Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Original Fiction FDK: The Call (1/1)

The bad news: This story is closely based on recent personal experience. The good news: My long-term prognosis is excellent, although I might need surgery to keep it that way. (I'm awaiting the results of the biopsy, but even if it proves to be cancer, it would have been caught early enough that surgery should remove it entirely.) If I skip a Friday posting, you'll know I'm in hospital.

Writing is definitely therapeutic.

As always, all feedback welcomed.

Oh, Lynn, I truly feel your pain. I've had knee replacement on each leg, rotator cuff repair on each shoulder, cataracts replaced with artificial lenses in both eyes, a TIPS procedure, a liver transplant, and I'll have my left hip replaced next Wednesday.

And the most pain I've ever felt was when our oldest son, at age twelve, was diagnosed with a particularly rare and vicious type of cancer.

Hang in there, lady. I'm glad the prognosis is as good as it is. You're in my prayers now.

If it's any consolation, being the caller is not a pleasant experience either. Though of course, it's nothing like being at the receiving end of unpleasant news. Our neighbor, who is a friend of us and who is about my age (his early forties) has been diagnosed with terminal cancer almost two years ago. I kept praying that for the sake of him and his family, they would receive some good news. But despite everything the doctors did, there was nothing that could change his fate. At the moment, he is faring relatively well, but it breaks my heart that he won't see his kids grow up, that his younger daughter probably won't remember him. She's only three years old.

My best wishes and prayers for you, Lynn.
And for Terry, I hope everything will go well with your surgery.

Terry, <low whistle>. You had mentioned in the past that you had had some challenging medical conditions, but I had had no clue the extent of them. Wow. And I can only imagine the depths of pain and sorrow you went through with your son. I am so sorry.

Terry and Barbara, thank you both for your prayers on my behalf. I really appreciate them. And Terry, you are in my prayers about your hip surgery.

Barbara, perhaps your neighbour could record videos for his daughter to watch? Some could be for her current age, and others for when she reaches certain milestones in her life (e.g., graduations). I know it isn't the same as actually being able to be there for her, but it would at least be something.

As for it not being pleasant for the caller... Well, I have a rather nasty experience about that, too. When my son was born, he was whisked away from the birthing center to a NICU because of tachypnea (overly rapid, shallow breathing). In the process of trying to determine the reason, he underwent several tests, include a brain MRI. On my first visit to see him, on his third day of life (I would have gone sooner, but my then-husband kept finding excuses not to go there, so I had to recover from childbirth enough to drive myself), an intern took me aside, offered me a drink of water or coffee, and asked me to sit down. So far, so good. But then, without any other lead-in, told me my son had diffuse brain lesions. I have no medical training and strongly suspect that I am slightly autistic, but even I know that one should break such news gently for example, "As you know, we have been conducting several tests to determine why your son has tachypnea. One of them revealed some irregularities..."

But as if that weren't bad enough, he then spend the next several minutes complaining about how he didn't like that part of the job; how he hated to give parents bad news, and generally whining variations of, "pity poor me." Meanwhile, I was reeling with the potential repercussions of this life-altering news.

A neurologist spoke with me a bit later and let me know that the "diffuse brain lesions" were actually relatively small, and there were only three of them. Of course, that is three too many, but at least he gave me some hope. Subsequent MRIs did not show even those three. But I've often wondered whether they were the first hints at would would later be revealed as my son's autism, inability to smell or to feel heat and cold, and other disabilities.

Don't get me wrong -- I certainly do not envy the bearers of the bad news, and would never want to be in their shoes, either. But I really wish that that intern had saved his "Woe is me" complaints for his family or friends. I found his complaining to me at that time to be breathtakingly inappropriate.

Be well,
Lynn

I meant no disrespect, Lynn and I certainly don't think you should feel sorry for the caller. Perhaps it's really no consolation at all that the caller dreads the call, too. The intern you're talking about should have given you a heads up, that's for sure. I seriously hope that I gave my patients a bit more time to adjust. But I think that no matter how much you try to break the news gently, devastating news is devastating news. That doesn't mean a physician shouldn't do his best.

And he certainly shouldn't whine about having to tell parents bad news. I wouldn't want to do that eithet, that's why I didn't choose pediatrics

Hi Barbara,

I never thought you had intended to be disrespectful, and I have no doubt you would have a ***much*** better bedside manner than that intern did.

If I had been the intern's sister or date, or even if we had just met at a party, I would have sympathized with him and with his complaints. I would imagine that breaking bad news is indeed a miserable part of the job. But his complaining to a patient's mother (and not just a sentence or two -- he went on complaining for a few minutes) immediately after telling her devastating, life-altering news about her newborn, only child was absolutely the wrong place, wrong time, and wrong circumstances.

Be well,
Lynn

I'm going to get myself one of these T-shirts. Like respect for Jack Nicholson's character in "A Few Good Men," I think I've earned it.

Please let us know how things go for you, Lynn. I've already posted my Kerth votes, because I don't know how long it'll be until I can get online again.

I don't know whether to laugh or to grimace at the saying on those shirts; I settled for doing a little of both.

I definitely will let you know the results of my call and how things go from there. Please do the same for us. You are in my prayers.

May your surgery be smooth and your recovery swift,
Lynn

Lynn and Terry:

I am so sorry to hear about your call. My heart goes out to both of you. Terry, I know after the surgery you won't be able to read this for awhile and I am praying for a speedy recovery. Please follow what the PT says, after having the rotator cuff operated on, you definitely know the drill!

Lynn, when is the surgery? I wish I could be there to give a big hug. Hoping to see that posting on Friday!

Hi Morgana and Terry,

Terry, by the time you read this, your surgery should be finished; may your recovery be speed

Morgana, thank you. I'll consider myself hugged.

I just heard from the oncologist's office with the lab results. The good news is that so far, there is nothing to indicate cancer, but he wants to conduct a procedure to confirm that diagnosis and to handle what he suspects (and I hope) might just be a polyp. The procedure is scheduled for April 11th, so now it is a waiting game.

Be well,
Lynn

I just wanted to post an update: I received "the call" and it proved to be good news. The polyp that was surgically removed earlier this week proved not to be cancerous or even pre-cancerous. Huge sigh of relief!

Glad to hear that.