Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Louis and Clara (3/4)

LINKS: Table of Contents

Thanks everyone for reading, and everybody who's commented so far, especially those who have engaged in discussion and helped me brainstorm and improve the story.

Constructive criticism is welcome. I only ask that you provide an example of ways I can fix what you think is wrong. :3

Reading now but printing it so won't be able to leave FDK right away.

Another great part. The bit with the barbeque cop dismissing Clara (where he respected Clark) was quite jarring, but spot on.

Woah! That's quite forward of you, Mr. Lane.

Overprotective much? But at least he cares

<< sing-songy >> Somebody's jealous!!!

Here's hoping that Clara is telling the truth.

Squee!!!

Scout's honor!

I like how protective Louis is, especially when Clara can't tell him that she doesn't actually need to be protected. I also like Clara's budding friendship with Lucy. With Clara and Lucy hanging out, Louis can tell himself that he's just looking after Clara like he does for Lucy - that he's treating her like a little sister. That way, he can keep putting his arms around her and lie to himself about his motivation. I wouldn't be surprised, though, if Clara is a year older than him, just like Clark is a year older than Lois.

I read this yesterday but I wanted to re-read Part 2 because I thought that some of these things were already covered there, but these I realized I must have been confusing this with another Pilot based story... I read so many stories over the last week prepping for the Kerths they are all starting to blend together. I can totally see her hiding behind her glasses (in more ways than one).

Nah, Louis is just being a sexist pig. I love how Louis says it like he's doing this to stave of being inconvenienced in the future. Gee, thanks, Louis.

LEX: Clara Kent, why yes. I do happen to have room in my penthouse, why don't you come and keep my bed warm... um... stay with me?

Are you sure, you didn't mean for Lucy to say "monsters"?

Reap what ye sow, big fellow. You walked right into that one.



Wow, for someone with super speed she sure takes her own sweet time.

This sounds a lot like Sam.

Wonder what Louis would think about HIS cookies being brought to Luthor? (Being the male equivalent of Lois, I'm assuming that he would believe that all cookies belonged to him, right? )

CLARA: Look, you sexist pig. Many women go around in the city after 9 without dying. You're my partner, not my babysitter. Stop treating me as a child.

Why do I have the strange feeling that Clara wouldn't be too keen on a partnership with Louis if he keeps treating her like this?

Lou? Lou was the calm one? Lou? Why don't I sense him punching some guy's lights out in the future because of his 'baby sister's BFF' Clara?

So, where's Lucy at this hour of the A.M.? I like this imagery though.

Why can I just picture Louis saying (in ASU) "I love you, Clara!" followed by a nice disclaimer "... like a sister."? That would be a fun episode rewrite. Is it on your list? Clara waking up in a hole naked, Louis berating an amnesiac Clara for letting the city take advantage of her, and insisting that she stay with him (and Lucy, if she's still around) until she regains her memories.

Wow, that seems to have a lot worse implications than it would for Clark. And a much more extensive medical examination once the police picked her up.

Oh wow, printing! Looking forward to seeing what you think. :3

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :3

mrsMxyzptlk:

I think she probably is. I'm writing Clara as having the Kryptonian bond going on with Lou, so right now she does prefer Lou, even if she can't seem to explain to herself why, when Lex was much nicer to her. But I think once Lou and Clara's relationship stabilizes, it'll be more obvious why she's pretty much in love with Lou.

Thanks! That's what I thought. I did toy with the idea of Lou not caring and Clara still being the protective one, but then when I thought about it, Lois was really protective of Lucy anyway, and growing up as Lou he probably would be even more protective and that kind of behavior would probably spill over to any woman he liked because of the way men are socialized.

And yeah, Clara is a year older!

Thanks for the detailed feedback! :3

A) I always saw the presentation as happening at the end of the ball, but the ball being a bit time lapsed because it's a tv show, so I just didn't specify how long they were there. Would it be better if I did?

B)I actually did think about that, but I didn't want Clara to break into her apartment to get her stuff, so I decided Cat probably specifically beat them there because she wants the scoop about Lex Luthor and she wants to gossip about Lou. Maybe if I add something like this at the beginning of the scene?

'Surprisingly, Cat was lying in wait.

"Cat? I thought you'd still be at the ball to get interviews for Cat's Corner."

Cat smiled. "Honey, you danced with Lex Luthor. You are Cat's Corner." '

I think L&C left together in this because they came together in this. 1. Lou isn't going to just abandon her in the night, because he is actually concerned about making sure his date gets home okay. And 2. He still doesn't really trust her, so he wants to keep his eye on her to make sure she doesn't get the jump on the Lex Luthor interview. But since this section is from Clara's POV, we don't get Lou's motivations.

As for Clara standing his behavior: I don't think she will for much longer after this episode, but I think growing up female would be even harder for Clara than growing up male was for Clark, because Clark can still be somewhat strong and etc. without people batting an eye, but Clara is small and female so people expect her to be weaker. I think she would be even more worried about not standing out, so she would put up with a lot more than a non-super woman would. She's just not sure where to draw the line - she needs to fit in, so she should be happy that Lou is escorting her. She should be grateful of the offer of a safer place to stay. Growing up in Kansas with her parents would have taught her to expect a certain amount of chivalrous behavior, and appreciate it. But she maybe lets it go a bit far because she's so worried about people wondering why she insists she'll be fine going out on her own and etc.

I don't think she'll let Lou keep her from going places and doing things she really needs to do, and I think they'll have the usual L&C arguments about Lou at least needing to take Clara as backup when he goes somewhere dangerous, but with the twist that Lou doesn't think Clara could do much to protect him, but I see Clara as letting him have his way when it doesn't really matter because she doesn't want anyone to be suspicious of just why Clara Kent isn't afraid to go into Suicide Slum after dark, and why nothing ever actually seems to happen to her.

Oh, he totally would! XD

LOL YES. All the cookies are belong to Lou. It would be even worse if Clara tried to give away HIS brownies! XD

I think this is a rare instance. I watched this section of the Pilot a few times, trying to get a handle on how the scene would go, and when Clark gets angry, Lois puts a hand on his shoulder with this sort of "I know you're upset, but chill dude" look on her face, so that's how I played it. But yeah, in the future I can totally see Lou punching out for example... Ralph. Or Lex. Or Jack. Maybe not Jack since he's a kid... Oh, and his dad. Yes, I think if/when Clara meets Sam, he'd probably make a pass at her, and Lou WOULD NOT approve.

She's already asleep! :p I didn't think I needed to mention it? >_>

Oh yes, that episode is definitely happening, and pretty much that scene is happening too! But wait til you see where Clara ends up spending some of her time, and who with... *OMINOUS MUSIC*

Thanks for the detailed feedback! It really does help and inspire me to keep going! :3

Yeah it does. That's why Clara is going to be extra shaken up when a man claiming to be her fiance picks her up from the police station.... *MORE OMINOUS MUSIC*

Oh, and in case anyone wants to see: There is a list of the episodes I plan on covering at the bottom of the TOC page.

So what do they think of this proposal? Is Clara ticked off that Luthor thought it would only be of interest to Louis?

If she's staying where Clark stayed, that sounds like the wrong name, "hole in the wall" would be more accurate.

That would be fun if she revealed her powers, but I guess it is a little early.

Louis:You've been staying there. You're braver than I thought.

Clara:No with my big, buff boyfriend. Of course by myself.

Clara:Not unless they use kryptonite bullets.

Of course Clara does not know about kryptonite.

It's not the going there that is scary, but his going back to the taxi all alone.

Louis:Well, I did a story on out of town visitors being kidnapped from this very place, so yes, I think ninjas are likely.

This leads me to wonder if Clara has a middle name. Also, what would her kryptonian name be?



Clara:I knew he liked me, maybe a little, but he already wants to take me to bed. This is a bit fast.

Clara:Well, maybe that is not what he meant.

Methinks he doth protest too much.

On the rare occasions she is not out partying all night.

Clara:So you want to wait until we are married to share a bed.

That will be easy to find. Since probably there is nowhere where Clara is in danger.

Louis: She really thought I wanted to take her to bed, and now she is depressed about not doing it. I need to think out my wording first.

No more cooking breakfast with her eyes.

[Qyuote]and she had promised her parents she would fly out soon…[/Quote]

Clara:Mom, I can't come. I am staying with Louis.

Martha:Wonderful news. So when are you two getting married.

Clara:Mom, it's not like that.

Jonathan: So you want me to sit back and watch my daughter live in sin.

Lou:Well, if you put it that way, maybe you could stay in my room.

Clara:

Lou:Ah, no, no, no. That is not what I meant. I will sleep on the sofa, and you can have my room.

Clara:Oh goody. Just settle down then, I will even let you have your pick on which side of the bed you want.

Louis:Clara, what are you wearing, some sort of new, super-weight fabric?

Clara:Step one to becoming Mrs. Clara Lane is complete, now we must start on step two.

Sorry for not leaving more feedback this time, but I wanted to let you know how much I loved this chapter. Another brilliant twist of the pilot, with a couple of funny scenes, too.

I especially loved how Lou thinks of getting tinier towels extra for Clara.

Oh, and I'm totally looking forward to Lou's reaction to Superwoman. He'll probably be the one to call her the "Maid of Steel". (Will Clara threaten to not give any quotes, interviews or anything to the papers calling her that?

Once again, you show us surprising little twists that nevertheless make perfect sense! I'm loving this so far, but I admit to being afraid: is Clara going to fall for Luthor? Will she be able to see through him? I hope she realizes what he is before doing anything stupid, but if this is following the same path as the show... Oooooh, this could go either way, and the suspense in the meantime is unbearable!

(Still looking forward to COTOC: "Superwoman fathered my baby!" or "Superwoman is my baby-mama! No, really!" )

Superwoman left her baby son on my doorstep.

He wonders why he brought a woman he thinks of as a "supermodel" to his apartment?

Now she is just taking advantage of him.

Clara:Louis insisted on carrying them.

Clara:It would be more fun if he showed me to the later.

This is a wonderful line.

Clara:Nah, Louis already pulled out of the passionate kiss, so there is no point anymore.

Lucy:Is that what you call the women you bring to bed now.

Clara:To seduce your brother.

Lucy: for overly specific denials.

Headline next day in the Shanghai Post:Floating women buys food at downtown restraunt.

See, he really does like you Clara.

I'm surprised he did not say "you read Chinese?"

That would be a fun reveal, Louis realizes Clara is not killed by the electricity.

more touching.

hand holding.

Won't Luch notice her missing.

Ok, corrected a few typos! Now for belated comment replies!

Originally posted by John Lambert:

Ahahahaha, this totally cracked me up. XD

Ahhh, you shall see! Clara's middle name is revealed in Part IV, which will be posted momentarily, and her Kryptonian name will come out in 'Strange Visitor' as I'm going to be combining some events from several episodes for that one.

Thank you. :33

I thought so too!

I thought so! It's hard to walk the like with Lou. We all have to face that m!Lois would probably be at least a little chauvinistic, but at the same time I don't want him to be unlikable.

Nah, she sleeps like the dead. >_>

Thanks so much for your lovely feedback! I love seeing your little commentaries, they crack me up XD

Not at all! Any feedback is great. ^_^

I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter! And I had a lot of fun writing the initial appearance of Superwoman. Here's hoping that you guys will like my take on her. :3

And yeah, 'Superwoman' is a mouthful, but she is definitely NOT going to stand for being called 'Supergirl.'

I think what's likely to happen is that she's going to wind up telling Lou her Kryptonian name for when they're in private, because Superwoman is a mouthful. (She'll be finding out her Kryptonian name much sooner than Clark, because I'm altering the timeline a little.)

Thanks again for the lovely feedback!

Well, I can't tell you what's going to happen with Lex, because that will ruin the suspense! :p You'll just have to wait and see XD

As of right now, I'm not planning on rewriting any episodes past S1, but never say never! If I ever do 'A Chip Off the Old Clark' I'll probably go the route of the woman claiming that Superwoman impregnated her with alien technology or something? >_>

Thanks for the feedback!

Did Cat also plant some protection in there. For 'later'?

To be fair, Clark probably never let Lois out alone in the middle of the evening, either.

He did!

Well… her Ma did give her approval to be that kind of girl if she liked. And Clara has already shown that she’s got ‘em in a twist fir Lou.

Lou’s into *that*?

So, Lou’s not going to be the one cooking the meals, then?

Well, she could tell them that she’s bunking with Lou…
Martha:
Jonathan:

I did however option three…

She’s got heavy bones? She’s got adamantium plated to her skeleton?

Jealous, much?

So long as she pays in kind?





Oooooh!

She forgot the ninjas.

Awwww…
Clara: Lou, I do love you. I mean, like a brother.

Awwww

Is he also going to hold open the doors for her?
Lou: Who do I look like? Some hack from Nowheresville?
Clark: Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?

But I’m guessing he wouldn’t mind her mitts touching *other* things of his.

:rotlfol: Umm… I hope I’m not quoting the entire story there…

Mhmm…a ‘minute’… But it’s good camouflage. That way, nobody would assume that she’s also the Maid of Steel, given how long she takes to get dressed.

Maybe a townhouse on Hyperion Avenue? A place where she can live with her reporter husband?

Yeah… that’s so going to go without a sexual harassment suit.
PERRY: I’m sorry, Ms. Kent, but it is simply not appropriate for you to defile my top investigative reporter in the storage room while a major news crisis is going on out here.

Maybe if he did it slowly, shrink them by a centimeter each day? Then it’s like cooking lobster and Clara won’t know she’s naked until it’s too late? Funny, how one would never mention things like this with the X and Ys in their proper places? Maybe it’s because Clark is just such a darn nice guy and Lois is the naughty one?

So, is Clara going to cradle Lou like Clark carries Lois?
Clara: Only if I also want to remove certain body parts of his at the same time.

That’s going to leave a stain.

Clara:

Dress up like a strumpet and try to help those poor, strong firemen over there put out that ghastly fire?

You know, I never got why he wouldn’t just send up his own spacestation from a private launching pad.

Yuck.



Hmm… as for her Kryptonian name… I’m guessing for Kara-El.

Hmm... Lex? He going to find Clara naked?

Can’t wait for you to spin this tale further, Pris, because there is just one part left right now!

Michael