Wow! Loved these chapters! Talk about intense! I'm so glad they are being honest with each other. I'm glad Clark is being forced to admit that he would much rather be with Lana, but I'm also glad he told Lois what happened in the library, and that he doesn't want to be alone with Lana now. I'm also glad he told Lois about his planned proposal to Lana.
It is kind of heartbreaking that Clark admits to Lois that he does want Lana back after he and Lois gets divorced
in five years. Hearing your husband talk like that can't put any woman in good spirits. For all of that, I understand Clark.
But does Clark understand himself? I'm not sure. That final question he asked himself at the end of chapter 39 was an extremely good one. Why did he follow Lois on board that plane, instead of staying with Lana? Part of the reason is undoubtedly that Clark is a natural-born hero, and because he is invulnerable he thought that he was in no danger himself, and he couldn't let anything horrible happen to Lois. But was that the whole reason?
I'm thinking about this soulmate thing. Clark has grown up thinking that Lana is his soulmate. His head and his conscious mind is convinced that he is in love with Lana. But couldn't it be that his subconscious is wiser than the rest of him?
I'm convinced that Clark made love to Lois in the cabin. Technically he had sex with her, but really he made love to her. His subconscious was aware that Lois had saved his life, and now she was laying next to him, keeping him warm, and he reached out to her. And she reached back out to him. And they made love. Similarly, I think it was Clark's subconscious that took over and forced him to make the split-second decision that Lois was more important than Lana, and he had to follow Lois into the plane.
In other words, I think that Lois really
is Clark's soulmate, but Clark's conscious mind can't see it or admit it.
It could be that Lois is so heartbroken partly because her subconcsious knows that she has met her soulmate, but he is not responding to her. Being married to the person who is your soulmate and yet is not in love with you, and who is practically counting the days until he can divorce you, must be heartbreaking.
But Lois should fight harder for Clark's love. Of course she must first acknowledge that she loves Clark in the first place and she does want him! Maybe that is why it was so necessary for her to hear him say that there really was a chance, however microscopic, that he would one day make love to her, even though he was sober and knew what he was doing.
But Lois should ask Clark to be involved with the baby, too. She should ask him to come with her the next time she has any sort of check-up. And she should show him the ultra sound pictures of the baby. That way Clark can admit that he has already seen them, and he can ask her why she is shutting him out from anything that concerns the baby.
This is an incredibly fascinating tale, Carol!
Ann
