I'm sorry to buck the trend, but as a reader I have to give my honest opinion.
Aside from the first few brilliant parts which hooked me in complete with wow factor, I have to say the rest of this story was disappointing.
In summary, both Lois and Clark felt out of character, Clark remained unredeemable even to the end for me.
Navance was the A-plot that never happened (and the only cuddly dictator I've ever heard of with no teeth, bite or presence).
Mindy was a similar non-threatening threat.
The second bad guy, PLUS Clark's brother introduced in the tail end of this monster detracted and diverted from the original story. Those two new characters in themselves are a story on their own without complicating the Lois/Clark/Lana/Navance plotline. There was so much more on the first A-plot that has left me hung in the air going "what the?"
The ending felt rushed and in some ways incomplete. Everything was wrapped up too quickly and conveniently to make it believable for me as a reader.
I'll send you a priv msg to explain WHY I felt your lead characters were out of character if you like Carol. Let me know if you want me to.
Not everything about your fic was a complete disappointment. I loved your portrayal of the Martha and Jonathan... the whole Kent family really, and the back story (despite the repetition) of Martha, Chris, Clark and Jonathan. I also thought you grounded Sam pretty well too.
I had a hate/like relationship with your Lana, but again, I feel like in the end she was wrapped up quickly for the convenience of whatever deadline you had.
I persevered and read the whole thing despite my frustration, but in the end I guess this fanfic was not for me.
Regards
Lisa
