Previously in series:
An Icy ReceptionWelcome to the TundraWalking in a Winter WonderlandInto the WoodsThe Cold Truth----------
“Luthortopia”, as Lex had christened this ice-aged parallel Earth, was definitely not making Lois's list of top vacation destinations. It had been days since she and her coworkers had come for what was supposed to be a short interview: Lex was going to pose for some pictures and talk about his plans for solving over-population thanks to this uninhabited version of Metropolis, and then they were all going to go back to the *real* Metropolis to enjoy things like takeout, and hot showers, and fresh changes of clothing. As it was, Lois pulled Clark's suit jacket tighter around herself as she lay in her tent and swore that she'd never take anything for granted ever again.
She shifted beneath the spread sleeping bag, willing herself to fall back asleep despite the deep chill of permafrost seeping up through the tent's floor and into her bones. Beside her, Dr. Jill Plummer apparently had much more luck as the woman's soft snoring was barely audible over the wind howling outside. It probably helped that Jill and the other three scientists had already been dressed for the frozen climate when the portal was destroyed. It possibly also helped that Jill was in a committed relationship with one of them, so there was no reason for her sleep to be interrupted by dreams of Superman coaxing her out of her clothes only to begin dousing her with his ice-breath instead of doing anything actually fun.
With a sigh, Lois gave up her fight with insomnia and pulled her thermal blanket around her shoulders. Her back ached, her skin felt grimy, and she had an increasingly pressing desire to admire nature. For a brief moment, she thought about waking Dr. Plummer to ask for an escort, but ultimately decided against it. The woman probably wouldn't be able to do much if a saber-tooth tiger decided to have a Lois-icle for a midnight snack, and besides, at least one of them should be able to get some sleep tonight. She groped around for the flashlight, then donned the galoshes Dr. Carroll had scrounged up for her and quietly slipped out into the night.
**********
By the time the bushes had been sufficiently admired, Lois's teeth were chattering and her toes had begun to feel worryingly numb. She quickly did her best to reinvent hygiene, then started on the long walk back to the tent. She hadn't quite reached the ashes of the campfire when something moved in the darkness, and a noise from very close by made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.
Lois stilled, the white mist of her breath barely visible as she clicked off the flashlight in an effort to disappear. She had clearly been detected, though, as something large and covered in fur began slowly moving towards her. Based on what she could tell of the height, it had to be a bear. Lois remembered a camp leader teaching her group the rhyme “If it's brown, fall down; if it's black, attack back!”, but the darkness made it impossible for her to tell what color it even was...
The flashlight! In a desperate gamble, Lois positioned herself on her toes, ready to run, and shone the blinding light right in the creature's face.
Clark held his hands up in front of his eyes, blinking rapidly against the sudden illumination.
“Clark?!”
His hands slowly lowered as he stared at her, still blinking.
“Oh, Clark! Thank goodness it's only you!” The flashlight fell to the ground and she threw her arms around him in relief. Soft fur greeted her fingers instead of the synthetic material of the LexLabs thermal blankets. She pulled back, reluctant to leave the warmth of his body but also needing to see him more clearly. His unshaven state had already begun to lend him a rugged look, and the new addition of animal furs now made him seem like a true citizen of the stone-age. All he needed was Lex's homemade spear to complete the aesthetic. “What is all this? You look like you're turning into a caveman!”
He tilted his head at her, then leaned forward and began to actually sniff her hair.
“Oh, knock it off!” She stepped back, pulling her blanket tighter around herself. “Besides, I don't think any of us smell like daisies anymore.” She gave a short laugh, and the light still shining from the flashlight on the ground caught the bottom of the puff of white.
Clark frowned, moving around her in a slow circle and staring at her abdomen. “...Lolo?!”
“I said knock it off!” Lois rolled her eyes, then reached up to inspect the large animal skin draped over his shoulders. “Where did you even get this, anyway?” The pelt fell away from him at her tug, exposing a bare chest that had been smeared with an 'S' in red pigment.
Lois stared at the figure in front of her as an impossible idea began to knit itself together in her head. Despite his looking like her partner in the low light of the flashlight, Lois could now see that his beard and hair were longer than she would have expected given the rate at which Clark's seemed to be growing, and he wasn't wearing Clark's ever-present glasses. He also seemed perfectly oblivious to the freezing wind now buffeting his naked torso.
“Lolo,” he said again, followed by a string of nonsense—or at least, it should be nonsense if Clark was just playing a weird joke on her that involved hair-growth tonic and furs and a red clay he'd found somewhere under all this ice and snow. He scooped her up as though she weighed nothing, cradling her against his chest the way Superman had done many times. Lois gasped, losing her grip on the animal skin.
Before the pelt even hit the ground, the two of them were airborne.
**********
Light appeared in the horizon, illuminating a vast ocean beneath them as the sun raced upwards. Flying with Superman had always felt a little unreal, but this...maybe this *was* only a dream, and she had fallen asleep next to Dr. Plummer after all. It would certainly explain why she no longer felt the cold despite the wind whipping through her hair. It would also explain why her pilot so closely resembled Clark, even though she now knew he couldn't possibly be.
Massive chunks of ice floated in the water, catching and reflecting the brightening daylight. The ice eventually gathered into a frozen shore-line, and soon afterwards they were passing over tree-covered hills and high mountains. As they drew closer to one of the mountains, they began to descend.
Not-Clark landed a short distance away from a natural opening in the rock and set her on her feet. “Lolo,” he began, and then started saying words that she had no way of understanding.
A few people began to trickle from the mouth of the cave, staring curiously at both of them. While Definitely-Not-Clark spoke, the crowd around them grew. Children clung to the hands of parents and elders; men scratched perplexedly at their beards; women turned to each other and shrugged. Then the crowd parted, and a small, heavily-pregnant woman waddled towards them.
“KAL-EL?!”
Most-Definitely-Not-Clark broke off in what sounded like the middle of a sentence and gaped. “Lo...lo?” He looked at Lois. He looked at the woman. He looked at Lois again.
There was something slightly familiar about the woman, maybe somewhere around the eyes. A part of Lois wondered if this could be her own far-distant ancestor; or at least, the ancestor of whoever this universes' Lois Lane would be. The woman marched up to Super-Most-Definitely-Not-Clark, took in a deep breath, and began shouting incomprehensible gibberish at top volume.
The man who was somehow Superman and also a caveman tried in vain to get a word in while the woman screamed and ranted, tears running down her face. She pounded on his chest, which of course had no effect on the man of steel—man of stone?—and finally fled back into the cave with a sob. The caveman who was Superman followed, calling after her and apparently forgetting Lois completely.
The crowd, however, had not forgotten Lois. They continued to stare at her, some daring to creep closer and a few even sniffing the air in her direction. They looked towards the cave, in the direction Super-Caveman and the woman had gone. They looked at her.
Lois gave a nervous chuckle. “I don't suppose any of you can give me a lift back to Metropolis?” She shivered, pulling her blanket tighter and wrapping her arms around herself. The weather here was no warmer than it had been back at the campsite, and now that either Superman or his distant ancestor had left, she was bereft of whatever had been shielding her from the cold.
The crowd spoke among themselves, then shuffled again, making way for an old man. He walked slowly towards her, leaning on the shoulder of a boy she guessed to be around Jimmy's age. The pair stopped just in front of Lois, and the older man looked her over. His gaze was surprisingly intense, and yet Lois found herself relaxing, slightly. Something about these two strangers felt inexplicably...right.
The old man held his hand up, and a hush fell. He spoke to the crowd in words that Lois had no hope of understanding, then he turned back to her and beckoned for her to follow. Lois didn't even bother to weigh her options before going with them into the relative warmth of the cave.
**********
Clark stared at the lion skin on the ground, already covered with a sheen of frost that glittered in the gray light of dawn.
Dr. Carroll nudged it with the toe of his boot and turned to Dr. Diggory. “What do you think: an American Lion?”
The plump scientist adjusted his glasses. “Pre-Sangamonian, and this close to woodlands? Between that and the coloring, a Eurasian Cave Lion makes more sense.”
“It doesn't make sense at all!” Lex snapped, white mist exploding in front of him.
Everyone stared at the lion skin.
Dr. Lewis took a deep breath, forming a small cloud which the wind carried away. “So, here's what the evidence is pointing to: Lois got up in the middle of the night and came outside...” He looked at Dr. Plummer who nodded, her forehead knitted in concern. He then motioned to the heap of ash and charcoal behind them, frowning. “She came to the remains of the fire, and was surprised by...a very lost lion. Lois somehow managed to kill it, without either of them drawing blood. She then skinned it and disappeared with the rest of the body.”
Lex stared at Dr. Lewis. “*That* is your theory?!”
The scientist shook his head. “No, that's my *hypothesis*. Do you have a better one?”
Jimmy blinked up at them, still shivering beneath his blanket. His words came out in a white puff. “Could she have been abducted by aliens?”
Clark lowered his glasses and briefly ran a light dose of heat-vision over Jimmy's quaking form.
Dr. Carroll rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Please don't tell me you're one of those people who think all of man's early accomplishments were due to Promethean aliens.”
“Well, it makes as much sense as a teleporting lion!” Jimmy's shoulders relaxed a little and he gradually stopped shaking.
Before replacing his glasses, Clark studied the lion skin once more, looking at and through it. He was no expert on hunting or skinning, but his gut told him that this lion hadn't been alive last night. A small rock lay underneath it, about the size of his palm, with one well-sharpened edge. The hairs on the back of Clark's neck began to rise.
Dr. Carroll snorted. “Well, if that's how we're meriting ideas, then maybe Santa Clause swung by in his magic sleigh and flew off with her!”
“Uh, guys?” Clark pushed his glasses back up. “Are we sure that there aren't any other humans here?”
The four scientists all nodded, and Dr. Diggory spoke. “Oh, very. Assuming humans still exist on this planet as on ours, the era in which they cross the land-bridge into Alaska is still a very long way away.”
Dr. Plummer came to stand beside Dr. Diggory, slipping her hand into his. “And even if they did somehow arrive earlier, they wouldn't be able to survive the predators here for very long. In order to stand a chance on this continent right now, you'd either need the advantages of modern technology, or you'd need to be Superman.”
Jimmy whimpered and pulled the thermal blanket up over his head, like a turtle retreating into its shell.
Clark stared once again at the skin and the sharpened stone, and one more thought crossed his mind: whatever had happened, he hadn't heard Lois scream. “I'm going to look for her.” Without waiting for a response, he ran as fast as human speed would allow until the woods could shield his departure from their view.
The others shouted after him.
“Clark?! Clark, don't go alone! You'll die out there!”
“The megafauna—!”
“CK, don't be crazy!”
“So does this mean that the rationing—OW!”
**********
The fire at the mouth of the cave crackled merrily, its light playing on the rough stone walls that shielded Lois from the icy wind just beyond. This might not be the romantic arctic palace that her dreams of Superman featured, but it was warm, and her hosts had graciously provided her with food. She let the thermal blanket fall to the ground beside her as she ate, though she chose to keep Clark's suit jacket on. The young man who reminded her of Jimmy examined the blanket curiously, pulling it through his fingers and feeling all of its edges.
The roast beef smelled and tasted like heaven! Lois hadn't had high expectations when the old man had sent the younger out to dig up some meat that had been buried under a patch of ice. She'd braced herself for barely-palatable “caveman food”, but somehow, the simple fare that was just burned in a fire with no seasonings put the modern, fancy-packaged foods provided by LexLabs to shame.
While the food was cooking, and even throughout the meal, several people came up to the fire with their own pieces of meat. They exchanged words and sometimes food with the old man, and a few even tousled the younger man's hair; but mostly, they sat by the fire and stared at Lois. One woman surrounded by several children had even come right up to Lois, looked her over with a decidedly belittling expression, and tried to feel Clark's jacket. At a word from the old man, the woman had let go and departed with her children, but Lois still burned with an instant dislike of her.
Deeper into the cave, the Super-Caveman she'd mistaken for Clark had apparently begun to lose his patience with the pregnant woman. Lois couldn't understand their words, but their tones and body language translated for them. The woman planted her feet apart and folded her arms over her belly, glaring at him. With a sigh, he rolled his eyes and turned away, pushing his fingers up through his hair. Something about the motion sent a jolt through Lois, and she tried to figure out why it seemed so familiar. It was certainly never something she'd seen Superman do back home...
Really, it was hard to imagine Superman, in any universe, having what appeared to be a marital spat. Imagining him married was easy enough: that was a fantasy she'd frequently indulged in, with herself as the co-star. But as for fighting, it simply wouldn't happen. His only flaw would be that he'd be so busy saving the world that he'd be late for dinner or miss an anniversary or two; but of course, that would be perfectly understandable, and so Lois would be more than willing to overlook it. No, Superman was perfect, and it followed that any relationship he entered would be perfect too.
Super-Caveman sighed and stepped away from the woman, as though he were about to leave, but she stopped him with a hand on his arm. More chatter ensued, with occasional waving in Lois's direction. He gave a deep sigh. “Lo-Lo...”
Every hair on the back of Lois's neck stood up. The man who spoke that word might fly, like Superman did, and he might be called Kal-El, which was also Superman's name, but that voice and the tone he just used belonged entirely to Clark. It was exactly how her partner dragged out her name whenever she was—well, whenever he *thought* she was being unreasonable.
The woman shifted from yelling to crying, one hand resting on her enlarged belly while the other came up to scrub at her tears.
The caveman, whoever he really was, softened his stance and spoke to her in a gentler tone. He reached up to his own shoulders but, finding the lion skin absent, settled instead for pulling the woman into his arms. She came willingly, and he brushed his thumb along her tear-dampened cheeks.
Lois absently raised a hand to the lapel of Clark's suit jacket, which he had put around her shoulders when they first arrived in this frozen world. Not for the first time, she found herself wondering how he could endure the cold without even the meager protection it offered. She stared at the caveman, whose furs covered very little now that the lion-skin cape was gone, and yet he hadn't even blinked when it had fallen from his shoulders and exposed him to the night's plummeted temperatures. Of course, the caveman was somehow this world's Superman.
And the caveman was Clark.
The smile he now bestowed on the woman wasn't the reserved one Superman occasionally favored her with after a rescue; it was the dopey one Clark had worn back when she first warned him not to fall for her. Clark, who kept checking her and Jimmy for frostbite but never seemed concerned about his own extremities. Clark, who still had the energy to set up camp after hours and hours of walking over ice and tundra while pulling a heavy sled. Clark, who somehow predicted where the woods were before they were even in sight; Dr. Lewis had needed a telescope to confirm it.
Lois's eyes flicked to the mouth of the cave and the frost-covered trees beyond. She rose to her feet, aware that people were staring at her as she left the warmth of the fire and stepped out into the wind's icy blast. Maybe they'd think she was crazy—frankly, she was starting to wonder it herself—but, she just had to know.
She inhaled. “HELP, SUPERMAN!”
At first, nothing seemed to happen. Before Lois could consider whether to shout again, a crack of thunder shook the forest and Superman stood in front of her. Slacks and a dress-shirt replaced the tights, but Lois knew the truth.
**********
Next Chapter-->
She should try to dream of him bathing her with his eyes instead!
The question is, would Dr. Plummer be the one to get away faster?
Wolf. Man. /thumps chest/ 
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Michael