Huge thanks to Darth_Michael for his feedback so that I can address the terrible oversight in not responding to Penny_Lane’s amazing feedback!!! I remember seeing in my email notifications at the time and reading it there, Penny, but must have totally forgotten to actually come to the boards and respond! Sorry!
A new TOGOM to add to my favorites! Really fine job on the present tense POV from both Lois and Clark. You pulled that off marvelously. It made the story feel somehow richer; weightier maybe because you covered a lot of ground especially with Lois.
Thank you! It was definitely not familiar territory, and AnnaBtG helped so much!! I’m glad it worked so well!
Because of the way Lois recalled her entire history with Clark, I realized something important about their relationship.
…(trimmed the story quote)
The above opened my eyes to the fact that maybe I shouldn't be so hard on Clark for waiting so long to come clean with Lois. I just never could be okay with how long he lied to Lois. But in reality, Lois lied too! To Clark and herself--about her feelings. She "definitely did" love him all that time!!
Oh, thank you!! As I’ve rewatched the series and then rewatched scenes for story research (writing SOOO much!!), I’ve noticed just how much there is and how early on it is! There’s one line in So Far Away, Lois recalling… How she'd ever managed to keep her hands off this man for two years, then wait another year before making love to him for the first time, she'd never know./But then her heart squeezed with the feeling of utter yearning and loss, an echo of the sharp pangs of grief she'd felt at the beginning of their date.../She hadn't ever kept her hands off him, and there had never been a day gone by that he hadn't touched her, either.
And it wasn’t that they couldn’t keep their hands off each other in the desirous sense, but that they were always so close and so comfortable, that little touches just came naturally to them!
[quote=Penny_Lane]Sara, you did an amazing job of relating the emotions that come from being hurt by someone you love; and how difficult it can be to overcome that devastation. It’s like a trapped feeling between love and hate.
Gah! Thank you so much! I’m always trying to get the emotions just right to be evoke similar emotions in my readers, so I love that you’ve pointed this out!!
This story has it all--the feels, angst and humor. Well done.
So glad you like happy endings too! It could easily have gone the other way
Oh, yes! Happy endings for sure! Thank again for such wonderfully detailed feedback—I’m sorry it took me so long to respond!
Maybe you think I don't notice, that I don't catalog these excuses of yours. Okay, so I don't catalog them or even write them down.
She could do a spreadsheet, color code them, calculate statistics, and extrapolate patterns.
Haha right??? I think if she really got mad enough and not derailed… she’d very well make him a power point presentation on how bad he is at lying and why he’s a jerk for it!
And definitely not, because you didn't seem to be attracted in return.
Is that an incorrect comma?
(Asks someone who places commas when ever it is allowed by grammar rules. It just felt strange here from the speech pattern and the conveyed intention)
It’s a rebelliously placed comma to make the reader pause, but also for clarity. Think of this sentence as being shortened (for tempo and pacing) from “And I definitely wasn’t attracted to you, because admitting that would be too vulnerable and scary because you didn’t seem to be attracted in return.
definitely wasn't aroused and confused after that kiss in the honeymoon suite. That was just for cover. Nothing significant about that.
Yes. Uh-huh. Oh, you mean the kiss on the show, not the one that was written about elsewhere. Yes, that, too.
Hahahaha! Sooooo many HiM and PML stories….
I didn't know. I didn't know then that it wasn't real, that you were still alive.
You really snuck that revelation in there!
I did! Pretty proud of that one! LOL!
But...there it is. Just sitting there staring at me, staring up at me from your kitchen table with the rest of your mail, asking me why you abandoned it instead of putting it in the fridge. How should I know? You abandon me all the time, and I never know why.
I love this part… I think because people were more amused by it than I ever imagined—that the CHEESE WAS REAL!
End Notes: For decades, I avoided the fate that apparently befalls all FoLC fanfic authors: I was hit with my first TOGOM story. Quite unexpectedly. I just meant to write about the Cheese of the Month...but turns out that excuse was used just the week after TOGOM, so I managed to run headlong into Angstville. And here we are.
Huh, true. Hmm…I haven’t yet. Then again, I may have done one or two evil endings so does anyone *really* want *me* to take a shot at TOGoM?
It’s gotta hit you at some point! Apparently it’s the law! But first…you’d better get your muse to finish that PML story!!
Thank you so much for the laughs and for picking out some of my favorite lines to “awww” or “clap” at!
Sara
