Clark pinned his eyes closed, determined to appear to be sleeping when Lois came into the hut.
A few minutes later, she moved past him to check on her son. Then, she slipped into her own bed.
She didn't fall asleep quickly, but Clark was still awake long after her breathing had settled into the cadence of deep rest.
He had been so bound up in keeping secrets from Lois that it had never occurred to him she might be keeping something from him.
Now that he thought about it, he knew very little of her life before the Bangala. He knew her family hadn't been close. He knew she'd had some disastrous relationships with men. He knew she had been disenchanted with modern American life and all its violence and greed. He knew she had left her home country and come to the Congo, somehow getting involved with bad guys.
But she'd never given him any explanation for why she was in the Congo.
He didn't even know her former surname … her home town … her job.
Who had she been? What had she done? Why had she come to Africa? How had she become involved with gun runners?
And what was the secret she had pledged to Romaric that she would keep forever?
Part 26
Consciousness struck, snapping Lois's eyes open. Kent's bed was empty. She thrust her head into the doorway and saw him walking towards the amenities.
She sank back into the warmth, took a couple of deep breaths to calm a heart that had roared into overdrive, and tried to re-assemble her thoughts.
Last night, lying in bed awaiting sleep had felt uncannily reminiscent of many nights in her apartment in Metropolis. Fragments of information had whirled around her mind, stubbornly refusing to fit together to afford the answers that floated just out of reach.
There was something Kent wasn't telling her. It was something Lois now believed pre-dated his marriage to Lana. Something that clogged his life with uncertainty. Something that had intensified the anguish of Lana's betrayal.
Something that kept him prisoner, stealing his peace of mind.
It had only been a week, she reminded herself.
What had she been doing a week ago?
The usual things - collecting herbs and roots with Diddi, making concoctions and salves with Sylva, sharing an evening cup of tea with Matymbou, treating the ailments of the Bangala people, writing her story.
In one sense, her life had changed dramatically - she'd met the man she'd been waiting to meet since her earliest awareness of love and marriage.
But Kent's life …
Everything he valued had been stripped away, exposing deep-seated insecurities that probably stemmed back to being orphaned twice in his childhood.
The promise of a child must have meant the world to him.
One week.
Why had Kent accepted so easily that Lana's child wasn't his? When Lois had questioned him, he'd said Lana was sure and he believed her.
Why had he trusted her? Why hadn't he waited for the child to be born and demanded a paternity test? Why had he accepted the word of a woman who had been living a duplicitous life for months?
Perhaps they hadn't been sleeping together around the time of conception.
No. If that were the case, Kent wouldn't have initially believed the baby could be his.
So … when Lana had announced her pregnancy, Kent had believed he was the father. A couple of months later, when Lana had told him her lover was the father, Kent had accepted that as truth and removed himself from Lana and the baby's life.
Why would any man do that? Why had Kent done that?
A rush of revelation swept over her.
Kent had doubts about his ability to father a child.
Initially, he had believed a miracle had happened. Later, he'd been hit with the cruel truth.
Lana must have known, too, because although she'd been sleeping with two men, she was confident which one had fathered her child.
Perhaps Kent and Lana had tried for a child for a long time.
Perhaps Lana had given up.
Perhaps that was why she'd gone to someone else.
Poor Kent.
It explained so much. His lack of self-confidence. His veiled comments about not being what she needed. His desperate wish that he could be different. His unwillingness to give details about the time between Lana leaving him and Lois finding him.
The swell of Lois's sympathy birthed another overwhelming surge of love.
She wanted to give Kent everything he desired. A wife. A child. A family. Somewhere to belong.
It didn't matter that they would never have a child of their own. They would have Diddi, and they would have each other.
And the sad truth was that orphaned children were a reality of living in a harsh environment where medical treatment was restricted to herbal potions.
If a child needed parents, Matymbou would be likely to look favourably on Lois and Kent.
Lois shuffled up the bed and looked out through the doorway. Kent had settled next to the fire, staring into it, his face a transparent mask that couldn't conceal his pain.
Lois ached to go to him. To hold him. To restore him. To give back everything that had been torn away through death and deceit.
How could she tell him that his inability to father a child didn't diminish him one jot in her eyes? That she longed for his touch? Longed to join with him? Longed to be his lover?
Perhaps Sylva had been right. Perhaps gingko was the answer.
Lois huffed out a sigh of frustration. Gingko wasn't the answer. Time wasn't, either. Communication was her only option. Perhaps she could steer the conversation to Diddi and from there, slip in an assertion that she didn't want another child.
Perhaps that would make Kent realise that she wanted him, not a sperm donor.
If she'd desperately wanted another child, she would have married Romaric years ago.
Lois rose from her bed and ran her comb through her hair. "Good morning, Kent," she called brightly as she crossed the yard to the amenities. "Is the coffee nearly ready?"
"Not yet. The water's still heating."
She waved. "OK. I'll be there soon."
~|^|~
Clark waited beside the fire, feeling the weight of passing minutes press against him. Very soon, Lois would come and join him by the fire.
And then, they would have to find a way through the impasse that had formed in the wake of their almost kiss and his feeble ineptitude in the face of Matymbou's questions.
Lois and Romaric had a secret.
Clark felt a twinge of irrational jealousy at being excluded from something Lois shared with another man, but to his surprise, the dewy aura of mystery surrounding her and her life increased his attraction and sharpened his desire to know more about her.
She appeared from behind the amenities screen and came towards him. She looked beautiful in the soft morning light; he loved the way her hair danced on her shoulders.
If he were human, perhaps she would be his wife by now.
Perhaps this first coffee of the morning would be shared in the cosy familiarity of having spent the night together.
Clark couldn't allow himself to think about that - he had to work out how he was going to field the questions he had dodged last night.
As she sat on the nearby rock, Clark decided his best chance to mount an adequate defence was to take control of the conversation from the start. "Did you go into the village last night?" he asked, although he had been acutely aware of her absence every second she'd been gone.
"Yes."
"How is Rolle? And Sylva?"
"I think Rolle is very close to having her baby. Sylva's ankle is still sore, but it should heal well."
"Can Sylva walk?"
"Not without pain."
"Will they call you when Rolle goes into labour?"
"Yes," Lois said. "Sylva insisted that I learn to birth babies very early in my education as a medicine woman. She has always looked ahead to a time when she would be less able, and she told me that if I couldn't birth them successfully, I would eventually run out of patients."
Her comment had carried a light-hearted lilt, but a closer look into her face revealed a film of anxiety. "Are you worried about Rolle and her baby?" Clark asked.
"I'm always worried," Lois admitted. "We have herbal teas to help alleviate the pain and encourage relaxation, but if something goes wrong …"
"I've never thought about it too much, but I guess I always assumed that women who lived in traditional cultures would give birth easily."
"Sometimes, they do," Lois said. "But this is Rolle's first child."
Wanting to do whatever he could to soothe Lois's uneasiness, Clark said, "Do you think … Would it be best if we were to move to the village? Then you'd be close by when Rolle needs you."
"The village is only a few minutes away," Lois said. Clark could feel her eyes boring into him, potent with questions. "Would you like to move to the village? Do you feel ready?"
"I don't think there's anything to be gained from delaying it any longer."
"You didn't answer my question."
"Yes, I'm ready." He didn't know if he was ready, but it had to be faced eventually and he was a master at pretending.
"There are some things we need to decide before going back to the village."
"You don't think Matymbou will want us back yet?"
"There won't be any problems with Matymbou. He said we could go back whenever we want to."
"He extended the quarantine by two days."
"That wasn't because he doesn't want you to join the Bangala."
Clark had his doubts. "If he had medical concerns, why did he allow Diddi to join us?"
"I don't know," Lois admitted.
"Did you ask him yesterday?"
"No."
"It looks as if he knew I didn't pose a threat of disease, but he still wanted to prolong the time before I joined the village," Clark said, realising he sounded petulant, but feeling a degree of satisfaction in voicing his misgivings.
Lois looked at him for a long moment, contemplating his words.
Suddenly, she jumped from the rock. "Oh, my goodness," she muttered as she ran through the gate and out of sight.
Clark stared at the ricocheting gate.
It seemed likely she was going to the village, probably to speak with Matymbou.
Why?
To berate him on his treatment of the visitor? Had she finally accepted what Clark had suspected from the beginning? That he wasn't really welcome in the Bangala? And that her husband would prefer it if the stranger just faded away?
~|^|~
Matymbou Laka-Lois, chief of the Bangala, patted his newly shaved cheeks, his thoughts jumping from the events of yesterday to the plans for the day ahead. He wanted to visit Rolle and Kito as they awaited the birth of their child. He had promised Lioli he would take her to the river bend to see if the mud turtle eggs had hatched. And he was eager to have morning coffee with Sylva. Lois had been in the older woman's hut last night. He had heard the low drone of their voices as he'd done his final patrol of the village for the night.
His day would start with breakfast. Gislane had promised him fried hog with plover eggs. As they lingered over coffee, they would talk about the meals she was planning and then move on to more general topics.
Breakfast was his favourite time of the day.
Although, he enjoyed evenings, too. He'd missed Lois's daily visits to discuss life over a cup of tea.
As Matymbou combed his hair, a whirlwind stormed into his hut in the form of his wife.
She came to an abrupt halt in front of him, her eyes flashing.
Matymbou took a deep breath, wondering if something had happened in the quarantine area that meant he was back in trouble for yesterday's misunderstanding with the mondele.
"Do you love Gislane?" Lois said, her gaze fixed and demanding nothing less than the truth.
Matymbou choked. Recovered. Smiled. "Good morning, Lois," he said.
"Matty?" Her voice had softened. "Do you want to be with Gislane?"
"Lois, we are married. We -"
"That's why you extended the quarantine, isn't it? You were hoping I would come to love Kent. That's why you wouldn't let Diddi come at first - you didn't want him to get in the way. But after Diddi saw the hog, you sent him to join us because you knew I would be worried about him and you didn't want anything to take my mind off the handsome white stranger. You -"
"Lois." Matymbou complemented his reconciliatory tone with a light touch to her arm. "I promised you I would be your husband until you found the man you really wanted to be with."
She shrugged off his touch. "How long have you wanted to be with Gislane?"
"Lois, I -"
"How long?"
Asked directly, there was no backing away. "A while."
"A few months? A year? Two years?"
"About a year," he conceded.
"Matty!" Lois clutched his arm. "Why didn't you say something? Why didn't you tell me how you felt? I would have gladly given you to Gislane. I want you to be happy. And Gislane … she is one of my dearest friends. I couldn't be happier for you."
"Lois, if I'd asked you to give me to Gislane, you would have been alone."
She stared at him with blank bewilderment. "That doesn't matter."
"You would have been Lois Moko. A single woman."
"I was a single woman when I came here."
"But after being married, particularly to the chief, there would be dishonour in being alone."
"Matty, we both know our marriage has never been that sort of love."
"Lois, if I had gone to Gislane, the people would have believed I found you wanting as a wife. They would believe I preferred her to you."
"You could make a public announcement. You could tell them I was a good wife, but you have fallen in love with Gislane."
"A man with a good wife doesn't fall in love with another woman."
"You're the chief," Lois said. "If you tell them that we will remain good friends, they will believe you."
"What is that saying in your language? Actions talk more than words? If I were to marry Gislane, you would suffer discredit. I would never do that to you."
"So when Kent landed on Bangala land, you thought -"
"Yes. I have prayed much that God would provide a man for you - a man you could love with that fiery heart of yours. When Romaric told me you had found a stranger - a man of your own tribe - I knew God had provided. Then Romaric told me you had kissed the mondele, and I thought …"
"You thought your waiting was over?"
"We agreed yesterday that we will both wait a little longer."
"No," Lois said decisively. "You have been waiting to be with a woman you love since Kabibi died. You are not going to wait any longer."
"The mondele has stated his feelings for you? He is ready for me to give you to him?"
"No. He isn't ready. But I am going to give you to Gislane today."
"Lois, that is very foolhardy. People will murmur about you."
"I don't care." Her thumb rubbed his arm with affection. "I don't want to be married to you anymore, Matymbou Laka-Lois," she said. "Today, I want to dissolve our pledge. I will give you to any woman you choose."
"Lois …" But his protest carried little impetus. He had lost … as he had in most disagreements with his wife.
"Arrange the ceremony," she said. "Tell Gislane. We'll do it this morning."
"A single ceremony? Or two?"
"Just one. Kent and I need more time to decide what we want." Lois's arms came around her husband's neck, and she held him close for a long moment. "You are one of my best friends, Matty," she whispered. "Thank you for being exactly the husband I needed."
Matymbou's arms tightened around the white woman who would always hold a special place in his heart. "Nalingi yo, Lois. Always."
"I love you, too, Matty." Drawing back, she added, "I hope you and Gislane bring each other great happiness.
"I am a man much blessed," he said. "To love two wonderful women and to have a dear friend who came from so far away. That is more than any man deserves."
Lois squeezed his hand. "Go and ask Gislane to be your wife."
"Yes, Lois," he said obediently.
She grinned and turned, running from his hut.
Matymbou finished combing his hair. Then, with his heart bursting with joy and trembling with anticipation, he went in search of Gislane.
~|^|~
Lois strayed a few yards from the worn path and leaned against the big, friendly trunk of the trumpet tree, hoping the serenity of the African forest would permeate her inner commotion.
She wasn't sure if Matymbou's predictions about the social ramifications would prove true, but right now, that was the least of her concerns.
How would Kent react to the news that she was about to become a single woman?
Would he feel compelled to marry her?
She couldn't let him be coerced into something before he'd had the time to decide if it was what he really wanted. A week ago, he had been married to another woman. Legally, he was still married.
Lois had no intention of ever returning to the country of her birth, but she and Kent were Americans. They had been raised to believe that re-marriage was only possible after death or divorce.
Kent still had so many issues to work through before he would be ready for another marriage.
His inability to father a child.
His lingering loyalty to Lana. His respect for the vows he made to her.
His stubborn refusal to believe that his life could take a turn for the better.
Lois couldn't allow him to feel pressured. She had to take the decision from him. She had to make it clear that marriage wasn't an option for them now.
It might well kill her, but she would wait.
Lois chuckled grimly.
She'd barely given one thought to the intimacies between a man and a woman in more than five years. Now, she felt famished.
She wanted Kent. She wanted him whole and healed.
She wanted him as uncontrollably in love with her as she was with him. Kent … just a little bit out of control and ravishingly happy about it.
That was an exciting thought.
An exciting thought would drive her to craziness if she allowed it residence in her mind.
Kent had suggested they move back into the village, and as Lois thought about it now, she realised it was a good idea.
They needed time and space. He needed to re-establish his life.
She continued along the path and came to Tsumbu, who was carving a piece of wood into a large spoon. "Good morning, Tsumbu."
"I just took in your breakfast," he said.
"Thanks. We're leaving quarantine today."
"It's safe?"
"Yes. Totally safe."
"The mondele is staying with Bangala?"
"Yes. Would it be all right if he shared your hut?"
"Yes." Tsumbu laid down his work and rose from the rock. "I will get a bed from Clyde."
"Thank you, Tsumbu. If you can't find a spare mattress, take the one from the quarantine area."
He nodded and walked away.
Lois let herself into the quarantine area, feeling a sense of wistfulness that a short, but very significant, season of her life was ending. She had enjoyed being alone with Kent and Diddi.
They were sitting together around the fire, eating breakfast.
"Maman!" Diddi called. "Hurry up. Don't let your fried hog get cold."
She marched over to them, smiled 'good morning' to Diddi and an apology to Kent for running out on him, and sat down to eat, hoping her son's chatter would grant her time to decide how she was going to tell Kent about Matymbou and Gislane.
~|^|~
"Diddi, I want you to go and play with your truck now," Lois said.
Her tone caused Clark's heart to skip a beat. Diddi noticed something, too, because he sent her a questioning look.
"Go on," Lois said with a smile.
"Yes, Maman." Diddi picked up his truck, leaving Clark alone to face Lois's questions.
"Kent?"
"Uhmm?" Clark kept his eyes buried deep in the flames, hoping it would signal his aversion to discussing anything deeper than the tastiness of Gislane's fried hog.
"There's something I need to tell you."
The secret? Had she changed her mind and was going to tell him whatever knowledge she shared with Romaric?
"Does it have something to do with why you ran off so abruptly?" Clark asked, still not looking at her.
"Yes. I'm sorry I was rude. Things weren't making sense. Then suddenly, all the pieces fitted together, and I knew. I thought I knew. I just had to go and find out for sure."
It wasn't sounding like a lead-in to divulging Romaric's secret. "Did you? Find out for sure?"
"Yes."
"And?"
"And I finally realised something I should have seen months ago. Matymbou is in love with Gislane."
Clark's eyes shot from the fire to Lois's face. She was smiling … somewhat hesitantly, but she didn't look upset. "Matymbou?" he croaked.
"Yes." Lois beamed. "He has healed enough from Kibibi's death that he can love again, and Gislane has won his heart."
"You seem pleased."
"I am delighted," she said. "This morning, there will be a ceremony and I will give Matty to Gislane."
Lois's marriage had finished. "Do you feel sad that it's over?"
"It was more a friendship than a marriage," she said, "and the friendship isn't over. I will still share tea with Matty. We will still chat. I will still teach him the English words and sayings that so fascinate him. We will still ruminate over life and its meaning."
"You'll be single." It was a dull statement of fact - one that should have filled Clark's heart with joy, but didn't.
He couldn't marry Lois, even if she were single.
As a prospective husband, he failed on two counts. He was married. And he was an alien.
Lois shuffled a little closer to him. "This doesn't affect us," she said. "You have as much time as you need to decide what you want to do."
What he wanted to do and what he had to do were worlds apart. "Lois … I can't marry you."
She patted his arm. "We can talk about everything when you feel ready."
"Have you told Diddi? About Matymbou?"
"No. That's my next task. I wanted you to know first." Her hand drifted across his bare shoulder as she stood from the rock. "Diddi!"
Diddi picked up his truck and ran over to the fire.
"I'll give you some privacy," Clark said. He rose and walked away before she could protest.
He went into the hut.
Later today, Lois would be single.
What would she expect from him?
She'd said he had time, but time always evaporated. Eventually, he would have to give her an answer.
Would he be strong enough to stand firm and do the right thing?
Or would he crumble and condemn himself to another life of pretence?
~|^|~
That morning, Clark joined the crowd of Bangala as they witnessed Lois walk solemnly hand in hand with the chief and give him to Gislane.
Lois spoke, quietly and steadily, in Bangala. Once, she stumbled and Matymbou leant across and mumbled a prompt. With a smile of thanks, she continued.
When she'd finished, Gislane responded, and then Lois stepped to the side, where Diddi awaited her.
Gislane glowed with radiating joy.
Matymbou carried a quiet manner of contentment.
And Lois smiled with genuine happiness for her friends.
Matymbou and Gislane held hands and exchanged a few words. They hugged enthusiastically, and the crowd cheered.
Then, Matymbou lifted his hand for silence. He spoke earnest words, repeatedly glancing towards Lois. She smiled, blushed a little, and swept him into a hug when he finished speaking.
The chief and his pledged bride walked slowly to his hut, their hands joined, their laughter floating behind them.
Lois took Diddi's hand and smiled down at him.
Around him, Clark heard the whispers of the people.
"Lois Moko … Lois Moko."
Lois left Diddi and went to an older woman who was sitting in a chair with her leg raised on a stool. Lois embraced her, crouching as they talked.
Diddi walked over to Clark, his face glum.
"You all right, buddy?" Clark asked.
Diddi nodded sombrely.
Clark squatted beside the boy. "Your maman is happy for Matymbou and Gislane," he said. "I think she wants you to be happy, too."
Diddi nodded again.
Clark squeezed his shoulder. "What does 'Moko' mean?" he asked.
"Alone," Diddi said. "Maman is now called 'Lois Alone'."
