Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Another Kind Of Superhero 2/2

From Part 1:

All three of us stare at the closed living room door in shock. Maggie has started to cry again, a panicky tone to her voice that makes my heart clench with the same fear that she’s feeling right now. I never thought that Lois would actually leave. I can’t claim that I truly understand what’s going on in her mind right now. But I can imagine how unfair this must feel. Maggie’s been a Daddy’s girl almost from the day she was born. Admittedly, Lois does most of the work, dries most of her tears. But when I’m around, Maggie often acts as if Mommy’s not even there. I can’t even begin to understand how this must hurt Lois.

I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to rush after her and bring her back. I know I need to apologize – more than that. But my battered body is not willing to cooperate. Besides, I need to take care of Maggie and Nate and a whole house that’s been thoroughly turned upside down by our kids. I try to swallow down the groan that is threatening to escape my lips as I realize that I just can’t fall apart on the couch right now. I squeeze my eyes shut as another wave of dizziness hits me and I desperately try not to sway.
Oh boy, I could really use some TLC right about now.


Part 2

Maggie’s crying becomes more insistent. “Mommy!
Mommy!”

“Shh, Maggie, darling. It’s okay. Mommy’s coming back.” I try to soothe her.

“Do you really think she will?” Nate’s voice sounds hollow; his face is pale. “You guys have been fighting a lot, lately. Do you think she’s going to want a divorce?” He turns to me and I can see raw fear in his eyes.

I have no idea if Maggie understood what her brother said, if she’s even got any idea what a divorce is – but the tone of Nate’s voice, his distress seems to be getting to her as well. She’s crying even harder, burying her small face in the crook of my neck and clutching at me for dear life. I rock her gently and rub her back as I slowly walk over to the couch.

Nate follows us.

As I sit down, I place Maggie on my lap and embrace her. Gradually, she calms down and her desperate cries turn into shuddering sobs.

“I’m sure, Mom’s coming back.” I desperately hope that I’m not mistaken. “It’s true, your Mom and I had a lot of arguments lately. I probably deserved most of them. “

Nathan shakes his head vigorously. “No, you didn’t. She’s being unfair. You’re…”

“Nate!” I admonish him.

We don’t mention my other identity in front of Maggie, at least not yet. I don’t want to risk that she’s blurting out my secret. And she’s not yet old enough to understand why it’s important not to talk about certain things.

“Sorry, Dad.” Nate blushes at his mistake. “But it’s true anyway. What you do is important! The world needs you. Why can’t she see that?”

It’s safe to say that Nate has thoroughly replaced Lois as the world’s biggest Superman fan. He was already a huge fan when he still thought that Superman was just a distant hero who lived above the clouds. Now that he knows that Superman really is his dad, his infatuation has somehow been blown out of proportions. I guess it’s another thorn in Lois’ side. It’s hard to compete with a larger-than-life father, who seemingly can do no wrong. Nate’s always finding excuses for me and I know that he secretly hopes that, one day, he’s going to develop powers of his own. His view of Superman is far too idealistic.

I heave a sigh. “Oh, she knows that. But what about her? What Mom’s doing is just as important – if not more.”

While Nate looks more than a little bewildered at my statement, Maggie starts to tug at my shirt. “Why are you so wet, Daddy?”

I had completely forgotten about that. I smile at her. “Daddy got caught in the rain. Oh, look at you, pumpkin, now you’re all wet, too. And somehow I think that you also need a fresh diaper. ”

“No diaper.” Maggie shakes her head until I start tickling her. She giggles. “No diaper.”

“You sure?” I wriggle my brows at her and she cracks an impish smile. If it wasn’t for the smell, her reaction alone would have been a dead giveaway. I pick her up again, though Maggie is still struggling against me. “Come on, pumpkin. You’ll feel better once we’ve changed you into something dry and less smelly. And when we get down again, we’ll have supper.”

Maggie decides to give in to her fate and lets me carry her upstairs. Nate is still sitting on the couch and obviously mulling over the question if the job of a mother could possibly be more important than Superman’s. Or perhaps he’s thinking about something else entirely, after all I’m not a mind reader. And so far, I haven’t found that Kryptonian telepathy works with my kids.

With some difficulty, I climb the stairs. My limbs and back are still protesting against any kind of movement. And quite frankly, I’m so tired that I would just love to skip supper and fall right into bed to sleep my exhaustion off until the sun comes up and recharges me. Being normal is not all it’s cracked up to be. I’m thinking that every time a run-in with kryptonite or some weird disease or in this case a very hard rescue is giving me the humbling experience of being vulnerable.

Some part of me wishes that Lois had chosen a better time for her nervous breakdown than the one night I’m thoroughly out of commission. But a nagging voice in the back of my mind insists that perhaps her timing was just perfect for me to get a taste of what it’s like to walk in her shoes.

While I’m changing into something dry, I try to come up with what I could say to Lois to make her forgive me. And I’m still thinking about the problem when I change Maggie’s diaper and get her ready for bed. But it’s not that simple.
I can’t promise Lois that this won’t happen again. The world needs Superman and I’m sure that even Lois wouldn’t argue that fact. And I need to be Superman, because watching people die when I could have made a difference would sooner or later drive me insane. But Lois needs her husband. She can’t shoulder all the responsibility of having a job and a family alone.

Perhaps Superman was never meant to have a family. Perhaps I was just selfish to want this kind of life for me. My throat tightens and my heart constricts. Even thinking about losing Lois and my kids is too much to bear. I blink back the tears stinging my eyes, trying desperately not to let Maggie see them. She’d know something was seriously off if she saw her Daddy cry.

***

“Daddy, can we have something warm for dinner?” Nate asks when Maggie and I come back down. “The stuff they gave us in school was just gross. And I don’t think Maggie ate a lot in day care. She told me they had spinach today, and you know how much she hates that. Can’t we have pasta?”

“Yeah, Daddy. I want pasta,” Maggie agrees enthusiastically. “Pasta, pasta, pasta!” She jumps up and down on my arm, pulling at my ribs in the process. I have a hard time to keep from crying out in pain.

“Okay, okay.” I give in. “Calm down, Maggie. We’re going to make pasta.” I look at Nate. “And I believe you mentioned something about still needing to do some homework.”

Nathan glances back at me guiltily. “So you heard that, huh?” Under his breath he mutters something like ‘darn super-hearing’ and turns around to get back to his room. But before he has even left the living room, he comes back. “Can you please help me with math, Dad?”

I give him a resigned sigh and roll my eyes in an exaggerated manner. “Okay, buddy. Get your things and join me in the kitchen. I’ve got a meal to cook.”

“You’re the best, Dad.” Nate gives me peck on the cheek that almost has me lose my balance.

My whole body is sore and I’d love to sit down. But the longer I wait, the grumpier Maggie is going to be. No wonder she threw a fit. Her tantrums tend to be a lot worse when she’s hungry. And instead of saying that she needs to eat, she rather yells and screams, sometimes even bites. Lois knows that as well as I do, but I guess she was just past the point of being able to recognize the signs or do something about her daughter’s real problem.

Lois! My insides contort with the memory of our latest fight and her storming out of the house. I hope she’s all right and has managed to calm down by now. And I desperately hope she’ll come back. I still need to apologize.

Feeling, that I shouldn’t hold off talking to Lois any longer than I already have, I get the phone and dial her number. I hope she took her mobile phone with her.

For a while I listen to the dial tone, then the mailbox answers. “This is Lois Lane. I can’t take your call right now. Please leave a message.”

I wait for the beep. “Lois? Honey, I’m awfully sorry I was gone so long. Please come home. We need to talk about this. I know I’m not the world’s most attentive husband at the moment. And you have every right to be mad at me. I love you. ” I hang up with a sense of dread. I can only hope that Lois is all right.

With Maggie still on my arm, I head for the kitchen. Now that she’s no longer in the clutches of her own rage, she’s clingy. If she could, she’d probably become a part of my body. As I try to set her down on her chair, she wraps her arms around me so firmly that I’m wondering if she’s developing superpowers already.

“Arm, Daddy, arm!” she insists.

“Oh, sweetie, how am I supposed to chop the vegetables, when you cling to me like that?” I ask her softly.
She doesn’t budge, not one iota. Instead, her face twitches and she’s getting ready to cry again. I take a deep breath. I’m screwed either way. Heaving a small sigh, I keep Maggie on my arm and rummage through the kitchen to get everything I need. I find peppers, tomatoes and zucchini in the fridge. Cooking takes longer than usual, since for the most part I can only use one hand. I only set Maggie down for short while I need to chop the vegetables, and even that seems too much for he. She’s in desperate need of supper and her bed. She’s not the only one.

While I’m preparing the meal, Nathan returns with his homework. Apparently, he still hasn’t gotten the hang of fractional arithmetics. Throughout cooking I meander through the kitchen. I try to keep Maggie occupied, who wants to help me when she’s not on my arm. It’s more a matter of averting one disaster after another than getting actual help. But at least Maggie is not crying anymore. And whenever I’m not busy with Maggie or our food, I answer Nate’s questions and try to explain how to add, subtract, multiply and divide fractions. By the time the pasta is ready, I wonder how Lois goes through all of that on a daily basis.

I’m grateful when we’ve finally manage to clear the table of any residual homework and sit down to eat. With a pang of surprise I realize that I’m actually hungry. That doesn’t happen very often, but this evening my body insists on being fed. I dig into my pasta with gusto, but make it no farther than the first bite.

“Nooooo!” Maggie squeals. “You sit on Mommy’s chair!” Her squeal turns into a loud wail and I can barely avoid being attacked by her fork. “Mommy’s chair! Mommy’s chair.”

*Here we go again,* I sigh inwardly.

“I’m sorry, pumpkin,” I mutter.

To avoid another tantrum I get up to sit down on the chair Maggie considers as mine. I’m really not in the mood for opposing her right now. I should have known better. It’s not exactly the first time this happens and my daughter can be pretty adamant about seating arrangements. Nate had similar preferences when he was little; I guess it’s normal for her age.

Maggie calms down and starts to eat, only to realize that her Daddy has also picked the wrong fork. And after I got her the right one, I manage to eat all of three bites before she knocks over her glass and spills the water all across the table. I take deep calming breaths while I dry the table. I’m here just a little over an hour and my patience is already wearing thin. I can’t even begin to imagine how Lois must feel after three days of this.

Is she also this tired after a long work day? Are her muscles just as sore? Did I ever really ask her how she’s doing on a stressful day? She always seems so vibrant and full of power that I sometimes think she’s even stronger than me. But she’s not invulnerable.

Dinner goes by almost uneventful. I have to get up a few times and end up eating mostly cold pasta, but I manage to avoid any further tantrums. Nathan got his homework done, which I consider a small victory. And Maggie is tired after a long day, giving me the slight hope that this day is going to end sometime soon.

I take her to bed, while Nate vanishes in his room to read a book and listen to some music. Maggie snuggles against me as I read her favorite story and she even grudgingly accepts that Mom is not going to sing her a lullaby tonight. I need to tell Lois how much her daughter missed her. At the thought, my heart starts to race and a shiver runs down my spine as I realize that she still hasn’t returned or at least called me back. I’m worried about her. It’s been over two hours now.

Not much time to calm down and clear your head, I try to reassure myself. But that still doesn’t alleviate the sense of dread that has gathered in the pit of my stomach. I really wish I could fly a quick round over Metropolis and locate her, just to make sure she’s unharmed. My powers are still noticeably absent and I’m sure they won’t return before dawn.

“Good night, Maggie.” I kiss her before I leave the room.
“Night, Daddy,” she whispers.

“I’m in the living room, if you need me, pumpkin,” I tell her. Then I pull the door until it’s almost close. She likes to see some light from the hall.

Briefly, I think about going to bed right away. I can barely keep my eyes open. But there’s still so much work to do. Cleaning up the kitchen, clearing the living room of the toys and other items that are scattered all across the floor, and last but not least there is also the matter of Maggie’s wall paintings. But I’m not sure I’m up to that as well. Normally, it would be a matter of minutes to get all of that done. But tonight, there is no whizzing through the house.

I start with the kitchen, fill the dishwasher and clean up the table. It’s going rather well, particularly since Nate joins me for a short time and helps me dry the remaining dishes after I washed them. When I put the last clean pot to the side, another dizzy spell takes me by surprise. I hold onto the counter for support. This time my discomfort doesn’t go unnoticed.

Nate looks at me worriedly. "Dad, what's the matter with you? You're white as a sheet."

"I'm fine, Nate," I reassure him. I try to stand a little straighter, but fail miserably. "I'm just a little tired. It was a tough rescue."

My son obviously isn’t convinced. He folds his arm in front of his chest in a very intimidating imitation of his mother. "You don't look fine, Dad. And if you're so tired, why didn't you use your powers to clean up? It would have taken only a couple of seconds to get everything done."

I wish I could escape that particular conversation, but I know Nate won’t drop the topic. He’s much like Lois in that respect.

I clear my throat. "I don't have my powers right now."
"What? Why? Was there kryptonite?" Nate asks alarmed. "Does Mom know this?"

Before he has a chance to go into full babbling mode – another trait he inherited - I shake my head. "It has nothing to do with kryptonite. I exhausted myself when there was no sunlight to recharge me. I'll be fine in the morning. Mom doesn't need to know!"

Nate furrows his brows. "But she'll be furious with you if you keep this from her."

I can’t stifle a small groan. Having to deal with a furious Lois is bad enough as it is. Never did I expect that one day I’d also have to hear lectures from my ten-year-old son. I can hardly wait till Maggie gets old enough to join them.
“I didn't want to worry her,” I say with hint of irritation. “Besides, she's got enough on her plate already without me adding to her troubles. “

Nate throws his towel at the ground in frustration. “But I don't want you guys to start fighting again. What if Mom wants to divorce you?” He points his finger at me accusingly. “What would become of us? Of Maggie and me? I want both of you!”

There are tears in his eyes, though Nate tries hard to hide them. My heart goes out to him and I pull him into a firm bear hug.

“We're going through difficult times,” I say softly. “But that doesn't mean we'll file for divorce. When your Mom and I said our vows, we promised that we'll stay with each other for better or worse. I admit that right now we're definitely at worse. But we will work through it. We've come out of so many difficult situations, I'm sure we'll work something out.”
Nate shakes his head with a vengeance and pushes me away. “That's what Mike's Dad said, too. And now Mike's seeing him only every other weekend."

I can see why this is bothering him so much. And my own heart constricts in fear. Lois was really, really mad at me. To be honest, right now I can't even come up with a magic solution that will make everything all right again. Short of giving up on Superman altogether, I have no idea how I could spare Lois the pressure of being Superman's wife. I'm not sure what would become of me if I could no longer use my powers to help people. Does my being Superman really bother Lois so much that she'd rather divorce me?

"If you two break up, could I stay with you, Dad?" Nate asks me.

I put my hand on his shoulder and give it a light and hopefully reassuring squeeze. "I sure hope it won't come to that, Nate. Mom is angry right now, and she has every right to be.”

Nate sticks out his bottom lip defiantly. "But you need to help all those people. And she knows that.”

“Yeah, she does,” I smile at him wistfully. “But that doesn't make working and caring for two children any easier. I promised her that we would do those things together. But lately, I did a lousy job of keeping that promise.”

Nate nods slowly and for a while remains silent. He seems lost in his own thoughts, while I store away the last remaining dishes.

When I’m done, I look at the clock. “It's getting late, Nate. Thanks for helping me with the kitchen. Go to bed now. You've got school tomorrow.”

Nate looks at me warily, as if he half expects me to topple over again. “But I could also help you with the living room,” he offers.

“Remember that promise the next time Mom is facing disaster.” I wink at him. “Go to bed. I'll manage on my own.”
Nate wriggles his brows. “You sure Dad? You look about ready to collapse.”

I try to shrug his concern off. “That I am. But I think this is teaching me a valuable lesson. One I definitely needed. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. ”

For a while he seems torn, but I’m not the only one who is tired this evening. Nate can’t quite stifle a yawn and that finally settles the matter. We hug again and Nate reluctantly goes to bed.

I briefly wonder if I should go looking for Lois. But any amount of concentrating doesn't result in as much as an inch of floating above the ground. I strain my ears trying to listen for her, but I can't stretch my hearing any farther than our immediate neighborhood.

Heaving a sigh, I start clearing the living room of scattered toys. It takes almost half an hour to put everything back into place. And it takes almost twice as long to wipe Maggie's art project off the wallpaper. I don't manage to clean away all of it and it's pretty much obvious that I'm going to need to paint the room. But tired and powerless as I am, I decide to leave that for the next day.

When I'm done, I stumble rather than climb up the stairs. As I reach our bedroom, I try to call Lois again, but she has switched off her phone. I leave another message, pleading with her to at least call me back and let me know that she's physically okay.

Then I collapse onto our bed. I'm not sure I have ever been this exhausted. Maybe after Luthor locked me up in his kryptonite cage. But that has happened in another life. For long moments I just lie there and can't bring myself to get up again. I should get into my pajamas. I should probably shower first, but I can't seem to find the energy.
Eventually, I get up again to at least change into something more comfortable. I let out a small groan as I try to remove my shirt.

"Clark!"

I turn around as I hear Lois' voice and hastily pull my shirt down to cover the collection of blacks and blues on my upper body. I didn't even hear her coming. Maybe I dozed off after all. She's standing in the doorway to our bedroom, her arms folded in front of her chest. There’s a deep frown on her face that feels like I’m doused in a bucket of ice-water.

I can hear the trembling in my voice as I address her. “Did you come to pack your things or did you come to talk?”
Her frown softens a bit. “Talk, I guess.” She purses her lips. There is a gleam in her eyes that I cannot quite decipher. "Are you going to tell me what happened to your chest and back?"

“A skyscraper collapsed on me," I tell her, trying to sound casual. As if there ever is something casual about me losing my powers.

"Kryptonite?” she asks with at least a hint of sympathy in her voice.

I look down at my feet and shake my head. "No. Carrying the weight of that building proved to be too much even for me. Particularly, since there was no sunlight to recharge me.” Despite my best efforts to remain standing, my legs buckle underneath me and I need to sit down.
She rushes to my side, a gesture that I don’t think I deserve. “Why didn't you say something? I would have stayed.” I can hear the remorse in her voice.

I look at her and cup her cheek with one hand. I give her a rueful smile. “And cared for me?”

She nods feebly. Her eyes are puffy and I can tell that she's been crying a lot in the past few hours.

I brush a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. “At what cost? You'd still be hurting and I probably wouldn't even have realized how much. “

I can see it in her eyes that she’s struggling with a bout of guilty conscience. “But what you do is important. I heard the news on the radio while I was driving around. You rescued so many people and even got hurt. When I was Ultrawoman-”

“You did the right thing by blowing up in my face like that,” I cut her off. “You had the chance to slip into Superman’s shoes when you became Ultrawoman. Today, you gave me a taste of what it's like to walk in yours. And I found that they're not very comfortable.”

The looks she gives me teeters somewhere between a smile and crying. “No, sometimes they’re not comfortable at all. I was so angry at you and at Maggie and Nate.” Lois takes a deep breath and buries her face in her hands. “I’m just so tired. I understand that Maggie is still so small and that she doesn’t paint the walls just to spite me. And I know that I shouldn’t be angry at her. I love you all so much, but sometimes...” Her voice trails off.

“Sometimes it’s just too much.” I pull her into an embrace. “Lois, I’m sorry. About so many things. I promised you that you wouldn’t be alone raising the kids, but more often than not you are.”

“But you’re a good father,” she cries. “And you’re with us more than my father ever used to be. And I-“

“No, Lois,” I shake my head and pull back a little so I can look into her eyes. “Don’t find excuses for me. It’s my fault things got as far as they did. That your father cared even less for his family than I do, doesn’t make me a good father. But I promise you that I’ll try harder. For the sake of all of you. Nate was so worried that we’d file for divorce. I don’t intend to give you another reason to even consider that step.”

Lois looks at me a little aghast. “Divorce?”

“You’re not already thinking about it, are you?” Fear is clutching my heart in an icy grip.

Slowly she shakes her head. “No, Clark, I’m not considering divorce. But we can’t go on like this either. I’m afraid that one day I might think about it, if we do.”

“Maybe we should take a vacation, all of us,” I smile at her selfconsiously. “Including Superman.”

“That sounds good.” Lois manages a smile of her own. “But where do we go from there?”

I let out a breath. “I’ll cut down on my Superman business and on my work hours. Maybe I can do more work from here. That way, I don’t have to be quite so careful when I use my powers to speed my work along. ” A huge yawn is almost cracking my jaw and I have trouble keeping my eyes open. “As for the rest – can we please talk about that tomorrow? I’m beat.”

Lois places a small kiss on my cheek. “I’m tired, too.” She lets out a soft chuckle. “Actually, even too tired for some make-up sex.”

A happy flutter settles in my belly that she is obviously ready to forgive me. “Me too. Raincheck?”

“Oh, definitely,” she says with an impish grin.

This time, her lips find mine in an intense kiss that makes me wish I wasn’t quite so out of it. And I’m almost sure that if I was my normal self, I’d be floating already. When she leaves me to get ready for bed, I change into my pajamas. It takes some effort to stay awake long enough to feel her slip underneath the covers.

But I wouldn’t miss it for the world to feel her body snuggled against mine, to taste her lips one last time before we say goodnight. I have her back, but I need to be very careful not to lose her to the stress of motherhood. I shall never again forget that she’s a superhero in her own right.

There is something that I still need to tell her. “Both Nate and Maggie missed you, Lois. A lot.”

Then I drift off to sleep.

The End