KathyM wrote:
And if they would have preferred such comments to be made privately, I wouldn't have blamed them. I don't write - as many of you know - so I've never felt the terror of putting my "baby" out there for public display. If I had belabored long and hard over a particular paragraph to get the phrasing just how I wanted it, how would I feel if someone came on and said - no matter how politely - that it didn't work very well for them because of... So now, no matter how careful I would be to word it, I would be much more reluctant to say anything that could be construed as negative.
Speaking of thread drift...but I just couldn't leave this alone!
Kathy, this is a very nice sentiment, but it strikes me as excessively cautious. It sounds like your comments have pretty consistently been thoughtful and well-intentioned and probably helpful as well. It seems a great shame for you to put a lid on them just because someone sometime
might overreact. If that were to happen, I really believe the overreaction would be the author's fault, not yours.
I've already said that as a reader I prefer to offer most criticism privately, via e-mail, and yes, that's partly because I've seen some overreactions to constructive criticism. (Interestingly, nine times out of ten, the overreactions have come from the author's *friends* rather than from the author herself.) It's also because it's easier to have an actual dialogue with the author without the world looking on and commenting, and because my comments often take the form of fiddly nitpicks about grammar and such that don't make for interesting discussion anyway.
As a writer, however, I fully believe that if I post in a public forum, thus tacitly asking for reviews of my work, I need to be prepared to suck it up and
graciously deal with whatever criticism comes my way. I absolutely refuse to be an author who relishes the squees and then melts into a heap at the first breath of criticism. If I post it, the readers are welcome to say anything they want to about it. Anything. And no, I don't advertise that, though perhaps I should, but to me it just seems incredibly obvious. If I'm not feeling strong enough to take criticism - yes, even of my beloved paragraph that I labored over for hours - then I'll keep my work tucked safely away on my hard drive where no one can say mean things about it.
I've had this discussion enough times to know that there are strong opinions on the other side of this argument. Please know that I am
not condoning flames or blatantly hurtful comments to any author. You're right that it takes guts to put a story out there for public consumption, and I've always tried to respect that and to balance criticism with praise. But I just hate to see a thoughtful reader and reviewer unnecessarily silenced. I think most writers are tougher than you're giving them credit for being and would welcome your comments
Best,
Caroline
