated marital status. Not only that, you let Lois tell Clark that there is love after heartbreak without having her shove the concept at him. She can't know all that he's been through, although she knows some things - plus she has some incorrect assumptions - so having her tell this tale now, under these circumstances, puts no pressure on Clark to make a decision now.

But I'd bet real interwebz that this comes up in his thought processes later.

It's nice to learn about Diddi's birth, even though it was a tragic time. And it appears from Lois' narrative that her marriage is one in name only, to provide a secure home for her son.

Yet still, even in all this gentle goodness, you tantalize us.

Lois lied? What a shock! Where is my faith in human nature going to be placed now?

I'm sure you're going to tease us with that information, just as Clark and Lois are going to tease each other with the deep, dark, intimate secrets of their lives. Lois is still hiding from the gun runners and she's still keeping one very important thing secret. Clark is hiding from Lana's betrayal and doesn't want to share it with Lois.

They're going to have to learn to trust each other. It will be a fairly long, drawn-out process that you're going to shoehorn into seven days of quarantine. They'll both have to learn to open their hearts to a new person.

Hmm, where have I read that theme before? Seems like it worked well then, too.

The tempo of the story will have to pick up soon, because there must be a resolution of the Lana/Tempus situation and of the Lois-hiding situation, but right now both the readers and the characters need to move slowly in order to experience all the wonder of trust slowly regained and the seeds of love being planted and nurtured. My only real complaint is that there are too many hours between postings. How's about you step on the gas pedal a little more? I doubt your readers would complain.

I know I wouldn't.


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- Stephen King, from On Writing
#92592 01/06/13 09:24 AM
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Corrina,

You really has me going. After the first few chapters I came to the conclusion that there had to be an alternate explanation. Sure enough this is one of the scenarios I thought would fit. Thank you. That takes a load off.

This is developing nicely. Clark is slowly loosening up and Lois is becoming interested.

Only time will tell.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
#92593 01/06/13 10:26 AM
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Nice, very nice. A little bonding, a little discomfort, Clark realizes that leaving now would not actually be smart, and Lois explains how she came to adopt Diddi. Wonder what the explanation of the extended quarantine is? The in-universe explanation, I mean, not the plot reason <g>

Looking forward to more,

PJ

#92594 01/06/13 04:00 PM
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Clark wanted to ask her how she had gotten so skilled, but he was wary of the easy rapport that had gathered around them while their concentration had been centred on a twine-bound buffalo bladder.
frown he is still holding out on fully opening up. OK, if he was not, it would be hard to believe, but still.

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He nodded, startled by how natural it would have felt to smile at their shared memory.
Yes, he is making progess, even if he is still resisting it.

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"I'm going down to the river to bathe," she announced.

"OK," Clark said.

She didn't move away. "Coming?"
This seems a bit forward, asking him to come with her when she goes and bathes.

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"Now is the best time," Lois said. "There won't be any problems with animals, and the temperature will drop really quickly once the sun goes behind the trees."
I guess it makes sense, but it still seems really forward. I guess you can bathe modestly, sortof, maybe, probably. Still, I can see why Clark is resisting. Well, OK, he is at the point of resisting everything.

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"I'm a medicine woman. I've seen a naked man before."
This is really not going to make him want to go. So much for "modesty". I guess in some cultures it is actually normal for people to bathe in fairly public places with little or no clothing, but since Clark is not from such a culture, I can see why he is resitant. OK, his main reason to resist is still the Lana-induced pain, but it makes sense he would resist.

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"If you're serious about leaving, you need to learn as much as you can. Like when it's safe to enter the river. What to look for to ensure water is OK to drink." As she was talking, Lois moved into the hut, coming out with two towels. She offered him one and grinned. "Perhaps I should have mentioned already - there's a partition. One side for women; one side for men. Your modesty won't be compromised."
Now I see Lois' plan. Present the situation as worse than it is.

Non-Lana burned Clark: How is it an improvement that I won't get to see Lois bathing.

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"Think man-sized piranha crossed with an angry tiger."
Well, small man sized. Tigerfish get to about 110 pounds.

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Clark nodded and turned away, looking up to the top of the trees and trying to dull his human-strength hearing.
Is this because it has not yet recovered to super-strength?

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Clark quickly slipped the remains of his jeans
Hmm, it is probably good Lois did not point out that there is not much of his body she has not already seen.

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The scourge of doubt was eroding his resolve.
hyper he has procratinated leaving. That will make it easier to do so again.

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"He said to tell you the quarantine was seven days. He said he wouldn't change his mind."
Matymbou is a very distant husband.

Lois let loose a sigh of frustration. "How's Diddi?"

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"So he's like you? From the same tribe?"
Well, probably at some level this is true, but saying yes would imply a connection that is not there. Although, if she knew the truth, she might have actually said yes. Hmm.

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"I don't know," Lois said. "But if he decides to go home, I won't be going with him."
frown , although at some level I should only believe this applies if Clark leaves soon. If he stays a while and then wants to leave, Lois may change her mind.

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Kent stepped out of the hut as Lois arrived back at the campfire with the tray. She smiled at him, trying to dissolve all traces of her lingering annoyance. "Is there a problem?" he asked.

"Not really."
Lois: How could being with Kent longer be a problem?

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Because she'd been worried that he would assume her indignation was due to being forced to spend extra time with him.
Wise move, that is the last thing she needs him to think.

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She'd told Romaric there would be no trouble, but was she sure Kent hadn't come from the gun runners?
I don't see how that could even make sense.

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But despite all that, she would continue to be guarded about her former life. She wouldn't reveal details such as her full name, her former location, her job.
frown it might help an awful lot.

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She had no way of knowing how her disappearance had been reported. Did every American know the name 'Lois Lane'? Had they been caught up in the mystery of her disappearance? Or had it - like so many other stories - been the victim of a shadowy authority that seemed to have the power to silence the press?
I really hope that Lois and Clark go back to try and fix things. However I guess that will not be for a very long time.

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Kent had given no indication he recognised her name or her story.
Hmm, I would find it hard to believe he knew nothing of her. Perry must have said something.

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"I was. But not because of what Romaric told me. I was annoyed because I didn't get any reasonable explanation."
clap this is by far the best way to describe things. It makes it clear that she does not mind being with Kent.

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"My son," Lois said with evident pride and affection."
dance she admits his existence.

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"I wasn't married to Diddi's father."
So she just admitted to having an illegitimate child?

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"And you were waiting?" Clark said. "Praying for a different outcome?"

"Not me," Lois said. "Adeline. Diddi's birth mother."
Hmm, so she is not Diddi's mother. Hmm, which makes me wonder why she phrased the above line the way she did.

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"He was for two days," Lois said with a smile that tugged poignant yearning through Clark's heart. "But since then, I have been his mother, and he will always be my son. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone, and I can't imagine life without him."
Since she adopted Diddi at the age of two days, I get to say "I was right". Her "teaching him English" is effectively the same as if he were her own birth child, well unless you assume English is imbibed with one's mother's milk.


John Pack Lambert
#92595 01/06/13 04:02 PM
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Well, now we better understand Romaric's connection with Lois.

One question though. If they are so isoltated from everyone else, why do they use French names?


John Pack Lambert
#92596 01/06/13 04:05 PM
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Originally posted by Terry Leatherwood:
The tempo of the story will have to pick up soon, because there must be a resolution of the Lana/Tempus situation and of the Lois-hiding situation, but right now both the readers and the characters need to move slowly in order to experience all the wonder of trust slowly regained and the seeds of love being planted and nurtured. My only real complaint is that there are too many hours between postings. How's about you step on the gas pedal a little more? I doubt your readers would complain.
What is this about the tempo of the story picking up. I figured it would be a 100+ part epic. No need for it to move faster.


John Pack Lambert
#92597 01/06/13 04:53 PM
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I got to catch up with parts 7-9 this evening - yay, me! This continues to be an enjoyable story and an intriguing universe. goofy (Yeah, that's cheating, but it's true. He said exactly what I wanted to. smile )

I'm really enjoying all the details that are coming out and how much we're learning about Lois's pre-Bangala life. I also love that she's stated in no uncertain terms that, even if she could return to her previous life, she wouldn't. I was hoping that was going to be the case -- I think you made excellent points in your earlier comments that the world Lois has left behind is very different from the canon-L&C's world, and that this is not "our" Lois. It's been clear to me from the beginning of this story that Lois is where she wants to be. And she seems comfortable and at peace, which is exactly what Clark deserves to be, too. I'm sure you have many twists and turns in mind for us/them, but put me in the camp that thinks Bengala sounds like a peaceful, wonderful, soothing place, and I hope that L&C ultimately make it their forever home. smile

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Except for one detail - the one thing she had vowed she would never tell anyone.
Hee. So now we know what Lois will share with Clark near the end of the story to prove that she loves and trusts him like no one else. lol

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"He was for two days," Lois said with a smile that tugged poignant yearning through Clark's heart. "But since then, I have been his mother, and he will always be my son. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone, and I can't imagine life without him."
Happy sigh. That's lovely, Corrina, just lovely. And I know I'm not the only one who thought of Martha Kent's love for her son when I read this. Wonderful parallel.

More, please. smile

Kathy

#92598 01/06/13 06:20 PM
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smile1

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The tempo of the story will have to pick up soon, because there must be a resolution of the Lana/Tempus situation and of the Lois-hiding situation, but right now both the readers and the characters need to move slowly in order to experience all the wonder of trust slowly regained and the seeds of love being planted and nurtured. My only real complaint is that there are too many hours between postings.
Sorry, Terry, I'm going to have to disagree with you on this first point. The pace seems just perfect for the slow healing process of the grief that Clark has suffered both at the hands of Tempus and that of Lana (especially Lana). It fits into the slow pace and peacefullness of the Bangala lifestyle. A fast-moving story set here, would feel out of place indeed. (I also agree with John that I wouldn't mind another 100+ part story from Female Hawk... [Linked Image]) On Terry's second point, yes, [Linked Image] GET TO WRITING! Post more often! <<cough, cough>> I mean... grovel Please!


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
#92599 01/07/13 09:22 AM
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I also find it interesting that Romeric and his family didn't object to Lois adopting his nephew after his brother and (almost) sister-in-law died.
Actually, I think all we were told was that Lois was not married to Didi's father. There was no indication that Didi's parents were other than married to each other.


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#92600 01/07/13 09:57 AM
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Originally posted by John Lambert:
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I also find it interesting that Romeric and his family didn't object to Lois adopting his nephew after his brother and (almost) sister-in-law died.
Actually, I think all we were told was that Lois was not married to Didi's father. There was no indication that Didi's parents were other than married to each other.
You're right, John. I read that wrong when Lois said:

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A man can decide he wants to make a mobembo before embarking on a major change in his life - before getting married or as a means of marking the end of his childhood and the beginning of adulthood.
For some reason, I latched on to the "getting married" part and missed Lois saying:

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"Yes," Lois said. "He had never made a mobembo before, but with impending fatherhood, he felt he wanted to go."
I was thinking that was pretty progressive of the tribe to allow premarital sex. wallbash I should have known better. <<watches as anthropology minor goes up in flames>>


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
#92601 01/08/13 08:10 AM
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I love your details. Did you do research on Bangalese people? You seem to know a lot. smile

Is the mobembo like a walkabout? And is that even a real thing? I learned about it from the movie 'Australia,' but you can´t always trust Hollywood. wink

As to the development of L&C´s relationship, I´m curious to see if Clark will really try to leave. Hopefully, he´ll feel obligated to stay those extra two days, so Lois won´t be alone.

And we finally learned how Lois became a mother! Makes sense, and can´t wait to see how all this turns out.

Another excellent chapter! dance


Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way. wink
#92602 01/08/13 02:13 PM
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I was very touched by Lois's story of her adopted son. I have an adopted son also. I know how much he is loved. He is my world. I loved the intimacy between Lois and Clark when they shared the bath. Some barrier was changed with that game and you can see it in their thinking about each other. This story, like your others, really touches on so many emotions and details. Beautifully done. More soon. Laura


Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”

Caroline's "Stardust"
#92603 01/09/13 03:26 PM
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Hey, Virginia, don't apologize for disagreeing with me. All I really meant was that there will be, at some point far, far down the line, a moment where the pace of the story will pick up and we'll all get excited and hiss at the bad guys (Tempus and Lana) and root for the good guys (we know who they are!) and post big long "Noooooooo!!!!!" when she throws a cliffie at us. For now, I agree, the tempo should be slow and easy, very "Hakuna matata" between the two of them.

Just remember to buckle your seat belt when the story dives into one of those sharp curves. Having read some of Corinna's stuff before, it might even turn us completely upside down.

But it'll be a fun ride either way.


Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.

- Stephen King, from On Writing
#92604 01/09/13 03:33 PM
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You know, it strikes me that maybe the reason Lois is keeping that part about how she joined the tribe secret is because she knows that no one would believe that a time-traveling sociopath dumped her there. If that's true, then once Clark and Lois open up enough to compare their whole life stories, they're going to realize that they're both victims.

And I can't imagine Lois taking that news lying down. She's sure to goad Clark into helping her bring Tempus to justice, since he's responsible for both of their situations. And Lana will get her just desserts (gravel pie with a cow pattie on top) along the way.

This, of course, assumes that I'm not totally crazy. And I'm not crazy! My mother had me tested when I was a kid.

Not totally, anyway.


Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.

- Stephen King, from On Writing
#92605 01/09/13 05:14 PM
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Terry's last comment just gave me an idea.

So far I have been assuming that the Bangala and Lois and Clark are all in about 1997, or there abouts.

However, since Tempus is a dimension-hopping time traveler, there is not anything that makes it so he had to dump Clark's body in the present. If he also captured and dumped Lois, it is possible that they are in some other time.

Hmm, it seems unlikely, but it might have happened. I guess we shall see.


John Pack Lambert
#92606 01/10/13 08:00 AM
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Time for me to start reading this fic! Love what I scanned!


Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
#92607 01/11/13 10:11 PM
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Terry I often wish I could write more quick-moving stories, but the slow-moving ones seem to hunt me down and find me. I'm glad you think the pace is working at this stage.

Ken Clark is slowly loosening up. I think a more realistic time-frame would be months, but that would drive everyone crazy - especially me!

Pam

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Wonder what the explanation of the extended quarantine is? The in-universe explanation, I mean, not the plot reason <g>
LOL. Good point - because I could have simply made it seven days from the start.

John Lois has been living with the Bangala for five years. During that time, I imagine she has realised that the practicalities of life have to be dealt with. Such as getting clean. And she's probably still a little cautious that if she left him alone, he might be gone when she gets back. Therefore, they go together.

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Well, small man sized. Tigerfish get to about 110 pounds.
Ah ... yes. Although I haven't laboured the point (one comment about how tall Clark is going to be compared with Bangala men), Lois's adopted tribe are what we used to call pygmies.

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Hmm, how long ago was it that Lana told him she was pregnant by another man?
It's really hard to get time in perspective when reading a story over many weeks.

Lana walked out on Clark.
That night, Tempus captured him.
He was flown over Africa and dumped.
Lois found him during the early afternoon and took him to the hut.
This is the next day.
So, allowing for time zone differences, he's had one day of wallowing in Metropolis, one day of having rock cut out of him, and one day of playing soccer. laugh

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One question though. If they are so isoltated from everyone else, why do they use French names?
Making up a whole raft of names is hard work. So, I used a wonderful site called Kiva.org which facilitates loans to people in developing nations.

I discovered that people in the Congo had very French sounding names, whereas people in the DRC had names that sounded more African to me. Therefore, although according to alt-canon, Lois was lost in the Congo, I've used mainly DRC names. Every name I've used is the name of a real person from either the Congo or the DRC.

Kathy

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Hee. So now we know what Lois will share with Clark near the end of the story to prove that she loves and trusts him like no one else.
cool

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Happy sigh. That's lovely, Corrina, just lovely. And I know I'm not the only one who thought of Martha Kent's love for her son when I read this. Wonderful parallel.
I realise Clark doesn't usually need extra incentive to fall in love with Lois, but this Clark is Lana-damaged, so I thought if I gave Lois an adopted son, coupled with the fact that this Clark lost his mom when he was ten ... he wouldn't have a chance of resisting. laugh

Virginia

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Did she not ask, because she knew in his terse mood he would have refused the massage?
That was my thinking.

Thanks for the enthusiasm, but this won't be a 100-parter. There will be a sequel, though.

Diddi's biological parents were married.

MM

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Did you do research on Bangalese people? You seem to know a lot.
I have never been to this part of the world, which makes setting a story there a precarious business. My get-out clause is that this is the alt-world. As for research, I did some, but what I couldn't find out, I made up!

A 'walkabout' is a real thing. As I understand it, it is something Aboriginal people feel compelled to do at various points in their lives. 'Mobembo' means 'journey' in Lingala, but applying it to these people is my invention. I was thinking of it as a self-imposed test.

Laura
I'm glad you enjoyed this part of Lois's story.

Terry You're not totally crazy. In fact, in a roundabout way, you're close to the mark.

John It's still the mid-nineties. But alt-world Africa might have developed a little more slowly than our Africa.

Morgana Hope you enjoy!

Thanks for the comments and speculation, everyone.

Corrina.

#92608 01/12/13 07:26 AM
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Wonderful part, as always. smile1


KateB
#92609 01/12/13 09:42 AM
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I am surprised that Corinna told us that there has been no time travel involved in getting to the location involved. I was thinking she would leave it as a possiblity until later, to let us work with off the wall ideas.

OK, so it is 3 days since Clark learned Lana had cheated on him, and totally rejected him. He is doing amazingly well for it having been so little time.


John Pack Lambert
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