Hubby and I were fooling around a little. There is a famous German sketch in which the comedian (I know, German comedian seems to be a contradiction, but the sketch is awesome) has several organs talk to each other. We were imagining what that talk inside a man's body might look like before engaging in intimacy, and suddenly, the wild ideas were flooding me and this little plot bunny dug it's teeth into me. So here you go with another Inside Out adaption. Inside A Honeymooner’s Mind Lois and Clark were looking at each other in awe. Both their cheeks were tinted with a slight flush. The temperature in the room seemed to have gotten up by several degrees. There was an almost palpable tension between them. Dressed as Superman, Clark put down the last of their bags. Slowly, he stepped closer to Lois and wrapped his arms around her.
“Hello, Wife,” he murmured huskily.
Lois smiled at him. “Hello, Husband. I still can't believe it…”
If he was completely honest, Clark couldn’t believe it either. There was a lot going on inside his mind.
Fear was pacing back and forth behind the console, tearing at his hair. “You’re absolutely sure, there are no frogs here?” He eyed every single of his fellow emotions. “Don’t you think we should check again? I mean-”
“We checked like ten times now.“ Joy shook his head and chuckled. “I guarantee there isn’t a single frog within a mile of this apartment. And now, shush. She’s still talking to us. This is important. We are not going to ruin the moment.”
Lois continued. “We're really actually married! It feels like a dream.”
“Perhaps checking one last time won’t hurt?” Fear suggested meekly.
Sadness and Anger merely shook their heads.
“No way!” Disgust curled his lips. “If we’re extending the super hearing now, he’ll hear another cry for help. I don’t want to try and explain that to her.”
“Keep it quiet, guys,” Joy admonished them. “Nobody is going to hear any cry for help tonight. And now let’s listen to her!”
The five emotions turned their attention back on the screen.
“It's not, right?" Lois’ eyes had widened slightly. Her emotions seemed to share Fears' concerns. “I mean, I know that's silly, but on the other hand, given our history together…”
Fear squealed and started running around frantically. “Did we x-ray her ankle? I mean, if she’s having the same worries, then maybe…”
Anger stared Fear down. “Oh, will you shut up?”
Disgust rolled his eyes. “And just for the record, we did x-ray her ankle.”
A red light flashed on the screen and bold letters appeared, saying “Jerk Alarm.”
Fear, Joy, Anger and Disgust stared at the screen, completely flabbergasted.
"What the hell is that?" Anger pointed at the bold, red letters, fuming.
“I set that up.” A deep blush tinted Sadness cheeks. "When we were talking about tonight and how it was crucial that we behave like perfect gentlemen-”
“I said, x-ray her ankle, not x-ray her clothing.” Disgust rolled his eyes. “There
is a difference.”
Sadness shrunk a little. “I might have set the parameters a bit too narrow.”
Anger huffed.. “You bet you did.”
“Could we please concentrate, guys?" Fear piped up. "Did we x-ray the right ankle?”
“As far as I remember, it was her left ankle,” Disgust deadpanned.
Fear glared at him. “I know, it's her left ankle and not her right ankle. I just wanted to make sure we x-rayed the right ankle, er, I mean left… Oh, nevermind."
"Now, take a deep breath everyone and calm down," Joy admonished. "I said we're not going to ruin this. Now stay quiet. I need to concentrate."
He pushed a button and Superman leaned in. Their lips touched in a passionate kiss.
"That feel like a dream?
Lois' eyes fluttered shut, seeming completely overwhelmed by the sensation.
"Come true," she whispered hoarsely.
Joy gave the other emotions a smug smile, before he pushed the next button. "To be continued in Hawaii. Ready?"
Lois nodded. "Ready…"
Five emotions sighed with relief.
"Finally!" Joy rubbed his hands. "And if anyone says another word, I dump them in the long term memory!"
Lois clapped her hand to her mouth. "Wait, I'm missing a bag. I must've left it at home." She made a flying motion. "Do you mind?"
Joy let out a groan of frustration. "Oh no, not another delay!"
"It's going to take all of five seconds to get that bag," Fear pointed out. "And we don't want to incur her wrath, do we?"
"She's not going to be angry because of a single bag," Joy grumbled. "I can't take it any longer. I've been waiting for this for twenty seven years!"
"Oh, really?" Disgust snorted. "You're telling me that you've been dreaming of sex when you were still an infant? Or a toddler? Or like ten or twelve years old?"
"We had other problems in our teenage years than drooling over women," Sadness pointed out, his voice thick.
Joy threw his hands up. "Okay, ten years. I've been waiting for ten years. That's still a long time. Now can we please get down to business?"
Another bright red alarm flashed, covering the screen in bold letters. "Jerk Alarm."
"Sadness, turn that thing off," Joy cried. Frantically, he pushed several buttons and the alarm died down.
Superman's voice turned husky. "Something tells me we won't be needing a lot of clothes on our honeymoon, Lois."
A sultry smile appeared on her lips. "Yeah, but it's got that little red teddy you bought me -"
"Why didn't she say that right away?" Joy jumped up and down, before he pressed a button. "Engaging superspeed."
Within the blink of an eye, Superman dashed out of his apartment, got the suitcase and returned.
Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust found themselves on the floor as Superman stopped in front of Lois.
"You could have given us a bit more of a warning," Anger growled.
He got up on wobbly legs, as did the other three emotions.
"- in it." Lois just finished her sentence.
"Oh, stop being such a sissy.” Joy stuck out his tongue at Anger, before he turned his attention back on the console. He pushed another button, plastering a huge grin on Superman's face.
"This the bag?"
Lois raised a brow. "Hope you don't do everything that fast."
Joy jumped up and down. "Did you hear that guys? That was practically an invitation!"
He worked at the console and a moment later Superman swept Lois up into his arms and floated toward the bed.
"One way to find out."
"Are we sure we're ready for this?" Fear trembled. His eyes were wide and his complexion gray rather than purple.
Anger pursed his lips. "You're not suggesting we stop now, are you? We made sure there are no frogs and no clones. Both Lois and Clark have the same size."
Disgust nodded emphatically. "Not to mention New Kryptonians, crazy billionaires or psychologists. Nobody has lost their memories…"
Fear clutched his arms around himself. "But Clark is still Kryptonian, and -"
Joy crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Will you shut up, all four of you. The manual says that Clark needs to be relaxed for this to work."
"The manual, the manual," Anger murmured. "The guy is Kryptonian, not human. Who says the manual is even right?"
Joy shook his head and held up a book with strange letters on the front page. "Kryptonian guy, Kryptonian manual."
Disgust let out a huff. "Which is why we have trouble reading it."
Joy clenched his hands into tight fists. "We did learn a little Kryptonian, back when - oh nevermind,” he interrupted himself. “We’re not going to engage in a discussion about this darn manual. We’re here, finally. Lois is the right woman, it’s the right time. This needs a little romantic atmosphere.” Joy’s fingers danced across the console.
The first chords of “Love Hurts” from Nazareth resounded in Clark’s head.
Disgust covered his eyes with his hands. “Really? That’s the best you’ve got? This sounds like a cry for help rather than a romantic atmosphere.”
“What about Hawaii?” Lois asked.
“See?” Anger pointed at the screen. “Not even Lois is buying it.”
Sadness placed a hand on Joy’s shoulder. “We shouldn’t rush this. This needs candles and the right music and-”
“Good grief!” Joy tore at his hair. “No one ever mentioned this was going to be so difficult. The manual said something about relaxing and kissing and that the rest would sort of happen automatically. Now would you all please just keep your mouths shut? We’re going to go through with this now!”
“Jerk Alarm” flashed in bold red letters on the screen.
“Sadness, turn that damn alarm off,” Disgust, Anger and Joy groaned in unison.
Anger stomped toward the console and started pushing buttons until the alarm stopped. “Joy is right. We should do this now, I mean who knows what’s next? A bridge collapsing? Luthor rising from his grave?”
He returned to his chair and slumped down. “Okay, Joy, the console is all yours, but please find another song.”
Tentatively, Joy made his way back to the controls. “Hawaii can wait, we can't. We've been through too much just to get to this point, this moment.”
A smile played around Lois’ lips before she leaned in and kissed Clark passionately.
Joy did a little dance beside the console. “See, it’s working! I’m now changing to intimacy mode.” He grinned at the others, as warm red lights illuminated the Headquarters. With a huge grin, Joy added. “Initiating First Time.”
Lois and Clark tumbled onto the bed, sharing passionate kisses, their hands carefully exploring each other.
The five emotions hugged and cheered.
Even Disgust couldn’t help but smile as they all sat down at the console. “Okay, this really needs some music guys.” A moment later, the sound of violins filled the Headquarters. “Let’s make this the best core memory anyone has ever had of their first time. And Lois deserves one, too. So we better not mess this up.”
Fear paled. “That’s an awful lot of pressure.”
Joy gave Fear’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Don’t worry, we’re Superman.”
“Yeah,” Fear conceded. “But we’re also a virgin.”
“Shush, you,” Joy admonished him. “This is absolutely not the time for self-doubts. And now let’s enjoy the moment.”
Completely mesmerized, the five emotions listened to the small moans of pleasure that escaped Lois’ lips. They took each other’s hands, an atmosphere of giddiness and excitement settling over the Headquarters.
“It’s going to happen any moment now,” Joy whispered in awe.
Right in that moment, a loud knock at Clark’s front door made the five emotions jump on their chairs. They almost tumbled down.
“That’s not true,” Anger growled. He stormed toward the console and started to press buttons with a frenzy.
However, nothing happened. The five emotions stared at each other in disbelief.
“Politeness protocol activated,” a voice said.
Before Anger knew what was happening, a transparent force field appeared around him and separated him from the others.
“What the hell is that?” Anger growled.
“I think this is a safety measure that dates back to Clark’s teens,” Sadness replied quietly.
“Then turn it off!” Anger fumed. “I want to kill whoever is interrupting us now. This must be some kind of curse.”
“We can’t shut it off,” Joy sighed unhappily. “That’s the whole point of a safety protocol, isn’t it? For the time being, Clark is running on autopilot. I guess, we have no choice but to find out who is outside that door.”
Disgust ran his hands through his hair. “I have a feeling that we’re also going to find out if Clark’s invulnerability will save him from dying of frustration.”
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