OK, you had me going when I was reading the story--until Jimmy PROPOSED to Lois and then jummped and. . . well you know the rest. (I was even worried about Red K with Clark's attitude and getting drunk.)

Great April Fools joke!

Johnny was a chemist,
Now Johnny is no more,
For what he thought was H two O
Was really H two S O four.
--Lab safety limrick--