A new TOGOM to add to my favorites! Really fine job on the present tense POV from both Lois and Clark. You pulled that off marvelously. It made the story feel somehow richer; weightier maybe because you covered a lot of ground especially with Lois.
Because of the way Lois recalled her entire history with Clark, I realized something important about their relationship.
I think I'm in love with you.
I'm not sure where it came from or when it snuck up on me, because it definitely snuck up on me.
I definitely wasn't in love with you when we went to Smallville and your parents both teased and fawned over me even after I insulted them. And when you almost died at the hands of that delusional man, Jason Trask.
I definitely hadn't become attached to you or addicted to your presence when you threatened to leave Metropolis along with Superman during the heatwave.
I definitely wasn't attracted to you when we were sprayed with that pheromone perfume. Not remotely attracted. Only...infinitesimally. And definitely not, because you didn't seem to be attracted in return.
I definitely wasn't aroused and confused after that kiss in the honeymoon suite. That was just for cover. Nothing significant about that.
When the world was ending...I definitely didn't regret hiding my too big and too scary feelings from you. Because, in the end, the world didn't end.
And when...my world was ending, it definitely didn't hurt me that you didn't show up to the wedding I didn't want to have. I definitely didn't think about you before the ceremony or say your name with mine like they belonged together.
And I definitely didn't think of you and only you as I was walking down the aisle toward another man. An apparently obviously evil man, obvious to everyone in my social circle but me.
I could go on. And on. Because we've known each other for a year and a half now. If I'd loved you at all in that time, I would have known.
And it wouldn’t have devastated, crushed, and damn near killed me when you died last week.
Nope. Because being in love with you definitely snuck up on me.
The above opened my eyes to the fact that maybe I shouldn't be so hard on Clark for waiting so long to come clean with Lois. I just never could be okay with how long he lied to Lois. But in reality, Lois lied too! To Clark and herself--about her feelings. She "definitely did" love him all that time!!
Sara, you did an amazing job of relating the emotions that come from being hurt by someone you love; and how difficult it can be to overcome that devastation. It’s like a trapped feeling between love and hate.
I hate him and I love him. He hurts me and he heals me. He's such a contradiction, but I can't think beyond the basics—that I am hurting and I need him to hold me.
"I know. I'm so sorry, Lois. So sorry," he rasps out between shaky breaths, and I hold him tightly once more.
And it doesn't make sense. None of it makes sense. He's the one who hurt me. I don't even know...can't even begin to know how to process this.
"I don't know what to do, Clark. What do I do? What do we do?" I'm whispering again because I'm not sure if my voice even works properly.
"I don't know. I'm so sorr—"
I smack him hard right on the S, somehow not hurting myself, my hand against a steel chest, and I know he must be protecting me even now, especially now. But it doesn't protect me from the anger. "Stop saying sorry!" I yell, sitting up straighter now to look at him. "I know you're sorry. Make it better, Clark. Fix it. Don't be sorry. Fix it."
But Clark couldn't fix it. He could only be sorry about his painful mistakes. The only way to redeem their future together means Lois has to forgive; move past it all. And so she does. It's Lois Lane to the rescue!
This story has it all--the feels, angst and humor. Well done.
So glad you like happy endings too! It could easily have gone the other way
