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Joined: Jul 2003
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Story is Here


Any and all comments are welcome. If there's anything that could be improved, please let me know. If your comment is "too negative", don't worry, I'll get over it. But all that being said, I do hope this is still enjoyable.


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Features Writer
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Woo! That was an unexpected punch! Poor Alex!!

I'm fascinated by your characters and their stories, and I hope we eventually get to learn more!! 🥺

Also, YEAH, NEVER let someone in after closing.... EEP!

Thanks for sharing!

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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Thanks Bek! ^_^

If there's anything specific you'd like to know, questions make good plot fodder.

Last edited by Queen of the Capes; 03/28/24 03:23 PM.

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S
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I’m late to this game, but I’m really intrigued by these characters. Are both boys adopted? Or is it just Alex? What’s their dad’s deal? Todd and Edwina spend a lot of time with the family, do they ever notice something? What would happen if they did? What happened to their mom? What is high school like for the boys? They seem to have a typical brother relationship but also Kevin seems protective of Alex. But Alex also tipped off Kevin when Edwina was coming into the kitchen. Is someone actually stealing ingredients? This feels like it could either be one of those coming of age stories where kids think there’s a mystery and go digging and have all sorts of character development but there’s no actual mystery (or, you know, someone’s adopted a cat), or there could be something nefarious about tilapia that somehow ties into Alex’s origin that the dad is trying to prevent. It’s been several months, but I’m hoping for some more about these folks.

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Pulitzer
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Originally Posted by Scarlet42
I’m late to this game, but I’m really intrigued by these characters. Are both boys adopted? Or is it just Alex? What’s their dad’s deal? Todd and Edwina spend a lot of time with the family, do they ever notice something? What would happen if they did? What happened to their mom? What is high school like for the boys? They seem to have a typical brother relationship but also Kevin seems protective of Alex. But Alex also tipped off Kevin when Edwina was coming into the kitchen. Is someone actually stealing ingredients? This feels like it could either be one of those coming of age stories where kids think there’s a mystery and go digging and have all sorts of character development but there’s no actual mystery (or, you know, someone’s adopted a cat), or there could be something nefarious about tilapia that somehow ties into Alex’s origin that the dad is trying to prevent. It’s been several months, but I’m hoping for some more about these folks.

Just popping in real quick from the breakroom computer at work to say: Thank you so much for this comment! I literally printed it out and stuck it on my wall. I have answers in mind for most of these questions (it's funny you mention a cat, but explaining why would be both elaborate and spoilery). I'll try to come up with something soon that has at least some of the answers in it. smile


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