It was hard to remain calm while hearing the story behind why the four were even here. He knew what Lois had gone through, but hearing her tell the story made it all the worse. She had spared him the details of her captivity, but even knowing that she'd been receiving his sendings – unwitting as it was – to the point where it was ruining her life... it was nearly more than he could bear.
“You can't keep blaming yourself for something you did while in stasis,” Lois gently chided him. “You weren't consciously making a connection to me. You didn't intend to harm me.”
“Nonetheless, I did harm you.”
“I'm fine. As you can see, I'm fine.”
“No,” he got up and started to pace, letting his emotions show somewhat – something that he'd been cautioned against doing by his many advisors all those years ago. He knew he had to fight against their advice. He wasn't a leader here, he was one of many working together to fight a common enemy. He knew that holding back his emotions and seeming almost machine-like would be off-putting to the humans, and probably even his two doppelgängers.
“No?”
“You are not 'fine',” he reiterated firmly. “You were so injured by what I did that you were forced to come here to stop it.”
“I came here because I wanted to help,” she insisted, coming over to stand near him. A bold action that spoke clearly of her conviction to make him believe her. He knew that she was afraid of his intense reaction to her story – her pulse was racing and her breathing was accelerated, and not all of this was memory-based. “Kal-El, when we learned your clone was the one who had taken over we realized would help free this world by freeing you. You could win this by right of who you are – not exactly a bloodless war, but far less bloody than out and out physical rebellion.”
He winced at her terms, imagining the slaughter if it came to that.
“I accept your apology,” she placed a hand on his arm. He stiffened, terrified he might actually hurt her by accident. These powers were incredibly dangerous. “I just don't accept that you need to give one.”
He nodded, trying to move past this moment and put physical space between the two of them.
“Thank you for that.”
She smiled, and then returned to her seat. He felt her breathing and heart rate ease and knew that it had been hard for her to be so close. He promised himself that he wouldn't force her to comfort him again if he could help it.
“Do you have any questions for us,” Kent filled the awkward silence.
Kal-El nodded.
“I was – wondering about the Lois Lane of this world,” he admitted. “She seems to – trust you two – as best, I suppose as she can ever trust anyone, and I wondered how that happened? She is the obvious leader and if we are to work together, I would appreciate advice on how to interact with her so she does not feel threatened.”
“She will feel threatened,” Lane offered. “Unfortunately it's the situation. She's been... difficult to – deal with – because of what she went through and it did take her a while to accept that either Clark would never hurt her. I'm not sure she really believes it in her bones, but I think she realized she couldn't keep yelling at them either. At some point she had to accept their help. In your case it's diferent. You... are Kryptonian, while these guys are more human - born on Krypton, yes, but raised here . There's also the fact that she doesn't feel she has to be grateful to you the way she does us – we came here to help. You already live here. This is the universe in which you belong.”
“And then there is the fact that I allowed this entire invasion to take place,” Kal added. “The fault lies with me.”
“Because you weren't able to predict this would happen,” Kent asked, understanding Kal's feelings. “You think it's your fault because you should have known better?”
“Yes,” his face was awash with shame. “I should have knonw better. The advisors - those who perptuated this – I knew they wanted to come to Earth – I knew what their plans were. To show humans a 'better way'. To lead them, and live among them. But I also knew that was an arrogant and unrealistic plan. What right do we have to assume we know the better way? A superpowered race cannot exist peacably alongside those without the same powers. Abuse was guaranteed. It is why I denied the plan. I refused to even consider it, and in my naivete, I did not see that my saying 'no' meant that the plan was truly dropped. I should have known they would betray me, that they would ensure that this happened. Our lives were hard before and this was an easy answer.”
“But to kidnap you, clone you and replace you? That sounds a little … unpredictable,” Clark argued. “I mean, who could begin to think something like that would happen to them?”
“I could have. Cloning exists in my world. My people have perfected it. We do it for medical purposes – we clone organs to prevent illness from taking lives.”
“Had this ever been done to anyone else?”
“No.”
“Then I think that you are being too hard on yourself,” Lois said. “But what we think won't affect how you feel. You have to come to grips with it yourself. What about Zara and Ching,” she winced as she spoke aloud the name of her enemy. “Do you blame them for not knowing? Zara said you three spent a lot of time together as children.”
“We also spent many years apart. They probably thought the pressures of duty had changed me for the worse.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“I cannot blame them. They both have suffered enough.”
Lois's gaze darkened.
“I sure as hell can blame Ching,” Kent said. Clark nodded. “Not for failing to see what happened to you, but for what he allowed to happen to Lois.”
“I have difficulties with that as well,” Kal said. “What he did had no honor at all. I do not stand by him in that, Lois.”
“I … don't want to talk about this,” she told them all, her voice tight. “Let's just get back on subject.”
“Unfortunately this is the subject,” Lane said, her voice apologetic. “Can you work with Ching, Kal-El, because you may have to. You have to convince your people who you are. You have to use your right as leader to end this invasion. You have to make peace with Zara and Ching in order for that to happen. You cannot let what he did to Lois get in the way of that.”
Kal-El flicked a guilty look at Lois. He knew Lane was correct, but he didn't want to admit it in front of Lois. Despite what he knew his duty to be, he could not bear to hurt Lois.
