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Hope you are liking this setting for TGGGOH!  Feedback here please! And stay cool! 
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way.
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Pulitzer
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Hi Mozartmaid! Considering it is hazy, hot and humid in North Carolina, this wintertime story is a welcome relief! I nodded, glancing out the window at the snow. Was I so naïve this morning not to think that maybe the forecast was just off on timing? It certainly looked like it would be a six-inch snowstorm or better… Even though it was only around four o’clock, the clouds outside made it seem much later. I reached over to turn on a lamp and switched on the TV to catch the headlines.
“…flights cancelled in and out of Wichita. This storm will affect most of the area overnight. Expect school closings in the morning…” Honestly this is almost better than the original! With the notable absence of Martha and Jonathan, I'm enjoying this story! Lois and Clark having a rematch of their Monopoly battle. Lois fighting her attraction for her handsome partner, sometimes I giggled while reading! You've also given the Kent homestead a little personality all its own; describing Clark getting firewood and measuring the snowfall with a yardstick. The transformer blowing a fuse and plunging them into darkness. Waiting for snowplows. Ah, the memories! Finally Trask makes an appearance. But I have a quibble: even though Clark is powerless, it should have been easy to take Trask on. Also, Trask is a bully, he would never have come to the Kent home without backup. So I guess I'll be reading more about why he came alone in the next part. I longed to have Superman’s phone number in that moment on speed dial, some quick and easy way to call him and tell him the danger we were in. But at the same time, it seemed that Trask had a ready trap for Superman, though I couldn’t fathom what on earth it could be.
Somehow, Clark and I had to shake this madman on our own. Ah, Lois, you guys are most definitely on your own.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Nice going Mozartmaid,
Like Morgana, I love the depth of your descriptions of the environment. One of the things I love about the stories here, so much more depth than the old series. Kind of like watching a movie and then reading the book that the movie came from. The movie seemed like a synopsis. Also impacting is the fact that the stories here are not being dictated by ABC/Disney...
Can't wait for the next part.
Mike
Create all the happiness you are able to create.
Remove all the misery you are able to remove.
Jeremy Bentham
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Pulitzer
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I like this story, it is very fun. On technical point though. I would be shocked if Smallville has more than one sip code. Even if it does, the Kent's, the Irigs, and a few hundred more people would all be in one zip code. a Zip code would never be very useful in doing searches for pesticide. Zip codes in Kansas ofte go 8 miles by 7 miles, and that is not even a particularly large one. I waited in the dark silence until Clark returned with a pile of extra wood. I reached my hands out towards the dwindling fire, as they had already begun to feel cold. He added a long onto the fire, creating a much needed explosion of warmth in the room. “Man, I wish I had bought some marshmallows.” I think you want to say "log onto the fire". It is interesting that this is happening after the honeymoon suite incident. Is this also after Miranda sprayed the newsroom with Revenge, or has that not happened yet? So did Trask manage to get the information on the Kent's out of Irig by torture, or did he just do a deep background check on Clark to learn he was from Smallville?
John Pack Lambert
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John,
One point on the story - this obviously is an Alt - universe story so the timeline of events do not have to parallel or even occur.
Just enjoy the story for what it is and don't think it is lacking because episodes of the show do not exist in this alt - universe.
This is a tremendous story in its own right. Accept it in its own merits. Maid has done a wonderful job here.
Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks" My stories can be found herekj
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Another thing -
Maid lives in Germany. I think I was her only beta here in the States. I had noticed the zip code thing, but failed to mention it, so that one was my fault.
Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks" My stories can be found herekj
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Top Banana
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Mike: Nice going Mozartmaid,
Like Morgana, I love the depth of your descriptions of the environment. One of the things I love about the stories here, so much more depth than the old series. Kind of like watching a movie and then reading the book that the movie came from. The movie seemed like a synopsis. Also impacting is the fact that the stories here are not being dictated by ABC/Disney...
Can't wait for the next part.
Mike Thanks! Glad you like the descriptions. And going into depth is part of the beauty of fanfic... you can capture all the in-betweens and might-have-beens... Morgana: Hi Mozartmaid!
Considering it is hazy, hot and humid in North Carolina, this wintertime story is a welcome relief! Yay winter in July!  Honestly this is almost better than the original! With the notable absence of Martha and Jonathan, I'm enjoying this story! Aw thanks!  Don't worry -- they'll make a reappearance! Lois and Clark having a rematch of their Monopoly battle. Lois fighting her attraction for her handsome partner, sometimes I giggled while reading!
You've also given the Kent homestead a little personality all its own; describing Clark getting firewood and measuring the snowfall with a yardstick. The transformer blowing a fuse and plunging them into darkness. Waiting for snowplows. Ah, the memories! [Smile] Glad you are enjoying it! Finally Trask makes an appearance. But I have a quibble: even though Clark is powerless, it should have been easy to take Trask on. Also, Trask is a bully, he would never have come to the Kent home without backup. So I guess I'll be reading more about why he came alone in the next part. Hopefully the next part addresses your concerns... KenJ Originally posted by KenJ:
John,
One point on the story - this obviously is an Alt - universe story so the timeline of events do not have to parallel or even occur.
Just enjoy the story for what it is and don't think it is lacking because episodes of the show do not exist in this alt - universe.
This is a tremendous story in its own right. Accept it in its own merits. Maid has done a wonderful job here.
....
Another thing -
Maid lives in Germany. I think I was her only beta here in the States. I had noticed the zip code thing, but failed to mention it, so that one was my fault. Sorry, but with all due respect, I don't consider it an alt-universe. I haven't changed things THAT much. Just TGGOH set in the snow and what could have been... I may live in Germany, but I am American. And on the east coast, it is quite possible to have many zip codes in one rather small area that may just be one number off from each other. I assumed that since Kansas is much more spread out, it could be possible that neighbors would live as far away as another county and that Smallville itself would have a handful of zip codes. But maybe they are done by population? Consider it an issue of me being a city girl rather than country girl. John Lambert: quote:I waited in the dark silence until Clark returned with a pile of extra wood. I reached my hands out towards the dwindling fire, as they had already begun to feel cold. He added a long onto the fire, creating a much needed explosion of warmth in the room. “Man, I wish I had bought some marshmallows.”
I think you want to say "log onto the fire". OK I will fix that. It is interesting that this is happening after the honeymoon suite incident. Is this also after Miranda sprayed the newsroom with Revenge, or has that not happened yet?
So did Trask manage to get the information on the Kent's out of Irig by torture, or did he just do a deep background check on Clark to learn he was from Smallville? Should pretty much be in the timeline, though I may have reordered a few eps to add a little more depth. Assume the PML hasn't happened yet. If it really bothers you all that much I'll take out the Honeymoon in Metropolis reference. Trask shows up in Smallville for the same reasons he does in the episode.
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way.
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Please don't take out HiM it adds depth - and all those Monopoly references to the story. So, when is the next part? Its hot over here!
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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On zip codes, they are somewhat by population, but not strictly. Most likely the way to identify where the pesticides were pulled would be by township and section numbers. Although I would be surprised if the Irig farm is more than one section (640 acres), it might fall within multiple sections. To make things more fun you can actually explain this issue without changing the story. Since it is Lois narrating it, we just write off the problem as Lois having harrd "section numbers" but thought "zip codes, that is what a bunch of numbers identicating location are". Lois, as a total city girl assumes there are a bunch of zip codes involved, and that must be what the numbers she is dealing with are.
It is totally workable for me for this to be after HiM but before PML. Some of Clark's dialogue in HiM works better if it is before PML. Also, since in HiM the bad guys are using a December 1993 calendar, this makes everything fit well with the story. I was actually gald you mentioned HiM, because before that I was even more at a loss why Lois was talking about a rematch with Clark.
John Pack Lambert
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He grinned down at me. “Did Lois Lane just thank me for something?” he teased, though I was a little hurt. Do I really treat him that badly?
He sat down next to me, and I hit his arm playfully. “Stop it, Clark. I thank you all the time,” I said, though I realized with a shock that I was lying. I couldn’t think of the last time I had thanked him for anything. You know, I can't remember if she was like that in Season One, but since you said it, she probably was. It felt very cozy, sitting there with Clark and our coffees on the sofa. His parents’ sofa was definitely more comfortable than mine.
Clark suddenly got up and started making a fire. He expertly stacked some small logs and stuffed some old newspapers in between to get the fire started. Perhaps Clark is a little, um, uncertain, sitting so close to Lois? “I guess you’re feeling better?”
He turned to look at me, with that strange deer-in-headlights look he gets sometimes and then answered me. “Yeah, a little bit… I hope I’m back to normal by tomorrow though.” I like that expression. Clark let the secret identity slip there for a minute. Of course, Lois will realize that only in retrospect, after she finds out that CK=SM. He came back a moment later with skewers and a bag of Stay-Puffed marshmallows. I can only hope that the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man doesn't show up in Smallville. ![[Linked Image]](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/d8/Stay-puft-marshmallow-man.jpg/300px-Stay-puft-marshmallow-man.jpg) He glanced ever so slightly my way, and then did a double take, as a look of horror crossed his features. He must have realized that Lois is there. Trask laughed, making me jump out of my own skin. “I know she’s here in Smallville. I have a small group searching the city for her." So that's where the rest of the goons are! Somehow, Clark and I had to shake this madman on our own. I'm sure that Lois will come up with something! Question - did Jonathan leave that big hunk of kryptonite sitting in the barn? I sure hope not. Is Trask carrying kryptonite? If so, why isn't Clark looking worse? Eagerly awaiting more!
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Morgana Please don't take out HiM it adds depth - and all those Monopoly references to the story. So, when is the next part? Its hot over here! I won't take HiM out. It was simply an empty threat to help people loosen up a bit. It IS fiction guys! John Lambert On zip codes, they are somewhat by population, but not strictly. Most likely the way to identify where the pesticides were pulled would be by township and section numbers. Although I would be surprised if the Irig farm is more than one section (640 acres), it might fall within multiple sections. To make things more fun you can actually explain this issue without changing the story. Since it is Lois narrating it, we just write off the problem as Lois having harrd "section numbers" but thought "zip codes, that is what a bunch of numbers identicating location are". Lois, as a total city girl assumes there are a bunch of zip codes involved, and that must be what the numbers she is dealing with are. So basically have Lois have my problem -- city girl in the country. It is totally workable for me for this to be after HiM but before PML. Some of Clark's dialogue in HiM works better if it is before PML. Also, since in HiM the bad guys are using a December 1993 calendar, this makes everything fit well with the story. I was actually gald you mentioned HiM, because before that I was even more at a loss why Lois was talking about a rematch with Clark. Thank you. That is pretty much what I thought. Though I never noticed the calendar detail... IolantheAlias No Stay-Puft Marshmellow man... that I know of! I swear they are a REAL marshmellow brand... though perhaps they were made AFTER the Ghostbusters film... quote:Trask laughed, making me jump out of my own skin. “I know she’s here in Smallville. I have a small group searching the city for her."
So that's where the rest of the goons are! Thank you for spotting this!  Question - did Jonathan leave that big hunk of kryptonite sitting in the barn? I sure hope not. Is Trask carrying kryptonite? If so, why isn't Clark looking worse? Yes, actually, he did. Remember in the show that Wayne brings it to him. He had thought it was safer to leave it there until Clark could deal with it. ...you'll see more of Clark's condition in the next part! ...which I am off to post!  (I need a little running man icon )
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way.
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To be fair, I only know about the calendar detail because Virginia pointed it out at one point.
John Pack Lambert
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Originally posted by John Lambert:
To be fair, I only know about the calendar detail because Virginia pointed it out at one point. Sorry, one of the fatal flaws of being detail oriented. To join into the Zip Code explanation. According the Wikipedia ZIP codes designate only delivery points within the United States and its dependencies, as well as locations of its armed forces. Or to extrapolate, Zip Codes are part of the postal service and have to do with delivering mail (like postal codes elsewhere in the world). For example, in one of the towns when I was growing up, the entire town (50K+ population) had the same zip code including outlying areas. We lived a good 5 miles south (out) of town and our zip code went from south of us all the way to the north side of town, which would take us a twenty-minutes / half-hour to drive to. (Roughly 20 miles away). Usually each main Post Office was designated its own Zip Code. Nowadays, that same area includes at least 3 zip codes. My, has it grown in 25 years. The reason cities, such as NYC, have so many zip codes is the population (and businesses) per square foot is much denser.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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