Summary: Clark has always seemed a little trigger happy when it comes to popping the question. He really needs to work on talking himself out of it. A Seussian tale* in iambic tetrameter.
Author’s Note: I have no idea how this happened, really. I could say KSaraSara made me do it, and that would probably be the truth. But I can’t ignore that there was also too little sleep involved and probably one too many Clark-is-totally-ready-to-propose-already jokes… In any case, um, enjoy? And Happy Ficlet Friday!
I’m Superman
By Bek
I am him.
Him I am.
I’m Superman!
I’m Superman!
I must tell her I’m Superman!
Will you ask her for her hand?
I must tell her I’m Superman.
Before I ask her for her hand.
Would you ask her here or there?
I cannot ask her here or there.
I cannot ask her anywhere.
I cannot ask her for her hand
Until she knows I’m Superman.
Would you ask her in a house?
Would you ask to be her spouse?
I cannot ask her in a house.
I cannot ask to be her spouse.
I cannot ask her here or there.
I cannot ask her anywhere.
I cannot ask her for her hand.
Until she knows I’m Superman.
Would you ask her with a box?
Would the ring have diamond rocks?
Not with a box. Not diamond rocks.
Not in a house. To be her spouse.
I would not ask her here or there.
I would not ask her anywhere.
I would not ask her for her hand
Until she knows I’m Superman.
Would you? Could you? In a car?
Ask her! Ask her! There you are.
I would not, could not, in a car.
You can ask her. You will see.
You can ask her in a tree!
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! She must know me.
I cannot ask her with a box.
I cannot ask with diamond rocks.
I cannot ask her in a house.
I cannot ask to be her spouse.
I cannot ask her here or there.
I cannot ask her anywhere.
I cannot ask her for her hand
Until she knows I’m Superman.
A train! A train! A train! A train!
Could you, would you on a train?
Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! It’s wrong you see!
I would not, could not with a box.
I would not, could not with those rocks.
I will not ask to be her spouse.
I will not ask her in a house.
I will not ask her here or there.
I will not ask her anywhere.
I will not ask her for her hand
Until she knows I’m Superman.
Say! In the dark! Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not, in the dark.
Would you, could you in the rain?
[there is a pause. Clark seems to consider this, then he shakes his head]
I would not, could not in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train.
Not in a car. Not in a tree.
I cannot ask, it’s wrong, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
To be my spouse with diamond rocks.
I will not ask her here or there.
I cannot ask her anywhere!
You cannot ask her for her hand?
Not ‘til she knows I’m Superman.
Could you, would you, with a note?
I would not, could not with a note!
Would you, could you, on a boat?
I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not with a note.
I will not ask her in the rain.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! It’s wrong you see!
I cannot ask her with a box.
I cannot ask with diamond rocks.
I will not ask her in a house.
I cannot ask to be her spouse.
I cannot ask her here or there.
I cannot ask her anywhere!
I cannot ask her for her hand!
Until she knows I’m Superman.
You cannot ask her. So you say.
Tell her! Tell her! And you may.
Tell her and you may, I say.
Fine! If she knows all of me,
I will ask her, you will see.
[...and he tells her...]
Say! Now she knows I’m Superman!
And she still loves me as I am!
And I will ask her in a boat.
And I will ask her with a note…
And I will ask her in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
And she’ll say yes, yes, yes, you see!
So I will ask her with a box.
And I will ask with diamond rocks.
And I will ask her in a house.
And I will ask to be her spouse.
And I will ask her here and there.
Say! I will ask her anywhere!
Now that she knows I’m Superman!
I can ask her for her hand.
The End.
*Story is based on Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Suess, published by Random House, 1960.
