Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Save A Slice of Pie For Me (8/15)

Jon sat alone in a chair on the front porch, staring out toward the vast cornfields in the distance. It was getting late; the Sun was already making its final descent, turning the sky varying shades of orange and pink and yellow. But he hadn’t been called back inside for dinner yet, and so he just sat there, as he had for the better part of the last hour, watching the light breeze ruffle the cornstalks and trying to keep his mind clear.

Although he could still hear the quiet voices of his mom and grandparents from inside the house, he’d been successful at blocking their thoughts as long as he concentrated.

The other voice, however—his dad’s voice—he hadn’t been able to block that, even when he’d been trying. It had come and gone all afternoon. Quietly and undemanding. Just…there. And always with a sadness and regret to it. An apology, even if the words weren’t clear or obvious. The intent of an apology, really. And an intense love rivaling that he felt from his mom.

Jon really did understand a lot more now. But that didn’t necessarily make any of this easier.

His mom had explained everything to him. She’d told him how difficult the decision had been, but that ultimately, his father—Clark Kent, AKA Superman—had left with the New Kryptonians almost nine years ago…how he’d felt an obligation to help stop a war and save his people. And she’d told him how they’d expected him to be gone for weeks or months, maybe. Not years. He’d felt her pain and sadness and a certainty, which she nevertheless shrouded in a hope that she was wrong, that his father would not be returning…that if he’d been able to return, he would have already done so. Her pain had consumed him, to the point where he’d felt a physical aching in his chest. However, he’d managed to stay quiet, clinging to her tightly while she’d continued. She’d then told him about how she’d found out she was pregnant, and how it had been the best day of her life when he’d been born. And she’d told him how sorry she was that they hadn’t told him the truth sooner.

And, as she did every day, all the time, she’d reminded him how much he was loved.

He closed his eyes for a minute as he heard her words again. “I promise you, Jon, Clark—your father—he had no idea. Neither of us knew. He…wouldn’t have left if he’d known. He wouldn’t even have considered leaving. You…my perfect little boy…you’re our miracle child. God, Jon, he would have loved you. So much.”

And he’d felt her tears mingle with his own as she’d kissed his cheeks and hugged him even tighter.

He didn’t know how he felt now, really. He still felt the anger; it was still there, in the back of his mind. And when he felt the little persistent presence of his father’s thoughts—<<I’m sorry, Jon.>> <<Three hours closer now, buddy.>> <<I can’t wait to meet you.>> <<I love you, kiddo.>>—he wasn’t sure whether to be excited or to be upset.

He needed to tell his mom and grandparents. But he was terrified of that too. What if…what if his mind was tricking him? What if the voice in his head wasn’t really his dad’s? How much would that hurt…if he told them, “Hey, Dad’s gonna be home in four days!” and then…he didn’t show up?

So, he’d done what he’d been so angry at them for doing. He’d not been completely honest. Although he hadn’t exactly confirmed it, he certainly hadn’t denied it when his mom had asked him if he’d been “hearing” things. He sort of had been… But he’d known his mom had meant really hearing things. And that was not what was happening.

<<Another hour closer. I wish I could make this little ship fly faster.>> A pause, filled with hope and sadness together. <<I have to try to get some sleep now. I love you, Jon.>>

Jon squeezed his eyes shut again and pulled his knees up to his chest. He would not cry again. And he would not answer the voice. Not until he was ready. And he wasn’t quite ready yet. He wasn’t. He was sure of it.

But as he felt his father’s presence drift away, leaving only an empty silence surrounding him, something inside him shook loose, and he suddenly reached out with a desperation he’d never known before, clinging onto the last tendrils of his father’s final thoughts.

<<I love you, too, Dad.>>

Almost immediately, he felt a smile. Bright and warm, like the Sun. And this time, when his father’s thoughts faded from his mind, the emptiness didn’t feel quite so lonely.