As I'm posting the next two chapters, I can't help but think about my old history teacher, who would have said: "Nu mal Butter bei die Fische". That translates to "(add some) butter to the fishes" and she said it wheneven she wanted us to add something substantial to the discussion. (In case you're studying German as a second language, the phrase is dialect from nothern Germany and not at all correct in high German. Wrong article, wrong case, wrong pronoun, you name it. But if you could tell all that you might really impress your German teacher ;))
So here it is, the answer to the question what the hell is going on and why I chose the title "A Matter of Trust"
I'm posting two chapters on one day because the cliffhanger of this one is too evil to leave you hanging even for one day. And if you read this fourth chapter and decide that no, this is absolutely not your cup of tea, do yourself a favor: open chapter five and read the first few paragraphs. If you still decide that this is not your type of story, then I'm sorry to have lost you as a reader.
This chapter should also come with a content warning, for those people who are extremely sensitive to some topics. If you read the spoiler and decide that you're not willing to go down that road, but are curious what the hell I've cooked up, you should be fine to continue reading chapter five. More details in the spoiler.
This chapter contains a description of sexually aggressive male behaviour. It's not overly graphic and nothing happens beyond kissing and a bit of undressing. Chapter 5 has the same scene, but without the angst. So you'd still get a glimpse of what's happening without having to suffer through Lois' thoughts. If you decide to skip that part of the story, you should stop reading after "You are so beautiful my dear" and jump to Chapter 5 to read the rest. I promise I'm not going to elaborate on any of this through the rest of the story.
It was almost seven when Lois stood in front of her bathroom mirror and splashed cold water into her face. Time had done little to calm her nerves. And without another lead to go on Lois hadn't had much success distracting herself with work.
None of her usual snitches, including Bobby Bigmouth, had seen or heard anything about Nigel St. John, Gretchen Kelly or Asabi. No one had witnessed the murder of Ramin Tarbush. And according to eyewitness reports, Bender had clutched at his neck and collapsed on his ship. No one had seen anyone close by who might have been a suspect. It was frustrating to say the least.
And then there was the issue with Clark.
He'd returned after a while, had even come back with a Superman exclusive. And for a while, Lois had thought that she had finally managed to overcome the strange notion that something was going on with Clark. He'd been his usual charming self, for the most part.
But there had been these instances, these little reminders that just wouldn't let her go. Like the fact that Clark hadn't brought her a single cup of coffee all day. As if he had any obligation to do so, which obviously he didn't. Or the fact that she had needed to edit his copy, while he'd missed several spelling errors of hers. It was another telltale sign of how distracted he was. And she was starting to doubt herself that she was even being bothered by that, because honestly, it could happen to anyone. Clark was no exception.
Lois wiped her face dry and applied some make-up. Her gaze darted toward her wristwatch, realizing with a twinge of panic that she barely had the time to get herself ready before Clark was going to knock on her door.
She’d chosen a sleeveless knee-length black dress with a rather modest neckline. It wasn’t too revealing, but it accented her curves in all the right places. Lois wanted to look nice for Clark, though she knew very well that he wouldn't care if she'd appear in slacks and with no make-up at all. He'd look at her the same way, full of love and awe. Her heart fluttered at the thought.
But as bad as their day had been, she was desperately aiming for that hitch to his breath when he would look at her, hopefully stunned speechless. She needed that if she wanted to have any hope at all to settle into a comfortable dating atmosphere with him tonight. Her crazy fears had kept her from relaxing all day.
Lois had just put her lipstick down when she heard the knock at the door. She checked her appearance one last time and gave her mirror image a reassuring smile. It didn't look all that convincing.
"Get a grip, girl," she chastised herself quietly. "This is Clark. He's
not disaster material. Don't blow this. He might not give you another chance." She took a deep breath and straightened.
Loud enough for Clark to hear, she yelled, "Coming."
He was smiling as Lois opened the door, holding out a large bouquet of flowers that must have cost a small fortune.
"I missed you." Clark leaned in and brushed his lips against her cheek.
Lois felt his gentle touch, the whiff of his breath and the warmth radiating from him. A jolt of excitement rushed through her and her skin was tingling a bit where his velvet lips touched her. He'd put on a different cologne, unfamiliar, but not unpleasant.
Clark's voice turned husky, his lips still lingering against her cheek. "God, you smell so good."
A soft moan escaped his lips, sending a flutter of delight through her belly. She'd hoped to see admiration in his eyes when he picked her up. But he seemed infinitely more affected by her presence than she'd anticipated. There was no doubt Clark was head over heels in love with her. Really in love with her. The nervousness that had plagued her all day was beginning to dissipate.
Clark wouldn't just go and break her heart to steal her story, he wouldn't…
Lois felt his hands on her hips. He pressed her flush against his body and his lips searched hers hungrily. And suddenly, it was her breath catching in the back of her throat. His kiss wasn't quite what she'd expected. The few times Clark had kissed her before, she’d known he’d been holding back. His lips had met hers with a gentle brush to say goodbye or a shy probing of his tongue as he’d kissed her to distract the housemaid.
Now, this was something else entirely. His tongue darted forward, demanding entrance to her mouth. There was nothing shy about his kiss. Lois was taken by surprise, stumbling back a few steps as he moved in. The bouquet of flowers fell from his hand to the floor. With his foot, he closed the door and pushed her until she stood with her back pressed against the wall. His hands roamed her body, exploring her curves.
She'd been fantasizing about Clark kissing her again, with passion, with abandon. So many nights she had wondered what it would be like if he didn't hold back. If there wasn't a life-and-death situation they were trying to get out of, or a maid who wanted to change towels.
The reality of his kiss was sobering. She'd expected there to be more. Maybe not quite violins starting to play in her head, but something, anything really, but sloppy lips that pressed a kiss far too aggressive to evoke any kind of romantic feelings.
Within moments, the flutter of excitement was replaced by a sense of unease. Lois couldn't believe what was happening. She’d never expected Clark to be so forward. He’d always seemed a little tongue-tied around her. But that tongue was anything but tied.
Or was that just her? Was his kissing okay, but she couldn't enjoy it, because she was freezing up again? A shiver ran down her spine. Lois Lane, the ice queen, frigid, no fun to be with. She'd heard that so often. Her heart clenched at the thought that Clark would say so, too. With him, it'd hurt so much more than with any of the other guys.
Lois tried to give in, to go with the flow, because he'd soon stop kissing her, anyway. They were supposed to have dinner.
But he didn't stop.
“Clark!” Lois chuckled uneasily between his hungry kisses. "We have a reservation."
He stopped kissing her just long enough to speak. "Dinner can wait a little longer."
Then his lips were on hers again, just as intensely. Again, Lois waited for the same passion to take hold of her. But the truth was, she just felt crowded. And she felt no longer amused by his eagerness. This was supposed to be their first date. Why didn't he give her some time to adjust? Clark wasn't usually so blind to her feelings!
Reaching for his shoulders, she gently tried to get some distance between them, to slow things down. He didn’t budge, though. To Lois it seemed as if he hadn't even noticed her attempt to stop him. Her irritation with Clark grew.
“I’ve been waiting for this for so long,” he murmured against her cheek. “You are so beautiful, my dear.”
Oblivious to her protest, his hands found the zipper on the back of her dress. Lois froze as she felt him fumbling. Only seconds later, he was sliding the zipper down expertly. The straps of her dress slipped down her shoulders, stopping at her elbows. Suddenly, her bra and bare cleavage was revealed to Clark’s eager gaze. She saw his appreciative smile.
"What are you doing, Clark?" She glared at him.
A strong surge of anger rushed through her. With one hand she reached for the straps of her dress, trying to pull it back in place.
How dare he? How could this be happening to her? How could Clark do such a thing? How could he assume that agreeing to date him meant that he had the permission to kiss her like that, even to undress her?
She pushed harder against his shoulders. But instead of retreating, his hands caught her wrists. His thumbs caressed the back of her hands as if his steely grip was just a way of showing her his affection, not a scarily effective way of keeping her trapped. Her dress slid back down, once more revealing her bra.
Lois’ growl of protest was muted as he pressed his mouth hard onto hers and swallowed whatever words she was trying to form. His body was solid against hers, pressing into her and leaving little doubt how he wanted this to end. Lois tried to suppress the whimper of fear that threatened to escape her lips. This wasn’t happening! He was setting her up, he had to. Surely, he wouldn't go through with it? He couldn't! Clark had withstood the dance of the seven veils; he was a gentleman. There was no way Clark would use force on a woman to get what he wanted, would he?
She fought him with everything she was worth, struggled against his grip and tried to wriggle herself out of this trap. His lips left hers, starting to nuzzle the side of her neck, still completely ignorant of her discomfort. It was as if she was writhing with pleasure under his ministrations, not trying to fight him off. Could he really be that dense, or did he simply not care about her feelings?
"You don't know how much I've wanted to do this since…" He trailed off, placing more kisses along the side of her neck.
Lois had dreamed about Clark kissing her this way. She’d spent many sleepless hours envisioning what it might be like to make love to him. But wasn't this something that was supposed to happen after a few dates and not before the first one had even started?
“Clark, stop it,” she ground out, making another attempt to free herself.
This time, he backed away a little, but not enough to alleviate the awful feeling of entrapment. If anything, it was only increased, because Lois sensed that what little distance Clark had graced her with had nothing to do with her efforts to set the boundaries. She'd never expected him to be this strong. How could he be unable to open a jar but hold her in place without the least sign of exertion?
Clark's eyes fixed on her, his gaze dark with desire and something infinitely more sinister. “Don’t you like what I’m doing, dear?” The underlying threat was unmistakable. He kissed the wrist of her right hand that he still held in a firm grip. “I promise I will make it worth your while.”
He resumed kissing her neck. Lois intensified her struggle against his grip, but all her Taekwondo training was just plain useless against him. How was that even possible? Intense rage rushed through her as she fought against the deep sense of helplessness threatening to overwhelm her. How could she have been so wrong about a man, again, and in the worst way imaginable? Her previous experiences with guys hadn’t been anything to brag about, but at least none of them had raped her.
But deep down, she felt that this was exactly what was going to happen if she didn’t find a way to stop him.
"Clark, let go of me, I don't want this," she tried again.
"Oh, but you do, you'll see," he whispered huskily. “I know how to make you feel good about yourself.”
With every sloppy kiss, it became more and more obvious that he had no intention of listening to her pleas. He wasn't going to back off until he had what he wanted. Hot tears of fear and fury rolled down Lois' cheeks. She wouldn't be able to stop him, not with words anyway.
But there was no way she was going to let him take away her dignity. Lois resumed her struggle, but it was just as futile as it had been before.
“Clark, no!” she shouted.
“Oh, come on, you know you want it as much as I do,” he replied and pressed his body more fully against hers.
She could feel the evidence of his desire for her as his lips captured her mouth in another fierce kiss. It was stealing her breath, but not in a comfortable way. Lois’ mind raced. What was she going to do? How was she going to make him listen, when clearly he was so set out on forcing her that he wouldn’t take no for an answer? Against her will, she felt tears streaming down her cheeks and she hated herself for it.
A low moan escaped Clark’s throat and suddenly, his kiss turned much gentler. Warm lips moved against hers. His tongue was no longer forcing its way into her mouth, but playfully flickered against hers. He suckled at her lower lip and his hands on her body were no longer invading her privacy, but caressing her lovingly. He'd retreated a bit, no longer pressing into her. His mouth on hers felt so good. It was almost too easy to lose herself in this kiss, that was so much more like the playful necking in the Honeymoon Suite. That was exactly what she'd been dreaming about so many nights.
With a start, Lois realized that she was actually about to cave under his gentle ministrations. This couldn’t be happening! So the jerk had changed tactics? That didn’t mean she’d have to fall for it. And she’d be damned if she didn’t make him realize that he just couldn’t have his way with her! She pushed hard against his shoulders, but once again, he didn’t budge. Well, then, he left her no choice!
