Welcome to the 2024 Kerth Quiz: Comedy Story
SPIFFY DISCLAIMER THINGY!: All the stories featured in this quiz qualify for the Best Comedy Story but this quiz is not a stamp of recommendation for nomination. There are more fantastic stories which qualify for this category, but this quiz only covers 7 randomly chosen ones.
(Instructions are blatantly copied/linked from previous Kerth Quizzes.)RECOMMENDATIONS: Don't forget that recommendations for other eligible stories
in this category are *very* welcome and encouraged! So don't forget to add these in a section after your guesses!
QUIZ RULES: One point each for getting the story and author from the quote. Plus, shiny gold stars for those who recognize their own stories. Please don't forget to mention which number you're answering. Rule recap: Open hard drive and open boards (+AO3!), *don't* forget to snip out the excerpts in your replies, and don't forget the spoiler tag when you post in the replies thread.
CATEGORY: These are the stories that made you laugh out loud this year. Whether they’re full of puns or totally absurd or just a series of hilariously unfortunate events, the purpose of these stories is to amuse the reader and make them laugh.
The DEADLINE for entries for this quiz is SATURDAY, February 24, 2024, by 11:59 p.m (Eastern Time Zone).
(And don’t worry – you still have until Tuesday, Feb. 20, to answer the Original/Supporting Character quiz!)
Here’s the full list of
Eligible Stories.
Here are the full quiz instructions:
Countdown to Kerth Quizzes Extended Instructions and Disclaimers.
Please post your answers
HERE.
Good luck!
Evie
__________________________
EXCERPT #1:Lois raised a brow. "Hope you don't do everything that fast."
Joy jumped up and down. "Did you hear that guys? That was practically an invitation!"
He worked at the console and a moment later Superman swept Lois up into his arms and floated toward the bed.
"One way to find out."
"Are we sure we're ready for this?" Fear trembled. His eyes were wide and his complexion gray rather than purple.
Anger pursed his lips. "You're not suggesting we stop now, are you? We made sure there are no frogs and no clones. Both Lois and Clark have the same size."
Disgust nodded emphatically. "Not to mention New Kryptonians, crazy billionaires or psychologists. Nobody has lost their memories…"
Fear clutched his arms around himself. "But Clark is still Kryptonian, and -"
Joy crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Will you shut up, all four of you. The manual says that Clark needs to be relaxed for this to work."
EXCERPT #2:“Lois, dear, can you help me?” a voice from behind her questioned.
Lois knew that voice; it was Mrs. Edwards in apartment 504. Lovely lady, Lois thought, although she could be a gossip at times.
“Nice view,” Mrs. Edwards whispered, leaning over to Lois with a bag of groceries in one hand and trying to open her mailbox with the other.
Lois noticed Clark looked back at the women with a wide grin. She just shook her head.
“Mrs. Edwards, don’t stroke his ego even more,” Lois responded as she took the bag of groceries from the older woman.
“Hey, I don’t mind. You don’t seem to be giving me any compliments on my body these days,” Clark replied as he turned around and leaned against the sofa, which was still stuck in the elevator. Lois raised her eyebrows and shook her head at his antics and the silly banter between them.
“Stay there, Mr. Hot Body. I’m going to help Mrs. Edwards upstairs,” Lois responded, pushing the button for the other elevator.
EXCERPT #3: Clark swallowed. "Lois, I can explain..."
"You had better, Clark! These glasses are fake! They're not prescription at all!"
"You see, I..." Clark trailed off while his mind screeched to a halt, switched to reverse, and then scrambled to find a new direction.
"Yeah? I see, Clark. What do I see? Someone who's been coming to work every day wearing fake glasses!"
"The thing is... I... uhm... switched to contacts."
"And you wear fake glasses...?"
"It... uh... just... felt weird without them, you know?"
Lois looked skeptical. "If you say so, Smallville." She pulled the glasses off, preparing to hand them back, and then froze, staring at his naked face. "... Oh my god."
EXCERPT #4:“Hey, guys!” Jimmy greeted, coming up to lean on the railing while he chatted. “I guess since you're both here, little Ellie’s feeling better?”
“No, sadly not yet. She’s still a bit congested,” Lois said as she stirred her coffee.
“Oh, then did you...” Jimmy’s voice fell to a whisper, “Did you get Superman to babysit again? That’s so cool that he does that for you! And I thi—”
“Huh?” Clark interrupted, confused and panicked for a second.
Thankfully, Lois was quicker on her feet. “Ah, no, not today. And really, that was a one-time thing—yesterday, Clark was feeling particularly exhausted, and Superman did us a favor.” She gave Clark’s arm a squeeze, though whether the emphasis was meant as a subtle warning for him or a justification for Jimmy, Clark couldn’t be sure.
Clark grinned sheepishly. “Yeah, guilty as charged. I must have been napping when you came to drop off those files yesterday!”
Jimmy’s eyes clocked between them, and Clark was all of a sudden thinking it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if their friend figured things out. But they were still likely in the clear for now.
EXCERPT #5:I (29M) proposed to my girlfriend (28F) and she said no. Her reasoning? I didn’t tell her my secret. She’s hurt and angry and I don’t know what to do.
We’ve known each other for two years and I fell for her at the first meeting. It took a while for me to win her trust, and after that, we shared a wonderful friendship before dating. I knew as we dated that I wanted to marry her, but it wasn’t until she died, and I resuscitated her, that I knew I couldn’t live any longer without asking her to marry me.
But… I have a secret. It’s a secret that will put her life in danger once she knows. I always planned to tell her, but wanted to know she loves me for who I am before taking that step, and frankly, I was terrified to tell her. I’ve never shared my secret with anyone; she would be the first in my life that I would tell the entire story. I trust her completely, and know she will never betray my secret, but she figured it out before I popped the question and now she’s upset that I didn’t trust her.
EXCERPT #6:"Again?" Lois moaned in protest as Clark shifted her out of his arms and onto their mattress.
"Sorry, honey, maybe I should sleep in the spare room." Clark leaped from the bed and spun into his suit.
"Don't you dare! I'll be here waiting for you when you get back."
"Okay. Love you." He kissed her forehead.
Whoosh! He was gone.
+++
Twenty minutes later, Clark landed in their bedroom via the open window, quickly spinning out of his suit and climbing back into bed beside his wife.
"Mmm, you're back." Lois immediately snuggled against him, her head resting on his chest, throwing one leg over him.
"Yes." He kissed her forehead, and then his body tensed as an alarm sounded in his ear.
"Again?"
"Sorry." He slid out from under her and spun back into his suit. "Be right back. Love you." He dropped a quick kiss on her temple.
Whoosh!
EXCERPT #7:“Lois thinks she spotted Superman at a bachelorette party.”
Cat grinned. “Oh! Barry!”
“Barry?!” they both echoed.
“Haven't seen him in a while,” Cat continued, staring wistfully off into the distance. “He's one of the better Superman impersonators, but I think he got his start as Batman. Great guy.” She turned to wink at them. “And I do mean a *great* guy.” She swished away, leaving Lois staring after her.
“Barry,” Lois said flatly. After a few seconds, she stood up from Clark's desk. “Well, that's forty bucks down the drain! Barry?!”
Good luck, everyone!
________________________________________________
Have a question? Ask it here! Or you can PM any of the K-Com members or reach out on Discord too! You can also send an email to us here: Kcom@kerthawards.com
In order to help you find all things Kerth for this year, we’ve created a TOC for all the
🏆2024 Kerth Award Posts 🏆.
The Kerth Committee
(KSaraSara, Darth Michael, lovetvfan, and JadedEvie)
