|
|
Joined: Feb 2021
Posts: 440 Likes: 18
Beat Reporter
|
OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Feb 2021
Posts: 440 Likes: 18 |
I took an academic writing class a few years back that had students to write a 1000 word story, and cut it to 500 words. The final cut put the story down to 100 words and while it was challenging, some really fantastic drabbles emerged. As I've been in a bit of a rut lately with the half dozen or so other fics on the go, I thought I'd challenge myself. I spotted a shooting star on the way home from a wedding rehearsal on Friday and the fic essentially wrote itself on the hour long drive home. It's not 100 words, but comes in just shy of 1000 words; a rare short piece from me! Thanks to Anna B. The Greek for a quick beta read! Fic is here.If you get a chance, and clear skies, the Leonid meteor shower is supposed to peak this coming weekend (Nov 19/20). The meteor shower in the fic is the Perseids, coming to a sky near you every August.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 691 Likes: 6
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 691 Likes: 6 |
This was really sweet and hopeful and beautiful. It works perfectly as a short drabble. Thank you!
Spike: "There's a hole in the world...feels like we ought to have known."
-Angel
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2022
Posts: 900 Likes: 23
Features Writer
|
|
Features Writer
Joined: Oct 2022
Posts: 900 Likes: 23 |
Loved it. Very sweet interaction that sounds like the start of something incredible.
As a side note, my family and I viewed the Perseids last year. We each saw 10-12 meteors in only about an hour. It was really neat!
Thank you for sharing!
-Bek
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,109 Likes: 41
Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,109 Likes: 41 |
OMG this was gorgeously written!! Every word of it was so great! The imagery, the tone... The FEELS! Oh, I loved it so very much!! Sara 
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761 |
So beautiful and cute, a joy to read! I love those tender pre-relationship moments!
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784 Likes: 28
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784 Likes: 28 |
Iām not paying attention anymore, distracted by thoughts of how much I miss that brief contact and trying not to analyze why. Here under the stars, alone with Clark Kent, the distractions of work and the city, my commitment to my career, the cable bill that I forgot to pay, fade away and I realize Iād rather be standing in a field, surrounded by bugs and other creatures Iād rather not think of, staring at the stars with him, than anywhere else. Lois Lane reporter has stepped aside to let Lois Lane the woman come front and center. Perfect. The lessons from the writing class comes through beautifully. One question, since when do August evenings cool down? 
Last edited by Morgana; 11/14/22 10:36 AM.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 574 Likes: 14
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 574 Likes: 14 |
Loved this. I love stories set before their relationship. Fantastic work.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,065 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,065 Likes: 31 |
Hi Toomi! As he turns me to face the right direction, the palm of his hand on my hip to guide me, his thumb slips under my waist-length t-shirt and is resting on my skin, just above the waistband of my jeans, where the rest of his hand remains. awww As Clark removes his hand from my waist I regret not wishing on every shooting star I just saw that we could stay just as we were a while longer awwwwww the distractions of work and the city, my commitment to my career, the cable bill that I forgot to pay, fade away Great little details. I could hardly remove my hand without the moment becoming awkward. I heard her gasp and her heartbeat quicken, and as I focused on not fumbling over my words at the sudden intimacy of the moment I failed to control the urge to gently caress her skin with my thumb. awwwwwwwwww āOr have dinner in Metropolis,ā she counters. I laugh. āSure. Dinner, location to be determined.ā Did she just finagle a candlelight dinner date out if an invitation for a picknick among friends? She climbs into the driverās seat and starts the car before answering. āI think mineās already been answered. Iāll save that shooting star for someone else.ā awwwwwwwwwwwwww This was a great mix of cute and heartfelt and a little bit sexy   Michael
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2021
Posts: 440 Likes: 18
Beat Reporter
|
|
OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Feb 2021
Posts: 440 Likes: 18 |
One question, since when do August evenings cool down? All the time here... If I'm visiting my step kids in southern Sask, it'll hit 40C during the day and drop below 20C overnight. After day temps that warm I get cool in the evening. Perhaps skewed by my own location... I start covering plants for frost usually mid August.
Last edited by Toomi8; 11/14/22 05:16 PM.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2021
Posts: 440 Likes: 18
Beat Reporter
|
|
OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Feb 2021
Posts: 440 Likes: 18 |
Thanks for all the love for this fic! So glad you've all enjoyed it. It's done the trick, given a bit of a boost to the muse, who is rapidly finishing off another drabble that's sat on the desktop unfinished for a few months.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,057 Likes: 20
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,057 Likes: 20 |
~ā¢~
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 1,007 Likes: 19
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 1,007 Likes: 19 |
Very tender one-shot. ^_^
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 250 Likes: 10
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 250 Likes: 10 |
I'll add my 'awwwww' to the rest of the collection. What a perfectly lovely little fic!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,578 Likes: 9
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,578 Likes: 9 |
Very sweet and beautiful!
Andreia
"My wife's love is what unites Krypton and Earth in my heart. Without it, without her, I truly would be in hell."
~ Superman: Man of Tomorrow #15
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 107 Likes: 2
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 107 Likes: 2 |
Loved this sweet little fic! 
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2023
Posts: 255 Likes: 31
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2023
Posts: 255 Likes: 31 |
I'm late to this party, but since I've got Leonid open in another tab, I thought I'd pop in here first! This was so sultry and sweet! As he turns me to face the right direction, the palm of his hand on my hip to guide me, his thumb slips under my waist-length t-shirt and is resting on my skin, just above the waistband of my jeans, where the rest of his hand remains. I answer a few general āuh-huhāsā to his explanations of the constellations, too distracted by the gentle movements of his thumb. My heart is pounding in my ears, my knees feel weak and Iām suddenly very aware that I want the rest of his hand to join his thumb. So evocative! Love this, and love Clark's varied description of the same moment later! Iām not paying attention anymore, distracted by thoughts of how much I miss that brief contact and trying not to analyze why. ...maybe it's the same reason she offered to drive him to a secluded location to star-gaze? I love the way she resists here. I glance down at her face, memorizing her enthralled, unguarded expression. I just loved this sentence - the assonance of the 'enthralled, unguarded expression' is so satisfying. āI think mineās already been answered. Iāll save that shooting star for someone else.ā Awwww! This is so great, too, because she doesn't say what her wish is, but they both still know. I'm glad there's a second installment of this! On to the Leonids!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,065 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,065 Likes: 31 |
Hi Toomi! Iād overheard Clark talking to someone in the newsroom about the Perseid meteor shower and thought Iād offer to drive him out of the city to see it, as heād never be able to get out here without a car. Awww, sheās so nice to him. Too bad he already made plans with superman. There are more stars than Iāve ever seen in my life, but I havenāt seen a meteor yet. Not even when she was hit in the head by some goon? LOIS: No, silly, thatās birds. he steps behind me, his arm outstretched, pointing towards a vague area in the sky.
But Iām not paying attention.
As he turns me to face the right direction Got distracted by a warm body! , the palm of his hand on my hip to guide me, his thumb slips under my waist-length t-shirt and is resting on my skin, just above the waistband of my jeans, where the rest of his hand remains. Completely distracted! Iām suddenly very aware that I want the rest of his hand to join his thumb. Oooooohhhh As Clark removes his hand from my waist I regret not wishing on every shooting star I just saw that we could stay just as we were a while longer. Awwwwww and identifies Mars in the sky, but his other hand stubbornly remains by his side. Youāre evoking a lot of deliciousness here. Here under the stars, alone with Clark Kent, the distractions of work and the city, my commitment to my career, the cable bill that I forgot to pay, fade away and I realize Iād rather be standing in a field, surrounded by bugs and other creatures Iād rather not think of, staring at the stars with him, than anywhere else. Sorry for quoting half the fic! My initial plan had been to fly further north where city lights wouldnāt impede the meteor display, as I had done in years past. That had vanished without regret the moment Lois had expressed interest in seeing the Perseids. Isnāt he cute? reaking the intensity of the moment, I step back, removing my hand from her waist, and point out a few more details of the night sky.
Sheās listening, but I can tell sheās not focused anymore. Yeah, that is what happens when you stop touching her. Now sheās confused and rejected and whatās that hand back. āThe Perseids will peak in the next few days. We could come back with a picnic, have a very late dinner under the stars?ā  I laugh. āSure. Dinner, location to be determined.ā The accidental date. As we arrive at the Jeep, a few brighter Perseids streak brightly across the sky. āMake a wish,ā I say as Lois unlocks the doors.
She climbs into the driverās seat and starts the car before answering. āI think mineās already been answered. Iāll save that shooting star for someone else.ā Awwwwww This was a delicious story! I might have overdoes on Warm and Fuzzy, but thatās a good(TM) thing And posting this, I just realized that I already FDK'd here last year. Talk about ooops? Hope you don't mind  Michael
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2023
Posts: 22 Likes: 3
Blogger
|
|
Blogger
Joined: Oct 2023
Posts: 22 Likes: 3 |
I love this! The pre-relationship, budding romance feels are so good! <3
āI shouldāve known better than to order chinese food from a place called Ralphās Pagoda.ā
|
|
|
|
