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“I want to make a valuable contribution to Metropolis and the world. Being mother to the next generation of Supers would be considered a valuable contribution to the world. TEMPUS: “I want to win a Pulitzer Prize before I’m thirty,” she added, causing him to smile. “Okay, buster, what do you want?” So, just 3 more years. I guess, he should keep his secret a couple more years, just to be on the safe side… When he set down his glass and turned around, he found Lois standing not two feet away. She’s like a hyena after she’s smelled blood. “I want all those things you mentioned, Lois,” he said vaguely. A Pulitzer before he’s thirty? And since he has one year less… even if she’s from well-off doctor’s family ‘a’ missing. I just found the missing ‘a’ from before. Since he was already chest deep in the quicksand, he said, “And I want that woman to be you.” Michael
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Darth Michael: Well, only if you consider Ancient History to be stuff already on the Archives. Thanks this extra dose of chocolate. CLARK: Gees. Give me a minute. Can I kiss her first? Probably someone important like a bat or a cat or a blonde ADA. Nope. Nope. Nope. Huh. I never expected her to show up. Really, even after I told you this was another Prankster rewrite? (btw, you’d think it’s easier to find SFW images of harpies when you google ‘harpy’) LOIS: Who are you calling a harpy? He goes for the straight-up naked version? CLARK: Well, ... um... sometimes, she still has a raincoat on. LOIS: Who said that? I didn't say that. CLARK: /looks at hand in air and slowly lowers it/ /Ex-Fiancee back from the dead/ Nope, too soon. With I-have-no-friends-Lane, yeah, it does. CLARK: Hey, after seeing her in that harem costume, I made a vow to always be Lois's friend. Mostly always true. Except for Star Wars. You would *not* want to introduce your little ones to Star Wars via Episode I. Better wait till they’re 8 or 9 and start with Episode IV. Funny story: Back then, I had no idea how my dad knew to also tape ESB one week after SW aired. I mean, the program guide didn’t even link them and it was just a 1-inch long column space reserved for it. Boy, was I surprised. I don't think E1-3 are suitable for kids at all. Actually, since I don't own E1-3 (nor plan on ever owning them), my kids have only seen and loved E4-6 (original version without added special FX.) But with the LW movies, it's best to watch them in order. Kyle Griffin visited her in her bedroom? Worse. CLARK: Lex visited your bedroom? LOIS: He's dead, remember? CLARK: /thinks about this/ Still not seeing how that isn't worse. She certainly feels right at home in his kitchen. CLARK: I bet she’s very good in the kitchen. [means something other than cooking] Well, I figure after being Clark's partner for a year and half, she's made herself at home. CLARK: Yeah, Clark. Making love with me would totally tick off mommy dearest! Let's do it! CLARK: That's the one.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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-- Continuation of Response to Michael's FDK LOIS: /crying/ No. /crying some more/ I told him to bugger off right before he offed himself. /crying/ Ooops. Too much garlic on the pizza? When did Clark become a vampire? Oh, wait. That's right, in Twilight. My bad. WRONG CLARK: See? See! I *told* you she’s a…she’s a… ANOTHER LOIS: A *what*? WRONG CLARK: Um... complicated woman? LEX: What? Just because I prefer her blonde, in a 20-y/o body and not working as an investigative journalist doesn’t mean I’d want another woman instead of her. LOIS: /gives Lex Linda King's email address/ That’s why she’s doing so much fitness workouts. CLARK: Running from perps. That's not what I meant! Great. First Mel, now Hugh. She’s really into movie stars, isn’t she? She's looking for someone with Hugh's charm but Mel's body. Hush, Lois. He’s just trying to figure out how to gently tell you that he’s in love with Mayson and please don’t take it personally, it’s totally him and not you. CLARK: Um... I love you, too... like a sister. /points at growth reports of farm products from 1966/ LexCorp Press Release: Our Kryptonite fertilizer will make everything grow big and strong. Check out this farmboy! ER: /suggests that Clark has gone forward in time and already met and bedded Ms. Drake/ LOIS: Say, what? Actually, lightning is a tad more powerful than a downed powerline. Although, not as constant. Which is why he mentioned all three. “Lois, you need to talk to your mother, and tell her how you feel. You can’t hide out at my apartment, or tell me you love me to convince me to let you stay…” ER: /disagrees with Clark on the best way to woo a girl/ LOIS: What 'girl'? LOIS: And that would be an issue because…? [already knowing the answer] CLARK: Because it wouldn't be? Awww… And she’s not getting mad. /which surprises ER/ Pre-TOGOM So, when Lois shows up the next morning and tells her mother that she spent the night at Clark’s and btw, this here is Clark…? ELLEN: Oh, you're so right, honey. He's a much better man than Lex Luthor. /touches Clark's chest/ Is it all muscle? Most exclusive callgirl in town! Capture as marriage. LEX: Same diff. Actually, it’s not against the law in New Troy to get closer without a ring and a marriage license. They only require that you don’t do it in a public place. CLARK: Um... but I'm saving myself for marriage. LOIS: Well, bye Kent. Nice knowing you! /takes out mobile phone/ Jimmy? You available? Being mother to the next generation of Supers would be considered a valuable contribution to the world. TEMPUS: [disagrees] LOIS: I meant in my career. So, just 3 more years. I guess, he should keep his secret a couple more years, just to be on the safe side… Oh my. It’s really been a while, huh? You went MIA for a while this past spring. That was really cute! And short. Almost a haiku. I know. I know. My almost completed new UW story is a whopping 2 parts. Thanks for dropping by!
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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I just noticed that somehow I missed commenting on the story.
It was fun how both Lois and Clark were convinced that the other was joking. Also sad that Clark thought Lois had loved Luthor.
I have to say Lois's mothers "you could be a rich, billionaire widow" line was horrible.
John Pack Lambert
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John: Another surprise FDK! Makes my day. I just noticed that somehow I missed commenting on the story. It's back from early May. The boards were pretty busy back then. It was fun how both Lois and Clark were convinced that the other was joking. They were joking... at times. Also sad that Clark thought Lois had loved Luthor. It was the only logical reason that he could come up with that Lois would choose Luthor over himself. I have to say Lois's mothers "you could be a rich, billionaire widow" line was horrible. That's just Ellen trying to find the silver lining to Lois's awful wedding day, knowing her daughter never loved Lex. Not that I've ever met a mother who would ever say such a thing to their daughter (that I know of), but one often sees them in stories and on TV.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Well, only if you consider Ancient History to be stuff already on the Archives. I think I still have some stories left over from last year’s Kerths… Thanks this extra dose of chocolate. You’re welcome! quote:Lois getting pregnant?
CLARK: Gees. Give me a minute. Can I kiss her first? LEX: You don’t kiss your breed mare. That’s what concubines are for. LOIS: And he wonders why he’s gone splat on the concrete. quote:Huh. I never expected her to show up.
Really, even after I told you this was another Prankster rewrite? I had already started reading before that. And I forgot again, too… quote: (btw, you’d think it’s easier to find SFW images of harpies when you google ‘harpy’)
LOIS: Who are you calling a harpy? CLARK: Well, tweedles things ... um... sometimes, she still has a raincoat on. quote: Too much garlic on the pizza?
When did Clark become a vampire? Oh, wait. That's right, in Twilight. My bad. I was just thinking regular odors, but yeah, whatever works. quote:WRONG CLARK: See? See! I *told* you she’s a…she’s a… ANOTHER LOIS: A *what*? WRONG CLARK: Um... complicated woman? LEX: /holds up owner’s manual that looks oddly like a bundle of 100-dollar bills/ quote:LEX: What? Just because I prefer her blonde, in a 20-y/o body and not working as an investigative journalist doesn’t mean I’d want another woman instead of her.
LOIS: /gives Lex Linda King's email address/ LEX: Isn’t my wife the greatest?
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quote:That’s why she’s doing so much fitness workouts. CLARK: Running from perps.
That's not what I meant! Yeah. /maintains own statement is still funnier/ quote:Great. First Mel, now Hugh. She’s really into movie stars, isn’t she?
She's looking for someone with Hugh's charm but Mel's body. ASABI: I can help! CLARK: Um... I love you, too... like a sister. LOIS: So…let’s do it like the hicks? quote:/points at growth reports of farm products from 1966/
LexCorp Press Release: Our Kryptonite fertilizer will make everything grow big and strong. Check out this farmboy! quote:ER: /suggests that Clark has gone forward in time and already met and bedded Ms. Drake/
LOIS: Say, what? Oops? quote:LOIS: And that would be an issue because…? [already knowing the answer]
CLARK: Because it wouldn't be? See? That’s why I’m the one with the 3 Kerth Awards. quote:So, when Lois shows up the next morning and tells her mother that she spent the night at Clark’s and btw, this here is Clark…?
ELLEN: Oh, you're so right, honey. He's a much better man than Lex Luthor. /touches Clark's chest/ Is it all muscle? Another two-volume story! And you haven’t even finished yet your current trilogy! Michael
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Originally posted by Darth Michael: I think I still have some stories left over from last year’s Kerths… My. Game of Thrones really has put you behind. LEX: You don’t kiss your breed mare. That’s what concubines are for. LOIS: And he wonders why he’s gone splat on the concrete. CLARK: Can't she be both? Although, isn’t it fun how they would be partial to nookie but it falls flat because the Superman wimps out? CLARK: I'm saving myself for marriage! LOIS: Why? Is there something un-super about you that you don't want me to find out about? He’s just in there for the benefits. CLARK: Yep. Being in Lois's company is benefit enough. Well, GL expressively made Ep1 appealing to 6/y-olds. Or he tried. I think he succeeded. Actually, it’s been popular with kids even below the age of 6. My son would probably like it, but it was so horrendous I don't know if I could sit through it again. Awww…Supermom protecting them from the ugliness in the world? Yeah. I don't let them listen to music produced after 1995 either. I prefer that they can name every Beatle than lipsink to Justin Beeber. You mean, Zombie-Lex visiting her in the bedroom (scarier) or Vampire-Lex visiting his Minha in the bedroom (more disturbing). LOIS: Zombie Lex or Vampire Lex vs. my mother? It's a toss up. Nope. LOIS: And that’s why we love him. CLARK: /shocked that Lois knows the "L" word/ LOIS: Erm… I mean like a slightly under-developed kid-brother. Fell for it again, didn't he? That didn’t refer to Lois. It just felt right. Ooops. Thanks. LOIS: [Smiley] Yeah, Clark. Making love with me would totally tick off mommy dearest! Let's do it! CLARK: <totally excited by the sudden turn of events> Is this a trap? GENERAL ACKBAR: No. Now Linda is Lex's wife. CLARK: I don't know, Lois. I still think you could be arrested for aiding and abetting a murder. LINDA:/dressed in black/ How was I supposed to know he'd fall to his death when I pushed him? ER: That’s why she’s doing so much fitness workouts. CLARK: Running from perps.
EW: That's not what I meant! ER: Yeah. /maintains own statement is still funnier/ I'm sorry that I cannot deny that as well. EW: She's looking for someone with Hugh's charm but Mel's body. ASABI: I can help! MEL & HUGH: LOIS: Kissing. Bedding. Whatever. CLARK: <wants to repeat the date he had with Rachel back when he was an alien in highschool> LOIS: No, Clark. Bowling doesn't count as 'whatever'. ER: You can lead the doofus to the water, but you can’t make him dip his tongue in, can you? CLARK: Oh, I'm sorry, Lois. You wanted to go swimming? LOIS: Well, I wanted to get wet... CLARK: LOIS: That's NOT what I meant! Another two-volume story! And you haven’t even finished yet your current trilogy! No. No. Just a two parter. I'm still not sure about it. Part 1 and Part 2 feel so completely off (and different). It might need to age longer on my hard drive. /sigh/
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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quote:Originally posted by Darth Michael: I think I still have some stories left over from last year’s Kerths…
My. Game of Thrones really has put you behind. Sadly, no. GoT is just an hour a week for two and a half months. Okay, two hours with re-watching… Work on the other hand CLARK: Can't she be both? R. DeNiro’s Godfather from Analyze This: She kisses my children with that mouth. CLARK: I don’t think we should ask criminals for advice on our love life. LUCY: But they do know their way around a pair of handcuffs. CLARK: Or your sister. LOIS: Why? Is there something un-super about you that you don't want me to find out about? He’s got control issues and starts to…float when he gets uber-excited? CLARK: Yep. Being in Lois's company is benefit enough. LOIS: So, platonic? CLARK: Platonic quote: Nope. LOIS: And that’s why we love him. CLARK: /shocked that Lois knows the "L" word/ LOIS: Erm… I mean like a slightly under-developed kid-brother.
Fell for it again, didn't he? He’s too easy. WRONG CLARK: Just like her. Oh, dear. Have I made another Lois is a whore joke? LOIS: <does not agree with EW and ER that those are the funniest> Michael
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Originally posted by Darth Michael: EW: My. Game of Thrones really has put you behind. ER: Sadly, no. GoT is just an hour a week for two and a half months. Okay, two hours with re-watching… Work on the other hand Perhaps a kindly written note from Santa suggesting that the elves need at least 80+ hours off during the week, other than during the time of 10pm and 6am? CLARK: Can't she be both? R. DeNiro’s Godfather from Analyze This: She kisses my children with that mouth. CLARK: I don’t think we should ask criminals for advice on our love life. LUCY: But they do know their way around a pair of handcuffs. CLARK: Or your sister. Just my luck.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Perhaps a kindly written note from Santa suggesting that the elves need at least 80+ hours off during the week, other than during the time of 10pm and 6am? And the drone, that will do the work and raise the kids: /i.e. the Lord raised by peasant farmers on that strange green/blue planet/
CLARK: [Grumble] Just my luck. RIGHT LOIS with WRONG CLARK: Does he also take walk-ins? Michael
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Originally posted by Darth Michael: EW: Perhaps a kindly written note from Santa suggesting that the elves need at least 80+ hours off during the week, other than during the time of 10pm and 6am? ER: Actually, you only get 56 hours a week between 10pm and 6am. LOIS: INCLUDING the hours between 10-6. 24x7= 168 hours. 40 hour work week (at least, here in the States), gives us 128 hours of non-work time, minus 56 sleep hours, leaves... 72 hours of leisure time or roughly 10 hours a day or 8 hours a day M-F, and 32 hours on your two days off. (Sure doesn't feel like that much, does it?) Hmmmm. That doesn't add up right, though. Well, I guess we'll have to cut the work week by a hour and 15 minutes each day to make the numbers crunch accurately... ELVES: Union! Union! Union! SANTA: /naughty list/ Lois Lane... LOIS: Excuse me! Criminals don't know their way around me! That's Cat! CAT: Do I look like I’m dating a billionaire playboy from across the bay? BRUCE: I don't know. Put on this leather cat-suit and I'll see, Cinderella. WRONG CLARK: Just like her.
I'm sorry, Lois from Wrong Clark is *easy*? WRONG CLARK: She jumped into bed with Luthor even before she broke up with me... LOIS: I'm not going to dignify that with a response. LEX: We slept together? When? LEX-C!
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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ELVES: Union! Union! Union! SANTA: /naughty list/ Lois Lane... Michael
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Originally posted by Darth Michael: LOIS: I'm not going to dignify that with a response. LEX: We slept together? When? LEX-C! [Mad] LEX-C: You *said* to treat her like you would. So I got me some Revenge and some Whammy-Be-Gone and had some fun. LEX: Revenge doesn't work on her. I've seen her when she was under, and nada. LEX-C: /reminds Lex who's DNA is running through his veins/ LEX: Now, I'm torn between being proud and being furious. Also, aren't we having fun with characters from another one of my stories?
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
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Wonderful story! I love the twist on The Prankster (I've always loved that scene between them), and how Lois is more scared of her mom than of the death threats from the psychotic prankster. Poor Clark, he had no way of knowing exactly what he was getting himself into when he fell for her! I love the conversation and the ease it flowed between them -- but boy, it was pretty heart-wrenching when Clark told her that he was sure Luthor had known she loved him. To think he's had that in his head the whole time -- I love that it was brought out here, and shows how there's more than one reason for his reluctance to have his heart broken again after those events! It was also sad how he thought she was only saying all this to let her stay over, though I did laugh out loud when he had to stop and think, 'wait, she'll find out my secret if she stays here that long!' LOL! A bit late, there, but I love it because it shows how clearly he puts her needs above his own. Such a great jaw-dropping moment when he finally gave in and told her what he wanted and that he wanted it all with her. It was equal parts romantic and tragic because of how much those two have their wires crossed, but yay! for the ending. Love the phrasing of her winning his heart by promising that Superman would never come between them -- very skillful bit of wordplay there! Such a fun story -- really a treat to read!
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AntiKryptonite: Thank you for awe-inspiring comments. I graciously accept them. Thank you. This mean a lot coming from such a fantastic writer as yourself. I love the twist on The Prankster (I've always loved that scene between them), and how Lois is more scared of her mom than of the death threats from the psychotic prankster. This one was inspired by a vacation trip to my mom's. Poor Clark, he had no way of knowing exactly what he was getting himself into when he fell for her! Hee-Hee. No, he didn't. I love the conversation and the ease it flowed between them -- but boy, it was pretty heart-wrenching when Clark told her that he was sure Luthor had known she loved him. To think he's had that in his head the whole time -- I love that it was brought out here, and shows how there's more than one reason for his reluctance to have his heart broken again after those events! Well, she had broken his heart once, so he's even more reluctant to offer it to her again, even if his feelings have increased. It was also sad how he thought she was only saying all this to let her stay over, though I did laugh out loud when he had to stop and think, 'wait, she'll find out my secret if she stays here that long!' LOL! A bit late, there, but I love it because it shows how clearly he puts her needs above his own. Perry and Jimmy can stay for a week and nobody would be the wiser, but Lois Lane stay over? What was he thinking? Him putting her needs before his own has always been one of my favorite things about Clark. Such a great jaw-dropping moment when he finally gave in and told her what he wanted and that he wanted it all with her. It was equal parts romantic and tragic because of how much those two have their wires crossed, but yay! for the ending. Love the phrasing of her winning his heart by promising that Superman would never come between them -- very skillful bit of wordplay there! Thank you. I love it when Clark says one thing, but means another. That's always fun to write... challenging but fun. Such a fun story -- really a treat to read! Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hope your reappearance on our boards means you will grace us with another one of your beautiful stories. /hint, hint/
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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