I echo everything everyone else has said. This is a well-told story. You've made Clark's sacrifice come alive with the Lana angle, and you've made Lois' pain and disillusionment shimmer and dance in the moonlight for us.
My only problem is that I have a hard time buying Clark marrying Lois for five years (five years?!?!) because of Navance. There must be something else going on that you haven't told us about, or the US government wouldn't care about some nutty dictator who likes to boost his private illusion of his virility and studliness. Dan and Jill were awfully convincing, and I find it hard to believe that the US couldn't bring diplomatic pressure on Navance to make him back off.
Unless, of course, there is even more to this story than meets the eye. Maybe Dan is really working with Navance on some covert espionage thing. Maybe the guns were really for freedom fighters and Sam's girlfriend is an agent, and the reason she was trying to split up Sam and Lois was to protect Lois from the collateral damage if this whatever-it-is went south all of a sudden. Maybe Navance is really a good guy and this was the best cover story they could come up with on such short notice to get Clark and Lois out of the country alive and away from the real bad guys.
Or, maybe it's exactly what Clark and Lois have seen so far. If so, that's a little thin, but it's not unbelievable. Although I suspect that Jonathan, Martha, and Sam will learn the truth before too long. That bit about keeping the real story from their parents set off some red flags for me. I think there's danger from somewhere just around the corner, and Clark is going to have to reveal his powers to Lois, if to no one else.
I am awaiting the next two chapters. Sunday afternoon or evening, you said?
