Lois in a crowded bar, drinking wine and wearing a strappy black dress? Sadly celebrating another story success? I am LOVING this! But rats, as always, I am reading early in the morning when I should be getting ready for work! Will write a longer comment later!
Last edited by Morgana; 04/19/2205:14 AM.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
Lois thinking about Clark trying to pick her up, hilarious. Of course, he wouldn't.
On a side note, I remember reading an advertisement for a flirting crash course, complete with field training in Cologne during the carnival season. Mix that with an article I read years ago, about a group of Americans wanting to do sightseeing on a Monday in Cologne (what could go wrong on a Monday?) and ended up in right in the middle of one of the biggest celebrations with several millions on the streets. I can see the plot bunny right there.
Awww, so sweet. I really like that she has met him this way. No newbie greenhorn assumptions from her end. And he gets to impress her without any work relationship hold ups ^_^.
There is nothing better than reading a well-written and enjoyable story. As promised this is the additional comments I wanted to make.
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She'd had no one to go out and celebrate with—Jimmy was staying late to help Perry with something, Lucy was out of town for the week and didn't really understand her efforts or achievements as an investigative journalist anyway, and Lois just...really didn't have any friends to speak of.
It is so sad that in her determination to be the best investigative reporter she can be Lois lost something along the way... friends. Nothing shows it more than in these two lines. Both of her co-workers are well...working and her flighty sister who keeps insisting that Lois get a life is out of town enjoying her life! Being prickly does have a high cost. My heart goes out to her.
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He put his hands up cautiously. "I'm not either. I mean...to pick up a woman. I'm not here for that. I just..." he trailed off. Clearly there was some actual nervousness there that she hadn't given him credit for, something in his eyes...
Awww, this is Clark! The midwestern charm comes shining through!
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"Has anyone ever told you that you babble?" She grinned at him.
He chuckled a bit self-consciously and ducked his head. The slight blush on his cheeks was devastatingly sexy. "Yeah," he admitted. "My mom says I tend to do that when I'm nervous."
See! He is totally adorable!
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And banter they did, for another two hours before either of them realized how much time had gone by. The conversation with him just seemed to...work, never running out of things to talk about even though they'd both playfully agreed not to mention her work or his interviews. Everything flowed like they'd been the best of friends for years, and every so often because she just couldn't stop herself (and he couldn't seem to either), the flirtatious tension would come around to set her heart racing and tingling all over only to slow back down to a simmer. It was like a roller coaster, the best roller coaster she'd ever been on, and she never wanted it to stop.
Perfect ending to this part! You have done a great job of letting Lois and Clark talk without the usual defenses being front and center. They are just a man and a woman, each a little lonely and nail biting nervous to embark on this most dangerous and delicious adventure, getting to know one another and falling in love. Lois my friend, the roller coast ride has just begun.
Saving part two for later planning on savoring every line.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
Oh, please forgive my very delayed response to feedback! As many of you know, I’m up to my ears in packing boxes and stress as we gear up to move to another state in a few months! Eep! Thankfully, I’m at least managing to carve out some time for writing and BRing, else I’d go insane!
Bakasi—thanks!! And LOL that is quite the plot bunny!
Queen—Woohoo! I did like that line a lot…there were so many lines in here I loved and amused myself with. <g>
Blueowl—Yes! That’s exactly how she’s able to think of him as date material right off! No hang ups or feeling threatened or annoyed by being saddled with a newbie.
Morgana—Thank you for coming back to leave wonderful, detailed comments!! Yeah, poor sad Lois…she loves her career and excelling, but there IS a cost! Thankfully, she always gets a Clark in the end! Haha yay! I’m glad Clark’s charm comes through and that him babbling works…I hadn’t planned on it, but it was fun and adorable to reverse their roles a bit there. <g> So glad you enjoyed this part!
the CDC warns that you should not put your hand on women's lower backs when you want to get past them in bars. […]Because...I'm a total sucker for that thing he does, putting his hand on the small of her back.
To be fair and because it’s more I’ve usually heard ‘lower back’ to be used as a euphemism for the posterior, so, a bit different to how Clark’s touching Lois. Although, this should be interesting for the workplace, Clark starting out at the DP and touching Lois’s lower back when he gets past her. Plus, didn’t he do that on the show during I’ve Got a Crush on You? Or was it just in MLT’s There’s No Place Like Home?
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She supposed, if he was still here, she could offer to go someplace else with him...though that wasn't always the safest choice, and it might sound too forward and give him the wrong idea.
This so reminds me of Coupling: https://www.quotes.net/mquote/708185 Sally: You know what "I'll cook" says? It says, "Let's have sex." Susan: No, that would be, "Come and spend the night with me." Sally: "Come and spend the night with me" says, "Let's have sex." "I'll cook" says, "Let's have sex and I'll cater."
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"I got you another white wine—the bartender poured what you had last," he said.
Oh, the innocent 90s…
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It's...well, the wine is perfect, actually, but given that I don't know you and I didn't see it made...."
oh, so it was already a thing back then?
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Are you real? Like, not from Earth. Heaven sent." She laughed at her own poor pickup line. He let out a nervous chuckle. "I guess you'll have to stick around and find out."
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Were you looking for a place to live or just exploring? How long were you traveling? Did you go alone? Didn't you miss home? What made you choose those places?"
Aww, she slipped an inconspicuous ‘alone’ in there
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She couldn’t imagine traveling alone like that for so long.
She’s interested. And she’s hoping he’s not sow his oats, even though she believes it to be an unrealistic expectation.
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Tonight was about...celebrating and enjoying the moment
Yes but the Apollo isn’t suited for … celebrating.
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It was like a roller coaster, the best roller coaster she'd ever been on, and she never wanted it to stop.
So, hoping he’ll bump into same girl again the next night, and it not be an accident?
Very fun start, Sara! Looking forward to getting into part 2
Michael
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See! He is totally adorable!
I’ve usually heard ‘lower back’ to be used as a euphemism for the posterior, so, a bit different to how Clark’s touching Lois. Although, this should be interesting for the workplace, Clark starting out at the DP and touching Lois’s lower back when he gets past her. Plus, didn’t he do that on the show during I’ve Got a Crush on You? Or was it just in MLT’s There’s No Place Like Home?
Michael