Author's Note: This was written for the ficathon. It's set in S1, after Honeymoon in Metropolis -- so, sometime in December.
With much thanks to Jessi and Sara for being awesome and supportive and fixing my typos.
See the end for the requested content for this fic.
~o~o~o~o~
Like Blood from a StoneWhen Clark walked into the Daily Planet newsroom that morning, he noticed a couple unusual things. First, there seemed to be many more people than usual in the newsroom, and second, something was being set up in the conference room. He had a bad feeling about all of it immediately.
"Do you know what's going on?" he asked Lois as he walked by her desk. He was certain she'd know. She always knew.
Lois looked up, frowned, and in a sarcastic tone, said, "Well, good morning to you too."
"I'm sorry," Clark replied automatically. "Good morning, Lois." Then as he tilted his head toward the conference room, repeated, "Do you know what's going on?"
Lois' frown deepened. "What do you mean, what's going on? It's the annual blood drive, Clark. You know… the one that happens every year?"
Clark blinked. He'd been expecting something worse; massive layoffs, probably. "I see…" he eventually said, "but, uh, you do remember that I wasn't at the Planet a year ago, don't you?"
"Yes, yes, sure, of course, I knew that," she answered brusquely, as if attempting to hide the fact that she had indeed forgotten momentarily. "But, come on, you must have heard of it! It's the Mayor's Holiday Blood Drive. Everyone in Metropolis participates. Including, as you can tell, reporters from all the media outlets in the city."
"Again, I feel I should remind you—" Clark attempted to explain.
Lois waved dismissively. "Fine, fine, I get it, you lived under a rock until a few months ago."
"No, just Smallville," he muttered to himself, hoping she wouldn't tease him about it this time.
Lois rummaged through her desk drawer and pulled out a small, glossy leaflet. "Here, mister don't-know-anything-about-it, read up. And then you can roll up your sleeve like the rest of us and do something nice, for the good of other people."
"Hey, I'll have you know that I do nice things for other people all the time," Clark argued.
"Yes, Clark, you're very sweet to take care of your elderly neighbor's cat, but this isn't the same. This is saving a life. Many, many lives, in fact, if we all pitch in." She paused for a moment, then went on, an expression of wonder in her eyes, "That's what Superman does every day, you know… And now, us mere mortals get to experience a little bit of what it's like to be a superhero. Even you. Isn't that amazing?"
Clark had only barely begun formulating a response — or a passable excuse, probably — when their conversation was interrupted. Perry White had just exited his office, and from the top of the stairs, was now giving what his employees referred to as "the morning pep talk."
"As I'm sure you all know, today is the annual blood drive," he told his reporters. "We have wonderful nurses and volunteers who'll be with us all morning until noon, so I expect you to pay them a quick visit and help save precious lives."
There was a vague murmur of agreement from the reporters gathered below.
"I mean it, people!" thundered the editor. "Those chumps at The Star aren't getting the participation award two years in a row. Not on my watch!"
Clark's blood ran cold as a loud chorus of "Yes, Chief!" resounded from the bullpen. Now he really needed an excuse. A good one.
"That's the spirit!" Perry exclaimed. "Oh, and you two, Lane and Kent" — he gestured in their general direction — "I need you to cover Mayor Berkowitz's press conference in half an hour."
"You got it, Chief," Lois answered almost as a reflex. She grabbed her coat and threw it on in one fluid motion. Seeing that Clark hadn't moved a muscle, she sighed and added, "Well, are you coming, or will you require an official invitation?"
Clark simply shook his head, got up and put on his own coat. He followed Lois out of the newsroom, his mind racing as he tried to come up with a way out of this entire situation. If only he could think of something that wouldn't force him to lie to her.
—
As the Mayor's press conference came to an end, Clark took a quick look at his watch. It was early still; barely 10:30. Much too early to head back to the Planet, he realized. If they spent enough time here, he wouldn't even need to excuse himself from the charity event.
"I'm going to go around and see if I can get some quotes from volunteers and donors," he told Lois, making his way out of the room without giving her a chance to reply.
"Well, wait for me, at least," she called after him, hurrying to catch up.
"The early bird gets the worm," he replied over his shoulder.
Lois sighed, annoyed. "We're partners, Kent, remember?"
Clark turned around. Frowning, he answered, "Yes, yes, sure, of course, I knew that," before giving her a wide grin.
"Very funny," she snapped back in a tone dripping with sarcasm. "You really do know how to make it easy for me to hate you." Without missing a beat, she shrugged and added, "Right when I was starting to think I might actually like you after all."
"That's not—" Clark began, his grin fading clear away.
Lois, however, wasn't having any of his apologies. "Just get some quotes, will you? I'll go talk to the nurses and volunteers while you go and interview a handful of donors. You're way better at fluff, anyway." She glanced at her watch and added, "Let's meet back here in twenty minutes."
"You're the boss," Clark replied, a small smile tugging at his lips again.
"You got that right, buster!" Lois agreed, swatting him with the back of her hand as she walked past him.
—
Nearly an hour later, Clark was chatting away with an elderly woman, taking notes as she regaled him with anecdotes from her life, when Lois barged in on them.
"He's a great listener, isn't he?" she told the other woman, a forced smile on her lips. "But I'm sure you've given him more than he needs for this article, which we really should file now, as a matter of fact." Then, under her breath, she told him, "I said
twenty minutes."
"Oh, dear, I'm so sorry" the woman replied, "That's what happens when you give an old crow like me an opportunity to reminisce about her life."
"Not at all," said Clark. He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "It was lovely chatting with you, Mrs. Chadwick." It was especially lovely given that it had taken so much time, he thought. Of course, he wasn't about to tell anyone that.
As the old woman walked away, Lois glanced at her watch again. "Listen, if we're going to give blood, maybe we should do it here, and
then go back to the Planet."
Clark felt a shiver travel down his spine. "I'd really rather file the story first, if you don't mind," he replied hesitantly. Then in a flash of inspiration, he went on, "You know, I hear people often feel faint after giving blood. I mean, you wouldn't want to be stuck here any longer than we already have, would you?"
"Oh please, I never faint!"
"Right, no, of course you don't," he stammered, "But… Well, see, the truth is that I've never given blood before." And this, at least, really was the truth.
Lois rolled her eyes. "I should have known," she said. "Alright, come on, we've got a little under half an hour to make it back to the newsroom."
—
Lois was just about fuming by the time they got back to the newsroom. They'd stopped multiple times on the way, much to her displeasure.
"I can't believe you made us stop for coffee — twice!" she complained. "You're even clumsier than I thought."
"I'm sorry," Clark replied, "How many more times would you like me to tell you I'm sorry?" Sure, he'd done it on purpose, but given the impact it had had on Lois' mood, he honestly was sorry for it.
"Several," she whispered to herself. To him, however, she said, "Look, it's fine. They're still here. Let's just go, okay?"
Clark waved her off. "You go on without me. I'll start typing my notes in the meantime."
"Why do I get the feeling you're trying to avoid this? Wait… you're not scared of needles, are you? Clark, you're a grown man!"
"Of course I'm not—" he began, but she wouldn't let him finish.
"Then what is it? What are you afraid of exactly? It's barely even going to hurt. Didn't you get your shots when you were a kid?"
"It's not the pain I'm worried about, Lois," he insisted.
"Fine!" she snapped, "Then what is it that you're so worried about, Clark? Surely you're not afraid of a little blood!"
"I'm not afraid, Lois," Clark snapped back. "I just can't
give blood. That's not the same thing." Too late he realized she might pick up on the clue he'd just involuntarily offered…
Luckily, Lois seemed to have heard only what she thought he'd been saying — as per usual. She rolled her eyes at him for the umpteenth time. "Well, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck," she told him.
Things took a quick turn for the worse — at least in Clark's view — when a man stuck his head out of the conference room and announced that there were only a few minutes left to make a donation. He'd seen the participation meter when he walked in and knew that the numbers were below the expected mark; he'd have a hard time excusing himself now, he knew.
In a last ditch attempt to save his secret from being discovered, Clark pulled Lois into a vacant office.
"What's the matter with you?" she complained at his manhandling of her.
"Look, Lois, I need your help," he said after a moment's hesitation, "I can't…I can't do this. You're right, I have been trying to avoid the whole thing. I really need to get out of here or they'll find out. And I really need your help, because it's not looking too good right now."
"And yet everyone thinks you're such a do-gooder," she sneered. "I really should have known you'd turn out to be a disappointment. After all, you're just an ordinary man…"
"Yeah, about that…" he began. He took a deep breath, then shakily went on to say, "I didn't want to tell you this way, I really didn't… I don't know how I thought of telling you, but this wasn't it. You see, the thing…" he hesitated a moment then said, "...the thing is that it's not possible to harvest a pint of blood from my body. I don't even bleed at all." Surely now, she'd put two and two together, he thought.
"Oh, puh-lease," she replied, dragging the word out in contempt. "You had a paper cut just a few days ago!"
Somehow, he'd forgotten all about that paper cut. "Well, I can explain—"
"You know what, I bet you can. That's the one thing I can always count on. You have an explanation. I mean, you call it that, but it's usually just a silly story that barely passes as an excuse. How stupid do you think I am?"
"I never said anything of the sort," he protested.
Lois shrugged. "Look, Clark, I don't even really care why you keep running out on me. I'm not even that interested at all. Just leave if you don't want to be here. And if you think you need an excuse, just make something up already, and go. What was it last time? Videos to return?"
"I don't—" he started, then held up his hand when it looked like she was going to interrupt, "—please hear me out? I don't want to lie to you. I swear, I never wanted to lie to you, I just got… stuck in a vicious circle? And all I want right now is to make it better, but you're not listening to what I'm trying to tell you."
Lois crossed her arms over her chest in a defiant manner. "Fine, then, talk. I'm all ears. What's this thing you need to—" The words died in her throat, as understanding suddenly lit up her eyes. She looked him up and down, frowning deeply, then finally said, "That's not possible? How could you— no! Never! You're not— And he's— Come on, you can't be!"
Clark's expression turned into a mix of guilt and embarrassment. He gave her the slightest nod as he looked at her over the top rim of his glasses. "It is true," he confessed, "I am Superman."
"So, let me get this straight, then," Lois said after a long pause. "You've lied to me every single day since we've met. Continuously. Directly to my face. And we're not talking about little white lies here, either. But now you somehow expect me to lie
for you? Seriously?"
"Lois, I swear I would never, ever ask you to lie. Not for me, or for anyone."
"But—"
"But I'm asking you," Clark insisted, "to help me find a way out of this. Please."
She tapped her foot and gave him a dirty look in response.
"You say you want to save lives, Lois, well I'm asking you to save one life," he pleaded with her. "Just one. Just this one life that's very, very important to me. Because if they found out… Lois, if they found out… Well, I don't know what would happen to Superman exactly, but I do know that no matter what, Clark Kent would cease to exist. His life would be gone. My life. Gone. That's the life I'm trying to save right now, and I understand that you're mad at me right now—"
"— rightfully so!" Lois interjected.
"Yes, I understand that you're
rightfully mad at me," he explained, "but you're the only person I trust right now."
"Why must you make it so hard for me to be mad at you?" Lois complained. "You're just— you're impossible!" she added, throwing her arms up in defeat.
"I'm sorry," said Clark pitifully. "I'm not trying to be."
"Oh, stop it," she told him, "you're just making it worse. Why couldn't you just excuse yourself on religious grounds, like a normal person? Alright, forget normal, but— wait, hold on— What religion are you, anyway?"
"I don't think now is the time to discuss that," he replied. "Besides I was trying not to lie to everyone, for once. And, as you've already established, my excuses aren't very good. So I was sort of hoping maybe you'd have a better one in mind?"
Lois thought for a moment, then exclaimed, "Alright, this is what's going to happen: you're going to use your super hearing thingy, you're going to find an emergency somewhere around here, and you're going to go respond to it. Well… Superman will."
"Sure, but how does that help?"
"It helps," she clarified, "because Clark Kent is going to be writing all about it." She laughed. "You've been writing about yourself for months that way and no one ever noticed. Those glasses must be magical."
Clark shrugged. "Trade secret," he said.
"Oh, no, no," Lois admonished. "You don't get to keep that stuff a secret anymore. Not after you lied to me for so long. You and I are going to have a long chat, once this is over." Before he got a chance to reply, she added, "So, I'm thinking a small sidebar type of thing, somewhere along the lines of 300 or 400 words? That sounds like more than enough, I think. That way, you get to leave and protect your identity, and I won't have to lie to anyone. Win-win. Sort of…"
"Thank you, Lois," he said, "I'll make it up to you."
"Well, don't just stand there!"
"Yes, ma'am," Clark replied before turning into a blur of red and blue and heading out of the nearest window.
"You definitely owe me this time, buster!" Lois called after him as she watched him fly away. Then to an empty room, she added, "You owe me something big. Huge. Like a nice, fancy, candlelight dinner. In Paris!"
Clark bit back a chuckle, idly wondering if he'd need to bring a Scrabble board along to Paris or not…
~~ The end.
Comment thread is here.~o~o~o~o~
Bakasi's requests for the story were these:
Things I want in my fic
1. Clark in some serious trouble
2. Only Lois can help
3. A revelation
Things I don’t want in my fic:
1. Lex Luthor
2. Next gen
3. Alt-Clark/Alt-Lois
