Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic A Matter of Trust 17/33

TOC


Chapter 17:

Lois had almost given up hope when she finally spotted him. He looked worn out, his features haggard and pale. The baseball cap hid most of his face. Clark's thick spare frames and the fake beard gave him the appearance of a stranger. If she hadn't seen him the night before, she'd never have recognized him.

The rush of relief that went through her as she saw him, tired but otherwise unharmed, almost knocked her off her feet. She wanted to call out to him and touch him to see for herself that he was okay.

So many questions whirled through her mind. Her lips were already open to act on the impulse, but then she clamped her mouth shut. Her heart was racing as she remembered that she couldn't be sure this was Clark. The man who looked like Lex Luthor when he took off the cap and the glasses might after all be Lex.

Lois' throat tightened. Would he know of this place if he were Lex?

The presence of the man who'd stopped in his tracks several yards from her hiding place didn't make her uncomfortable. Lois liked to believe that she felt whenever Clark was around her, the quiet strength surrounding him wrapped itself around her like a blanket of comfort. Could she trust her instincts?

She was loath to be fooled by Lex.

A faint humming filled the air, completely out of tune. Lois strained her ears, trying to make sense of the sounds. She didn't recognize the melody. The humming became louder as the man who could either be Lex or Clark continued to approach. Lois stepped back into the shadows.

The sounds turned a bit more melodious as whoever was humming them continued. A sense of comfort washed over Lois, like strong arms that were wrapped around her in a gentle embrace. As she closed her eyes she could almost remember a smell, warm and reassuring. The melody resumed and this time, she heard the words as well.



Lois suddenly knew where she'd heard that song before.

She‘d been in Superman's arms. He'd shown her how dancing was supposed to be like - hovering a foot or two above the floor and swaying to the music, literally weightless. She still had fond memories of that evening. The awkwardness between them after her declaration of love had finally been dispelled.

Without realizing what she was doing, she hummed with him. Their combined efforts sounded a bit distorted since Clark wasn't much of a singer, not even with Lex’ voice. But even so, she wasn't sure she'd ever heard a sweeter melody.

She stepped out of the shadows, her voice cracking with all the pent-up emotions as she spoke. "Clark?"

A smile spread across his lips. "Lois!"

A moment later she was in his arms, hugging him. Tears of relief sprang to her eyes. Though he felt nothing like Clark, there was still something familiar about his embrace. The quiet comfort he offered was generous and undemanding. She just knew that he'd be happy to stay with her like this forever if she'd ask him to. He wouldn't push for more.

How could she have believed that the man who'd attacked her was Clark?

She reveled in his touch and leaned into his chest. He sucked in a breath and pulled back a little, perhaps to show her that he wasn't going to invade her personal space. It was both sweet and frustrating. She missed him, and until a moment ago, she hadn't even realized how much.

When she closed her eyes it was easier to forget that the man looked like someone who'd done everything in his power to cut her off from her friends, who'd betrayed her like no one else in her long line of federal disasters.

But what about Clark?

He'd also lied to her and made a fool out of her by letting her believe he was two people.

But he hadn't done it to lure her into a trap. He’d just wanted to keep his parents safe - not only them, but her as well.

How many villains would be willing to kill to learn Superman's secret, to find out just how vulnerable he truly was? Though part of her still felt hurt that he'd kept something this big from her, she couldn't really fault him for it.

"I'm so glad to see you," he whispered. "How are you holding up?"

“You’re asking me that?” She laughed at the absurdity of his question and took a step back to look at him. The love in his eyes shone through, warming her from within.

But there were also lines of pain around his mouth.

She let go of him. "What is it? Am I hurting you?"

He cracked a smile and waved off her concern. "It's nothing. Just a few bruised ribs that give me some trouble. I'm fine."

She took in his pallor. "You don't look fine. In fact, you look terrible. What happened at the harbor? Did he hurt you?”

His eyes widened in obvious alarm. “You know about that?”

He turned even paler and ran a weary hand over his face. His shoulders sagged in defeat.

Clark's reaction confused her. Why shouldn’t she know about Lex’ attack on him? Was his ego bruised because he’d been forced to hide from a superpowered being? Whatever Lex had done to him, he’d managed to escape, hadn’t he? Else he wouldn’t be standing in front of her, tired and battered but alive.

Before Lois had a chance to ask him about it, Clark continued, his voice hoarse. “How many people know that Superman caused the explosion at the docks?”

Lois’ breath caught as it dawned on her that Clark was more concerned with Superman’s good name than with his own health. She wasn't quite sure whether she should be angry or sympathetic about it.

Clark must have worked hard to create the image of an infallible hero. Knowing that it was her partner underneath that suit, a man with quirks and problems like everyone else, made Superman even more impressive in her book. But she'd never truly considered the effort it might take him to live up to that image, as if Superman was somehow perfect by default.

Now, with Luthor in Superman's body, the symbol Clark had so painstakingly brought to life was at risk. If Superman turned evil, people would no longer look up to him. They'd fear him - and how was Clark supposed to live among people when everyone was afraid of him?

Lois felt the enormity of that realization crashing down on her. She swallowed hard against her suddenly dry throat.

"Only you, me, Jimmy and the old guy who witnessed the attack," she finally managed.

Some of the pent-up tension seeped out of him and he relaxed a bit. “That’s good.”

He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, then bit his lip as if he was struggling with something. When he dropped his hand, there was a look of pure determination on his face.

“You need to tell Henderson, too. And Mayson."

Lois gasped. “What? You can’t be serious. Clark - if they knew-”

“They’re going to find out anyway. Don’t you realize that?” He started pacing, though it was obvious he could barely stand on his feet. “The fire department will investigate the scene. They’ve seen enough examples of the damage caused by my heat vision to know that it was me.”

Lois tried to lay a hand on his shoulder, but he pulled away, clearly too distressed to accept her comfort. She wished she could somehow help him, snap her fingers and make everything all right again. If only she'd been stubborn about going to the precinct - maybe they'd be investigating a story instead of having a date. But she'd gladly pull an all-night stakeout with him rather than see him so desperate.

“It wasn’t you!” Lois protested. “It was Lex.”

Clark snorted. “No one is going to believe that. I doubt even Henderson would buy it. But if we tell them that there is something wrong with Superman and that we have a plan to stop him and promise that he will turn himself in once this is all over…” He heaved a small sigh and looked at her unhappily. “Maybe they’ll give us a chance. Maybe I’ll find a way to explain the situation and redeem myself.”

From the way he was staring at his feet and chewing on his lower lip, she could tell that he hadn’t even managed to convince himself, much less her.

“Do we even have a plan?” she asked quietly.

He shrugged and sagged against the wall, letting out a slow breath. “After you left me in the sewage reclamation facility, I returned into my body and had a conversation with Luthor’s physician. Kelly told me that Luthor used some kind of stone to transfer our souls. We need to get a hold of that - and kryptonite.”

Lois frowned. “That’s your plan? Find some stone we know nothing about and weaken Lex with kryptonite we don’t have and don’t know how to obtain?”

He pursed his lips. “Got any better ideas?”

Lois opened her lips to tell him she had plenty of ideas, that practically any plan she could come up with had a bigger chance of success than his. But the truth was - well, it just wasn’t true. Her shoulders slumped in defeat and she shook her head. Clark nodded glumly and stared ahead, then resumed pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I didn’t think so,” he muttered.

Lois cringed. This wasn’t helpful at all. “Rollie Vale might have stashed away some kryptonite,” she said. “The guy who created Metallo.”

Clark blinked in slight irritation. “What’s with him? Isn’t he in jail?”

Lois shook her head. “Henderson told me that he was found dead this morning. Nigel St. John and Sheldon Bender paid him a visit yesterday.”

“Then St. John probably already has kryptonite.” Clark let out a soft groan. “I wonder what he wants with it.”

He seemed to sag a bit more as his list of worries grew. Lois’ heart went out to him. She’d never seen Clark quite like this - so defeated. He usually was the ever-optimistic guy who always saw a glimmer of hope when no one else could see it. Not even facing an asteroid had seemed to put a dent in his positive look on life. Any remnants of anger she might have felt about his deception vanished completely. All Lois could see was a friend in need.

No, scratch that - the man she loved was bruised and in pain because she'd once agreed to marry a monster. It was her fault he was suffering. The need to comfort him, to do anything at all to take away that pain, became overwhelming.

She closed the distance between them and placed her hand on his chest, trying to get him to look at her. He sucked in a sharp breath and let out a startled cry. Lois let go of him immediately, and pulled up his shirt, revealing a gruesome collection of bruises and blistered skin. It made her want to cry.

“Clark!” She continued to peel up his shirt, revealing yet more discolored skin and burn marks. “That’s not just a few bruised ribs. You’re severely injured. What happened at the docks? I want the whole story.”

Clark withdrew the hem of his shirt from her grip and pulled it back down, wincing at the pain that the movement caused.

His expression was almost defiant as he met her gaze. “Luthor was looking for me. I was hiding in a container covered in lead paint. When he didn't find me, he started throwing around containers.” His voice gradually turned hoarse, quiet and more subdued. “I was jostled around badly. Then he got so mad he lost control of his heat vision.”

When he stopped talking Clark’s lips were a tight line, his hands clenched into fists, still holding down the hem of his shirt as if he wanted to keep her from pulling it up again. It took Lois a moment to process his words. Something about the way Clark couldn’t quite look at her, something about the way his voice had turned softer with every word, made her think that he hadn’t wanted to share that last part.

Suddenly it dawned on Lois what had struck her as odd. “Wait a moment. He lost control of his heat vision? You mean he didn’t blow up the docks on purpose?”

Clark shifted his weight, seeming even more uncomfortable than before. “No, not on purpose.”

“How would you know? I mean, you told me you were inside one of those containers. You didn’t see what was going on.”

“I know what I heard,” Clark said tightly. “There was no mistaking his scream when the heat vision started. I know how that feels, being so angry that you just can’t contain it. It’s painful, intense, frightening.”

He faced down, squeezing his eyes shut. A slight shudder ran through him as if - in this very moment - he remembered another incident like that, when it had happened to him.

Lois' breath caught. She could practically see the guilt rippling over his features as if it had been him blowing up the docks. And it was hard to reconcile this with the mental image she had of him, of both Superman and Clark. He was always so calm and collected. No matter what she’d done to him, he’d never lost his cool. He might have given her a piece of his mind, had occasionally even vented his anger in words.

But she just couldn’t imagine that he’d ever physically lash out, much less resort to this kind of raw violence.

"You… you're not like that, Clark.” She protested. “You’re not violent."

His eyes met hers. The pain reflecting in them felt like a punch to the gut. His lips curled in a wry, somewhat self-conscious smile.

“What?” He laughed bitterly. “Do you think I'm not capable of intense anger? That I never lose my cool? That I’ve never—” He stopped himself, still unable to look at her, but she saw how tense his body was, how much he was struggling with his admission. "I may be an alien, Lois, but I’m not a Vulcan, processing everything calmly and rationally. When I was younger, I was quite the hothead. I…"

He trailed off, suddenly turning white as a sheet and clutching at the wall behind him for support.

"I think I need to sit down," he whispered.

Slowly, he lowered himself into a sitting position, grimacing and grunting as he did so. He pulled his knees up and rested his arms on them, taking slow breaths. For a terrifying moment, Lois thought that he was going to pass out. Then his color seemed to improve a bit.

She rushed to his side. "What's the matter?"

"Just got dizzy," he muttered. "This being normal and injured is no fun at all."

She laid her hand on his arm. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

He shook his head. "I just need a moment. The dizzy spell is already passing. I'm going to be fine."

Lois watched him, concerned. The droplets of sweat covering his forehead and the gray hue to his skin told another story. Gretchen Kelly's warning came back to her mind - that Clark's soul was hurting Luthor's body and vice-versa. Not to mention that she'd also said Luthor needed to kill his old body if he wanted to keep Superman's. As she looked at Clark, she realized they were running out of time.

She sat down beside him. "Clark, what are we going to do now? What if Luthor finds us here? You’re not in any state to outrun him."

Clark laughed, clutching his arms around his ribs.

Lois frowned. "I don't think there is anything funny about this situation."

Clark shook his head and continued to laugh. "Lois, he's Superman now. No one can outrun him." He sobered and raised his head to look at her. His expression was hard to interpret. "But he's not going to come back any time soon. Saving that ship in Rhelasia wiped me out completely. And the sun won't come up for another few hours. We're safe for now."

Lois stared at him, taken aback. "You're saying you lost your powers saving that ship. Has that happened before? Was there kryptonite?"

"No kryptonite." He rubbed his neck. "And I believe it happened once before, with the Nightfall asteroid. I'm not entirely sure, because I didn't even know I had powers when I woke up in that crater and later on."

"Then what makes you think you lost your powers?"

Clark seemed to ponder the question for a moment. Or was he feeling worse? Lois watched him warily, taking in every slight twitch of his facial muscles as if they would give away how he was really doing.

"I came to naked, for one," Clark said eventually. "My suit should have been protected by my aura when I reentered Earth's atmosphere. Secondly, there wasn't a single slip during the whole time I had lost my memories. Maybe my subconscious helped me maintain control of my strength. But I think my powers were not at a hundred percent."

He fell silent and stared ahead. Once more, Lois wondered if he was just thinking or feeling sick again. In any case, Clark looked seriously ill. She wanted to ask him about it when he reached for her hand and squeezed it lightly.

"Something was wrong with me, Lois." His eyes had widened and his forehead was creased with lines of worry. "Saving this ship shouldn't have drained my powers like that. I've lifted much heavier things - the Messenger, for example. I mean I don't have an exact point of reference to compare this rescue to others. There are factors to consider, like the storm, the water or that I had to fight to keep Luthor out. Still, I feel like this shouldn't have been so difficult."

Lois felt her chest constrict with fear. She had to tell him. "Kelly called me. She said that Luthor's soul is hurting your body, as much as your soul is hurting Luthor's body. And she told me that he would have to kill his old body if he wanted to keep Superman's."

Clark inhaled sharply. "So that's why he's after me. I thought he just wanted to be rid of a witness."

"Kelly also said she could help you," Lois added.

Clark's face hardened. "I know. She told me the same thing."

"Do you believe her?"

He shrugged. "She told me how she revived Luthor by using my clone's stem cells. That was what she injected me with when I was almost dying in Luthor's hideout, back when I first woke up." Clark chewed on his bottom lip. "Those cells healed me and gave Luthor's body powers. If she'd give me another injection, I'd stand a better chance of fighting Luthor. The way I'm feeling now - it won't be long until I can't do much of anything."

Lois' throat ran dry. "Should we contact her?"

Clark shook his head. "I don't trust her. Her help comes at a price."

"What price?" Lois asked.

He heaved a sigh. "She wants my blood."

Comments