Ooh, this is good!
Excellent beginning, very good characterization, and I love your phrasing!
She had resisted his charms for so long. In fact, she had resisted admitting he had charms long before she resisted the charms themselves.
I liked that so much I read it out loud <g>
But by far, this was the cheesy excuse yet, pun intended.
<g> but I think you wanted "cheesiest" there... either that or "most cheesy"
Stabbed in the back with the knife of love. Wasn't Cupid supposed to carry an arrow?
Wonderfully vivid images!
Very logical progression here, from her being angry, to hurt, to finally jump-starting her brain.
And the cheese shipment...
So, good plotting, great phrasing, terrific humor -- I cannot wait to see the rest of this, Susan.
The only thing I'd change, really, would be the line about actresses in Bally's commercials. When I'm reading about Lois, I don't want to be distracted by Teri <g> But that may just be me
PJ
