Hi Nick!
Yeah…
JORDAN: No no no, that's another fic series, Miss Grant. Set several years in the past of...this one. Please don't hit on my dad!
[He could ask Lois to take him for a test drive.]
Urm...he wants to REDUCE his stres level, not highten it!
Actually, I was referring to how Cat wanted to determine domestic vs import. This sort of activity should reduce stress level. Unless it’s done competitively. Of course, Clark would be competing with a Frenchmen in that discipline…
Well, at least the canles issue, he could easily solve with some proper use of heat vision.
I’m not sure Perry would appreciate if his lightbulbs all blow up.
Also...sometihng tells me Kal-El would not let Lex get to close in his...investigations of Lois.
KAL-EL: See? I got a certificate of ownership.
Never joke about Lex Luthor! You might just regret it!
See persons buried in Metropolis landfill.
Honestly...this kind of stuff is less "major deviation" and more "I hate to do all the copy-pasting of dialogue
Ah, yes. Me, I copy & paste the dialogue and then add about 10x the amount of text as exposition
Well, technically, Kryptonians do photosynthesis, so therefore, could be considered a plant, I assume.
LOIS (after getting dumped by Clark): Which would explain the brains…
Oooh, that...was not what I was going for. I can...see though why you would think so...but nope, that was just meant to mirror the "parva leaves" scene, but since its from Perry's POV this time...]
Ooops?
EVIL READER! Don't you know that the shiny spoiler buttons are there for a reason?
They highlight stuff you should notice while scrolling the scroll?
So that, for instance, people are supposed not to click on them *before* reading the story they are spoiling things about? Shame on you!
Ooops? I did retreat from said spoiler once I realized you were discussing a story you are posting instead of the mating habits of the Kryptonian Bipedal Muttonheaded Dolt.
Uh, that was actually meant to be refer to the "having too much work to handle and being overworked" bit, and less so the "married, listen to my wife" bit. Hmm...maybe I need to make that more clear?
Oh, and here I actually thought it was medication for getting sensory overload. But the wife-angle was much more fun so I went with that one.
[And she’s not happy that he went and does the menial work of the hired help. Or, does the hired help, for that matter.]
This..aspect of both "Clark Kent" and especially "Superman" will definitely come up with the Kryptonians in osme regards, so much can be said.
Zara’s gonna remark on her husband doing the hired help?
LOIS: I am *NOT* the hired help!
[Like that he’s talking to a human, non-alien lifeform actually born on Earth?]
Well...Perry's good, but...everyone is biased on some...basic assumptions?
Yes, but this *is* Metropolis. They even have military personal hunting down illegal aliens on a regular basis.
[Too many flashy dressed humans?]
Says the extra-flashy dressed Kryptonian superhero...
You know, Superman dressing in bright lime green and hot pink might be a … fun experience.
Party name for Extasy. I know, more of a stimulant, but it should at least make him care less about his troubles?
[Oooh, Globuli]
Well, only that the globe of the owner would...not exactly look like you'd expect.
Oops< I was referring to the little sugar balls sold for their weight in gold at Alternative Medicine stores.
[and for Aliens from outer space we got 1993 has one immigrant, 1994 had two,]
Are you really sure LC's relationship will go down tha tfast for the super twins to be born next year? IDK, they just tend to have some...issues...to sourt out first...
No no, 1993 it’s Clark. 1994, it’s Zara and Ching.
[and in 1995 there’s 200.]
Hmm, someone read ahead?
Well… the Kryptonian Invasion is kind of a staple when you do New Krytpon? Which reminds me… there’s nothing to see. Move along. No new story update is posted. Keep moving please. And we thank you for taking your pitchforks with you.
[Will Lois call the cops in the form of DEA agent Call-Me-Daniel on her drug pushing partner?]
LOIS: PARTNER?!!!! Don't you dare!
PERRY: You push my buttons, honey, and I push right back. Now, take your new partner and show him the archive.
LOIS: Fine. I’ll even be so nice and, also show him the printing press. He better *not* stumble and fall into it, though…
I'm not even sure if there are any "official" rules on this (and if people keep to these) anymore.
According to television, you are not supposed to imply a woman is anything but a spry 22-year-old.
[CAT: Someone said ‘mud fight’?]
Don't Cats hate anything wet?
MET STAR HEADLINE: Daily Planet building mysteriously destroyed duirng argument of the top reporters!
[Yes, they dull the brain to subtle social cues, significantly reducing the chance of men understanding women.]
Wait, that *can* even be reduced?
Considering what Clark did and the fact that the human race has not yet died out, apparently there’s an average. And a way to go below said average.
[Clark could offer her one of the pills. He could even explain they’re so she can calm down easier and not strain her heart with these … exuberant outbursts.]
That...might not be to his benefit. A calmed down, focussed Lois might be able to pay more attention to...certain things...he might not want her to find out yet...
That’s not the expected outcome.
I'm sure he could help her learn omre about how crowning works in...some...places.
Okay, I’m sure you did not just make a birthing reference…
[But Lois is used to investigating places no Cat has gone before.]
LOL. Also, Selina might have to say something about that...
SELINA: I took out the trash already /points at weirdly-eastern-looking heiress/ and the compost /points at leaves and red hair/. Your point being?
[And yet when Cat is curious and intends to investigate, it’s depravity.]
DAILY PLANET: Perry darling, could you bring me to bed please?
LOIS: I said ‘journalist’.]
CAT: Hey, I'm reporting on things people are interested in. It counts!
LOIS: And I do not?
CAT: Too easy.
And..its Lois, so what else did you expect?
Chocolate bars?
[Yes, but she needs a rescue puppy.]
KRYPTO: /wave/ New ficlet, anyone?
SHOW WRITER: Well, that's...a bit of a plothole, admittedly. But we kind of needed a living Lois to start before Superman arrives. Its called suspension of disbelief.
They mastered cloning way before the show started?
[She’s very cute!]
Something tells me she would not be happy to be called that.
/shrugs/
[Hi, people got to be billionaires before age 25 with less skills.]
/points at Alt-Jimmy/
True.
KAL-EL and LOIS: Not funny!
/takes another handful of popcorn/
[Yes, but he always had reasonable men as his opposite before.]
Erm...do you really think *reasonalbe* and *Lord Nor* belong in the same sentence?
KAL-EL: To be fair, I was raised in a medieval, misogynist society as a member of the ruling class. It gives you a … slightly different perspective of what a “reasonable man” is compared to other people.
Of course, the experiment fails when the data is manipulated (i.e. sneaky readers causing discord by cheating with Discord).
HAN SOLO VOICE: It wasn’t *my* fault!
[Yes, she’s the female leader of the Harem. Got it.]
Why is your dirty mind ALWAYS going to these naughty places? This is the g-fic section, remember? You just told me that.
There was a TV documentation a couple of years ago. They explained that it was more of a nunnery. A place of study and contemplation.
HENRY VIII: *Nunnery*
But then, Kal might enjoy a challenge... (no wait, that would basically make him Lex. Ah, forget about that last bit)
KAL-EL: /confused/ I thought the name of the city elder was Frank Berkowitz? Must have some data inconsisties there. Kelex, please re-evaluate this for me?
KELEX: I got you, Babe.
KAL: ...huh?
Kelex has a very Sunny disposition!
KELEX: Reference: Nor, Lord. The factual ruler of New Krypton, Nor was able to trick his political rival into voluntary exile on a primitive world while he himself was able to secure an alliance with Zara, the former wife from birth of Kal-EL.
]Nope. Also, very adorable!]
Well, he might have a soft spot for...soft humans.
[Let’s hope he doesn’t love the irony.]
Hmm, If he gets Tony Stark out of the picture, he could become Irony Man.
argh, how do I get out of this hole now?
If you keep burrowing, you will pop out on the other end?
Naaah... Wait, are you implying here Lois/Lex should have happened? Eek! AH, I'm sure Kal can be...enfuriating if he wants to. Plus bonus, glowing laser eyes on request!
I *was* referring to said lunkhead.
And, also, Clark is the secret identity this time. IDK, found that was an interesting dynamic.
Oooh, this means he can Kiss her and make everything okay again?
[Or generally anything that’s not gray gruel.]
You're quite good of following my implications on those little tihngs. Yeah, Krypto-food is not all tha tasty most of the time. Plus, with all the senses heightened, super taste would totally be a thing.
I might have a similar scene in an unpublished part of my New Krypton story…
Welll...there is this fic by Pam Jernigan where Clark starts a romance with a Ghost Lois...so...
I read it. I don’t remember it but I read all the Pam fic
Erm… I did manage to forgot some details of some fic I read. There were…many.
[It’s also good for keeping Loises alive and satisfied.]
VEry true. Thoguh, wouldn'te being alive alone be...satisfying? Ah, knowing you, that was not what you wee implying. But yeah, there sure might be some...creative opportunities coming from that...if/when both are...interested.
[[Yes, freshly rescued Loises make for great professional caregivers.]]
COUNCIL LEADER: So, point #1 for the next report, how many Loises does Earth offer? And what's the best ways to get them into trouble to be saved from...?
Lex could go into mass production?
[Documenting if your spaceship is parked in front of a fire hydra]
KAL-EL: Apparently, there have been gaps in my briefing. I was convinced HYDRA was...the other universe. I'm not properly prepared to deal with these weird people!
Actually, I was referring to the actual gorgon of Greek mythology.
Which is why he shows a sympathetic reaction instead of calling her out for her "whining" again like on the ball.
He’s very mature for an overgrown princeling. Not very much like Joffrey at all.
[Because he mentioned marriage.]
That's...an interesting line of thought.
People often want what they can’t have or believe is not good for them.
Well, Lois knows Perry had a point. But she can't just admit that. Cause she's never wrong in this regard. That's a FACT.
See Lois Lane Handbook Rule number 1. And Rule number 7. And Rule number 43.
[She can also report live how the bomb looks before it blows up.]
Weeel...live reporting in a newspaper is...difficult.
But much more funny!
Which...doesn't mean they're not going to make some regardless, but I hope it to be less than in canon. I'm trying.
Oh, look. Story’s over in three parts.
Self-awareness is not..always..their storn gsuit, isn't it?
Nope.
Yeahhh...Kal has to work on his secrecy skills.
I don't think its a huge spoiler to say that if/when Lois will learn the secret (or at least THAT part of the secret) its not going to take 44 installments to get there...
Uh, that's...a good point. It makes sense though? Like the explosion would lead the gas remnant to rise up rather than downwards.
I know.
[And all because of one nosey reporter. Poor colonists, prevented from ascending to heaven.]
You realize that this statement would be even more funny in German, right?
Aaactualy, you can use it that way in English, too, mainly for space stuff. Which is where he’s taking them to.
[Yes, it’s because he’s full of hot air.]
Oh my this is too hilarious! I laugehd SO hard! And not even wrong. I can't!
You are very welcome!
but...lets just say that Lois/Lex is not going to be a tihng around this time really...for a number of reasons.
Oh? Lex figured out he prefers elder British chaps?
[PERRY: Gas leak. Mass hallucinations. You got video?]
Oy, Good counter! As for video...I'm sure the space travel prep center would have one...somewhere..? Definitely today. Not sure about back in the day. I left it kind of ambigous (on purpose) when this is set, so...eh.
Oh, they had records. They might classify them, though.
ROFL, once more. Kal's resistance against that particular name is probably going to be a running gag. We'll see how good he'll be able to escape it.
He could switch to painted leather?
And like...there are thoe who are worse...
[LEX: I’m much fuller than him!]
...like HIM, for instance!
so the toybox won't be completely damaged, so much I can safely promise.
/notices how evil writer said ‘toy *box*’ instead of ‘toys’.
[Not really. They still rely on manual labor to reach orbit.]
Honestly, the science comment is a bit of a jab on my part on how the science in the show as in the what is possible an dall, seems to be so much ahead to the time it was being aired, despite them essentially implying its set in the (back-then) present. So, what the Kryptonians know to exist is basically the reality of that time, while what is actually going on, is the show sutff. Hope tha tmade sense? Ah, its just me having some fun.
Hey, I was just making fun of Kal-El being needed to carry the shuttle into orbit.
[/Inserts cross reference to ‘Spagoda, Ralph’/]
Also...HOW(!!) were you able to know I gave him just that name for the Planet meeting in the second installment that is ont even published yet? That...HOW?!
That one’s easy! Olympe / Lara Joelle Kent used the name in her Just Like Lois series (fic one, believe) and I think she got it from an earlier fic. Hmm… A New Hero, Chapter 38 by Classicalla. Later on, it was also used by Virgina in Wrong Clark.
[Good. He already has had several requests for mating.]
That's...actually not one of his goals here. (which is, note, not the same as saying it definitely won't happen) There are...reasons why that might actually be counter-interests. Again, mor eon that front, another time.
If the information he gets form there are not reliable, than it's a waste of time. Also, as far as possible, he wants to get through to the 'intelligent' part of the public, not those who will eat up everything anyway.
Yes, but if you control 90% of the masses, you don’t need to care about the 10%.
[Yes, but he could simply let the problem drop.]
...off his extra-high balcony?
It *is* a solution to the problem.
The hardest bit was probably to make sure to never use a self-reference name while in "ClarkPOV".
Oh yes. I did notice.
However, I absolutely, also on purpose, place a number of hints, some small, some big, throughout the entire thing, many of which you pointed out correctly. Then again, you chose to cheat, so its hard to say...but I'm fairly sure you'd have picked up quite a few of them anyway, after seeing your detective work on the GTA ficathon.
I honestly didn’t expect it, or remember it going in. But since Clark was being so weird, there weren’t many options and the alien plant would have been the final piece of the puzzle.
It was definitely an experiemtn out of curiosity on when readers would find out what's going on, how much they'd find out, and how much of a surprise the final end twist would be to them.
Oh yes. I love those. Did you ever check out the Who’s Talking ficlets on the Challenge Board?
Up to now, I had 8 people (6 here, 2 on AO3) commenting on this, and from at least half of them I know they didn't get the whole idea until the end, so maybe without the extra info it's not tha tobvoius? Hard to say as the writer. Expectatoins certainly matter, too.
I don’t know. I once did a beta job and pointed out that Lois must be pregnant when the story opened up with Lois prepping a meal for husband Clark and wanting to surprise him.
Hmm… I just re-read my FDK (the relevant part): The bit that stuck in my head (correct or wrong) was that there’s a recent story about Kal-El coming to Earth, probably already married to Zara. So, the wife bit was actually the biggest hint here
And sensory overload a couple of lines later would have cinched it otherwise for me.
He'd end up bieng Homelander wihtin the first episode.
True. Or a chimpanzee throwing his fecal matter against the wall.
/looks at calendar/ TWO MONTHS?! Where did all the time go? Gah!!
/points at giant black hole in middle of galaxy/
Also hope the quting worked fine... I tried something else again because using the original function would probably have resulted in a mess again.
It worked okay for me
Oh dear, this got to be another 10 pages. Hey at least it’s shorter than the previous one
Michael
