Happy Ficlet Friday. This is another installment in my Rebuilding A Friendship Series.
Hope you enjoy. With An Ocean Between Us And Room In My Bed“We're almost there.” Lois pulls a key from her pocket, while I lean against the wall and try not to fall asleep right there.
My chest has mostly healed, but it's still tender and itchy. The burst of healing powers sucked the last bit of energy out of me. Or maybe it has been the impossibly long walk. My legs feel like rubber, refusing to carry my weight much longer. I sense every single stone under the soles of my burning feet. The lock groans in protest as Lois turns the key. Waves are crashing into the walls of the harbor area, the countless sailboats and yachts creaking with the movement. Honking cars and shouting people chime into the cacophony of noises.
Lois grabs my hand. “Come on, big guy. We’ll find you a place to rest.”
Her voice sounds unnaturally loud to my sensitive ears. She switches on the light and I squeeze my eyes shut against the sudden assault of brightness.
“Where are we again?” I'm reluctant to follow her, afraid to walk into a trap. Luthor has his goons everywhere.
“A condo that belongs to a friend of Perry,” Lois explains, a hint of exasperation tinting her voice.
It might not be the first time she's telling me this. I've been too busy concentrating on my surroundings and avoiding to walk past anyone who might recognize me and report back to Luthor. My returning senses have helped with the task, but they're also making me cranky. Everything is too loud, too bright, too scratchy.
She raises her brows. “You said no hotels. That didn't leave many options.”
“I know.” With a weary sigh, I rub my eyes, fighting against the mounting frustration. I hate feeling so helpless. “This is still dangerous. What if Luthor knows you went to Henderson? What if…”
“Henderson had an APB out for Lex, before I even made it to the precinct.” Lois says with a hint of exasperation. She might have mentioned that, too. “Perry, Jake and Jimmy saw him leave your apartment house with a gun in his hand. When they found the place abandoned, they went straight to Henderson. With their evidence, my statement and the things I found in Lex's office, Henderson has enough to put him in jail for a long time. He'll be too busy escaping the police forces to plan his revenge.”
She smiles, which is meant to reassure me. I can't take comfort in the knowledge that Luthor is still out there, even if he's a fugitive now. Ever since Lois set foot into my apartment, things have spiraled thoroughly out of my control.
I couldn't really save her from Luthor, I’m still fighting with the effects of the kryptonite exposure. Every recovery seems to follow its own rules. The first time, I lost my powers for a day and then bounced back as if nothing had ever happened. The second time my powers weren't gone completely, but became a hit and miss affair.
They’re gradually returning now and it seems like my senses are trying to make up for the rest of my missing powers. Hearing has always been the most difficult to control.
Lois tosses the keys on a sideboard next to the entrance. I wince at the ringing in my ears. A gust of wind envelopes me with the overwhelming stench of sewage water, algae, fish and marine diesel. It's my cue to stumble into the condo and close the door behind me.
With a heavy sigh, I lean against the door and try to get my bearings.
Lois is watching me, guilt written all over her lovely features. “I’m so sorry, Clark. About everything that happened. But I promise you things are going to be all right again.”
I remember part of her rant about how she told Henderson that Luthor shot me, but Superman saved us and froze me to preserve my tissue so he could safely take me to a doctor– At the moment I'm not sure I even care.
“All we need to do is hide for a few days, until you're back to normal, until he's caught, and then…” Her voice quivers.
The encouraging smile on her lips crumbles to dust. She bites her lower lip. Her face is drawn and deathly pale. Her eyes fill with tears. I realize that she's just as barely keeping it together as I am.
“Then I'll be out of your hair,” she whispers.
The tears spill. A sob shakes her body, feeling like a stab to my heart.
The sight of her infuses my muscles with the strength to close the distance. I wrap my arms around her and inhale the soft scent of her hair. The warmth of her body soothes the lingering aches and pains. As I listen to her breathing, the city seems to die down.
“Don't go,” I murmur. “Please, don't go. I don't want to lose you…” My heart clenches as I remember that she doesn't feel that way about me, so I add, “...as a friend.”
I can be the friend she needs. As long as she lets me embrace her from time to time, as long as I'm allowed to listen to her heartbeat, I can learn to be content with however much she's willing to give.
She looks at me with wide eyes. “You still want to be my friend? After everything that happened? I hurt you, I almost got you killed.”
I wipe a tear off her cheek, allowing my finger to linger a bit longer than strictly necessary. “Luthor pulled the trigger, not you. I know it may be awkward for a while.”
That's an understatement. I would give anything to lean in and kiss her. I still remember the taste of her lips from the one kiss I stole while we were in the Honeymoon Suite. But I guess I can learn to put a lid on those feelings. It seems harder now that I’ve voiced them. God, how I wish I could take it all back.
I swallow down all the apologies sitting right there at the tip of my tongue. They're not going to be helpful, just a reminder of all the mistakes we made.
Instead, I draw a shaky breath. “Don't you think we could move past that?”
She shuffles her feet and gives a tight nod. Her eyes are still glistening with tears.
“Just friends, sure,” she replies flatly.
I close my eyes. It's going to take time to repair the damage, to win back her trust and to go back to loving her in secret. Right now, it seems like an impossible task, but I don't know how I could go back to living without her, either. But that's not a problem I'm going to be able to solve tonight anyway.
“I'm beat,” I mutter. “And you must be tired, too. I'll sleep on the couch.”
She shakes her head. “You should take the bed.”
Her fingers lightly grasp my hand, sending a spark of electricity through me. There's a gleam in her eyes, so very much resembling that loving expression she used to have for Superman. I've dreamed of her looking at Clark like that.
But with everything that happened, it's too much. I pull my hand back, half turning to leave.
“Nah, I'll be fine.”
I head toward the sofa that is entirely too small for me. There's a scratchy looking blanket on one side. The noises of the city return, the splashing of waves, the yachts clanking against each other, the traffic and the cries for help.
Superman won't be coming tonight.
No sleep floating to get comfortable.
I'm regretting my words almost the moment I said them.
There's a sudden flurry of motion behind me and then she wraps her arms around my shoulders; I feel her face pressed against my back. A tremor runs through her body. Having her so close is both Heaven and hell.
Her voice trembles. “Clark, please, I know I have no right to ask, but would you hold me tonight?”
I could name a million reasons why this is a bad idea. But the noises are fading again, leaving only the sound of her racing heart. It's soothing. And at the same time so incredibly confusing.
She doesn't love me, not like this. What has happened since we met in that alley, since she came to my apartment, none of it has changed how she feels about me, not really. She knows me better now than she did when she was asking me to love her.
“As a friend,” she whispers. “If you really have it in you to still be my friend, would you please hold me tonight?”
I heave a long sigh. When I'm in her arms, I'm at home. So, how could I say yes?
And how could I say no?
