Shadbolt jolted backwards, his heart hammering, his brain reeling. He spread his hand across his mouth, his fingers and thumb pressing deeply into his cheeks as he braced himself to look again. It was still there - the bony deadpan face of a skeleton surrounded by a shock of dark hair.
You know, I do find it curious that he hasn't reached the obvious conclusion: The rods killed the prisoner and he immediately started to decompose

I did *not* see this coming. Also, it wasn't strictly necessary for the story, after all, he could have just followed orders and not gone to the compound. So, what else is going to go on there?
He took the two cups, and Lois lifted a flap from the centre console, revealing two hollow rings and a rectangular depression.
For some reason his line stuck. I've got no idea, but had the fast food industry already evolved into cars having hidden food holders and people regularly eating in their cars while driving? Otherwise, this might be a serious
Can't wait for the next part!
Michael