Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Ten Years in the Making (16/?)

Well, I was excited to see this chapter up and it was a nice little fill in the blank segment and nicely done. I remember Ann posting last time about not being happy about everyone justifying Clark's actions and trying to make Lois "understand" why he did what he did. I think more than anything, Clark needed to honestly realize that he was wrong and sincerely apologize to Lois--and he did, at least I think that's what he was doing.

Martha and Jonathan have always been fair and I think that they may have started to come to terms with the fact that Clark was wrong and though it was Clark's secret, maybe they should have insisted that he told Lois something to help her t not hurt s badly. But I guess it's all water under the bridge now. I'm not sure that an apology can come any more sincere and detailed than that. So often just out of habit, we apologize as a formality and miss the whole point of what we are apologizing for. I think Clark has a grasp here because he is going back and covering most of his basis. He is also realizing how much Lois has sacrificed for him, financially but mostly emotionally. Lois's words to Clark about not being married because she was in love with him--have had an emotional impact on Clark and I think he is ow just at his wit's end. He has almost suffered the death of his relationship with Lois. Before, he could pretend that they still had a friendship because he was Superman but now that everything is out in the open, Clark knows that he doesn't have a chance of anything more than being an acquaintance to Lois and it's almost as if he's saying that he'd rather be dead. He is reflecting his thoughts onto Lois and she agrees that he does not deserve her but she'll be his friend--only. She does care about him and what happens to him or she wouldn't be accommodating him but Clark has hit an emotional rock bottom.

Hopefully, they'll work through this. As wrong as he was, it hurts me for them to be so much in love and not do anything about it. Lois hadn't put together yet that Lex had Clark locked up on their wedding day.

I think this was a great chapter and I am anxious to read the next one. I'm still with you. Keep it coming!

~Sheila

I caught up on this last night and am enjoying it. I may not agree with what Clark has done but I understand it. I didn't have an issue with Becky dying - I can see how she'd be upset and crying and not paying attention, but deaths like that don't bother me the way they do Ann. John? he said that even though he wasn't dead he'd given up his life.

Perry's WPP was a stroke of genius. While I also don't agree with Clark making decisions for her, he watched out for her the best he could. I actually agree with him forcing her to go to see a therapist. It's much easier for him to force someone to do something than the average person, though he'd never hurt her in the forcing. Sometimes, in a cycle of depression like that, the person can't force themselves out of it no matter how much they might want to and need that outside shove.

I agree with whoever said that Lois has to take some responsibility for her own life. Yes, Clark wasn't dead this time, but people do die, every day. Those who are left behind have to decide what they're going to do with their lives afterwards. On whatever level, Lois decided what she was going to do, by shutting out Perry and Jimmy and everyone else until it reached the point Clark had to force her to get help as mentioned above. Once she reached that point, she needed that shove, but before then she had opportunities to reach out and didn't.

I did notice that the TOC is only updated through part 10... dunno who might be able to fix that or if I just missed the rest of it somewhere. I know this FDK is a bit disjointed, but I was up half the night with kids .

Carol [who doesn't understand how someone made it into one of her online classes without knowing how to copy/paste and doesn't know how to describe it to her any better]

Wow, Anonpip, I really can't complain this time, can I?

Apologies everywhere! And there was more, too. Clark apologized and thanked her, and apologized and thanked her. I'm very glad that he did, but even I have to admit that he doesn't have to beat himself up anymore. He can't go back and change the past, and after all these heartfelt apologies, it is impossible to ask him that he should keep blaming himself. Personally I wasn't very angry at him in the previous chapter - yes, I was irritated at how he reacted to the fact that Lois had bought a new couch, but he more than made up for that here. I was a lot more angry at Martha and Perry, but they, too, really made amends here. I loved this:

Sniffle! That almost made me cry. Yes, because I have often felt that no one cares much about Lois in this fic. Here I could feel how Lois responded to the caring and concern from Martha, Jonathan and Perry like a desiccated plant responds to life-giving water. It warmed my heart that Lois felt cared for! So now I have no objections to the idea of Martha and Jonathan becoming her in-laws... well, unless they start acting like real jerks again, but I really, really don't think they will.

So now I want to see the A-plot resolved! Who is behind the kryptonite? It really should be someone with a lot of resources and an overwhelming desire to see Superman dead. Luthor, Intergang, Trask... yes, I think we are looking for that kind of people. But how did the person responsible for this mess manage to spread the kryptonite in the atmosphere? And how can Lois and Clark, or Dr Klein, or anyone, get it out of there?

Like Sheila, I noticed that Lois wasn't aware that Clark had been locked in a kryptonite cage in Luthor's wine cellar (or wherever it was). I wonder if that is important, or maybe it is just part of the fact that in this fic, Lois and Clark never got close enough in the past to notice a couple of things: Clark almost certainly didn't realize that Lois turned down Lex because she suddenly understood that she wanted to marry Clark instead, and Lois didn't know that Clark had tried to come to her rescue, but he had almost died in Luthor's kryptonite cage when he tried to do that for her.

Anyway, it's time to look ahead now, and to deal with present problems and, later, to resolve the B-plot by working from where Lois and Clark are standing now, ten years after that night in the what's-its-name club and Clark's decision not to come clean with Lois. But that was then. This is now.

Ann

Again I embarrass myself by having nothing intelligent to contribute to this thread, other than to say that I'm still reading. But then I know you appreciate that in itself, so I refuse to feel bad!

Eek! Carol, that's my fault! Thanks for bringing it up. I haven't created a story TOC now in so long that I forget that I have older ones to maintain. Without your reminder, we probably would have needed Labby to rescue it, so thanks again!

I have been a silent reader of this and a number of other fics - I just can't get in gear of leaving feedback the way I used to. So it's doubly good that Carol has prompted me to speak up here.

I too am very happy with the way this story is evolving. I personally don't agree with some of Ann's earlier comments that Clark needed to be taken to task more, but certainly there have been apologies all around and explanations of hurt feelings and everyone is very sincere and sorry for their mistakes. And that's all anyone can do when they make a mistake, right: be genuinely sorry and contrite and do your best to fix that mistake (if possible) and to ensure that you don't do it again.

And I do see light for L&C's relationship at the end. But now I'm equally riveted by the A-Plot. The kryptonite dust on the balcony came as a complete surprise, and then to learn how completely widespread it is. No matter how big the piece is that Luthor had, would there be enough dust to cover such large geographical areas, or is it being manufactured somehow? That prospect would obviously be even more scary, if kryptonite can be created on demand. I'm curious to know what happens next.

Kathy

A strong, emotional instalment.

I've always been in the camp that says Clark had justification for not telling Lois he didn't die at Georgie Hairdo's club. First, in his eyes, Clark Kent for all intents and purposes did die that day, and in this story, has been dead for ten years. Also, as mentioned in other posts, people die, and their friends and loved ones have to deal with their grief and then move on with their life. This is what Clark wanted Lois, and others to do. Grieve for the loss of their friend (which, at the time, is all he thought he was to them)and move on.

Where this logic gets shaky is once he, and others who can point it out to him, figure it out that Lois is grieving far beyond what would be normal for the lost of a close friend. He should've made a point of finding out why she didn't seem to be able to move on and come to the realization the Lois had been in love with him. That love gives her more rights to the knowledge of what really happened.

Unlike Jimmy, or Perry, or Cat, or Eduardo, or any other friend or aquaintance that Clark had, Lois had moved to a catagory that was more on a par with his parents, and there was never a doubt that he wouldn't tell his parents the truth even though their relationship had to change significantly also.

Lois deserved to know the truth, and then she would be better equipted to make a decision on how to spend the rest of her life. If nothing else, the guilt she felt that she was responsible for Clark's death would be relieved. Whatever relationship they would have from that point would be something that they could figure out from there. Lois is a smart woman, she would know that she couldn't have any sort of open relationship with Clark, but she should have had the option to realize that for herself.

What it comes down to is the classic Lois and Clark angst formula. Lack of communication. Lois didn't realize until it was too late how she felt for Clark and so she didn't communicate that to him. And Clark, held onto his thinking that Lois didn't want him to be in love with her so he took back his admission in the park and held onto the 'friends only' status quo.

Gee, I wonder how many Lois and Clark fanfic would disappear if Lois and Clark just talked to each other .

Good story, looking forward to more.

Tank (who still thinks it's going to be a long tough road to get this set-up to a happy ending... if there is one)

Thanks for all the great reviews!

Sheila-

Why, thank you!

I'm so glad this sounded sincere. I am a terrible apologizer (just ask my husband, he'd be happy to provide countless examples). I probably should feel worse that I know what to say for someone else since I'm so bad at doing it myself, but really, I felt that Clark always seemed to know what to say, and so he would not hold back in apologizing either.

Carolm-

I have to admit, that just fell into my lap. It just occurred to me one day out of the blue (I hadn't even been thinking about the story at the time). I wish I had more ideas like this one. Usually I agonize over things and don't think of anything even remotely believable.

It's interesting – I wrote this in the story as it fit with how Clark was treating her. But I agree with you. Growing up, a family member of mine suffered from depression. We talked about hospitalizing them, but they were really against it and in the end we bended to their desire. It worked out somewhat okay in the end with them getting over their depression, but in recent years I've had the chance to discuss depression with several doctors and see now that we would have better served them by forcing the issue. Depression is a mental illness and it's fair to treat someone with a mental illness as someone who can not make the best decisions for themselves.

My husband has heard some recent evidence that says that you should medicate depression even if you think you can get over it on your own. Depression can cause permanent changes in your brain and so even if you do get over it, you won't be as healthy as if you'd treated it early on. Sadly, I see this with the family member who suffered depression. While they don't anymore, nor are they the same person I think they were before the depression (this was before I was born, but based on the stories I've heard). I've chosen not to deal with this in this fic – Lois is essentially fully recovered, but basically, I see good reason to force a clinically depressed person to get help against their wishes.

Of course, this does not go for sending articles to Lois' editor and other things Clark did for Lois' own good. There he's just supposed to be Clark – trying hard and having good intentions, but being a bit of an idiot and treating Lois poorly.

TOC-

I am so tempted to say, “Of course, you can.” But I've decided instead to appreciate this. So, thanks!

So, I actually wrote the part with Clark's apology before I posted the last part (so before you had a chance to leave feedback). The point of it was a bit like Sheila said – Clark is sincerely sorry. More than anyone else, he's always been able to see through Lois and so, having spent so much time with her recently, he realizes now how much he hurt her. This both makes him apologize as he sincerely feels badly and because quite frankly, he's depressed. Despite “knowing” that he and Lois would never have a relationship once he died, it's different now and the knowledge makes him sad. And also all the more appreciative for what a great friend Lois has been to him the last few weeks. So, I intended for Clark to “beat himself up”. It's how he's feeling. It's the problem with screwing up as badly as he did. Once he realizes it, he just feels awful and it's hard for him to forgive himself. This leads to him apologizing to Lois because he feels sorry.

So many questions, so little time… Some of this will be answered in the next chapter, but probably not all. It's only half way done now, though, and I'm not 100% sure where I want to leave off.

It's not really important. It is a sign (as you say) of where Lois and Clark where when he died. They were getting closer, but not that close yet and so Clark had never told Lois about the cage.

Gr8shadesofElvis-

And I continue to appreciate it, so you can continue not to feel bad.

KathyM-

Take a lesson from gr8shadesof Elvis.

I'm just kidding. I am horribly guilty of this type of behavior myself, so I completely understand.

It really does make me somewhat disgustingly happy to hear this. I have a hard time deciding when I write something if it sounds stupid and only holds together with all the extraneous information I haven't written that's in my head (or doesn't hold together at all), so it really is great to hear others like it.

Wow! That would be scary! I hadn't considered that. That would be a great idea for a story, but it won't be this one. (I'm happy to read someone else's take on it, though. How would that get resolved?)

Tank-

Thank you!

Definitely! The idea for this story came to me because I, too, thouhgt Clark was within reason not to tell Lois that he was Superman when he was shot. But I wondered how far that could be carried and when it would be too far. This is definitely it (and this could probably have been Two Years in the Making and still been too far) but I could see Clark doing this. I think Clark, while generally a caring guy who would do just about anything for Lois, tends to get too wrapped up in making sure Lois loves him for him and not for Superman and feeling badly for himself as he doesn't see that she does care for Clark. While he clearly doesn't go this far in the TV show, I think he tends this way – to be so caught up in bemoaning Lois' lack of feelings for him that he doesn't see them at all. This is just that taken to the extreme.

I hope not. I am heading toward a conclusion soon (although I'm still having trouble determining how soon is soon).

I've been thinking more about this story, and I believe that one thing that makes it so captivating is that you have picked some aspects and shortcomings of Lois and Clark and brought them to extremes, thereby making them more visible, and in some ways more provocative.

What happened to Lois and Clark when when Clark was offcially killed in your fic? Lois became passive, helpless and clinically depressed. She dropped out of sight. For me, who have read the comics for years, this is sadly believable. Why? Because in the comics, Lois simply had no part to play if Sueprman wasn't interested in her. It wasn't really possible to imagine Lois in a world without Superman, because what on earth was she supposed to do with herself in it? She was nothing on her own. In the Superman mythos, Lois never had an existence of her own, independently of Superman.

Like Lois, Clark has never existed without Superman. But Superman has certainly existed without Clark. I have read more comics than I care to remember where Superman has had nothing to do with his mild-mannered reporter persona, and where he has certainly never interacted with Lois in any way. These comics have been full of a hero in red and blue, monotonously fighting villains and monsters.



Superman without Lois and Clark. Boy, have I seen a lot of him.

Of course, Anonpip, your Superman has never been a testosterone-filled fighter, but a hero who helps people:



But for a long time your Superman was without Lois and Clark. And because I have so often seen Superman as someone who is aloof from humanity, I had no problems picturing your Superman as a loner who split his time between his foster parents' home in Smallville and various locations on the Earth where he carried out his Superman duties. Also, I could imagine him being not exactly content but still more or less okay with this lonely existence.

I've been thinking of the much-talked-about book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, in connection with this fic. According to that book (which I haven't read myself) men are doers, while women are talkers. This means that a typical woman wants to talk to her husband/fiance/boyfriend/partner about the relationship she has with him, and she wants him to tell her that he loves her. But the typical male wants to show his love for his woman by doing manly chores for her, such as repairing broken machinery.

So what happened when Clark was shot? I got the impression that no one really talked to Lois about how she felt about the whole thing. No one asked about her feelings. Clark - or rather Superman, the typical uncurious doer - came to her and tried to persuade her to see a shrink, when he realized that she was depressed. When she had had enough of his callous meddling and responded by dropping out of sight, Clark shrugged it off and went about his Superman duties as usual.

Clark had his first real shock many years later, when he not only came across Lois again, but she had learnt that he used to be Clark. Her fury and contempt, when she told him that he might as well be dead for real as far as she was concerned, must have shaken him deeply. How could she be so impossibly angry at him? What had he done?

As usual, Clark the doer responded not by trying to listen to what Lois said and understand her reaction. No, he responded by doing things for her. Again and again he came to her apartment to give her another Superman interview and help her re-start her reporting career.

Was Lois blameless through all of this, then? Of course not! LnC Lois differs from all other Loises in that she fell in love with Clark almost right away, but she violently denies that fact to herself, and even more to others. No, Clark - Superman - never asked her why she was so depressed after Clark's death, but she certainly didn't volunteer any information, either.

So Clark lunkheadedly believed that Lois merely tolerated Clark and loved only Superman. Obviously she had no good reason to be depressed because Clark died, then. Trying to bring Clark back would therefore be a waste of time. But since Lois was clearly depressed, for some very strange reason, she needed to see a therapist and possibly get some medication.

But when Lois finally blurted out that she loved Clark, Clark himself was devastated. Now he is the one who's sinking into depression. How could he have made such a mistake? How could he have misjudged the situation so completely? How could he have treated Lois so badly? How can he be Superman again now that he knows that he is such an unfeeling lunkhead?

I wonder if you think that I'm criticizing your fic again, anonpip. Well, this isn't meant to be any sort of criticism. I'm just trying to put into words what the heck happened in this fic, and how things could go so wrong between Lois and Clark. I guess Tank put it best (and so much shorter):

I think it is interesting that Clark is depressed, mainly because that means that he now understands how he wronged Lois. I don't think he understood that before. But I hope that he and Lois both have learnt a lesson here: they really should talk to each other and listen to each other. If Clark - or Superman - had listened to Lois after she was so devastated after Clark's death, maybe her depression could have been avoided, and maybe they could have brought Clark back so much sooner. If Lois can listen to Clark and encourage and comfort him now that he is depressed, maybe they will stand a much better chance to defeat the kryptonite threat. And maybe they can really find a way to have a happy future together.

This is a compelling fic, Anonpip.

Ann

Ann, I think you've made my week. Or maybe even my month. (I'd go further, but there's always the chance my husband will peek over my shoulder, see what I'm writing, and be offended). The fact that anyone is thinking about my fic when I haven't posted anything new is really pretty neat.

So, you can probably tell already that I did not take your post as criticism (although, as I've said before, I like your criticism – it's very constructive). And I do see the story in a pretty similar way as you've explained it here. It's a world where Lois and Clark exist but stopped being Lois and Clark. It's been so long that they are having trouble getting there again. I think I found this idea particularly interesting for the very reason that despite the fact that I grew up with a brother who is still a Superman fanatic (in a somewhat scary sense), I never really got all that into any Superman movies, comics, the old TV show, etc, except Lois and Clark. I find Lois and Clark intrinsically interesting. In my eyes, Superman is just a nice plot device. (Sorry, I'm sure I've offended some of you with this. But this is just my view. Having the aforementioned Superman fanatic as a brother, I recognize that others find Superman as important a character as Lois and Clark.)

So for me, Lois and Clark not being Lois and Clark is just so wrong and so weird, I had to write it. And I have to say, I tried hard to make Lois a real person before Clark shows up again – getting over her depression, taking care of Sammy, etc. And while I do kind of like the image this makes of Lois, a slightly softer Lois, she still isn't Lois to me. Lois is someone, like Clark, who does everything she can to make the world a better place. Taking care of Sammy is useful to Lucy, but Lois was meant for bigger things.

The analogy with Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus is really interesting. I hadn't really thought about it in this way – Lois needed to talk, Clark just kept doing, but it is very accurate. It was just the way I saw them acting. So, I guess I buy that men and women are like that. Well, some of them, at least.

Yes! This is exactly right (in my mind, anyway). For years, Jonathan and Martha have been telling Clark to just tell her, but he stubbornly refuses to. His reasoning is that it would only hurt her to know that he was alive since he can't have a relationship with her. But this only works because he's such a lunkhead he doesn't see that he is the reason she's so depressed – he's already hurt her. And this is why he's depressed now. Because while he is a lunkhead and more than a bit self-indulgent (in my mind, at least, this is why Clark in LnC manages to propose to Lois before telling her his secret – because he has decided that Lois must choose Clark over Superman and apparently she must do it in a ridiculously final way), he does truly love her. And so now that he gets how much he hurt her, it's like ten years of guilty have been poured on top of him. In Clark's eyes, he would never do anything to hurt Lois, so he can not deal now with the fact that he has.

I can only hope that the rest of my fic is compelling as well. I have to admit, my biggest weakness as a writer is that I write things that make the story interesting to me at the time and deal with the consequences later. I did not start this story with any thoughts about kryptonite dust. I wasn't even thinking about an A-plot. It was just at some point, I decided the B-plot would be better served if Clark passed out. So I wrote that and hoped I'd think of a good reason why he had. Viola – kryptonite dust was born. But not until after I'd already posted the part with Clark passing out. So, honestly, there's still parts of this story I haven't figured out how I'm going to solve. Honestly, the only reason Clark didn't “come back to life” sooner than he did was that I had no idea how to do it. And this does make me think I could do something stupid and ruin the whole thing.

Actually, that's not quite true. Lois fell instantly head over heels for Superman, and was so bowled over by him that he filled all of her romantic thoughts and fantasies. She quickly grew close to Clark and let him behind her defensive walls in a way that no one else could enter, but this was as a best friend, not as a romantic suitor. In All Shook Up she referred to him "like a brother", in Barbarians at the Planet "I don't think about you in that way...romantically".

A lot of fanfic takes the approach that Lois did harbor romantic feelings towards Clark for a very long time before she admitted them to herself or anyone else. Knowing what we do about Lois' character, that very well could be true. But we never actually saw that on the show, and it was never referred to. At the end of That Old Gang of Mine, Lois reveals that maybe there is more than friendship, which definitely puts both of them on the path to romance.

Kathy

Although this is a little late, I know you won't mind...

I'm in the same boat as gr8shades here. I'm still reading and loving the story, and although I don't have a lot of in depth comments like Ann always does, I thought I'd just send you a message and tell you that.

Sorry, Beth. I just noticed this.

Yup, I appreciate comments anytime, no matter how brief. Thanks for letting me know you are still reading.