I
adore this revelation scene, tvnerdgirl! You've taken all my favourite elements of a revelation - Lois working it out and being hurt, Clark feeling guilty but also angry and defensive, and of course the TOGOM aspect. Lovely!
Some terrific lines in here, too:
“It may not be the sacrifice you wanted, but I gave up something precious without a single thought that day. I gave up Clark Kent for you. I was ready to live my life as Superman and only Superman. By some miracle I found a way out of it, but if I hadn’t…”
And that's so absolutely true. He
did give up everything for her. His whole life. You know, in Lois's usual anger in TOGOM fics over Clark letting her think he was dead, I'm not sure I've ever seen her actually realise the enormity of what he did for her. She's too busy yelling at him for hurting her to recognise that he really
did die for her.
Oh, by the way, something I noticed when I pasted that quote into the posting window: you have the Word ellipsis auto-correct running. What that means is that on websites which don't understand Word formatting ... will look like . - and this includes the Archive. The best way to deal with it is to find an ellipsis in your document file, select it, go to File/Replace and in the Replace box type an ellipsis manually. Oh, and take off the automatic 'correction'!
And poor Clark really isn't getting very far with her:
“I’m sorry I’m invulnerable and wasn’t able to die for you. If I had no powers at all, I would have jumped in front of that gun just the same. You probably don’t believe me, but…”
Yeah, we all know how true that is. Which reminds me, has anyone ever written a TOGOM fic in which Clark
was powerless going into the club? I can't remember - and what a story that would make!
The point is, you would have let me grieve for you. You would have taken Clark Kent away from me and replaced him with…with Superman. You didn’t even give me the choice. I don’t know that I can forgive you for that Clark.”
And this shows how much Lois's feelings have changed since the end of Season 1. That she'd take Clark over Superman... (Oh, by the way, you need a comma before that last 'Clark' - when you're addressing someone, their names are
always set off by commas).
And Clark notices the change, too:
“I never thought you’d be disappointed to be left with Superman,”
He should be pleased, but I know how hard this is for him.
“Just so you know, I kissed you earlier because I was in love with Clark Kent. Another lie that I happened to fall for I suppose.”
Oh, Lois!
And how understandable that she thinks Clark himself is one big lie. After all, she's only just found out and it's not as if there was any sign that he was going to tell her himself.
What hope is there for them now?
Incidentally, have you looked at the
grammar FAQ on the Archive website? Your biggest challenge seems to be punctuation, in sentences and dialogue, and there are lots of examples on the FAQ which explain how it should be done. Of course, your Archive GE will work with you on this as well, and will explain what you're doing wrong so you can get it right in future.
Wendy
