"I lost everything, too," she reminded him.
"Yeah, I know."
"Then, I gained a son. And a community. And a husband who's heart had been broken by the death of his wife. He showed me that there is always a way forward and while we're still breathing, we owe it to ourselves to find it."
Clark could too easily see the way forward. "If I had met you … back home … while I was with Lana … I can't be sure that I wouldn't have …"
"You would never have forsaken your wife and marriage."
"But what I feel for you is deeper, stronger, purer, more compelling than the best of what I felt for Lana. I might have done to her what she did to me."
"Then forgive her," Lois said. "Forgive her, and free her to live the life she has chosen for herself and her child."
"And free myself to marry you?" Clark said, his words brittle with disbelief that it could be so simple.
"We'll find a way," Lois said.
He wanted to believe her. He wanted so much to believe that they would find a way to be together that didn't make a mockery of the values his parents had instilled in him.
"Today is a day for miracles." Lois rubbed his arm. "Our entire village is celebrating. Let's go and tell them the newest member of the Bangala is to be called 'Martha'." She moved towards the gate.
"Lois?"
She stopped. "Uhmm?"
"Thanks." One word. Yet it meant everything.
Her smile emerged, taking firm possession of his heart. "You're welcome, Kent," she said.
Part 31
Back in the village, Lois left Kent amid the bustle of the flourishing party and slipped away to sanctuary of Rolle's hut. The new parents were resting on the bed. A few feet from them, their daughter was being cradled in the arms of her grandmother, Safi. The older woman looked up at Lois, her smile heady with relief.
"Is everything OK?" Lois asked in Bangala.
"Ee," Safi said. "Azali kitoko."
Lois nodded her agreement. "She is beautiful."
"Boni Rolle?" Safi asked.
"Azali malamu," Lois said. "I think she is going to be fine."
Safi sighed softly, and her gaze returned to her granddaughter.
Kito stirred, moving carefully from the bed so as not to disturb Rolle. He came over to Lois and said, "Melesi mingi, Lois."
"You're welcome," she said, giving him a quick hug.
"I …" He frowned. "I thought Rolle … kufa."
There had been times when Lois had feared for Rolle's survival, too. "She's a strong woman, Kito," Lois said.
He nodded. "I happy … so happy you here. You and Sylva. You not here … I have nothing."
Lois's heart swelled with the effervescent joy of new life. "I'm happy, too, Kito," she said. "I'm so glad I was here to help you and Rolle and your beautiful daughter."
"Are you … pick name?"
"Yes," Lois said. "I've chosen a name."
Kito lifted his daughter from his mother's arms and looked expectantly at Lois.
"Martha," Lois said.
Kito smiled. "Martha," he repeated. "Nalingi nkombo."
"I like it, too," Lois said, thinking about the original Martha and her son - the man who had kissed her.
And ignited every feminine response in her body.
One kiss … and everything she'd so carefully stored away in hibernation had burst to life.
She had to find a way for them to be together - something Kent would accept; something that would help him break from the chains of the past and be free to embrace his future.
Their future.
Lois went over to the bed and placed a light hand on Rolle's forehead. There was no sign of an elevated temperature. "Let her sleep," Lois told Kito. "The naming ceremony can wait."
"Yes," Kito said. "She much tired."
"Come and get me if you need me."
"OK."
Outside the hut, Lois paused, her eyes darting in search of the man who made her heart leap every time she saw him.
Kent was sitting a few yards from the main buzz of activity, leaning back against a tree and watching the celebrations roll on around him.
His head jerked to the side, and he saw her.
He smiled.
Lois hurried over to him.
"Everything OK?" he asked, moving to rise to his feet.
"Don't get up," Lois said. "You look so comfortable that I want to join you." She sat next to him and leaned into his side. His arm curled around her shoulders, pressing her closer.
Her head found a natural resting place against his chest, and Lois allowed her eyelids to fall shut as the last residue of responsibility leached from her body.
"Is everything all right?" Kent muttered. "Rolle? The baby?"
"Rolle is asleep. Kito is ecstatic. Martha is beautiful."
Kent's fingers rubbed across her shoulder, and she imagined he was smiling. "Were you ever really worried?" he asked.
"Yeah," Lois said, shuddering at the memory of the darkest moments.
"What happened?"
"The baby wasn't moving. Her heart rate wasn't recovering after each contraction. Rolle was too tired to push. Then, we lost the baby's heartbeat."
"You thought she'd died?"
"We didn't know. But we didn't have any evidence that she was alive. We had to make sure Rolle didn't pick up on our fear, because there is no way she could have found the strength to deliver a dead baby."
"What happened?" Kent asked.
"I was able to manipulate Rolle's abdomen and turn the baby around."
"Isn't that dangerous?"
"I didn't turn her upside down, but rotated her so she was facing backwards. That's a much better position, and she started to move with each contraction. It was still slow, and the heartbeat was faint, but we had hope, and that was enough to give Rolle the encouragement she needed to keep going."
"How was Martha after she was born? Did she begin breathing easily?"
Lois smiled at Kent's use of the baby's name, but sobered at the implication inherent in his question. He'd learned something about childbirth, probably in preparation for the birth of the child he'd thought was his. "She was limp for a while, not moving … not breathing. I looked after Rolle. Sylva took Martha and began massaging her. The moment we heard her first cry was just …" Lois swallowed down happy, relief-drenched tears.
Lois felt the gentle ripple of Kent's laughter.
"What?" she asked.
"I like 'Martha'. And I think my mom would have been delighted to know she has a little African namesake."
Lois leaned her head a little deeper into Kent's shoulder. He had lost so much … suffered so painfully.
For the rest of her life, Lois wanted to love him. To watch him heal. To restore his ability to trust.
But for now …
His fingers continued to glide gently across her shoulder. The steady rhythm of his chest rocked her, and sleep came, luring her tired body and mind to the place of rest.
~|^|~
The loud and robust celebrations swirled around the edges of Clark's consciousness, unable to distract his focus from the soft weight tucked between his arm and his side as Lois slept.
He'd kissed her.
It had lasted only a second, but the memory of it would last a lifetime.
As would the dual flashes of truth that had been branded across his heart.
He was meant to be with Lois. And all his myriad layers of resistance were no match for the certainty of that fact.
Not only was he meant to be with her … they were meant to travel life together, side by side. A couple. A family. Two people whose lives were forever entwined.
He felt it with such conviction that it reduced his relationship with Lana to triviality.
He'd been born - so far away - to love Lois.
He had fought it. He could continue to fight it. But it was his destiny and eventually, it would prevail.
He adjusted his arm, drawing her closer.
He wanted to be hers. Her friend. Her husband. Her lover. The one who completed her perfectly.
For so many years, he'd feared there was no woman on earth who could make him feel like this. If he were shamefully honest, he had to admit that he had loved Lana - loved her and married her and committed to spending his life with her - because he'd believed it was the best he was going to get.
He'd been so wrong. His actions had been unfair to himself and disrespectful to her.
He loved Lois. She'd said she loved him.
She'd said they would find a way forward … and that would mean marriage.
Marriage. Staying with the Bangala. Living a simple life in a community devoid of modern conveniences but rich in everything that mattered. Perhaps fitting in more easily than he ever had before, despite his obvious physical differences.
Less than two weeks ago, he had thought his life was over. He'd wanted to die.
Now, the future stretched out before him with such promise, he knew he wouldn't have the strength to do anything but reach out and take it.
But for now, all he wanted was to stay like this, with Lois sleeping under his arm.
A few minutes later, he saw Diddi and Zephyrin in the distance and beckoned them over.
They flew their rockets towards Clark - although with less exuberance than earlier in the night. "Yes, Kent?" Diddi said, showing no noticeable reaction to his mother asleep and fitted so closely into Clark's side.
"I have a mission for some brave astronauts," Clark said.
"Really?" Diddi asked with a squeak of excitement. "What do we have to do?"
"I need you and Astronaut Zephyrin to go to your home planet and bring the blanket from your maman's bed."
"Yes, sir." Diddi and Zephyrin tore across to Lois's hut, their rockets held high.
When they returned with the blanket, Clark put it around Lois's sleeping form and said, "Perhaps it's time for all astronauts to get some sleep."
"Astronauts don't sleep," Diddi informed him. "If they do, the rocket will crash into a planet."
"Tired astronauts could make a navigational error and get lost," Clark said. He pointed to the black canopy above. "There's a lot of room out there. I wouldn't know where to start looking if my best two astronauts went missing."
Diddi glanced to Zephyrin. "OK," Diddi conceded.
"Are you going to Romaric's hut?" Clark said. "Your beds are probably still there."
"No. Romaric's gone hunting. We'll go to our hut."
Romaric had left? "Are you sure Romaric's gone?" Clark asked.
"Yep. I saw Matymbou pray for him for safety as he left the village."
"He's gone hunting for a big animal? For the celebration?"
"Yes," Diddi replied. "He said he was going to find the antelope herd because that's Rolle's favourite. Come on, Zephyrin. We need to land these rockets."
They 'flew' off. Clark adjusted his position a little, glad that Lois hadn't stirred. He adjusted the blanket across her shoulders, allowing himself to linger long enough to stroke the soft skin of her cheek.
Why hadn't Romaric taken him hunting? Had Romaric left while Clark had been with Lois in the quarantine area? Clark thought back. He was sure he'd seen Romaric after that.
Why hadn't Romaric spoken to Clark before leaving? Had he forgotten about his suggestion that they hunt together? Or did he regret his offer?
As much as Clark was curious about the reason for Romaric's change of mind, puzzling over it was unlikely to result in any answers, so he closed his eyes and tracked the rhythm of Lois's breathing. After touching a kiss to her hair, he succumbed to the tiredness creeping through his body and let sleep claim him.
~|^|~
In the crisp new dawn, the crowd gathered again.
Matymbou and Gislane spoke their vows, committing themselves to each other for the rest of their lives.
Clark didn't understand everything they said, but the significance and depth of emotion transcended their words, imbuing the occasion with solemn joy. He glanced sideways to where Lois was standing next to him.
He wanted her. He wanted to stand before these people and declare the truth in his heart.
But, just a few years ago, he had made that promise to Lana. How could he promise forever when his last forever vow had dissolved to nothing?
When the wedding ceremony was done and the new marriage had been sealed with loud applause and a jaunty kiss, Matymbou seamlessly switched from groom to director of proceedings, and Kito and Rolle stood before him with their baby daughter snuggled in her father's arms.
The crowd quieted. Matymbou made an announcement in Bangala, and then repeated it in English. "The girl's name is Martha. She is named for Kent's maman."
The people cheered again. Several women came over to Clark and embraced him with wild exuberance, and a few of the men slapped his shoulder as his mom's name was carried by a chorus of African voices, "Martha … Martha."
Moisture seeped into his eyes.
He had found a home and a people. They had welcomed him, appearing blind to his differences. Now there would be a little Bangala girl who carried his mom's name.
The desire to belong had been the cry of his heart since he had first realised he lived among people who were not his own. Never before, had he felt that cry being answered.
He watched as people crowded around Martha, warm with welcome and excitement.
The same warmth and welcome he had received.
It defied explanation, but he belonged here. With these people.
And the woman he would love until his last breath.
As if something had communicated his thoughts, Lois's hand touched his arm. "Would you like to meet Martha?" she asked.
"Ah …"
"Rolle and Kito would like to meet you properly. And they'd like to show you their daughter. But if you'd rather not … I understand it might be difficult for you."
He couldn't spend his whole life avoiding babies. "OK," Clark said. "I'd like that."
Her hand drifted across his arm, causing his skin to tingle. "Sure?"
He nodded. "I'd be honoured to meet Martha."
They waited until the new family had returned to their hut, and then Lois grasped Clark's hand and tugged him forward. Once inside, it took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the muted light.
Kito approached him. "Kent," he said. "Much happy Martha."
Clark's gaze dropped from the father's friendly smile to the small bundle in his arms. Martha's face was puckered slightly, her head was a little misshapen, her eyes were closed, and dark fluff crowned her head. She was - Lois aside - the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. "She's perfect," Clark said.
"Mingi malamu," Lois muttered.
Kito nodded eager agreement. "Mingi malamu. Perfect." He pushed his daughter closer to Clark. "Banga kamata?"
"Kito wants to know if you'd like to hold her," Lois said.
"Ah …" Clark instinctively held out his arms, and Kito placed Martha in them.
Clark's first impression was her smallness. Her almost weightlessness. He felt a sudden inclination to unwrap the blankets, just to assure himself there was an entire human being inside them.
"I wish I had a camera," Lois murmured.
"She's so …" Clark could only repeat his earlier word. "She's so perfect. So tiny."
Lois leaned over and loosed the blanket, revealing a small hand. She draped it around her forefinger, allowing Clark to see the miniscule nails on the end of each exquisite finger.
"Wow," he breathed.
After a few moments, Clark dragged his eyes from the little girl. "Melesi," he said to Kito. "Melesi mingi."
Kito slid his hand under the bundle and took back his daughter. "Martha," he said, pride tinkling in his tone. "Martha."
Emotion welled up in Clark - for the mom he had lost so long ago, for the wife who had chosen to leave him, for the promise of a baby that had never been real … and for a new life he hadn't wanted, but now craved.
Lois slipped her hand into his and together they walked from the hut. "I have an idea," she said.
"About us?"
"Yes," she said. "And about the fact that you're married to a woman you will probably never see again."
"Do you have any possible solutions?" Clark asked hopefully.
"As a matter of fact, I do," she said.
His heart leapt. "You do?"
"I'm not sure how you'll feel about it."
"Tell me."
"OK." She pulled him aside, away from the commotion of the party. "I think it is reasonable to assume that Lana is going to file for divorce on the grounds of desertion as soon as enough time has passed to allow her to do so."
'Divorce' was such a harsh word … so bound up with connotations of failure and heartache. "She will probably want to marry the baby's father," Clark said.
"Exactly," Lois agreed. "So, with you gone, she'll probably wait out the time and then apply for a divorce. She will be granted it … and then, you will no longer be married."
"We have no way of knowing when the divorce is finalised," Clark said.
"I think the length of time varies in different states," Lois said. "Where you married in Kansas?"
"Yes."
"Do you know much about divorce law in Kansas?"
"No. I … I never thought I would need to know. I think there's a waiting period - a certain length of time after a divorce before you can re-marry."
"How long?"
"I'm not sure. Thirty days, maybe?"
"How long after separation can a couple apply for a divorce?"
"I don't know," Clark said desperately.
"When is Lana's baby due?"
Clark did a quick calculation. "In a bit over five months."
"Do you know the identity of the baby's father?"
"No. She refused to tell me."
"You don't know if he is married? To someone else?"
Clark had never considered that possibility. "No, I don't know. She wouldn't say anything about him."
"OK," Lois said. "I know that in some states, a woman can apply for a divorce on the grounds of desertion after two months. I think Lana would want to be married to the baby's father before the birth." She put her hand on his arm. "Therefore, it's reasonable to assume that you will be single in, say, two months."
"Two months?" Clark uttered. It was short enough to take his breath away and long enough to fire protests of impatience.
"We have no way of knowing for sure," Lois said. "Therefore, I think we should work on the most-likely scenario."
"Perhaps Lana has already begun proceedings," Clark said, careful to quash all traces of hope.
"From everything you've told me, I think she will be eager to move on."
"She'd already moved on," he said grimly.
Lois's fingers slid up his arm, leaving tracks of fire. "Which frees you to move on, too."
"Move on to what?" Clark asked, trying to control his wont to grin.
"Me," she said.
"You want me?" He could guess her answer, but he needed to hear her say it.
"With all my heart."
"As your husband?"
She chuckled. "Mr Kent," she said. "Was that a proposal?"
"No," he said. "You deserve so much better than that effort."
She grinned and lightly touched his cheek. "So we're agreed?" she said. "We wait, perhaps one lunar season … two at the most? Then, we consider you to be a single man and fair game for any woman wishing to make a play for your heart?"
"It's already been played," Clark said.
Lois looked delightfully shocked. "I have competition?"
"Never."
She laughed and reached up to place a kiss on his cheek.
"I love you, Lois," Clark said. "And this time, I know it will be forever."
"I love you, too, Kent. Forever."
Clark gathered her into his arms, not caring that they were in the middle of a loud wedding and christening celebration. "I love you, Lois," he murmured into her hair. "I love you. I love you."
And each time he said it, another thorn fell from his heart.
