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#293605 11/13/22 10:51 PM
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Toomi8 Offline OP
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I took an academic writing class a few years back that had students to write a 1000 word story, and cut it to 500 words. The final cut put the story down to 100 words and while it was challenging, some really fantastic drabbles emerged. As I've been in a bit of a rut lately with the half dozen or so other fics on the go, I thought I'd challenge myself. I spotted a shooting star on the way home from a wedding rehearsal on Friday and the fic essentially wrote itself on the hour long drive home. It's not 100 words, but comes in just shy of 1000 words; a rare short piece from me!

Thanks to Anna B. The Greek for a quick beta read!

Fic is here.

If you get a chance, and clear skies, the Leonid meteor shower is supposed to peak this coming weekend (Nov 19/20). The meteor shower in the fic is the Perseids, coming to a sky near you every August.

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This was really sweet and hopeful and beautiful. It works perfectly as a short drabble. Thank you!


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Loved it. Very sweet interaction that sounds like the start of something incredible.

As a side note, my family and I viewed the Perseids last year. We each saw 10-12 meteors in only about an hour. It was really neat!

Thank you for sharing!

-Bek

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OMG this was gorgeously written!! Every word of it was so great! The imagery, the tone... The FEELS! Oh, I loved it so very much!!

Sara smile


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So beautiful and cute, a joy to read! I love those tender pre-relationship moments!


What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Iā€™m not paying attention anymore, distracted by thoughts of how much I miss that brief contact and trying not to analyze why. Here under the stars, alone with Clark Kent, the distractions of work and the city, my commitment to my career, the cable bill that I forgot to pay, fade away and I realize Iā€™d rather be standing in a field, surrounded by bugs and other creatures Iā€™d rather not think of, staring at the stars with him, than anywhere else.

Lois Lane reporter has stepped aside to let Lois Lane the woman come front and center. Perfect.

The lessons from the writing class comes through beautifully.

One question, since when do August evenings cool down? huh

Last edited by Morgana; 11/14/22 10:36 AM.

Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Loved this. I love stories set before their relationship. Fantastic work.

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Hi Toomi!
Quote
As he turns me to face the right direction, the palm of his hand on my hip to guide me, his thumb slips under my waist-length t-shirt and is resting on my skin, just above the waistband of my jeans, where the rest of his hand remains.
awww

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As Clark removes his hand from my waist I regret not wishing on every shooting star I just saw that we could stay just as we were a while longer
awwwwww

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the distractions of work and the city, my commitment to my career, the cable bill that I forgot to pay, fade away
Great little details.

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I could hardly remove my hand without the moment becoming awkward. I heard her gasp and her heartbeat quicken, and as I focused on not fumbling over my words at the sudden intimacy of the moment I failed to control the urge to gently caress her skin with my thumb.
awwwwwwwwww

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ā€œOr have dinner in Metropolis,ā€ she counters. I laugh. ā€œSure. Dinner, location to be determined.ā€
Did she just finagle a candlelight dinner date out if an invitation for a picknick among friends?

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She climbs into the driverā€™s seat and starts the car before answering. ā€œI think mineā€™s already been answered. Iā€™ll save that shooting star for someone else.ā€
awwwwwwwwwwwwww

This was a great mix of cute and heartfelt and a little bit sexy clap

wave Michael


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Toomi8 Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Morgana
One question, since when do August evenings cool down? huh

All the time here... If I'm visiting my step kids in southern Sask, it'll hit 40C during the day and drop below 20C overnight. After day temps that warm I get cool in the evening.

Perhaps skewed by my own location... I start covering plants for frost usually mid August.



Last edited by Toomi8; 11/14/22 05:16 PM.
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Toomi8 Offline OP
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Thanks for all the love for this fic! So glad you've all enjoyed it. It's done the trick, given a bit of a boost to the muse, who is rapidly finishing off another drabble that's sat on the desktop unfinished for a few months.

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Awwwwwwww! <3


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Very tender one-shot. ^_^

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I'll add my 'awwwww' to the rest of the collection. What a perfectly lovely little fic!

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Very sweet and beautiful!

Andreia


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Loved this sweet little fic! thumbsup

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I'm late to this party, but since I've got Leonid open in another tab, I thought I'd pop in here first!
This was so sultry and sweet!

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As he turns me to face the right direction, the palm of his hand on my hip to guide me, his thumb slips under my waist-length t-shirt and is resting on my skin, just above the waistband of my jeans, where the rest of his hand remains. I answer a few general ā€˜uh-huhā€™sā€™ to his explanations of the constellations, too distracted by the gentle movements of his thumb. My heart is pounding in my ears, my knees feel weak and Iā€™m suddenly very aware that I want the rest of his hand to join his thumb.
So evocative! Love this, and love Clark's varied description of the same moment later!

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Iā€™m not paying attention anymore, distracted by thoughts of how much I miss that brief contact and trying not to analyze why.
...maybe it's the same reason she offered to drive him to a secluded location to star-gaze? I love the way she resists here.

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I glance down at her face, memorizing her enthralled, unguarded expression.
I just loved this sentence - the assonance of the 'enthralled, unguarded expression' is so satisfying.

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ā€œI think mineā€™s already been answered. Iā€™ll save that shooting star for someone else.ā€
Awwww! This is so great, too, because she doesn't say what her wish is, but they both still know.

I'm glad there's a second installment of this! On to the Leonids!

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Hi Toomi!
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Iā€™d overheard Clark talking to someone in the newsroom about the Perseid meteor shower and thought Iā€™d offer to drive him out of the city to see it, as heā€™d never be able to get out here without a car.
Awww, sheā€™s so nice to him. Too bad he already made plans with superman.

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There are more stars than Iā€™ve ever seen in my life, but I havenā€™t seen a meteor yet.
Not even when she was hit in the head by some goon?
LOIS: No, silly, thatā€™s birds.

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he steps behind me, his arm outstretched, pointing towards a vague area in the sky.

But Iā€™m not paying attention.

As he turns me to face the right direction
Got distracted by a warm body!

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, the palm of his hand on my hip to guide me, his thumb slips under my waist-length t-shirt and is resting on my skin, just above the waistband of my jeans, where the rest of his hand remains.
Completely distracted!

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Iā€™m suddenly very aware that I want the rest of his hand to join his thumb.
Oooooohhhh

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As Clark removes his hand from my waist I regret not wishing on every shooting star I just saw that we could stay just as we were a while longer.
Awwwwww

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and identifies Mars in the sky, but his other hand stubbornly remains by his side.
Youā€™re evoking a lot of deliciousness here.

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Here under the stars, alone with Clark Kent, the distractions of work and the city, my commitment to my career, the cable bill that I forgot to pay, fade away and I realize Iā€™d rather be standing in a field, surrounded by bugs and other creatures Iā€™d rather not think of, staring at the stars with him, than anywhere else.
Sorry for quoting half the fic!

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My initial plan had been to fly further north where city lights wouldnā€™t impede the meteor display, as I had done in years past. That had vanished without regret the moment Lois had expressed interest in seeing the Perseids.
Isnā€™t he cute?

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reaking the intensity of the moment, I step back, removing my hand from her waist, and point out a few more details of the night sky.

Sheā€™s listening, but I can tell sheā€™s not focused anymore.
Yeah, that is what happens when you stop touching her. Now sheā€™s confused and rejected and whatā€™s that hand back.

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ā€œThe Perseids will peak in the next few days. We could come back with a picnic, have a very late dinner under the stars?ā€
laugh

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I laugh. ā€œSure. Dinner, location to be determined.ā€
The accidental date.


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As we arrive at the Jeep, a few brighter Perseids streak brightly across the sky. ā€œMake a wish,ā€ I say as Lois unlocks the doors.

She climbs into the driverā€™s seat and starts the car before answering. ā€œI think mineā€™s already been answered. Iā€™ll save that shooting star for someone else.ā€
Awwwwww


This was a delicious story! I might have overdoes on Warm and Fuzzy, but thatā€™s a good(TM) thing clap

And posting this, I just realized that I already FDK'd here last year. Talk about ooops? Hope you don't mind wink

wave Michael


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I love this! The pre-relationship, budding romance feels are so good! <3


ā€œI shouldā€™ve known better than to order chinese food from a place called Ralphā€™s Pagoda.ā€

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