Another two-part FDK. Thank you.
You’re welcome!
LOIS: Yep, Perry, I'm sure there's something rotten in the D.A.'s office. I can smell it from here.
Did Lois bring Mayson homemade cookies?
LOIS: No, but I'd have my reporter's notebook out as I wrote up about misconduct in the DA's office.
Meow!
CLARK: Me flirting with a significantly older woman who likes to date outside her non-creepy dating pool?
Because older women are *never* interested younger handsome men?
Hence Clark’s worry.
LOIS: But…but…but…*Mother* never was interested in any man not named Jack or Daniel after she was past forty!
CLARK: Must you rub it in.
LOIS: I quit him. I turned him down at the altar.
So, she *almost* went through with it. And in the end, she thought he deserved a better woman. A woman who’s not pining after another guy.
I thought you wrote 's' change to 't', and I wondered what got 'fatter'.
Lois after Halloween?
LOIS: What does that have to do with Mayson having big ears? Wait. Why do you carry protection?
CLARK: I don't.
LOIS: /nods/ Okay. Don't worry. I'm always prepared.
CLARK: What?
Let me guess, none of them has an older packaging date then the day of Superman’s arrival?
She undressed him with her eyes?
CLARK: Cousin Kara?!
Jor-El: Aaaawkward!
CLARK: No. I was reacting to the flattery.
LOIS: As if it was your first time.
CLARK: Well, it has been a while.
LOIS: /slaps his chest/ I flatter you all the time.
CLARK: You know time moves faster for me than others, but still once a year doesn't equal 'all the time'.
LOIS: It does for me.
CAT: Explains a lot, doesn't it?
She’s just like Christmas, isn’t she?
MAYSON: And, Judge, when we're finished with Mr. Rage, I'd like to lodge a sexual harassment suit against my main witness. Thank you.
Can you actually do that if it’s not an employer-employee relationship and no physical contact was involved?
LOIS: Oh, shut up, Clark. If you hadn't noticed. Pretty women talk to you all the time.
CLARK: /looking at Lois/ I know.
LOIS: <doesn’t like being taken seriously for her looks>
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What? He might want to ask her out on a date or something.
LOIS: That's professional.
What? *She’s* dressing up as ‘available’ to get inside scoops.
LOIS: That’s because I’m a woman. When a guy does it, it’s creepy and unprofessional.
MAYSON: D.A. Clemmons, we really must do something about Superman. I think he's following me.
SUPERMAN:
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/liebe/a080.gif)
Is a drake another name for dragon?
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/midi/froehlich/d025.gif)
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HOOKER waiting for her booking: I thought it was highly professional.
Except that Mayson was taking her corner?
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MARTIN SNELL: My client was obviously set up by ADA Drake and her boytoy over there.
LOIS: Cllaaark! You ruined the case against the man who tried to bomb my uncle's cafe!
CLARK
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But Superman wouldn’t be showing Clark a good time while he’s with him.
SUPERMAN: /pleads the fifth/
How patient is Clark anyway?
No, no. Lois wouldn't do that.
LOIS: Okay, Clark, strip. The bad guys can't see us if we're naked!
It did work in that one story by Editor Jax where she sent L&C to New Orleans during Mardi Gras.
EW: Wonders why ER is letting Lois berate him so, or what Karate bit from Prankster she's referring to? The part with the spatula? Or was that invisible man?
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/s045.gif)
That one’s lost to the ages?
As a member of the wedding party, he would still be able to enjoy them, though, right?
JIMMY: I'm okay with being an usher.
LOIS: I'm not buying you ANY strippers, Clark!
CLARK: Ooooh, Lois. Are you going to break out that harem costume again?
So, private bachelor party for Clark, then?
Completely - check. Totally - check. Irrationally - check. Jealous - no check?
Actually, the irrationally one’s the fail.
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MAYSON: What? The woman is just a gossip monger.
LOIS: Let me at her! I'm going to tear her in two! <doesn’t like it when someone calls her work as they see it>
MAYSON: /deadpans/
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Nah, she just doesn’t want to be partnered with a stooge.
The true reason Cat left?
Perry introduced the new hire she was to work with?
RALPH:
CLARK: Have I just been insulted?
Reeve-CLARK: /pats his shoulder/ Don't worry. It just means the disguise is working.
CLARK: Didn't you grow up on this planet as Clark Kent, too? Why are you acting as if that part of you doesn't exist?
Reeve-CLARK: Dad died when I was young. I try to forget that part. Plus, I got there during Kindergarten, so some of my personality was already formed.
LOIS: /Nah. I can take 'em/
CLARK: I really shouldn't date anyone so willing to harm another human being.
LOIS:
I’ll kill him!
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LOIS: What does he mean by ‘Galactically Stupid’?
It's just something Clark calls himself from time to time. Just ignore him.
So, trying to not upset your female lead character?
LOIS: What does the ER mean by ‘female’? I *am* the *lead* character. Period.
CLARK: She’s having her period?
ER:
That last one just fell into place…
WELLS: No, no. I only get involved if there's a chance the curse might be enacted. Doesn't stand a chance here.
He’s not very good at determining human intent, is he?
TEMPUS:
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That’s what I had Revenge developed for.
Oh, dear. Has Michael turned into Miranda?
There should have been ‘Lex’ or ‘Miranda’ prefixed.
CLARK: Puppies. Flowers. Rainbow. Please, just make it stop!
Puppies, flowers, and rainbows give Clark unromantic thoughts?
CLARK: What can I say? I was a child in the 70s.
I was thinking ‘happy place thoughts’?
CUPID: Oops?
APHRODITE: Eros, honey, you should have told me that you were color-blind, sweetie. Mommy could have fixed that problem.
So, it goes ‘slut’ and then ‘laywer’?
Yep. The insults get progressively worse.
CLARK: /forms T with his hands/ Time-Out! I don't want anyone to get killed. Okay, ladies, winner takes all in a mud wrestling match.
MAYSON: Excuse me.
LOIS: /cracks neck and knuckles/ I can do that.
JIMMY: /buys popcorn/
RALPH: Can I have some? /lunges in/
CLARK: Hey, Mayson, sorry about calling so late. Could you roll over and tell Mr. Church to have his guys lay off Mike's Cafe Americana? It's really developing a crimp in my relationship with Lois. Thanks.
I’m not sure that would put him in good standing with Mayson. She might even nix the ‘ski’-weekend.
So, Lois should go back to Clark's after he's already had Mayson? He might be too tired.
LOIS: Vodka. And leave the bottle.
ELLEN: My daughter!
CLARK: Are you implying that Kryptonian bodies don't contain flesh with those remarks?
No. Gender reference. Not species.
ER: /thinks she'll turn into a cat woman/
I was thinking she'd more likely turn into Robin from HIMYM.
Robin?
TEMPUS: What? No! That's not what I meant at all!
HERB: Tempus, you complete me.
ER: /belly-dancing/ ?
LOIS: No!
EW: I think Michael wants you to try it anyway.
CLARK: /raises hand to second the motion/ It couldn't hurt.
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So, he should take Mayson into the shower?
MAYSON: <likes that idea and thinks she’s a very diiiiirty girl>
LOIS: I was thinking more Hob's Bay.
But would that get her clean?
LOIS: Is that relevant?
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Duh! He’s a guy. Clark’s a guy. No attraction lost there.
So, everything has to do with sexual attraction, no matter what the story might be?
/points at ‘author’ column/
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She did not say he was doing a human.
CLARK: The ER thinks my girlfriend’s a sexbot?
LOIS: Grrrr. <distinctly unhappy> Girlfriend?
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Drawing diagrams?
CLARK: hyper Is that like Pictionary?
Yes, he always has to uncover two pieces that match.
CLARK: But you *like* to work with me, which means I can be right every once in a while.
LOIS: Don't press your luck.
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/points at The Pact by KatherineKent/
CLARK: Sooooo, she really wants a building to fall on her and Green Lantern to save the day?
Oops?
LOIS: *Or* the most obvious choice is the simplest. He's plain wrong.
CLARK: Right. Wait, that’s not a trope, is it?
CLARK: What do you mean they've tried your cooking? Great. Now we'll have Family Services on our back.
Perhaps she cooks when she's upset and she's constantly needing to replace her smoke detector batteries?
Uh-huh.
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Like in “What’s the difference between a college co-ed and an ADA?”
MAYSON: /confused/ I’m not a college co-ed. I have a law degree.
RALPH: I'm going to go with "A sense of humor".
And yet, they both want to put him into jail when she jumps out of a closet at a girls dorm, dressed as The Naked Man with a clown mask and very large shoes.
CO-ED: He was exaggerating with the shoes.
So, maybe Mayson has been sleeping with Church this whole time?
No, I’m sure that could get her disbarred.
Always.
Michael
