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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Thank you to everyone who's reading this crossover -- I hope you're all enjoying!
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
 But all is forgiven now! This chapter was great, I'm still enjoying it and I like how Lois almost tried to weasel her way out of the deal at the end but decided Clark was worth it.  Very good and very in character on all counts (Rumple's attention to detail in particular) as well as Clark's reluctance at actually threatening Belle. Fifth(sixth) part, please? Soon? 
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823 |
I like the negotiations. But the instant was gone almost as soon as it began, and he was once more composed and brisk. “So,” he said, “I agree not to tell your secret, and you--”
“Rumple,” Belle interrupted, a warning tone silvering her voice.
He met her gaze, and then he did roll his eyes and sigh. “Fine. I agree not to tell *or* relay through any other means the secret behind Superman and Clark Kent, as well as Lois Lane. Happy?” In fairy tales, it's very important to be very specific with what you're bargaining for. Traditionally the fairies do not have souls. They will abide by their bargains but they will eagerly take advantage of any loophole or omission. (Sort of like a deal with the devil.) I see that all parties involved are being very careful about what they promise here. Nicely done.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,724 Likes: 1
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,724 Likes: 1 |
Actually, Lois considered, this all wasn’t nearly as far-fetched as it probably should have been. I love how you remind us that each universe has it's own improbable events. This had me laughing: with a name like Rumplestiltskin, there weren’t many *good* nicknames. Nice reminder that even though Superman has powers, how he chooses to use them impacts who he is. More than that, he’d made the only choice that Clark Kent--farmboy from Smallville, naïve world traveler, devoted son, steadfast friend, and good man--could ever make. He wasn’t a killer and even trying to use Belle as a bargaining chip had probably made him uncomfortable. I love Lois explaining to Belle and Rumple how Superman needs Clark. Very touching. I wonder how Rumple is going to get out of this deal. Joan
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,804 Likes: 30
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,804 Likes: 30 |
Finally! Its high time I commented on a beautifully crafted story! Lois had been in binds before. She’d been tied up by every kind of thug on the planet, put into precarious positions by several different masterminds, manhandled by guards and soldiers and police officers of every sort, but she had never, during all those times of danger, felt as vulnerable and helpless as she did now. For Lois to admit such a thing is a really scary way to start this part! But it gives me the reader an idea of what our favorite duo are up against. Not to mention completely captivating my attention. “That sounds,” the man who might or might not be Rumplestiltskin said very slowly, “like you’re proposing a deal.” Lois, Clark, do not make a deal with this creature unless you have a STRONG upper hand. “Your lives in return,” Clark replied, and his eyes glowed with red heat, twin beams of scarlet fire that reaped a trail of destruction down the center of the pawnshop floor. Glass shattered and flew outward, but a gust of Clark’s breath kept it all safely away from Lois, and when she managed a look up through squinted eyes and windblown hair, she saw a blue shimmer standing like a sphere around Gold and Belle, protecting them from the sparkling shards of glass scattering through the room, the sparks flying upward from gouges in the wooden floors, the old junk--busted up lanterns and beer steins with dwarf illustrations and a glass mobile of unicorns and a hundred other objects Lois couldn’t make out--swirling about in a miniature hurricane caused by the man standing in its center. Oh my, Clark's back is definitely up against the wall... “New deal,” he proposed, his voice cutting through the quiet like diamonds through steel. His long fingers completely encapsulated the small white…teacup? Lois frowned, but sure enough, it was a teacup in his hands, white with a few gold and blue accents along the edging. “You agree to two deals with us, and I *don’t* break this cup.” Bargaining chip. The negotiations between them and Mr. Gold were interesting. If memory serves me correctly, he always created a deal where he was the winner, so Clark did a really good job. Lois' speech about Clark needing Superman and Superman needing Clark was a master stroke. It made their opponents understand how important the secret was and cemented their relationship as well. So she met his gaze, and she smiled at him, and she said, “Deal.”
Because he was one secret she didn’t regret. Lois give up the Pulitzer? Now that is true love. When is the next installment? 
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Thanks, Mouserocks -- Lois trying to avoid agreeing to the deal was one of the funnest parts to write. It wasn't originally in my mental outline of the scene, but I got such a strong mental image of Lois's looking-innocent-but-I'm-really-guilty looks that I had to put it in!  The negotiations were the hardest parts, IolantheAlias, and one of the reasons it took so incredibly long to write this chapter, so I'm very glad they turned out! Rumplestiltskin is INCREDIBLY tricky when it comes to the wording of a deal, and I wanted Clark and Lois to be smart enough to realize to tread very carefully! Ooh, love how you put that, scifiJoan -- how Superman chooses to use his powers impacts all of us! It's something I'm fascinated by and try to explore a little bit in each of my L&C stories, so thanks for pointing it out! Thanks, Morgana!  The chipped cup is incredibly important to Rumplestiltskin, so aside from Belle, it's probably the only bargaining chip L&C could have found against him! And yeah, Lois setting aside a story for Clark is the epitome of self-sacrifice for her! Thanks for the feedback, everyone!
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
Lois was having an incredibly hard time *not* believing in fairytales and magic <Reminds Lois that she's dating an alien, if that helps with the belief in the unbelievable> Not that Lois was jealous or anything, but Clark was holding Belle awfully tight, and she definitely lived up to her namesake--not that Lois really believed she was supposed to be the beauty from the fairytale, of course, because that would be ridiculous.  It was one thing to babble aloud, quite another to do it in her own mind. Martha *does* know how to control her boy! Something white. Something fragile. Chip!  “The town line,” Gold interrupted. Yup, he can't guarantee anything past that point. “Well, with your speed, Mr. Kent,” Gold lifted his left hand to gesture to Clark, “all you’d have to do to fulfill the terms of the bargain would be to zip yourself and Ms. Lane across the town line. You’d then, under the terms of *your* proposed deal, be able to return here, with a clear conscience, and threaten us as much as you like. So, the deal must state that you agree to leave us unharmed *forever*.” For all he knows about Superman, it really isn't much, is it? Otherwise, he should know Clark would never do that. “You use these magical abilities of yours to help people?” Aww, she's cute! She wanted him to know, without a doubt, that she loved him. I'm surprised Rumple hasn't bargained for their hair to make more True Love potions, actually... not unless he can be Clark, because Clark’s the one who gives Superman that hope And Clark's a hero in his own right too...fighting injustice and helping people as a reporter, whenever possible. “Fine. I agree not to tell *or* relay through any other means the secret behind Superman and Clark Kent, as well as Lois Lane. Happy?” a big deal that would be sure to garner tons of attention. Or time on a therapist's couch...  Still loving this and can't wait to read the wrap-up!
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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