Darth Michael: Oh, now that Michael has commented does that mean I should post the next part? /just joking; I've actually been writing and rewriting the current part I'm working on because I just can't get it to feel right, which means Part 186 won't post early after all.
Characters. You tell them what to do and why the feel the way they do and they still go off and do whatever they want anyway./ Thanks for your inspiring giggles.
But she has never promised not to lie to him, has she?
Isn't lying to him what got their relationship in trouble in the first place?
CLARK:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/froehlich/d025.gif)
LOIS: No, it was a combo of Luthor being a creep and *Clark* lying to me.
CLARK: /confused/ I wanted to do that. She *told* me not to do that! Can I get the manual please? And maybe see the warranty card?
LOIS: I never told you to protect me. I still don't need you to protect me. But you might need to protect Luthor if he comes anywhere near me.
CLARK: I think I'll be out of town that day.
So, it’s okay for Lois to protect him without his say in the matter?
LOIS: It’s called a double standard.
Ah... so Michael sees what's going on.
LOIS: What? Are you saying I'm not allowed to do that?
Probably something honorable and stupid, such as go after Luthor without powers.
Like she does?
LOIS: But that's different. I never have powers.
Has he *met* her? Does he *know* the odds?
Yes, but Henderson can't help a few digs along the way.
Maybe per dead-man-mail to every sex offender in town?
CLARK:
Why did I leave town again?
LOIS: Don't ask me.
Maybe if she opened the gas line and left a spray can in the microwave before heading outside?
So Clark could forgive her for killing a bunch of her innocent neighbors, because she was doing it to stay safe?
So, he might come after her and try to do the same to her?
LEX: I've already tried that. Plan D: make her my sex slave.
NIGEL: Um... sir, how exactly is that different from plans A-C?
It was her curse. She just didn’t cause indifference in men.
CARLOS: So, you’re Ms. Lane, huh? Nice to meet you. /moves on to other things/
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/a015.gif)
That's one possibility.
CARLOS: /points to collar/ That the *only* possibility, you mean.
EW: Sure, sure. Of course. Anything else would just be cruel, inhumane punishment.
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/frech/e015.gif)
CARLOS: I hate Evil Writers.
BILL: If I tell her I believe her, she’ll go away. If she’s right and Lex gets her, I’ll have peace and quiet. If she’s right and she gets Lex, I’ll have a promotion and she won’t be able to tell me ‘I told you so.’ And if she’s wrong, she’ll first be occupied forever trying to prove she’s right, then she’ll never speak of if again. Either which way, I win.
Or maybe he has another reason for believing her.
CAT:
What if the cop starts to put the cars on ebay?
eBay was founded in 1995.
DIRTY COP: Darn.
EW: Anyway, he doesn't have any of the keys.
COP: /opens door and points to visor/ You mean like these keys?
Like the millions in her name?
LOIS: I’m filthy rich? /Tahiti, here I come!/
LEX: Maybe I didn't do that in this dimension.
LOIS: Say, what? I thought you were kidding. You actually left me money in another dimension.
Also, I've always wondered how a bank account in her name, which was probably earning TONS of money in interested, was never red flagged by the IRS because she never claimed that interest on her tax returns. It's not like it was some account in the Cayman Islands or something.
NIGEL: I knew this obsession with the reporter lady would backfire eventually.
COM GORDON: I didn’t want to call Batman for this. The last time he intervened, he used one of his bat missiles to blow the get-a-way (sic) car sky high and we never found more than a couple of bloody pieces of Catwoman’s leather suit.
CATWOMAN: Why am I tied up in your mansion, Mr. Wayne?
And why does Lois think Nigel will still be there come the morrow?
Ooopps.
Wouldn’t it be awkward if Lex had himself injected with a Kryptonite solution and now Lois would also have tiny fragments of Kryptonite infused in her skin?
So, it's a good thing that they gave her a chemical detox shower then?
DIRT DIGGER: Lex Luthor Did Animals!
Dr. Victor Frank von Stein (name changed to protect source) of Star Labs has confirmed to us that the deceased criminal mastermind Lex Luthor has been tested for sexually transmitted diseases usually found in animals…
CAT: And they call this news? He was engaged to a Mad Dog. Of course, he liked animals.
XERXES: /Runs off to find new home in the country/
Yes, but officially, Lex would already have been dead, wouldn’t he have? American entertainment productions show us that you cannot be convicted for a murder that of a legally dead person. Or something of the like.
HENDERSON: But she could still be charged with desecrating a corpse.
Well…Lex did have some video recordings of himself as Superman seducing Lois Lane.
And you too can own that for as little as $29.99. Send your check or money order to Lex Porn Studios, Burbank, CA
LUCY: What do you mean it isn't really acting? I didn't enjoy playing my sister, but you believed I did, didn't you?
So she has nice, clean clothes to wear when she starts her new job as the primary concubine of the First Lord of New Krypton?
That works for me.
What about her skin? Since she already tanked her hair, shouldn’t she also get a full-body chemical peeling?
LOIS: /razz/ face, arms, hands, and neck only, thank you very much.
Apparently, you've forgotten that they gave her one of those chemical showers for people exposed to bio-hazards.
There’s a number of professions where she wouldn’t need clothing.
INVISIBLE MAN: I've got a new line of clothing where it is invisible but the wearer remains seen. You could model them for my photo shoot.
What if she went off-book during the live interview?
I'm sure they wouldn't air it live, so it would be edited before broadcast.
“Please tell your bosses to take that statement, form it into a pipe, and insert it in the appropriate place on their body?”
ROBINSON: But, Ms. Lane, you know that it is against the law in Metropolis to smoke in the place of business unless one own said company and is worth at least 10 million dollars.
Why should they, provided they now have the recording equipment?
WOOLFE: Yeah, who cares what Lane is saying? It's more important what she's doing. Pass the popcorn, will ya?
No. She might not respect him as much as Henderson, but she doubted Woolfe would be that low.
RALPH: /wave/
WOOLFE: Are you saying that I have anything in common with that slime?
It's much easier to look when someone floats her up there.
My first reaction was /excited/ Clark’s going to hear her scream and come rushing to catch a newly denuded Lois before she smacks into the tub. Then I remembered that he’s currently sans power and watching newly denuded strippers in Las Vegas instead. He prefers blonde ones. And now I’m all /worried about Lois's safety/
First of all, this was a flashback to what Lois did during the afternoon after Henderson dropped her off, so Clark wasn't watching strippers. He was still on the plane.
JIMMY:
Say it isn't so!
Still, her butt landed with a hard bump on the bathmat.
/huh/ No head smash? No amnesia? No split-open skull? No temporal reset? /confused. Does not compute./
works both ways, Michael.
Maybe that will teach her to be more careful and, for instance, not go after Lex alone.
LOIS: /finds this idea hilariously funny for some strange unknown reason/
Because Lex will come to her?
It comes with having double standards.
Okay, more of an opportunist than a hypocrite. Say, what if Lex had special bio-sample pockets installed in the drier that would inject his cooties into the drying process? It would be like he rolled nude in her freshly cleaned clothes ? /evil reader strikes again/
WOOLFE: I don't understand it, Inspector, we keep asking the dogs to sniff out Mr. Luthor and they keep bringing us to Ms. Lane's apartment.
What about Clark and his ongoing feud with Lex?
CLARK: I'm willing to give it up since he's dead.
Also, couldn’t she take her fish out into the hallway, spray the walls and the floor with gasoline, throw a burning matchbook inside, and then move back in once the fire damage has been renovated? Might have a couple less walls, e.g. between living room and kitchen and living room and bedroom and bedroom and bath. Or tick off Joe the Blow.
RENTER'S INSURANCE: I'm sorry, we don't cover intentional torching of your rental. You'll have to pay to fix the place and all of your damaged belongs yourself.
Well…she’s supposed to be on her honeymoon. Maybe society’s is conditioning finally paying off and her subconscious hasn’t picked up yet on the fact that her former beau is now disgusting goo?
Soo, it's too bad Clark didn't take her to Las Vegas?
Maybe if she feigned breathlessness and a quivering voice when she’s whispering ‘Clark? Clark? Please…I need you…Please come back…They’re…’ Then a pause, some clattering and a bank and she could scream ‘Claaaa!’ before clicking the phone off. That way, Jimmy would think Lois is calling for help instead of posting a love message for Superman.
That might take of Jimmy, but Clark would end up with a heart attack.
CLARK: Hey, that's not nice to call Superman when you're not in trouble.
LOIS: /pouting/ But, Clarkie, I was having trouble reaching... the zipper of my dress... yeah, my zipper without you. Come home and help me with my zipper, big boy.
It wasn't until the third reading that I realized what Lois's message could also mean.
Yeah, but we all know how that turned out the last time and that the year #27 is usually the bitch.
Because her boyfriend freezes her to death?
Why would we ever think that after PML?
JIMMY: /scratches head/ I don't recall what Lois did during that incident. How about you, boss?
PERRY: Lois? Hmmmm. No, I don't recall seeing her. Did she even come into work?
