Well, I was excited to see this chapter up and it was a nice little fill in the blank segment and nicely done. I remember Ann posting last time about not being happy about everyone justifying Clark's actions and trying to make Lois "understand" why he did what he did. I think more than anything, Clark needed to honestly realize that he was wrong and sincerely apologize to Lois--and he did, at least I think that's what he was doing.
Martha and Jonathan have always been fair and I think that they may have started to come to terms with the fact that Clark was wrong and though it was Clark's secret, maybe they should have insisted that he told Lois something to help her t not hurt s badly. But I guess it's all water under the bridge now.
Clark reached out and placed his hand on top of hers. “Thank you,” he whispered.
“And for telling me you love me. I know what it cost you to say that,” Clark said, another yawn breaking free before he could continue. “And I know the last thing you want is to put ideas in my head. But Lois, I don’t have any ideas. I know that regardless of how you feel or how I feel, you can never trust me enough for us to be anything other than friends. But I want you to know that this isn’t a problem for me. You’re willing to be my friend is already so much more than I deserve after what I did to you. Please know that I appreciate all you’ve done for me the past few weeks.”
Lois shifted uncomfortably, not knowing what to say. In a quiet voice she replied, “I’ll always be there for you, Clark. Maybe not in the way you’d like, but…” her voice trailed off as she ran out of words to use. “You should know that you can always come to me after a difficult rescue or if you need someone to talk. Not just to give me a story, but because I know that whatever the history between us is, you sometimes need someone to talk to. I’ll always be willing to be that person.”
Lois tried not to respond as she saw Clark’s eyes fill with tears. “You… Lois, you’re amazing. I know that to be fair you shouldn’t be talking to me at all, you should be kicking me out of your apartment. You shouldn’t care at all about the kryptonite – whether or not I live or die.”
Lois gasped and moved to put her arms around him. “Don’t say that!” she admonished him. “The world needs Superman. Of course I care whether or not you live or die.”
Clark sniffled slightly. “I don’t deserve you,” he whispered.
Lois smiled slightly, “No, you don’t. Now go to sleep.”
I'm not sure that an apology can come any more sincere and detailed than that. So often just out of habit, we apologize as a formality and miss the whole point of what we are apologizing for. I think Clark has a grasp here because he is going back and covering most of his basis. He is also realizing how much Lois has sacrificed for him, financially but mostly emotionally. Lois's words to Clark about not being married because she was in love with him--have had an emotional impact on Clark and I think he is ow just at his wit's end. He has almost suffered the death of his relationship with Lois. Before, he could pretend that they still had a friendship because he was Superman but now that everything is out in the open, Clark knows that he doesn't have a chance of anything more than being an acquaintance to Lois and it's almost as if he's saying that he'd rather be dead. He is reflecting his thoughts onto Lois and she agrees that he does not deserve her but she'll be his friend--only. She does care about him and what happens to him or she wouldn't be accommodating him but Clark has hit an emotional rock bottom.
Hopefully, they'll work through this. As wrong as he was, it hurts me for them to be so much in love and not do anything about it.
Finally, returning to Perry’s question, he said, “I can’t recall. But it doesn’t matter. We know some of it was used for the cage and the bullet and I don’t know how much for either.”
“The cage?” asked Lois, Jimmy, and Perry.
Lois hadn't put together yet that Lex had Clark locked up on their wedding day.
I think this was a great chapter and I am anxious to read the next one. I'm still with you. Keep it coming!
~Sheila
