Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Jerome's Wedding (1/1)

I wish to say at the outset that writing this story was a challenge to me, and the writing style won't be easy to read. I honestly don't know how Todd might think. I based Todd's 'voice' on the self-descriptions I have read of people with autism who are capable of describing their own thought processes, as well as on what is known regarding which parts of speech are harder to master. For example, I did not use any pronouns or question words, and I used as few function words as I could get away with while retaining coherence. Finally, I made everything as concrete and visual as possible, since Temple Grandin has stated that she thinks in pictures rather than in words, and that she has to translate into English whenever she speaks or writes. Her informal research has indicated that many other people on the spectrum are also visual thinkers.

I hope no one takes offense at the story. I was not trying to make fun of Todd or of others with cognitive disabilities; rather, this story is my best effort at depicting how I imagine Todd (and, for that matter, my own son) might think.

As always, all feedback welcomed.

Joy,
Lynn

You took the plunge and tried it. I'm glad to see everyone happy (despite Lois's tears) and enjoyed the day. The images came across well for the Reader and portrayed the scene well. I could actually see the scene unfolding in front of me.

I noticed that Jenny took Jerome's ring, but he didn't take hers. Is that because he's following in Dad's footsteps and doesn't want anyone to see a superhero with a wedding ring, or did Todd just not notice Jenny giving a ring to his brother? Or am I just reading too much into this vignette?

A very nice Happily Ever After. Hugs to you!

I personally wouldn't mind more vignettes along the lines of "Not So Great Escape" involving this family.

Wow. What a different style of story "voice" - and it worked so well. So simplistic, yet so engaging. Nice!

Aw, this was so sweet.

Virginia, a good question! To be honest, I hadn't thought about the second ring, but I would agree that if there had been one, Todd simply wouldn't have noticed it. His perceptions are rather idiosyncratic and very self-centered. (The latter term I am using purely in a descriptive, not in a pejorative, sense.) He paid attention to the one ring because he had been in charge of it for the first part of the ceremony. If there had been a second ring, it had no relevance to him.

I have succeeded in my goal of writing one story from the POV of each family member, but I am certainly open to writing more stories in this series, should my muse or my son provide me with fodder for more. I've become rather fond of both brothers.

Deadly Chakram, thank you for letting me know that the story's voice worked for you. I was hoping it wouldn't be too painful to plough through, or too reminiscent of the old readers. (Who here remembers the old Dick and Jane books?) I must admit that one of the reasons this story is so short (even by my standards) is that I was afraid that no one would want to wade through the writing for very long.

Queen of the Capes, I'm glad you liked it.

Joy,
Lynn

I liked this story. It converyed what was going on, and I thought the voice was reasonable.

Lynn, I thought it was spot on. I could easily follow the action. I thought that Todd's confusion over Lois's emotional state was completely appropriate and his concern for her was touching. I also liked how matter-of-factly she handled it: "I'm okay, Todd. Go back to Jerome." Simple, no big deal. I completely got the connection to the ring and his question about why Jerome wanted it and then didn't seem to want it. I got the impression that other people's actions often seemed odd to Todd, so he was used to other people acting strangely. He seemed to take it in stride.

Well done, sweet and touching!

Happy

John, thank you for leaving feedback. I'm glad that the voice seemed appropriate to you and that the story was intelligible despite the unusual voice.

HappyGirl, Your feedback made my day. You describe perfectly what I was aiming to convey: That Todd does have a curiosity about those around him, that he has at least a rudimentary theory of mind, that he is often clueless about the motivations of other people, and that confusion is such a normal part of his life that although he might not particularly like it, he has learned to live with it.

Compared to some of the things Lois has had to put up with (e.g., see "The Not-So-Great Escape"), Todd's 'abandoning his post' during the wedding really was relatively mundane; Lois knew that a low-key approach was the best and most efficient way to get back him where he needed to be with a minimum of fuss.

Thanks again to the two of you and to everyone else who has left feedback. I was definitely straying out of my comfort zone with this story, and I am thrilled to see that the risk did pay off, at least for some readers.

Joy,
Lynn