Hi Bek!
Summary: Thanks to a slow news week, Lois has had way too much time on her hands. Clark quickly finds himself in over his head when her game of twenty questions starts to get a little too close to the truth.
Ooooooh…only, why is it on the light side of the boards?
In celebration, I present a not-so-ficlet ficlet!
/Adjusts scale for author/ beautiful fliclet from Bek
Lois asking Clark where he bought his doublet?
Thanks to KSaraSara for the read through and encouragement!
Hope you got all the pointy sticks plucked out again by now.
And thank you to everyone who has kept Ficlet Friday going for a whole year!
And thanks for starting the tradition! Even if I’m now totally behind on reading again.
“It doesn’t make sense, Clark. I mean what does he do when he’s not making a rescue?
We covered this. He’s wearing a doublet.
He can’t live in that suit
It would get a bit ripe if he did.
He lives off the sun, love, and air.
He could blame it on the slow news week—or month, really.
Idle hands and such…
And his lack of appearances had further added to her speculation.
Superman goes back into his bag when he’s not needed.
The truth, however, was that he’d made some random comment one afternoon. Something about the fact that Superman couldn’t be rescuing people 24/7. And she’d latched onto that and hadn’t let go. Typical Mad Dog style.
You don’t go around teasing a Mad Dog. it’s just not good practice. Not safe.
He wanted to kick himself
Could he do it if he’s fast enough?
“You know, Lois, maybe you’re right. Maybe he lives most of his life doing…something else,” he said. And he wanted to kick himself again. Why would he even give her mind more fodder? Validate her argument?
Doing something else? Like Wonder Woman?
too distracted by the way her fingers rested on her knee. He tore his eyes away and looked up.
Good thing they stayed on her knee. Or that it wasn’t his hand in her knee.
What do you think Superman would do as a career?
Video rental place. He clerks there. Or, maybe, and that’s maybe a bit out there, maybe he’s a writer? Doing sci-fi books and stuff?
But…oh, he’d have to have…a, uh, real name—he didn’t call himself ‘Superman’ before I—”
Maybe…/flips open phone book on random page/ Barry Allen. You could try ‘Barry Allen’ from Central City. As good a place to start as any.
Clark coughed. Why? Why, why, why?
He likes to torture himself. It’s similar to executives assuming the Sub role in a relationship of a certain kind. I even once read that Superman himself likes that role. Ask Mary for details.
“Before?” He pretended to be uninterested, and he lifted his coffee mug to take a sip.
“Oh my God.”
Where she jump to now?
“What if he didn’t just show up on Earth that same day he arrived in Metropolis? What if—what if he grew up here? And then he just decided to start helping publicly that day of the Messenger launch?”
PERRY: Okay, people, now who the heck gave Lane the funny pills?
. With a heavy sigh, Clark looked up at Lois.
“Uh, defective cup, I guess?”
“Lose something? In my desk?”
CAT: /raises hand/
LOIS: /quietly/ No, that one’s in Ireland…
You can contact him, I’ve seen it,” she said. “He must have…a cell phone?”
Clark waves his colorful tie. It can be seen from two miles up in the air.
It’s not like his suit has any pockets.”
Pouch. In the front. He just tries to remember to not put it on ‘vibrate’.
When her eyes lit up and she tilted her head and grinned at him, his stomach sank. “And that only supports my assertion that he doesn’t wear the suit all the time!”
Oops?
You have his number? How would you contact him otherwise?”
991-RESCUE
. “And…how did you get his number?
I have said it before. I’ll say it again. Superman sleeps in Clark’s bed.
Why wouldn’t he give it to me?”
Lois doesn’t sleep in Clark’s bed.
He never calls his home number? No remote answering machine checks?
So Superman does have a phone number. And Clark just lied.
And if you want to know, you’ll have to ask him yourself,
Is that a challenge? Did he hurt his head during Nightfall?
Ask him myself?”
Oh God, he’d really just said that, hadn’t he?
See?
I guess if he thinks so, he can always just say he’s not comfortable telling me. But—”
“I want you to have it but I can’t give it to you”?
. “What now, Lois?”
“You know his name!”
He really should have made up a political scandal.
“Lois, his name is Superman. You named him, remember?”
It’s like he grew in a lab. Hmmm…what if Vatman came first onto the scene? No name. No past.
“I don’t know, you just seem to know things!”
He’s like Tyrion Lannister! Minus the drinking.
LOIS: /points at Mayson/ He got the other thing down pat.
“So, if he’s your age, where did he grow up?”
Krypton would be the obvious answer.
On Earth. He’s familiar with…everything.
According to extensive studies by Lois herself, not with the female anatomy.
“Well, I mean, he’s more like you, of course, because he’s a man, and—”
Clark’s the way way before.
about to say before she mumbled something under her breath and then took off toward her desk, grabbed her coat, and hurried up the ramp toward the elevators.
What she up to now?
He couldn’t believe how close he’d been to just hauling her off to the nearest conference room and telling her the truth.
Maybe it’s really time he introduces her to his boyfriend?
Almost thirty years of keeping his secret, and she was about to force it out of him just by sheer persistence.
And that’s without her enhanced interrogation techniques. When she shows up in a short skirt, he should run.
They had that same intensity they’d had earlier, and he suddenly wanted to run—or fly—away as fast as he could.
She paused only long enough to take a breath, and then she recited…a long list of every little hint she’d ever heard about Superman’s…personal life.
Awww... he should just kiss her. That usually stops her babbling. And if done right, her thought process.
You can contact him right now, can’t you?”
He just needs to undress and Superman will show up immediately.
“Wh-what do you mean by contact him? I already told you he doesn’t carry a cell—”
“Ah ha!”
Clark groaned out loud this time. “I’m afraid to even ask.”
“He doesn’t carry a cell phone, but he has one?”
Although he’d already been lying to her for how long now?
Quantitatively, it was longer than Lex lied to her, personally. Qualitatively, Lex probably did more lying than Clark and she still agreed to meet him at the altar. Which means … he should first ask her to marry him.
. “And if he has a cell phone, then he has some way to pay for that cell phone, which means he has a job, which means he has—”
Aaaahhh…
Although he could sell some gold he found on the ocean floor.
“—a real name, which means he has a whole life that you don’t know about,” Clark finished for her…for some reason. And he kicked himself again. What was wrong with him? Did he…just want to tell her?
No, he doesn’t. It could open the door to both angry Lois and wanton Lois. Both are things best to avoid when you’re a Clark.
He actually…did. But he’d imagined something a little bit different. Not quite yet. And not like this. Certainly not like this.
I just realized, we never had a story where Lois learned about the powers when her kids float.
He sighed. “What if…he does have a normal life, Lois? Don’t you think he’d…tell you if he was…ready to? What if he has a reason for…waiting?”
Like, he’s married.
She scooted her chair closer, and his heart started racing—for more than one reason.
I get the sense that he’s a smidge infatuated with her.
Except you, for some reason. And that—hey, that’s right. Why you, Clark? You never answered that earlier. Why you and not me? Come to think of it…
/points to author’s Legacy/
Her eyes widened, and she straightened up in her chair. “Ohhh, I see! It makes perfect sense now!”
Lois read that one, too!
He didn’t really want to know, but he asked anyway. “What, Lois? What makes perfect sense?”
“You knew him before he was Superman!”
Oops?
KAL:
“You…came to Metropolis at the same time. You can contact him. You know his real name—”
“I didn’t ever actually say any of that,” he corrected.
But she inferred! Clark needs to take note and remember to never be in the vicinity of blondes once they get together or there might be a lot of nights of floating above the couch in his future.
“You two must be…” Her hand came up to cover her mouth, and her eyes widened even more, suddenly filled with some sort of understanding.
KAL:
He closed his eyes and ran a nervous hand through his hair. “Lois—”
“Are you jealous?”
Jealous? What?
“Jealous? Why would I be—”
because his boyfriend is flirting with Lois.
KAL:
“Because he got the superpowers and you didn’t.”
Clark narrowed his eyes. “Because…what?”
“Well, I mean, I don’t have a twin,
Oooooohhhhh…you went *that* road! Although, how Lois figures that Clark can’t also have powers and they share the costume (they wash it first!), is beyond me.
LOIS: Duh! He’s Clark. No powers.
Clark started laughing then, unable to hold back. When he finally got himself under control again, he shook his head, grinning. “Lois, I—I’m not—he’s not—he’s not my brother. What on Earth made you think that?”
That’s not an actual lie.
Same height, same hair, same…eyes…and smile and…and… Oh my God…”
She trailed off and spun back around to face him, her mouth partway open and frozen in disbelief.
He’s not a twin. He’s a clone that got bitten by a radioactive spider!
“So, um, that was…fun!” He hooked a thumb toward the door. “I’m just gonna head on out to, you know… Uh…call me…on my cell if you…need to. You…have my number!”
He might wanna bring chocolate.
/makes note on Kerth list/
Michael
PS: Hmm...it's Friday again. Does this count as a Ficlet, too?
PPS: JadedEvie's FDK is also extremely good
LOL Just taking off like that maybe wasn't the best decision. But...I also don't blame him for it 
Great job, thank you for sharing!! ❤️❤️