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AmandaK Offline OP
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Story

Here goes nothing. Diving right in. This is the first story I've written in over 5 years and my first venture into writing L&C fanfiction. Hopefully I'm not too rusty. I had a lot of fun writing though and chapter 2 is begging to be let out of my brain. There are a lot of questions that still need to be answered. All will be revealed in time.

Comments?

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Just popping in to say Welcome! I'm super busy this weekend, so I might not get to read right away, but I'm really interested in the concept. Hoping to get to read soon! Do you have any idea when you expect to be posting new chapters (I'm one that likes to binge and read the whole story, and if it's going to be written/posted over a long period of time, I might want to wait until it's finished to read 😉).

Welcome again!!! And congrats on your first story in this fandom!

-Bek
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Okay so first of all, welcome to the boards! It's always great to see new writers join the crowd.
Also From what I can tell, you're not rusty - I'm quite hooked by this premise so far and will definitely keep reading this one.

What we have here is an intriguing start with sooo much potential. I'm, generally, a sucker for Clark-stays-a-little-longer-on-NK-and-returns-then-fics so that helps. And OF COURSE they had some...fun...before he left. Sure it's a trope but who cares?
So we have both Clark and Lois, inidvidually, having to deal with a kid. (BTW, Jon and Jor, huh? Someone got inspired by Superman & Lois, it seems...)
It also appears that the results/parenting styles have been quite...er..different, so to say. Granted, a lot of this was of course a product of the environment/society that had at their disposal respectively. Like, Clark can only do so much "humanizing" to his son in a society full of NEw KRyptonians - plus, as much at that might hurt him to think about - it might not even be the best approach considering he is supposed to be his successor some day. And then, there's this little nugget that Jor is, apparently, not even Clark's osn in the classic sense. MY first thought was some kidn of genetic mix-baby of Kal and ZAra via birth-matrix...but then I thought, given what we know about Zara, and the comment that he looks a lot like her (with the implication he does not share CLark's features)...he might actually be a Zara/Ching kid? Well I'm sure we will see as the story progresses but as for now that's my working theory.
Also curious ot ifnd out what's going on on NK that forced Clark and Jor to leave. Did the truth about Jor came out and caused a shitstorm (or well the Krypto-equivalent of it)? Hrm, or, as Clark ponders he wasn't able to do much influence on NK, the council decided he was not the man for the job? Or...well, lots of possibilities there.
The relationship between Clark and Jor seems to be...interesting. With everything so far in mind, I can see why it would be hard for Clark to bond with this kid, given both the KRyptonian society imprinted in him as well as the knowledge he's ont actually his son and he has to play more of a role there sort of. Still, he apparently cared enough to take him back to EArth with him so there's this. Also, the telepathic channel between the two also sounds interesting.
It's also fascinating to observe how Jor, who had him as his father (or, rather, ukr) for his whole life, is so much more distanced to him than Jon, who just met him. I guess Lois and the senior Kents (assuming they're still around) have a lot part in this. They probably always told Jon only the best about his dad so he is now super curious to meet that guy. I can see how having the legendary Superman as a father he never met would be awesome in a kid's mind. We can only hope that Clark will eventually be able to live up to the expectations of his son there. Something tells me it won't be all smooth sailing. It's not like living in this kind of society for a decade doesn't change people in osme form or another.
Also poor Lois. From her perspective, she waited and he didn't...since she doesn't have the whole picture. I see how that would hurt.
And Jor...well...he will definitely have a hard time adapting to EArth and his new reality. And he doesn't even know the language yet...well...uff. And Clark's own distance (as far as that goes) certainly didn't help with his impression he cares a lot more about Lois and Jon than him. He doesn't understand the nuances of Earth bonding as of yet but he clearly witnessed Clark's affection and recognized it. I think what goes over his head here is the weight of him seeing this people/meeting the kid for the first time, the emotions that causes in him. HE doesn't have the frame for this kind of behavior and might do some over-misinterpretation, so to speak..
I hope Martha and Jonathan are also into this one. Their reactions to it all shoudl be interesting and who knows, maybe they'll be able to be helpful to get the Mini-Kryptonian used to earth. I mean, they have some experience in this field, after all. :-)
Anyway, I'm SO in for this and eagerly waiting for more.
Do you have a "posting schedule" of some kind or are you just going to "post-as-they-finished"? No pressure, just curious how often I can expect this to be updated. If you don't know, that's of course fine too.
Great start! Looking forward to more!


Up, up and away - to the next fanfic.
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AmandaK Offline OP
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Bek - thanks for the welcome. I am hoping to post at least once a week. It mostly depends on how much my kids let me write. Hoping I can stick to fairly regular updates though.

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BlindPassenger- thanks for the long review. I won't reply to everything because... Well you'll just have to wait and see.

Jon and Jor - yes there was some Superman & Lois influence there. I really enjoy the show. It's the second best Superman show IMO (L&C is first). However, though the names are the same (and yes, Jor will end up going by Jordan for school purposes and such but he'll mostly stick with Jor) S&L was not my primary inspiration for their names or characters.

I decided to go with the name Jon because it is the most common name used for Clark's son. Even without Clark there, I feel Lois would want to take his feelings into account when naming their son and she also loves Clark's parents and feels Johnathan is an appropriate namesake. Jon is most directly based off of his counterpart in the Rebirth comics and the Battle of the SuperSons movie. I especially love his character in the movie - he's so optimistic and enthusiastic for life in general. He has his angsty moments but bounces back quickly and he LOVES that his dad is Superman. I feel that, even without his father's direct influence, Jon would develop something of that same personality - especially with his grandparents influence in the mix. And Lois, thinking Clark had been killed or otherwise prevented from ever returning, tried to tell Jon all of the great things about his father. Naturally, Jon is super excited to finally meet the man he's heard so much about.

As for Jor - I'll cover exactly why he was named Jor in the story, though it's mostly obvious. As I already revealed, he has been raised to be a leader on New Krypton and Clark had very little say in any of his upbring for this and other reasons. He is definitely going to have the hardest time adjusting and eventually his emotions are going to break through his walls. In the end, he is still a 9yo boy and he's been through a lot.

Jor is going to be a personal challange for me though. I'm having trouble getting into his head and finding the right balance between his Kryptonian upbringing and who he really is underneath all that. Hopefully I can write him well enough that he doesn't seem to have a completely split personality.

Jon and Jor are polar opposites and this will come to play in the story. Thier relationship will have a lot of trials as well. Jon will have a big part to play in helping Jor get used to Earth and breaking through his walls.

Lois is going to learn the truth about what happened on NK soon enough. Clark is really just waiting for the boys to go to bed. But even after learning the truth, she still has a lot to process. She is over the moon at the moment having Clark back, but reality is going to come crashing down soon enough. She had given up on him ever returning. She is used to parenting on her own and now has to reintegrate Clark into their lives, plus adding Jor into the mix. As much as she'd like to pick up where they left off, it won't be that simple.

We'll be switching to Lois' POV in chapter 2, so we'll get more of her thoughts on everything there. I was actually going to end chapter 1 right when Clark said yes to Jor being his son but then I realized that I wouldn't be able to cover Jor's little outburst from Lois' POV since she doesn't know Kryptonian.

Posting-wise, I mostly go with a post-as-they-finish kind of flow, so I won't have a set day to add chapters but my goal is to post at least once a week. If I fall behind, feel free to bug me.

I have the first 9 chapters loosely outlined so you can expect regular updates for at least that long. So long as I don't hit a writers block or RL doesn't interfere, I hope to keep it up beyond that.

Last edited by AmandaK; 01/12/24 09:02 AM.
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Off to a great start. I don't think I have ever read a story where Clark returns from Krypton with a kid and gathered one with Lois before he left. I'm wondering if Clark is really Jor's father or just acted as father since they couldn't tell anyone it was Ching's. What happened to Zara and Ching? Curious mind needs to know. I'll definitely come back for the rest.


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Bakasi - curious minds will know soon enough. I'm actually just about to write the scene explaining what happened to Zara and Ching. The rest will be explained in chapter 3 if my outline holds true.
I'm a sucker for return from NK stories and yeah, I never read any with quite this concept. I actually searched for one when the plot bunny first struck me. Most of the stories I've ever written are stories I want to read but no one else has written.

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Welcome to the boards! This is an impressive debut! Jor and Jon seem to be mirror opposites. Very much looking forward to seeing what direction this story will go in.


Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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I know I'm late on this one! So glad that I tracked back a couple of pages to read it!

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Stepping out of the ship, into the Kansas sun, felt like breathing fresh air for the first time in ten years.
Yikes! This amount of time passing is already heartbreaking!

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His satisfied smile dimmed somewhat as he felt the uncertainty of the ship’s other passenger tugging at this mind through their telepathic link.
This is such a great hook and introductory sentence!

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With everything that had happened in their last few days on the planet, Clark wasn’t sure what to expect.
That sounds intriguingly like we have some emotional baggage to unpack! eek

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Or so he should have been.
Oh, no, that's hard on a kid - not just the world swap, but the whole identity/purpose swap. Really interesting mix you've already got in this set-up!

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the invariable menu of New Krypton
This is such great phrasing.

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He had never established a strong relationship with the boy, but what little they had once had was destroyed in the weeks before they left New Krypton.
Oh, yeah - very exciting to have so much drama to unpack on the horizon.

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He turned away and looked out over the fields of corn.
For some reason, this reminds me of the way Lois framed Smallville when she first saw it. lol

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After ten years, would she still be waiting for him?
This is sort of the nail-biting question we're all waiting on. It's sort of nice to have it there in the story, in Clark's mind!

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Clark froze as two things registered at once.
I love how this pops the tension!

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"Cosplayers in Smallville?”
Oh, that's a fun moment!

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Recognition seemed to come slowly. Her smile was replaced by a look of confusion as her gaze skimmed over Jor before settling on Clark. Their eyes met and, for a moment, time seemed to stand still.
This is really just lovely prose, and absolutely captures how emotions work.

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Lois took a shuddering breath as her tears spilled over and she buried her face in his chest with a sob. “Oh, Clark. I thought I’d never see you again.”
Her legs seemed to give out underneath her, so he gathered her close and lowered them both to the ground, stroking her hair and rocking her back and forth. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant to be gone so long. Everything… nothing went how I expected. I am so sorry.”
Oh, it's just heartbreaking for the both of them!

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Clark had to force himself to breathe and fight back the wave of emotion that threatened to overcome him at hearing his son’s name.
Awwww

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For all the guilt Clark was feeling, it was clear that the boy felt no resentment towards him. “It’s nice to meet you, Dad.”
That's so like Clark! Love the choice to make the child that Lois raised like Clark - it makes me interested to see more of what Jor is like!

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Clark blink in surprise and turned his gaze back to Lois. “He knows?”
I love this choice, too! Of course Lois wouldn't subject her kid to hiding Clark's identity - it really makes me think of what she went through.

Looking forward to reading more!

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This is off to a great start! Clark being gone for 10 years and not even knowing he had a son with Lois is heartbreaking. I’m glad Lois told Jon the secret. It’s only right that he knows about his father and why he’s not in his life.

I’m surprised that Clark has another son though the exchange between Clark and Jor about Jon being his true heir has me curious.

I feel for Lois. She got a double shock. I’m looking forward to reading more. I’m hooked and love it! Thank you!

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Welcome to the boards! I’m glad the first fic you’ve written in 5 years is for the L&C fandom! You’re not rusty at all! This is wonderful!


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